DISCLAIMER I don't own Star Trek. Blah, blah
Chapter 4 In which Snodgrass acts extremely stupid
Scene 9
Narrator- Chekov and Sulu are in Chekov's room. Chekov is under the bed and Sulu is in the closet.
Chekov- Do you think he's done nerve-pinching people?
Sulu- There's no way to be sure. Listen; someone's coming!
Uhura- (knocking on the door) Hellloo?? Let me in!!
Chekov- (snickers) Not by the hair on my chiny-chin-chin!
Sulu- You have hair on your chin?
Uhura- Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll disintegrate your room with this phaser!
Chekov- Okay, okay! (opens door)
Uhura- What are you doing?
Sulu- Hiding from Mister Vulcan.
Uhura- I'm sure he's done nerve-pinching by now.
Scene 10
Narrator- Ensign...... Don't tell me!! It's Schmodgrass, right?
Snodgrass- No. It's Snodgrass.
Narrator- Close enough. Now Ensign.... Snodgrass! Well, he's sneaking down the hallway.
Snodgrass- (muttering) I've got to be careful. I heard that a vulture got loose and he's pinching people. No, maybe it was a volcano that is getting on people's nerves? Oh, I forget. All I know is that I'm wearing a red shirt. I need to be careful.
Narrator- Ensign Whatever suddenly collides with a Ferengi, who is also sneaking around the ship. For a different reason, though.
Fargo- Hello. I am an honest merchant.
Snodgrass- I thought the script said you were an evil Ferengi.
Fargo- No, no. I am a Ferengi, but not evil. I am Fargo, the honest merchant.
Snodgrass- Isn't Fargo a city in Texas?
UBP- (from backstage) No! It's in North Dakota! Sheesh!
Snodgrass- Sorry. I'm just an ensign with a forgettable name.
Fargo- (eyeing Snodgrass's phaser) Can I have your phaser?
Snodgrass- Sure.
Fargo- (thinking) I didn't know ensigns were so stupid.
Snodgrass- It doesn't work anyway. I got somebody's broken one, because I was too afraid to carry around a fully operational phaser. I mean, I'm a red-shirted ensign! It'd be very dangerous!
Fargo- For you, or for everyone else?
Snodgrass- For me! Well, I suppose it'd be dangerous for everyone else on this ship too.
Fargo- Oh. Okay. Do you know where the phasers are?
Snodgrass- How should I know? I'm just an ensign! Why do you want to know?
Fargo- (hastily) No reason. (looks around) Well, see... I'm really an escaped Ferengi prisoner. But it's a secret. Don't tell anyone.
Snodgrass- Okay.
Fargo- Can you tell me where Captain Kirk's room is?
Snodgrass- Errrrrrrr... I think it's over there. (waves hand vaguely down the hall) Got to
go!
Narrator- Ensign..... Snodgrass! I did it! Go me!!! (does a little victory dance) Yeah!
Snodgrass- Can we get back to the point?
Narrator- Oh, yeah. Ensign.... Oh no! I forgot it!
Snodgrass- (sighs) It's Ensign Snodgrass! Why do people keep forgetting?
Narrator- Anyway, he continues down the hall. Then he enters a room and lies down on
the bed.
Snodgrass- Gosh, I'm tired. Being an ensign is exhausting! Wait. Is this my room? (looks around) Hmmm... Is it? Is this mine? (goes over to dresser, where he sees lots of jewelry and make-up) I don't think this is my room, is it? (He starts to walk out, then trips over something on the floor. It's a brown leather suitcase) Is this mine? I think so. How did it get in here? (opens bag) What's with all the clothes? Did I bring clothes? Did the fairy came again and replace my Russian artifacts with clothes?
Narrator- The ensign goes back to his room with the bag.
Scene 11
Narrator- Later on the bridge at night, we find a Ferengi sneaking around.
Fargo- I don't know why I'm sneaking! They're aren't any guards!
Snodgrass- Zzzzzz. Snorrre! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Fargo- Gosh! He snores loudly! What's his name? Ensign...?
Snodgrass- (in his sleep) It's Ensign Snodgrass! Zzzzzzz. Why does snoorrrre, everyone always forget it?
Fargo- Oh yeah. Anyway, you just go to sleep.
Snodgrass- I am zzzzzz asleep. Wait! Zzzzzzz. Do people who are snoooore asleep know that they're asleep?
Fargo- I don't know.
Snodgrass- Okay. Just zzzzzz wondering.
Fargo- (quietly) I just want to find some valuables. I'm sure the Captain has *something* of value of his suitcase. He wouldn't have something like letters from his mom.
Narrator- Fargo comes across a brown leather suitcase.
Fargo- What do you know! How lucky of me! This must be the Captain's!
Narrator- He opens it and finds medical stuff.
Fargo- Huh? What's with this? I don't want medical stuff!
Narrator- He throws the bag- WAIT!
Fargo- (stops in mid-throw) What?
Narrator- Throw it *gently*! It's got fragile stuff in it!
Fargo- (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah, whatever. (gently tosses the bag across the room)
(CRASH!!)
