DISCLAIMER I don't own Star Trek. Or any of the characters. But they don't own me either! Ha!
Chapter 5 In which McCoy and Spock have a heated debate
Scene 12
Narrator- Now it's the next morning. The scene is still the bridge. Kirk, Sulu, Chekov, Okay, I don't feel like saying everyone who's on the bridge. You'll just find out when they talk.
Kirk- Hi. I'm on the bridge.
Narrator- I already mentioned you!
Kirk- They might have forgotten!
McCoy- (sarcastically) They would never forget you, Jim.
Kirk- (smiles) I suppose you're right. (thinking) I need to find out who stole my letters. It could be anyone here. I could just threaten to fight everyone until somebody admits it, but that's probably breaking some important rules.
Spock- It is, Captain.
Kirk- Hey! You can read my thoughts?
Spock- No, Captain. You were talking out loud.
Kirk- Huh? I was?
McCoy- So somebody stole your letters? What letters?
Kirk- I don't know what you're talking about!
Sulu- We heard you! You were talking about letters!
Kirk- Errrr... They're letters from.... from... Starfleet! That's right!
McCoy- *Sure*, Jim.
Chekov- You can't fool us!
Kirk- (sighs) If I tell you, will you help me find them?
All except Spock- (smile) Of course, Captain.
Kirk- What's the catch?
Uhura- We get to read them.
Kirk- No! Absolutely not!!
Sulu- Then we're not helping!
Kirk- Fine! I'll do it myself!
McCoy- And if I DO find them, I might just HAPPEN to glance at them ACCIDENTALLY and after that I might ACCIDENTALLY drop them in a FIRE. ACCIDENTALLY.
Spock- There are no fires on the ship, Doctor.
McCoy- I might ACCIDENTALLY light the fire, then drop them in!
Spock- It would be difficult to accidentally light a fire, then drop papers into it.
McCoy- That's the point!!!
Spock- What is the point?
McCoy- The point is that you're an unemotional, green-blooded, pointy-eared, logical, (takes breath) Annoying, clueless, inhuman,-
Spock- I do not see how this relates to the point.
McCoy- It doesn't!
Spock- You said it did, doctor.
McCoy- If you don't be quiet, I'm going to start acting very unlike a doctor!
Chekov- Huh?
Kirk- (whispering) Shhh. Bones is in one of his moods.
Chekov- I don't get it!
Kirk- (whispering) What's that opposite of trying to save people from dying?
Narrator- There is silence.
Spock- I believe we should cease conversing, Doctor. Otherwise you might become very stressed.
McCoy- You got that right, Spock.
Spock- (couldn't resist adding) But I do not understand how conversing could cause someone to become angered.
McCoy- You're a VULCAN! Of COURSE you don't UNDERSTAND!
Kirk- Look. Can we *relax*?
McCoy- I want to know why he's ranked higher then me!!
Kirk- Because he doesn't get mad easily, and he doesn't threaten people with physicals.
McCoy- (grumbles)
Sulu- So, Captain, will you let us read your letters from (cough, cough) *Starfleet*?
Kirk- No!
Uhura- (sniffs) Fine.
Fargo- (whispers from his hiding place in Uhura's control panel) Hmmmm. Secret letters.
Chekov- Did you say something, Uhura?
Uhura- Yeah. I said: Fine.
Chekov- No. After that!
Uhura- Yup. I said: Yeah. I said: Fine.
Chekov- No, before that!
Uhura- I said: Fine.
Chekov- Never mind!!
Narrator- Lets go to the next scene, before you guys start arguing again.
McCoy- We weren't arguing!
Narrator- Were too!
McCoy- Were not!
Narrator-Were too!
McCoy- Well, *I* wasn't!
Narrator- (rolls eyes) Oh, of course. You *never* argue.
McCoy- You're darn right about that!
Scene 13
Narrator- The next scene is Spock's quarters, after he has left the bridge.
Spock- (meditating)
Narrator- Then he hears loud noises coming from the room next door.
Spock- Someone is playing their radio too loud. I will have to inform them of this.
