Disclaimer: You know the deal.
A/N: I'm having fun writing from Michael's POV. Sorry about the bad attempt at poetry/lyric writing some where in there. Yesterday I kept trying to login to upload this chapter and it would never let me. And then the internet went down. But its all fixed now so I'm happy. Anyways, enjoy!
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(Michael POV) 10 weeks to the performance.
It has been about a week and a half since that incident in G&T, which Mandella initiated. I've gotten over that part of it, but when I talk to Mia, she still seems strained at times. And when this happens... then I don't know who to get mad at, Lilly for starting the whole thing, Mandella for trying to 'help,' or ...myself.
So I get mad at all three of us. But I know it doesn't do any good.
I still help her with her Algebra, our knees still touch, my hands still enclose hers and they still hesitantly leave. Things haven't changed. And I'm going to go crazy if I don't do something soon.
But this next week is Thanksgiving, so of course everyone is busy preparing to gorge themselves. Hopefully it will provide a much needed distraction. But honestly, I doubt it. I tried to suggest to my parents that we don't eat a huge meal as a family. (Well, I said a lot more than that, but I tried to slip in the 'as a family' part in there with out being noticed too much, it didn't work.) Instead, it just got me about an hour of psychoanalyzing.
I'm sorry; it's not my fault if I'd rather spend my days and nights in my room, dreaming about Mia, writing about Mia. It's not my fault I fell in love with her.
But I'm sure I've said this all before, so I'm just going to start writing lyrics again.
[Untitled]
To the inside out, you / If anything / It should have been, / A better thing. / One sip of a diamond life, / This elevation of nothing new, / It is not deserving / Of you.
From underneath / Staring at the ceiling / Its all inside of you / What I would give / To be beside you / I wish that I was / I would that I wish / Wish that I would....
To the inside out. You / Run me through, / One look at a time.
Surprise, surprise, / There's another pair, / Your eyes grey reflection see /
It was all inside of you / If anything, / For you, / It should have been a better thing.
You deserve a better thing, / Than me...
One step forward / Than it flashes, / Two steps back / To the dark / Erasure of one future / A still photo captured me / Captured you. / By luck, its / All been lost once more / That photo memory / Its not in my head, / No its, / Its all inside of me.
To the inside out you / Eclipse all thoughts / Of my escape / I am shackled to your ground / And I know, I will thrive / On this desperate reach for you / Everything I need / Is inside of you.
I wish that I was / I would that I wish / Wish I would / Just tell you. / That I love you. / That everything I need / Is inside of you.
All right, I'm done with the lame lyrics for now.
------------
Mia just came over. Lilly didn't bother to tell me, so I unfortunately didn't have the chance to open the door. But that didn't stop me from stripping off my shirt before going to investigate what they were doing.
They were watching Lifetime movies! Yay! (Note the peppy sarcasm.) I could hear it even before I made it to the living room. I cleared my throat as I came in. Mia turned and smiled at me.
"Hi, Michael," she said, and wiggled some fingers at me. And then promptly put the popcorn that was sifting through her fingers, in her mouth.
Don't be stupid, Moscovitz, I told myself. Answer her before she thinks your being rude and staring. Although... she did look pretty cute with her hair like that, and wearing that blue t-shirt, it made her grey eyes ever so beautiful. And it made it pretty hard not to stare.
Moscovitz! Back to reality!
"Hey, Thermopolis," I said. I cleared my throat again, and this time Lilly turned around.
"Michael, if you insist gagging on air, please, choose to slowly die in a different room, you're ruining the mood." Ah, my sweet sister. And then she opened her mouth again. "Unless your just here to boost your testosterone. In which case, I hope that gagging fit speeds up a bit."
I felt myself blush, luckily Mia looked confused, she had turned back to watch part of the movie and so *hopefully* she didn't hear what Lilly said.
"I was hoping you'd turn it down, I was listening to my music."
"You wish. You always play that angsty music too loudly anyway. Deal with it."
"Fine, I guess that leaves me no choice but to watch the movie." I said this as I sat next to Mia, reaching into the bowl and grabbing popcorn. Mia looked at me and smiled. She still hadn't said anything. I wonder what was going through that delicious mind of hers.