Narrator- Good GOING!
Fargo- Hey! It's not *my* fault!
Narrator- You threw the bag, didn't you?! I hope it's not broken!
Fargo- Come on! The props are so lousy that a feather could break them! (Suddenly a feather comes floating down from the ceiling. It lands on the Helmsmen's control panel)
(THUD!!)
Narrator- Wow! Look at that dent! It looks like an elephant sat on it!
Snodgrass- (waking up) Zzzzzz. Hmm? Oh! I fell asleep, didn't I?
Narrator- Fargo quickly ducks out of sight. He doesn't want-
Fargo- (kicks Narrator)
Narrator- Okay! I wasn't going to say anything!
Snodgrass- What are you talking about?
Narrator- Nothing!!
Snodgrass- (sees bag) Hey look! My bag! It keeps showing up in the weirdest places, don't you think? It has to be my bag, right? (looks in) Now it has medical stuff! Do you think the fairy did this?
Narrator- (sarcastically) I have no idea.
Snodgrass- I guess it's mine. (leaves with bag)
Narrator- Fargo is still in his hiding place.
Fargo- I'd better go find the Captain's valuables. But first, I need a place to spend the night. (sees a hole in the side of Uhura's station) This should do the trick!
Narrator- Fargo gets in the hole and falls asleep.
Joy to the world, I got some reviews. It makes... me so.... happeeee. So please review agaaain. If you liked my storreee, and even if you didn't, and even if you didn't, and EVEN, EVEN if youu did...not.. (goes sort of to the tune of Joy to the World)
REVIEWERS:
Stephanie- Glad you liked the story. I'll try to remember that. water changes to vahter. Got it.
Mzsnaz- Hello, Mrs. Snaz. Kirk just told Spock he could stop nerve-pinching as soon as everyone left the bridge. But now everyone is hiding in their rooms, because they think there's a nerve-pinching Vulcan running insanely around the ship. I reviewed your one with Little Spock and the Rolling Stones. That was good.
Sukuru- I HAAAATE homework. What's GCSE? We have to take the MEAP. I don't even know what they STAND for!! (It's Michigan Educational Assessment Program!! ~Alania) They're stupid math, science and history tests. I'm so happy you're going to use my idea for E-mailing series. I just randomly thought of it while I was shoveling my sidewalk.
The Doctor Is In- Oh, the Lucy in Charlie Brown is SO FUNNY!! I love her little stand where she tries to give people help. Hee hee. You just shattered earth with those thoughts! I had never considered them. Oh well, this is a random story, right? I guess that's answer enough to any question.
Chapter 4 In which Snodgrass acts extremely stupid
Scene 9
Narrator- Chekov and Sulu are in Chekov's room. Chekov is under the bed and Sulu is in the closet.
Chekov- Do you think he's done nerve-pinching people?
Sulu- There's no way to be sure. Listen; someone's coming!
Uhura- (knocking on the door) Hellloo?? Let me in!!
Chekov- (snickers) Not by the hair on my chiny-chin-chin!
Sulu- You have hair on your chin?
Uhura- Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll disintegrate your room with this phaser!
Chekov- Okay, okay! (opens door)
Uhura- What are you doing?
Sulu- Hiding from Mister Vulcan.
Uhura- I'm sure he's done nerve-pinching by now.
Scene 10
Narrator- Ensign...... Don't tell me!! It's Schmodgrass, right?
Snodgrass- No. It's Snodgrass.
Narrator- Close enough. Now Ensign.... Snodgrass! Well, he's sneaking down the hallway.
Snodgrass- (muttering) I've got to be careful. I heard that a vulture got loose and he's pinching people. No, maybe it was a volcano that is getting on people's nerves? Oh, I forget. All I know is that I'm wearing a red shirt. I need to be careful.
Narrator- Ensign Whatever suddenly collides with a Ferengi, who is also sneaking around the ship. For a different reason, though.
Fargo- Hello. I am an honest merchant.
Snodgrass- I thought the script said you were an evil Ferengi.
Fargo- No, no. I am a Ferengi, but not evil. I am Fargo, the honest merchant.
Snodgrass- Isn't Fargo a city in Texas?
UBP- (from backstage) No! It's in North Dakota! Sheesh!
Snodgrass- Sorry. I'm just an ensign with a forgettable name.
Fargo- (eyeing Snodgrass's phaser) Can I have your phaser?
Snodgrass- Sure.
Fargo- (thinking) I didn't know ensigns were so stupid.
Snodgrass- It doesn't work anyway. I got somebody's broken one, because I was too afraid to carry around a fully operational phaser. I mean, I'm a red-shirted ensign! It'd be very dangerous!
Fargo- For you, or for everyone else?
Snodgrass- For me! Well, I suppose it'd be dangerous for everyone else on this ship too.
Fargo- Oh. Okay. Do you know where the phasers are?
Snodgrass- How should I know? I'm just an ensign! Why do you want to know?
Fargo- (hastily) No reason. (looks around) Well, see... I'm really an escaped Ferengi prisoner. But it's a secret. Don't tell anyone.