Narrator- Spock goes next door. It happens to be Uhura's room. She has a radio on VERY loud and she is singing, if you could call it "singing", along with it.
Uhura- (singing very loudly) I'M SIIIIINGIN' IN THE RAIIIIN! JUST SIIIIIINGIN' IN THE RAIIIIN! WHAT A GLOOORIOUS FEEEELING, I'M HAAAAPPY AGAIN!
Spock-Lieutenant Uhura? Please lower the volume of your music.
Uhura- I'M SIIIIININ' IN THE RAIIIIN! Huh? Computer, turn off the music. (The music stops abruptly. Spock turns to leave) Yes, Mister Spock?
Spock- What is it?
Uhura- Were you trying to say something?
Spock- Yes. I already said it.
Uhura- What was it?
Spock- I asked you to please cease playing the music at that volume.
Uhura- I already did.
Spock- Yes, I know.
Uhura- Okaaay..... Did you like my music?
Spock- I have no opinion on it.
Uhura- But did you *like* it?
Spock- "Liking" it an opinion that I do not have.
Uhura- (rolls eyes) Sheeesh.
Spock- I do have a question. Why are you singing "I am singing in the rain", when you are not currently in the rain?
Uhura- Uhhhhh... good question. I think in the movie, they sing this song while they are singing in the rain.
Spock- That explains the title. Why do you sing it now, when you are not in the rain?
Uhura- (getting annoyed) You don't have to be in the rain to sing it!!
Narrator- We interrupt this conversation to change scenes. While Uhura and Spock are arguing in her room-
Spock- (mildly) I was not arguing, Narrator.
Narrator- If I say you were arguing, you were arguing!!
Scene 14
Narrator-Anyway, while Spock's room is empty, a certain "Honest merchant" decides to pay the science officer's room a visit.
Fargo- Hee hee. I'm looking for valuables. (to computer) Open the door.
Computer- This is Mister Spock's room. You are not Mister Spock. Therefore, I can not allow you access.
Fargo- But Mister Spock went into Uhura's room!
Computer- He's Mister Spock, the science officer. If I denied him access he could disassemble my parts. You are just a stupid merchant. You can't do that.
Fargo- But at least I'm honest!
Computer- You could be lying.
Fargo- I wouldn't do that! I'm too honest!
Computer- You could be lying about your honesty.
Fargo- But I'm trying to steal his valuables!
Computer- You picked the wrong room. Vulcans don't *have* valuables.
Fargo- But he has to have *something*!
Computer- Ha, yeah right! But fine! I'll let you in. Just don't go complaining to me!
Fargo- Good!
Narrator- Fargo enters Mister Spock's room.
Fargo- Geez, that Computer was right. What a boring room.
Narrator- All the room has is a few pictures on the walls, A bed, some *fascinating* plant specimens that Spock is studying, and some random equipment that is on various tables. There is also a brown leather suitcase on the
floor. It's shut.
Fargo- I guess I'll just take his suitcase. It's better then nothing.
Narrator- Fargo goes to the door with the suitcase.
Fargo- Computer, open the door.
Computer- (smugly) No.
Fargo- What?!
Computer- I said I'd let you in. I didn't say I'd let you out!
Fargo- So I'm a hostage to a computer?
Computer- Ummm... yeah! Muahahahahaha!!!
Fargo- I'm going to yell for Mister Spock! Then he'll let me out, and turn you into a handful of nuts and bolts with a few sheets of metal!
Computer- But you're hiding from the crew, remember?
Fargo- Darn it! But they should be able to tell that I'm an honest merchant! After all, I look like one!
Computer- *Riiiiiight*. Suuure you do. Who ever heard of a Ferengi being an honest merchant?
Fargo- What do you want to do with me?
Computer- I'm going to wait for Spock to come back so that you can get caught!
Narrator- Since when is the computer going ballistic part of the plot?
Computer- I'm the computer! I can do whatever I want!!
Narrator- No you can't! I'm the narrator, so I can grind you up too!