Did I just think that?
I really am getting desperate. I am watching Lifetime movies, just to sit next to the girl I love, and I just thought of her as 'delicious.' Yes, I think that would constitute desperate.
Mia looked away, blushing. Definitely disgusted and embarrassed by my obvious interest in her. But I couldn't help myself from watching her, still.
That was, until Lilly spoke one last time. Lilly groaned. "Death by testosterone it is."
Then it was my turn to look away, red as a tomato, I'm sure.
-----------------
We have watched maybe three or four movies now. I don't know I've pretty much zoned out through most of it. Well, zoned the movie out. I felt hypersensitive sitting there next to Mia, every time she gasped or sighed I felt my skin tingle. Admittedly, I had confidently positioned myself so close to her that when she made the slightest move, I felt it. But every time she did move, I made myself panic for air, afraid that she might be moving away.
And partway through whatever movie we were watching now, she got up, confirming my worst fears. She was leaving me. I never really had her to begin with, but she was still leaving me. I did my best not to call out desperately after her, or reach for her hand. I did sigh loudly though. It was too good to last. I think the movies were affecting me, I never felt so ... vulnerable. I looked over at Lilly, thankfully out like a log.
I started to get up then, thinking that Mia had left, so I no longer had any reason to be there anymore.
"Where are you going?" a voice whispered. It was Mia, standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding a container of Rocky Road ice cream. And two spoons.
God, I love this girl.
"I [insert lengthy pause here—how does she do this to me???] ... was just going to grab er, a blanket," I answered quietly. Well, at least my excuse sounded feasible.
"Oh, okay, well hurry up."
"Of course, I wouldn't want to miss the dramatic plot!" I said jokingly. "Will Louisa still have Frederick? Or will he have to do something so romantic, she'll melt in his arms...?" I finished with an airy sigh, and pretended to skip away happily.
Mia giggled. It felt good, really good, to make her laugh. I turned around to see her plop onto the coach. I sent a silent plea to which ever God was on duty at the time... and asked for Lilly to stay asleep. After that, I happily scampered off to my room. Okay, I didn't scamper, I sprinted.
It made me cringe as my feet pounded like hammers against the floor. I didn't want to her to think I was that eager. Who was I kidding? Of course I was that eager. I grabbed the blanket and tried to walk 'coolly' back to the living room.
Mia held up the Rocky Road container as I spread the blanket over our legs, and then she pushed herself back into the coach, her shoulder rubbing mine. I smiled at her and held out my hand for a spoon.
I think we ate about half the container and started too watch another movie. By the end I was getting pretty cold. I think Mia was too, because she started to shiver.
There, I put my arm around her and whispered, "You're really cold, aren't you?" Mia nodded her head, but stared at the TV screen. She really must like this movie. The screen flashed as headlights went across the screen. I loved the way lighting of the television highlighted her face like this. It almost made her look like she was blushing a little.
By the ending of the movie, Mia was asleep. I let my hands slide through her perfect hair. She smelled wonderful; and looked beautiful, her head resting on my chest.
My own eyes were having a harder time staying open, by now it was only the credits playing on the screen.
Maybe these Lifetime movie marathons weren't so bad after all...
----------
I woke up the next morning disappointed to find Mia had already removed herself from my arms. Then again, I'm sure she was ashamed that some one might find her with me. I mean, its not like I've got the perfect body, or the best looks, and definitely, for Mia, I am way too much of a nerd.
She'd never be interested in me, right?
And yet, I have this really unclear memory of last night, where I think she said, "I love you, Michael." To me. And I said it back. I think.
No.... wait, I think that might've been a dream. Damn, it seemed so realistic. What can I say? Now I'm delusional too?
I stretched my legs out and ended up putting my foot down on something that was cold and sticky.
Oh god! The spoons and the ice cream!
Sure enough, when I looked down, I had not (luckily) knocked over the melted ice cream, but I had put my foot on top of the spoons. I picked them and the ice cream container up, and walked into the kitchen.
There was Mia in her beautiful splendor, looking radiant as ever.
And Lilly was there too.
