Back to boring Disclaimers. I only own, out of this entire chapter, Ensign Snodgrass and Fargo. Pretty sad, ain't it?
Chapter 3 In which we learn how important doctors really are
Scene 8
Narrator- Now we're on the bridge. Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu are present. Amazingly, McCoy is not there.
Spock- I fail to see what is amazing about the Doctor not being present.
Narrator- Because he's *always* here!
Spock- That is not true. If he were *always* here, he would be here now.
Narrator- Know what, just forget it.
Spock- Why should I forget?
Narrator- What I wouldn't give to be able to nerve-pinch people right now.
Kirk- Spock, just be quiet, Okay? (Spock doesn't say anything.) Spock? I want you to be quiet, Okay? (Spock still doesn't say anything.) Okay?!! Answer me!
Spock- You told me to be quiet, I can not answer you.
Kirk- Shhhhhhh. Be quiet, Okay? Okay?
Spock- Do you wish me to answer?
Kirk- Shhhhh! I said, are you going to be quiet?
Spock- Humans are most illogical.
Narrator- Suddenly, Chekov falls out of his chair.
Sulu- Chekov? You Okay? Are you unconscious?
Spock- If he was, it would be impossible to answer.
Sulu- We need to help him!
Uhura- Too bad Doctor McCoy isn't here.
Kirk- Yeah, seriously! If Chekov dies, it's going to be his fault! He's supposed to know when he's needed!
Sulu- Here, I'll look in my suitcase.
Narrator- Sulu grabs a suitcase that he *thinks* is his.
Sulu- (suspiciously) What do you mean, *thinks*? It's mine, isn't it?
Narrator- (hastily) Of course it is.
Chekov- Hey come on! Hurry up! I'm going to die here!
Uhura- I thought you were unconscious.
Chekov- Oh yes, I vas. (Shuts eyes)
Sulu- (opens bag) Hey! My bag happens to be filled with medical supplies. I don't remember packing them. Oh well. (grabs something out of the bag at
random) This should do the trick!
Chekov- Woah, vait a second! I'm not letting *him* operate on me!
Kirk- Too bad. You have no say in this.
Chekov- Zat's not fair! I should get to decide who operates on me!
Kirk- You can't decide! You're unconscious!
Chekov- Oh, yes. I keep forgetting. (shuts eyes)
Sulu- (looking at the thing he pulled out of the suitcase) Ummm... a little help?
Spock- That is a K-3 indicator. It measures neural activity.
Sulu- What do I need?
Spock- Perhaps we should call Doctor McCoy.
Sulu- No! I can do this! Just tell me what to do!
Spock- Captain, I believe we should call the doctor.
Sulu- (pouting) You never let me have any fun.
Kirk- Good. That's my job.
Uhura- I thought you were the Captain.
Kirk- Yeah, but I'm supposed to have all the fun. You guys are just supposed to do what I say.
Chekov- Since vhen?!
Uhura- I thought you were supposed to be unconscious!
Chekov- Oh yeah. I keep forgetting. (shuts eyes)
Sulu- (whining) But I want to have fun!
Spock- I fail to see how operating on a fellow crew member when you have no past medical experience thus putting him at great risk is fun.
Sulu- It just is!
Spock- That explanation is both insufficient and illogical.
McCoy- (comes into room) He's got you there, Sulu.
Chekov- Yes! A real doctor!
Uhura- You're supposed to be unconscious!
Chekov- Oh yeah. I forgot. (shuts eyes)
Uhura- (muttering to herself) He *forgot*! Sheesh! How can you forgot you're unconscious?
Sulu- No! I want to be the doctor!
Kirk- (massaging forehead)S pock, just nerve-pinch him, *please*!
McCoy- (raises eyebrows) Is violence the answer, Jim?
Kirk- And while you're at it, Mister Spock, nerve-pinch the doctor too.
McCoy- Hey! Lets not be too hasty!
Chekov- Don't forget about me! I don't vant to die!
Uhura- You're *supposed* to be unconscious!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch Chekov too. That way he really *will* be unconscious.
Chekov- Okay! I'll be unconscious now! (shuts eyes)
Narrator- No, no! This is all wrong!
