Chapter 9
Tuplo and the other rulers of the Land of Light had been more than happy to agree to accommodate the refugees after discussing their plight with Calpurnia and SG1 and had insisted that their visitors stay overnight to enjoy their hospitality. Jonas had been especially pleased with the offer but, then, he had been growing increasingly reticent about returning to his home-world as he spent more time with his former colleagues.
Sam had quickly busied herself helping with preparations for the reception of the refugees and introducing Calpurnia to their old friends. Her teammates took the opportunity presented by her distraction to put their heads together.
"Well, she seems a lot better," Daniel observed, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. "But it's still only been a day and a half."
"Not very long, really," Jonas agreed, nodding.
"Indeed," was Teal'c's contribution. "One night free of symptoms does not mean she is entirely well."
Jack nodded faintly. "So, recommendations?"
"She seemed awfully eager to get back to Delphi before," Jonas noted.
"And here she is on a planet that doesn't guard it's Stargate," Jack finished for him, nodding faintly. "Okay. So we take turns keeping a discreet eye on her."
"It would be wise to mount a nocturnal watch over her as well," Teal'c suggested. "That is when her symptoms have been most pronounced."
Jack nodded faintly. "We'll take it in shifts. Jonas--"
"Uh, maybe I shouldn't..." he began, trailing off and flushing.
"Jonas?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I mean, she's known you guys a lot longer. I think it would freak her out less if she woke up and saw one of you sitting there." He shrugged. "You know."
Jack continued to stare at him for a moment but did not comment. "Fine. Then you can baby-sit during the day."
Daniel watched the two warily for a moment before moving to join Sam and the others. "Melocia, it's good to see you again," he greeted the young woman talking to Calpurnia.
"And you," she answered, smiling at him. "Calpurnia and I have just been discussing the eventual disposition of her people."
Tuplo smiled proudly, draping an arm around his daughter's shoulder. "Melocia has become a talented administrator. In time, I am sure she will make a fine leader to our people."
The girl colored and bowed her head. "I will do my best." She looked up at Calpurnia. "My father says you were prisoners of one of the false gods?"
"Lord Apollo, yes." She nodded faintly. "There were several thousand of us in the camps."
"And so few were rescued?" Melocia asked, her expression horrified. "I am so sorry."
"The Tau'ri recovered more than I would have considered possible," Calpurnia answered gravely. "And many more received a quick release from their sufferings during the escape."
Melocia paled. "That is... horrible."
"It is," Calpurnia agreed quietly.
Daniel bit his lower lip, regarding the girl uncertainly. Although Doctor Frasier and Doctor Mackenzie had both given her a clean bill of health, she still seemed to be in a mild state of shock. He made a mental note to discuss it with Janet on their return to Earth. Not that he could really blame the girl for being a little emotionally numb after years in a prison work-camp and an escape that had left several hundred of her fellow inmates dead. That was the kind of thing it took time to get over.
Daniel also noted that she seemed to have attached herself to Sam, never straying far from the other woman. It must have been a great source of comfort for her; the two had really bonded during SG1's short internment on Delphi. He was not surprised when, when supper arrived, Calpurnia settled herself next to Sam. The two quickly became deeply absorbed in quiet conversation. Jonas, sitting between Calpurnia and Jack, seemed to be attending to Jack's conversation with Teal'c, but he did so with a slight frown which deepened over time.
After the meal was over, he drew Daniel aside. "I don't think she's convinced that Apollo isn't a real god," he murmured.
Daniel's eyes widened. "You sure? 'Cause it looked to me like she was very eager to escape."
"I'm not saying she wasn't." Jonas shrugged. "Just that I'm not convinced that she still thinks he's a god."
"Hey, so long as she can distinguish between him and the good gods. She's going to be harmless here anyways."
"To us, maybe," Jonas allowed, frowning.
"I'll mention it to Jack."
"Thanks." He looked up as Sam spent a few moments talking to their hosts before slipping from the room.
"Well, that's my cue," Daniel told him, following.
Jonas sighed and nodded. It was late and he was tired, but not particularly interested in sleep, either, so he started in the other direction, slipping from the great hall into the cool night air.
"You seem much troubled, Jonas Quinn," Teal'c's voice noted a few moments later.
He shrugged, smiling over his shoulder at Teal'c for a moment before turning his attention to the stars. Sarah had been right; there were people up here, millions of them. It was a shame she had never gotten the chance to meet any. Not that all of them were worth meeting, but people like the Tau'ri or those of the Land of Light were very much worth coming to know, both as cultures and as individuals.
"Humans often subscribe to the belief that talking about an undesirable situation may make it more bearable," Teal'c noted.
"Sometimes," he agreed, sighing softly. "But you can't change what's already happened either and it would be pointless to try. Madness lies down that road."
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "May I inquire as to the nature of these past regrets?"
"I... uh..." Jonas shook his head faintly. "I'm sorry, Teal'c, but it's kind of private. Mostly I'm just upset about having to go back."
"No one at the SGC will force your departure."
"I know." Jonas smiled faintly. "But now that you have Daniel back, you don't really need me any more."