"Hey, dorkus," said Lilly smirking, "Sleep well?"
Well, it was definite that Lilly saw me with Mia. Ah well, she was bound to find out about my feelings sooner or later.
Meanwhile, Mia just blushed.
==========================
(Mia POV)
I woke up this morning, with Michael's arms around me!! I was so ecstatic, I even told him how much I loved him. I was even about to kiss him on the cheek when (and this part I'm sure I'm imagining):
I think he mumbled that he loved me too!
But he probably thought I was Judith or ... some other girl. Still, it was nice to hear the words from his mouth, in his voice.
And then I realized, Lilly wasn't asleep next to us. She could be anywhere. And if she saw me in Michael's arms... she'd know I like him. And she might tell Michael! I prayed that she, in her morning glory (which meant a half a sleep grump who is more unobservant than any other time of day), would not have noticed.
Please! If there is a God, PLEASE let Lilly have over looked this.... please?!
Even though I totally wanted to stay there for as long as possible, I got up, and put Michael's blanket neatly around him.
I went into Lilly's room to change, and looked at the clock. Only eight o'clock? Wow... I didn't even have to rush to get ready for princess lessons. And as I was sorting through my bag I found the ticket stubs from the movie I went to last night. With Kenny.
I hadn't even thought about him all night while I was next to Michael, I didn't even think about him this morning while I told Michael I loved him.
I have to be the world's worst girlfriend. I mean honestly. Kenny is great, he does his best to make sure I'm happy, and I just prance off and go sleep with another guy.
Okay, that totally did not come out right.
I fell asleep, with another guy, the guy I actually love, not Kenny Showalter. Michael Moscovitz. And I can't even get up the guts to tell either one how I feel.
Unless they're asleep. And then I don't seem to have a problem.
THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR!
===================================================== =====================================================
Okay, now that you've read, you just have to __________. (You know the word).
(By the way, I'm not trying to make this like 15 chapter story... it just always ends up that way for me, I'll write something that's about 6 pages long, and its only supposed to be 2... so ... yea. I guess what I'm saying is hang in there, Michael and Mia will get together before the end.)
A/N: I'm having fun writing from Michael's POV. Sorry about the bad attempt at poetry/lyric writing some where in there. Yesterday I kept trying to login to upload this chapter and it would never let me. And then the internet went down. But its all fixed now so I'm happy. Anyways, enjoy!
===================================================== =====================================================
(Michael POV) 10 weeks to the performance.
It has been about a week and a half since that incident in G&T, which Mandella initiated. I've gotten over that part of it, but when I talk to Mia, she still seems strained at times. And when this happens... then I don't know who to get mad at, Lilly for starting the whole thing, Mandella for trying to 'help,' or ...myself.
So I get mad at all three of us. But I know it doesn't do any good.
I still help her with her Algebra, our knees still touch, my hands still enclose hers and they still hesitantly leave. Things haven't changed. And I'm going to go crazy if I don't do something soon.
But this next week is Thanksgiving, so of course everyone is busy preparing to gorge themselves. Hopefully it will provide a much needed distraction. But honestly, I doubt it. I tried to suggest to my parents that we don't eat a huge meal as a family. (Well, I said a lot more than that, but I tried to slip in the 'as a family' part in there with out being noticed too much, it didn't work.) Instead, it just got me about an hour of psychoanalyzing.
I'm sorry; it's not my fault if I'd rather spend my days and nights in my room, dreaming about Mia, writing about Mia. It's not my fault I fell in love with her.
But I'm sure I've said this all before, so I'm just going to start writing lyrics again.
[Untitled]
To the inside out, you / If anything / It should have been, / A better thing. / One sip of a diamond life, / This elevation of nothing new, / It is not deserving / Of you.
From underneath / Staring at the ceiling / Its all inside of you / What I would give / To be beside you / I wish that I was / I would that I wish / Wish that I would....
To the inside out. You / Run me through, / One look at a time.
Surprise, surprise, / There's another pair, / Your eyes grey reflection see /
It was all inside of you / If anything, / For you, / It should have been a better thing.
You deserve a better thing, / Than me...