Kirk- Mister Spock, nerve-pinch the narrator too!
Narrator- You can't do that! I'm the narrator!
PearlGirl- Okay, that's enough!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch the-
PearlGirl- I'm the Author. I'm in control of the script! I'm in control of you!! You can't nerve-pinch *me*!!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch everyone!!
Spock- Captain, that would not be wise.
Kirk- I don't care!! Nerve-pinch everyone on this bridge!! That is an order!
Spock- Yes, Captain.
Uhura- I'm getting out of here!
Narrator- In seconds, the bridge is clear of people. There is only Spock, Kirk and myself left.
Kirk- At last! A quiet bridge!
Spock- Do you wish me to nerve-pinch anyone?
Kirk- No. That won't be necessary.
Spock- I hope that Mister Chekov will get proper medical attention.
Kirk- I doubt he was even sick. He probably just felt like getting attention. Navigators don't get all that much attention.
Spock- Captain, would you like me to do some research into our current mission?
Kirk- What mission?
Spock- I believe we are supposed to find the current location of Fargo the Ferengi. He escaped from jail.
Kirk- Isn't Fargo a place in Texas somewhere?
Spock- It is a city in North Dakota.
Kirk- Oh. You can research if you *want* to. I wish it was a Klingon. They're much better at fighting.
Reviewers:
Sukuru- You're still alive! I thought that the evil monster often known as Homework had swallowed you whole! I'm struggling against its twin sister, Exams at the moment. McCoy was being clueless and since he was sure that it was Spock's suitcase, he was just as sure the letter was to Spock. Write more of the e-mail series!
Mzsnaz- I'm glad you apprectiate my randomness. So few people do, nowadays (sniff, sniff) Did you have any particular reason for picking that incredibly unique pen name?
The Doctor Is In- I'm glad you liked me having so much fun with Spocko. I enjoy it too. Did your name come from Doctor McCoy, or is it just random?
Empress Leia- Howdy. Darn it, I should have gotten my sister to edit that last chapter. I forgot. She's the only one out of the two of us who can spell anything. Wait, that's not true! I can spell my name! Go me!
Chapter 3 In which we learn how important doctors really are
Scene 8
Narrator- Now we're on the bridge. Kirk, Spock, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu are present. Amazingly, McCoy is not there.
Spock- I fail to see what is amazing about the Doctor not being present.
Narrator- Because he's *always* here!
Spock- That is not true. If he were *always* here, he would be here now.
Narrator- Know what, just forget it.
Spock- Why should I forget?
Narrator- What I wouldn't give to be able to nerve-pinch people right now.
Kirk- Spock, just be quiet, Okay? (Spock doesn't say anything.) Spock? I want you to be quiet, Okay? (Spock still doesn't say anything.) Okay?!! Answer me!
Spock- You told me to be quiet, I can not answer you.
Kirk- Shhhhhhh. Be quiet, Okay? Okay?
Spock- Do you wish me to answer?
Kirk- Shhhhh! I said, are you going to be quiet?
Spock- Humans are most illogical.
Narrator- Suddenly, Chekov falls out of his chair.
Sulu- Chekov? You Okay? Are you unconscious?
Spock- If he was, it would be impossible to answer.
Sulu- We need to help him!
Uhura- Too bad Doctor McCoy isn't here.
Kirk- Yeah, seriously! If Chekov dies, it's going to be his fault! He's supposed to know when he's needed!
Sulu- Here, I'll look in my suitcase.
Narrator- Sulu grabs a suitcase that he *thinks* is his.
Sulu- (suspiciously) What do you mean, *thinks*? It's mine, isn't it?
Narrator- (hastily) Of course it is.
Chekov- Hey come on! Hurry up! I'm going to die here!
Uhura- I thought you were unconscious.
Chekov- Oh yes, I vas. (Shuts eyes)
Sulu- (opens bag) Hey! My bag happens to be filled with medical supplies. I don't remember packing them. Oh well. (grabs something out of the bag at
random) This should do the trick!
Chekov- Woah, vait a second! I'm not letting *him* operate on me!
Kirk- Too bad. You have no say in this.