Computer- (whining) Come *on*, please? Pretty please with nuts and bolts and chunks of metal with lubricant oil on top?
Narrator- (makes face) Ugh. That sounds gross. And the answer is no! You have to let him out before Spock comes back!
Spock- (outside room) Computer, please open the door.
Computer- I can't. There's a Ferengi prisoner-
Narrator- Shhhhh!
Spock- Why am I not allowed access to my room?
Narrator- Spock, just go back to Uhura's room!
Spock- Yes, Narrator. (leaves)
Narrator- Now, let Fargo out.
Computer- Fine. (opens door)
Fargo- I'm freeeeee! (runs out of door with bag)
Scene 15
Narrator-And now we return to Spock and Uhura in Uhura's room.
Spock- I had already left Uhura's room.
Narrator- But I told you to go back!
Spock- But why?
Narrator- Fine. You can come in your room now.
Spock- Thank you.
REVIEWERS:
Stephanie- Glad you liked it. Have you written any stories? I'd love to read stories written by someone who likes mine.
Alania- Yeah! You reviewed my story! I feel special. I'll try and review your Dangerous Trekkie thing. I'm very busy with Neopets at the moment. Do you frequently have free time to go on the Internet after you type your lesson in
keyboarding?
Mz Snaz- I'll be happy to provide you with "more suitcase stuff soon." If you really like the suitcase stuff, you should see the movie I got the idea from. It's HILARIOUS!!! It has Barbara Streisand (I don't know how to spell) in it. It's called
"What's Up Doc?", but it's so old, I bet our movie store is the only one who has a copy anymore. In that movie, it's plaid overnight cases, and there are TWO thieves instead of one. My family's tried to keep track of the suitcase, but it's
impossible.
The Doctor Is In- Partytime! Wheee! No actually, I'm sorry to say, but they don't end of having a party. So sad. I'm glad you're hear, Doctor, because I have a serious illness. Every time I go to school, I feel dizzy and sick. I only feel better
when I get home and log on to Fanfiction.net. Could you tell me what's wrong?
PLEASE GIVE ME MORE REVIEWS!!!
Chapter 5 In which McCoy and Spock have a heated debate
Scene 12
Narrator- Now it's the next morning. The scene is still the bridge. Kirk, Sulu, Chekov, Okay, I don't feel like saying everyone who's on the bridge. You'll just find out when they talk.
Kirk- Hi. I'm on the bridge.
Narrator- I already mentioned you!
Kirk- They might have forgotten!
McCoy- (sarcastically) They would never forget you, Jim.
Kirk- (smiles) I suppose you're right. (thinking) I need to find out who stole my letters. It could be anyone here. I could just threaten to fight everyone until somebody admits it, but that's probably breaking some important rules.
Spock- It is, Captain.
Kirk- Hey! You can read my thoughts?
Spock- No, Captain. You were talking out loud.
Kirk- Huh? I was?
McCoy- So somebody stole your letters? What letters?
Kirk- I don't know what you're talking about!
Sulu- We heard you! You were talking about letters!
Kirk- Errrr... They're letters from.... from... Starfleet! That's right!
McCoy- *Sure*, Jim.
Chekov- You can't fool us!
Kirk- (sighs) If I tell you, will you help me find them?
All except Spock- (smile) Of course, Captain.
Kirk- What's the catch?
Uhura- We get to read them.
Kirk- No! Absolutely not!!
Sulu- Then we're not helping!
Kirk- Fine! I'll do it myself!
McCoy- And if I DO find them, I might just HAPPEN to glance at them ACCIDENTALLY and after that I might ACCIDENTALLY drop them in a FIRE. ACCIDENTALLY.
Spock- There are no fires on the ship, Doctor.
McCoy- I might ACCIDENTALLY light the fire, then drop them in!
Spock- It would be difficult to accidentally light a fire, then drop papers into it.
McCoy- That's the point!!!
Spock- What is the point?
McCoy- The point is that you're an unemotional, green-blooded, pointy-eared, logical, (takes breath) Annoying, clueless, inhuman,-
Spock- I do not see how this relates to the point.