One step forward / Than it flashes, / Two steps back / To the dark / Erasure of one future / A still photo captured me / Captured you. / By luck, its / All been lost once more / That photo memory / Its not in my head, / No its, / Its all inside of me.
To the inside out you / Eclipse all thoughts / Of my escape / I am shackled to your ground / And I know, I will thrive / On this desperate reach for you / Everything I need / Is inside of you.
I wish that I was / I would that I wish / Wish I would / Just tell you. / That I love you. / That everything I need / Is inside of you.
All right, I'm done with the lame lyrics for now.
------------
Mia just came over. Lilly didn't bother to tell me, so I unfortunately didn't have the chance to open the door. But that didn't stop me from stripping off my shirt before going to investigate what they were doing.
They were watching Lifetime movies! Yay! (Note the peppy sarcasm.) I could hear it even before I made it to the living room. I cleared my throat as I came in. Mia turned and smiled at me.
"Hi, Michael," she said, and wiggled some fingers at me. And then promptly put the popcorn that was sifting through her fingers, in her mouth.
Don't be stupid, Moscovitz, I told myself. Answer her before she thinks your being rude and staring. Although... she did look pretty cute with her hair like that, and wearing that blue t-shirt, it made her grey eyes ever so beautiful. And it made it pretty hard not to stare.
Moscovitz! Back to reality!
"Hey, Thermopolis," I said. I cleared my throat again, and this time Lilly turned around.
"Michael, if you insist gagging on air, please, choose to slowly die in a different room, you're ruining the mood." Ah, my sweet sister. And then she opened her mouth again. "Unless your just here to boost your testosterone. In which case, I hope that gagging fit speeds up a bit."
I felt myself blush, luckily Mia looked confused, she had turned back to watch part of the movie and so *hopefully* she didn't hear what Lilly said.
"I was hoping you'd turn it down, I was listening to my music."
"You wish. You always play that angsty music too loudly anyway. Deal with it."
"Fine, I guess that leaves me no choice but to watch the movie." I said this as I sat next to Mia, reaching into the bowl and grabbing popcorn. Mia looked at me and smiled. She still hadn't said anything. I wonder what was going through that delicious mind of hers.
Did I just think that?
I really am getting desperate. I am watching Lifetime movies, just to sit next to the girl I love, and I just thought of her as 'delicious.' Yes, I think that would constitute desperate.
Mia looked away, blushing. Definitely disgusted and embarrassed by my obvious interest in her. But I couldn't help myself from watching her, still.
That was, until Lilly spoke one last time. Lilly groaned. "Death by testosterone it is."
Then it was my turn to look away, red as a tomato, I'm sure.
-----------------
We have watched maybe three or four movies now. I don't know I've pretty much zoned out through most of it. Well, zoned the movie out. I felt hypersensitive sitting there next to Mia, every time she gasped or sighed I felt my skin tingle. Admittedly, I had confidently positioned myself so close to her that when she made the slightest move, I felt it. But every time she did move, I made myself panic for air, afraid that she might be moving away.
And partway through whatever movie we were watching now, she got up, confirming my worst fears. She was leaving me. I never really had her to begin with, but she was still leaving me. I did my best not to call out desperately after her, or reach for her hand. I did sigh loudly though. It was too good to last. I think the movies were affecting me, I never felt so ... vulnerable. I looked over at Lilly, thankfully out like a log.
I started to get up then, thinking that Mia had left, so I no longer had any reason to be there anymore.
"Where are you going?" a voice whispered. It was Mia, standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding a container of Rocky Road ice cream. And two spoons.
God, I love this girl.
"I [insert lengthy pause here—how does she do this to me???] ... was just going to grab er, a blanket," I answered quietly. Well, at least my excuse sounded feasible.
"Oh, okay, well hurry up."
"Of course, I wouldn't want to miss the dramatic plot!" I said jokingly. "Will Louisa still have Frederick? Or will he have to do something so romantic, she'll melt in his arms...?" I finished with an airy sigh, and pretended to skip away happily.
Mia giggled. It felt good, really good, to make her laugh. I turned around to see her plop onto the coach. I sent a silent plea to which ever God was on duty at the time... and asked for Lilly to stay asleep. After that, I happily scampered off to my room. Okay, I didn't scamper, I sprinted.