Chekov- Zat's not fair! I should get to decide who operates on me!
Kirk- You can't decide! You're unconscious!
Chekov- Oh, yes. I keep forgetting. (shuts eyes)
Sulu- (looking at the thing he pulled out of the suitcase) Ummm... a little help?
Spock- That is a K-3 indicator. It measures neural activity.
Sulu- What do I need?
Spock- Perhaps we should call Doctor McCoy.
Sulu- No! I can do this! Just tell me what to do!
Spock- Captain, I believe we should call the doctor.
Sulu- (pouting) You never let me have any fun.
Kirk- Good. That's my job.
Uhura- I thought you were the Captain.
Kirk- Yeah, but I'm supposed to have all the fun. You guys are just supposed to do what I say.
Chekov- Since vhen?!
Uhura- I thought you were supposed to be unconscious!
Chekov- Oh yeah. I keep forgetting. (shuts eyes)
Sulu- (whining) But I want to have fun!
Spock- I fail to see how operating on a fellow crew member when you have no past medical experience thus putting him at great risk is fun.
Sulu- It just is!
Spock- That explanation is both insufficient and illogical.
McCoy- (comes into room) He's got you there, Sulu.
Chekov- Yes! A real doctor!
Uhura- You're supposed to be unconscious!
Chekov- Oh yeah. I forgot. (shuts eyes)
Uhura- (muttering to herself) He *forgot*! Sheesh! How can you forgot you're unconscious?
Sulu- No! I want to be the doctor!
Kirk- (massaging forehead)S pock, just nerve-pinch him, *please*!
McCoy- (raises eyebrows) Is violence the answer, Jim?
Kirk- And while you're at it, Mister Spock, nerve-pinch the doctor too.
McCoy- Hey! Lets not be too hasty!
Chekov- Don't forget about me! I don't vant to die!
Uhura- You're *supposed* to be unconscious!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch Chekov too. That way he really *will* be unconscious.
Chekov- Okay! I'll be unconscious now! (shuts eyes)
Narrator- No, no! This is all wrong!
Kirk- Mister Spock, nerve-pinch the narrator too!
Narrator- You can't do that! I'm the narrator!
PearlGirl- Okay, that's enough!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch the-
PearlGirl- I'm the Author. I'm in control of the script! I'm in control of you!! You can't nerve-pinch *me*!!
Kirk- Nerve-pinch everyone!!
Spock- Captain, that would not be wise.
Kirk- I don't care!! Nerve-pinch everyone on this bridge!! That is an order!
Spock- Yes, Captain.
Uhura- I'm getting out of here!
Narrator- In seconds, the bridge is clear of people. There is only Spock, Kirk and myself left.
Kirk- At last! A quiet bridge!
Spock- Do you wish me to nerve-pinch anyone?
Kirk- No. That won't be necessary.
Spock- I hope that Mister Chekov will get proper medical attention.
Kirk- I doubt he was even sick. He probably just felt like getting attention. Navigators don't get all that much attention.
Spock- Captain, would you like me to do some research into our current mission?
Kirk- What mission?
Spock- I believe we are supposed to find the current location of Fargo the Ferengi. He escaped from jail.
Kirk- Isn't Fargo a place in Texas somewhere?
Spock- It is a city in North Dakota.
Kirk- Oh. You can research if you *want* to. I wish it was a Klingon. They're much better at fighting.
Reviewers:
Sukuru- You're still alive! I thought that the evil monster often known as Homework had swallowed you whole! I'm struggling against its twin sister, Exams at the moment. McCoy was being clueless and since he was sure that it was Spock's suitcase, he was just as sure the letter was to Spock. Write more of the e-mail series!
Mzsnaz- I'm glad you apprectiate my randomness. So few people do, nowadays (sniff, sniff) Did you have any particular reason for picking that incredibly unique pen name?
The Doctor Is In- I'm glad you liked me having so much fun with Spocko. I enjoy it too. Did your name come from Doctor McCoy, or is it just random?
Empress Leia- Howdy. Darn it, I should have gotten my sister to edit that last chapter. I forgot. She's the only one out of the two of us who can spell anything. Wait, that's not true! I can spell my name! Go me!