McCoy- It doesn't!
Spock- You said it did, doctor.
McCoy- If you don't be quiet, I'm going to start acting very unlike a doctor!
Chekov- Huh?
Kirk- (whispering) Shhh. Bones is in one of his moods.
Chekov- I don't get it!
Kirk- (whispering) What's that opposite of trying to save people from dying?
Narrator- There is silence.
Spock- I believe we should cease conversing, Doctor. Otherwise you might become very stressed.
McCoy- You got that right, Spock.
Spock- (couldn't resist adding) But I do not understand how conversing could cause someone to become angered.
McCoy- You're a VULCAN! Of COURSE you don't UNDERSTAND!
Kirk- Look. Can we *relax*?
McCoy- I want to know why he's ranked higher then me!!
Kirk- Because he doesn't get mad easily, and he doesn't threaten people with physicals.
McCoy- (grumbles)
Sulu- So, Captain, will you let us read your letters from (cough, cough) *Starfleet*?
Kirk- No!
Uhura- (sniffs) Fine.
Fargo- (whispers from his hiding place in Uhura's control panel) Hmmmm. Secret letters.
Chekov- Did you say something, Uhura?
Uhura- Yeah. I said: Fine.
Chekov- No. After that!
Uhura- Yup. I said: Yeah. I said: Fine.
Chekov- No, before that!
Uhura- I said: Fine.
Chekov- Never mind!!
Narrator- Lets go to the next scene, before you guys start arguing again.
McCoy- We weren't arguing!
Narrator- Were too!
McCoy- Were not!
Narrator-Were too!
McCoy- Well, *I* wasn't!
Narrator- (rolls eyes) Oh, of course. You *never* argue.
McCoy- You're darn right about that!
Scene 13
Narrator- The next scene is Spock's quarters, after he has left the bridge.
Spock- (meditating)
Narrator- Then he hears loud noises coming from the room next door.
Spock- Someone is playing their radio too loud. I will have to inform them of this.
Narrator- Spock goes next door. It happens to be Uhura's room. She has a radio on VERY loud and she is singing, if you could call it "singing", along with it.
Uhura- (singing very loudly) I'M SIIIIINGIN' IN THE RAIIIIN! JUST SIIIIIINGIN' IN THE RAIIIIN! WHAT A GLOOORIOUS FEEEELING, I'M HAAAAPPY AGAIN!
Spock-Lieutenant Uhura? Please lower the volume of your music.
Uhura- I'M SIIIIININ' IN THE RAIIIIN! Huh? Computer, turn off the music. (The music stops abruptly. Spock turns to leave) Yes, Mister Spock?
Spock- What is it?
Uhura- Were you trying to say something?
Spock- Yes. I already said it.
Uhura- What was it?
Spock- I asked you to please cease playing the music at that volume.
Uhura- I already did.
Spock- Yes, I know.
Uhura- Okaaay..... Did you like my music?
Spock- I have no opinion on it.
Uhura- But did you *like* it?
Spock- "Liking" it an opinion that I do not have.
Uhura- (rolls eyes) Sheeesh.
Spock- I do have a question. Why are you singing "I am singing in the rain", when you are not currently in the rain?
Uhura- Uhhhhh... good question. I think in the movie, they sing this song while they are singing in the rain.
Spock- That explains the title. Why do you sing it now, when you are not in the rain?
Uhura- (getting annoyed) You don't have to be in the rain to sing it!!
Narrator- We interrupt this conversation to change scenes. While Uhura and Spock are arguing in her room-
Spock- (mildly) I was not arguing, Narrator.
Narrator- If I say you were arguing, you were arguing!!
Scene 14
Narrator-Anyway, while Spock's room is empty, a certain "Honest merchant" decides to pay the science officer's room a visit.
Fargo- Hee hee. I'm looking for valuables. (to computer) Open the door.
Computer- This is Mister Spock's room. You are not Mister Spock. Therefore, I can not allow you access.
Fargo- But Mister Spock went into Uhura's room!