Snodgrass- Okay.
Fargo- Can you tell me where Captain Kirk's room is?
Snodgrass- Errrrrrrr... I think it's over there. (waves hand vaguely down the hall) Got to
go!
Narrator- Ensign..... Snodgrass! I did it! Go me!!! (does a little victory dance) Yeah!
Snodgrass- Can we get back to the point?
Narrator- Oh, yeah. Ensign.... Oh no! I forgot it!
Snodgrass- (sighs) It's Ensign Snodgrass! Why do people keep forgetting?
Narrator- Anyway, he continues down the hall. Then he enters a room and lies down on
the bed.
Snodgrass- Gosh, I'm tired. Being an ensign is exhausting! Wait. Is this my room? (looks around) Hmmm... Is it? Is this mine? (goes over to dresser, where he sees lots of jewelry and make-up) I don't think this is my room, is it? (He starts to walk out, then trips over something on the floor. It's a brown leather suitcase) Is this mine? I think so. How did it get in here? (opens bag) What's with all the clothes? Did I bring clothes? Did the fairy came again and replace my Russian artifacts with clothes?
Narrator- The ensign goes back to his room with the bag.
Scene 11
Narrator- Later on the bridge at night, we find a Ferengi sneaking around.
Fargo- I don't know why I'm sneaking! They're aren't any guards!
Snodgrass- Zzzzzz. Snorrre! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Fargo- Gosh! He snores loudly! What's his name? Ensign...?
Snodgrass- (in his sleep) It's Ensign Snodgrass! Zzzzzzz. Why does snoorrrre, everyone always forget it?
Fargo- Oh yeah. Anyway, you just go to sleep.
Snodgrass- I am zzzzzz asleep. Wait! Zzzzzzz. Do people who are snoooore asleep know that they're asleep?
Fargo- I don't know.
Snodgrass- Okay. Just zzzzzz wondering.
Fargo- (quietly) I just want to find some valuables. I'm sure the Captain has *something* of value of his suitcase. He wouldn't have something like letters from his mom.
Narrator- Fargo comes across a brown leather suitcase.
Fargo- What do you know! How lucky of me! This must be the Captain's!
Narrator- He opens it and finds medical stuff.
Fargo- Huh? What's with this? I don't want medical stuff!
Narrator- He throws the bag- WAIT!
Fargo- (stops in mid-throw) What?
Narrator- Throw it *gently*! It's got fragile stuff in it!
Fargo- (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah, whatever. (gently tosses the bag across the room)
(CRASH!!)
Narrator- Good GOING!
Fargo- Hey! It's not *my* fault!
Narrator- You threw the bag, didn't you?! I hope it's not broken!
Fargo- Come on! The props are so lousy that a feather could break them! (Suddenly a feather comes floating down from the ceiling. It lands on the Helmsmen's control panel)
(THUD!!)
Narrator- Wow! Look at that dent! It looks like an elephant sat on it!
Snodgrass- (waking up) Zzzzzz. Hmm? Oh! I fell asleep, didn't I?
Narrator- Fargo quickly ducks out of sight. He doesn't want-
Fargo- (kicks Narrator)
Narrator- Okay! I wasn't going to say anything!
Snodgrass- What are you talking about?
Narrator- Nothing!!
Snodgrass- (sees bag) Hey look! My bag! It keeps showing up in the weirdest places, don't you think? It has to be my bag, right? (looks in) Now it has medical stuff! Do you think the fairy did this?
Narrator- (sarcastically) I have no idea.
Snodgrass- I guess it's mine. (leaves with bag)
Narrator- Fargo is still in his hiding place.
Fargo- I'd better go find the Captain's valuables. But first, I need a place to spend the night. (sees a hole in the side of Uhura's station) This should do the trick!
Narrator- Fargo gets in the hole and falls asleep.
Joy to the world, I got some reviews. It makes... me so.... happeeee. So please review agaaain. If you liked my storreee, and even if you didn't, and even if you didn't, and EVEN, EVEN if youu did...not.. (goes sort of to the tune of Joy to the World)
REVIEWERS:
Stephanie- Glad you liked the story. I'll try to remember that. water changes to vahter. Got it.
Mzsnaz- Hello, Mrs. Snaz. Kirk just told Spock he could stop nerve-pinching as soon as everyone left the bridge. But now everyone is hiding in their rooms, because they think there's a nerve-pinching Vulcan running insanely around the ship. I reviewed your one with Little Spock and the Rolling Stones. That was good.
Sukuru- I HAAAATE homework. What's GCSE? We have to take the MEAP. I don't even know what they STAND for!! (It's Michigan Educational Assessment Program!! ~Alania) They're stupid math, science and history tests. I'm so happy you're going to use my idea for E-mailing series. I just randomly thought of it while I was shoveling my sidewalk.
The Doctor Is In- Oh, the Lucy in Charlie Brown is SO FUNNY!! I love her little stand where she tries to give people help. Hee hee. You just shattered earth with those thoughts! I had never considered them. Oh well, this is a random story, right? I guess that's answer enough to any question.