It made me cringe as my feet pounded like hammers against the floor. I didn't want to her to think I was that eager. Who was I kidding? Of course I was that eager. I grabbed the blanket and tried to walk 'coolly' back to the living room.
Mia held up the Rocky Road container as I spread the blanket over our legs, and then she pushed herself back into the coach, her shoulder rubbing mine. I smiled at her and held out my hand for a spoon.
I think we ate about half the container and started too watch another movie. By the end I was getting pretty cold. I think Mia was too, because she started to shiver.
There, I put my arm around her and whispered, "You're really cold, aren't you?" Mia nodded her head, but stared at the TV screen. She really must like this movie. The screen flashed as headlights went across the screen. I loved the way lighting of the television highlighted her face like this. It almost made her look like she was blushing a little.
By the ending of the movie, Mia was asleep. I let my hands slide through her perfect hair. She smelled wonderful; and looked beautiful, her head resting on my chest.
My own eyes were having a harder time staying open, by now it was only the credits playing on the screen.
Maybe these Lifetime movie marathons weren't so bad after all...
----------
I woke up the next morning disappointed to find Mia had already removed herself from my arms. Then again, I'm sure she was ashamed that some one might find her with me. I mean, its not like I've got the perfect body, or the best looks, and definitely, for Mia, I am way too much of a nerd.
She'd never be interested in me, right?
And yet, I have this really unclear memory of last night, where I think she said, "I love you, Michael." To me. And I said it back. I think.
No.... wait, I think that might've been a dream. Damn, it seemed so realistic. What can I say? Now I'm delusional too?
I stretched my legs out and ended up putting my foot down on something that was cold and sticky.
Oh god! The spoons and the ice cream!
Sure enough, when I looked down, I had not (luckily) knocked over the melted ice cream, but I had put my foot on top of the spoons. I picked them and the ice cream container up, and walked into the kitchen.
There was Mia in her beautiful splendor, looking radiant as ever.
And Lilly was there too.
"Hey, dorkus," said Lilly smirking, "Sleep well?"
Well, it was definite that Lilly saw me with Mia. Ah well, she was bound to find out about my feelings sooner or later.
Meanwhile, Mia just blushed.
==========================
(Mia POV)
I woke up this morning, with Michael's arms around me!! I was so ecstatic, I even told him how much I loved him. I was even about to kiss him on the cheek when (and this part I'm sure I'm imagining):
I think he mumbled that he loved me too!
But he probably thought I was Judith or ... some other girl. Still, it was nice to hear the words from his mouth, in his voice.
And then I realized, Lilly wasn't asleep next to us. She could be anywhere. And if she saw me in Michael's arms... she'd know I like him. And she might tell Michael! I prayed that she, in her morning glory (which meant a half a sleep grump who is more unobservant than any other time of day), would not have noticed.
Please! If there is a God, PLEASE let Lilly have over looked this.... please?!
Even though I totally wanted to stay there for as long as possible, I got up, and put Michael's blanket neatly around him.
I went into Lilly's room to change, and looked at the clock. Only eight o'clock? Wow... I didn't even have to rush to get ready for princess lessons. And as I was sorting through my bag I found the ticket stubs from the movie I went to last night. With Kenny.
I hadn't even thought about him all night while I was next to Michael, I didn't even think about him this morning while I told Michael I loved him.
I have to be the world's worst girlfriend. I mean honestly. Kenny is great, he does his best to make sure I'm happy, and I just prance off and go sleep with another guy.
Okay, that totally did not come out right.
I fell asleep, with another guy, the guy I actually love, not Kenny Showalter. Michael Moscovitz. And I can't even get up the guts to tell either one how I feel.
Unless they're asleep. And then I don't seem to have a problem.
THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR!
===================================================== =====================================================
Okay, now that you've read, you just have to __________. (You know the word).
(By the way, I'm not trying to make this like 15 chapter story... it just always ends up that way for me, I'll write something that's about 6 pages long, and its only supposed to be 2... so ... yea. I guess what I'm saying is hang in there, Michael and Mia will get together before the end.)