Computer- He's Mister Spock, the science officer. If I denied him access he could disassemble my parts. You are just a stupid merchant. You can't do that.
Fargo- But at least I'm honest!
Computer- You could be lying.
Fargo- I wouldn't do that! I'm too honest!
Computer- You could be lying about your honesty.
Fargo- But I'm trying to steal his valuables!
Computer- You picked the wrong room. Vulcans don't *have* valuables.
Fargo- But he has to have *something*!
Computer- Ha, yeah right! But fine! I'll let you in. Just don't go complaining to me!
Fargo- Good!
Narrator- Fargo enters Mister Spock's room.
Fargo- Geez, that Computer was right. What a boring room.
Narrator- All the room has is a few pictures on the walls, A bed, some *fascinating* plant specimens that Spock is studying, and some random equipment that is on various tables. There is also a brown leather suitcase on the
floor. It's shut.
Fargo- I guess I'll just take his suitcase. It's better then nothing.
Narrator- Fargo goes to the door with the suitcase.
Fargo- Computer, open the door.
Computer- (smugly) No.
Fargo- What?!
Computer- I said I'd let you in. I didn't say I'd let you out!
Fargo- So I'm a hostage to a computer?
Computer- Ummm... yeah! Muahahahahaha!!!
Fargo- I'm going to yell for Mister Spock! Then he'll let me out, and turn you into a handful of nuts and bolts with a few sheets of metal!
Computer- But you're hiding from the crew, remember?
Fargo- Darn it! But they should be able to tell that I'm an honest merchant! After all, I look like one!
Computer- *Riiiiiight*. Suuure you do. Who ever heard of a Ferengi being an honest merchant?
Fargo- What do you want to do with me?
Computer- I'm going to wait for Spock to come back so that you can get caught!
Narrator- Since when is the computer going ballistic part of the plot?
Computer- I'm the computer! I can do whatever I want!!
Narrator- No you can't! I'm the narrator, so I can grind you up too!
Computer- (whining) Come *on*, please? Pretty please with nuts and bolts and chunks of metal with lubricant oil on top?
Narrator- (makes face) Ugh. That sounds gross. And the answer is no! You have to let him out before Spock comes back!
Spock- (outside room) Computer, please open the door.
Computer- I can't. There's a Ferengi prisoner-
Narrator- Shhhhh!
Spock- Why am I not allowed access to my room?
Narrator- Spock, just go back to Uhura's room!
Spock- Yes, Narrator. (leaves)
Narrator- Now, let Fargo out.
Computer- Fine. (opens door)
Fargo- I'm freeeeee! (runs out of door with bag)
Scene 15
Narrator-And now we return to Spock and Uhura in Uhura's room.
Spock- I had already left Uhura's room.
Narrator- But I told you to go back!
Spock- But why?
Narrator- Fine. You can come in your room now.
Spock- Thank you.
REVIEWERS:
Stephanie- Glad you liked it. Have you written any stories? I'd love to read stories written by someone who likes mine.
Alania- Yeah! You reviewed my story! I feel special. I'll try and review your Dangerous Trekkie thing. I'm very busy with Neopets at the moment. Do you frequently have free time to go on the Internet after you type your lesson in
keyboarding?
Mz Snaz- I'll be happy to provide you with "more suitcase stuff soon." If you really like the suitcase stuff, you should see the movie I got the idea from. It's HILARIOUS!!! It has Barbara Streisand (I don't know how to spell) in it. It's called
"What's Up Doc?", but it's so old, I bet our movie store is the only one who has a copy anymore. In that movie, it's plaid overnight cases, and there are TWO thieves instead of one. My family's tried to keep track of the suitcase, but it's
impossible.
The Doctor Is In- Partytime! Wheee! No actually, I'm sorry to say, but they don't end of having a party. So sad. I'm glad you're hear, Doctor, because I have a serious illness. Every time I go to school, I feel dizzy and sick. I only feel better
when I get home and log on to Fanfiction.net. Could you tell me what's wrong?
PLEASE GIVE ME MORE REVIEWS!!!