"There are numerous other SG teams."
"Wouldn't be the same. Besides, my people kind of need me. I helped make this mess. The least I can do is be responsible enough to clean it up."
"Redemption is an important matter, no matter how unpleasant."
"I used to have a friend... well, she was more than a friend, really," he admitted with a more genuine smile. "She always said that facing the music doesn't mean you have to dance to it."
"I see," Teal'c answered, though clearly he did not.
Jonas grinned. "It means that no matter how much you hate having a responsibility or obligation, that doesn't give you permission not to fulfill it."
"I see. Your friend is wise."
"Yes, she was," he agreed, nodding faintly.
"I am sorry," Teal'c said at his use of the word 'was'.
"She would have loved to meet you, Teal'c. She was always fascinated by the old myths, that there might be people up here. She always wanted to meet them."
"She sounds like an adventurous soul."
Jonas nodded. "She would have been great on an SG team."
"Then it is regrettable that she was never given a chance to join you among the Tau'ri."
"Yes, it is," he agreed, sighing softly. "Look, I'm going to get some rest now. Good night, Teal'c."
"Good night, Jonas Quinn."
***
Sam awoke with a start and had to stifle a scream at the sight of someone moving in the darkness just beyond her range of sight. Firmly reminding herself that she was not in hostile territory, she reached for her Zat.
"Bad dream, Carter?" a familiar voice murmured in the darkness.
"Sir?" she asked as O'Neill moved closer, stopping a few feet from the bed, one hand resting on his own Zat.
"Bad dream?" he repeated.
"Yeah, but... not a vision. I was dreaming of..." She paused, shaking her head. "Not important, sir. What are you doing in my room at this hour?"
"Just checking on you."
"What, Janet asked you to keep an eye on me?" she asked, startled and more than a little annoyed with her friend.
"No. We just decided--"
"We?"
"The other members of SG-1 and myself," he clarified. "We've been worried."
She sighed and closed her eyes, frustrated. "Sir, I'm fine. Janet's treatments are working. There's nothing wrong with me any more."
"You're still having nightmares," he pointed out reasonable, taking another step towards her. He stopped in his tracks as a shaft of moonlight illuminated the bed and the woman in it. "Nice toga."
Sam snorted softly. They had not come expecting to stay the night, and their guests had provided bedclothes. "Yours, too."
"Yeah, if I'd known you were going to wake up, I would have changed back into my clothes," he muttered, coloring.
She smiled faintly. "I'm fine, sir," she repeated.
"You're still having nightmares," he countered. "You told Janet you weren't."
"I didn't last night. And this was just a nightmare, not a vision," she informed him. "Sir, please..."
"What was it about?" he asked gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Come on, Carter. I need to know if you're still having visions. You know that."
She closed her eyes and nodded. "The Alpha site, Anubis' drone. Fighting it on my own... Can I please stop now?" she whispered, her voice breaking.
Jack winced. He had read her mission reports which, alone, painted a hellish picture of that day. But there was more to the experience than could be explained in a technical report of her attempts to fight the drone. There was the fact that most of the other workers on site, many close friends, had been slaughters. There was the fact that she had not known if her own father had survived. There was the total lack of certainty as to whether or not help would come...
"Baal," he whispered, bowing his head. "With me, it's always Baal."
"Sir?" She blinked, startled by the abrupt shift. If it had been one at all.
"When he captured me, tortured me. I wake up in cold sweats trying to figure out if I'm in my bed or his sarcophagus," he told her quietly. "Maybe once a week. You?"
"Once or twice," she agreed, nodding weakly. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know."
"Neither did I," he pointed out. "Huh, maybe I should let Hammond send the team to one of those communication in the work-place seminars..."
She smiled weakly in spite of herself. Awake and in his company, it was easy enough to forget, if not the dream itself, the stark terror it invoked. Holding a weapon helped, too...
"Okay, get some rest, Carter," he directed. "Janet will skin me alive if you come back looking less than perfect."
"Perfect's a lot to ask, sir."
"Hey, I've seen you do the impossible," he pointed out, shaking his head. "Perfect's not that much of a stretch. Just get some rest so I don't have to order you to," he ordered, rising and pulling his chair closer to her bed.
"Yes, sir."
She smiled and nodded, reclining against the large, fluffy pillows, sighing softly as she closed her eyes. Definitely one of the more comfortable off-world trips she had been on. Feasting, a warm bed, comfortable clothes, no one shooting at her or drugging her or possessing her... Eyes closed or not, comfortable or not, she could not sleep. Her thoughts were turbulent, and not just from her dreams. An earlier conversation with Calpurnia kept recurring to her.
"But if it is your destiny, if it truly be in your power to see such things, how can you fight it? Why? Why do you fight it?"
And, later: "How can you not be curious? How can the ability to see what may come be repulsive to you? Could you not do much good?"
Her eyes shot open and she stared at the ceiling, abruptly as unwilling to sleep as she was unable.
"Maybe you should take a sleeping pill?" Jack suggested gently.
She turned her head, staring at him in surprise. She had not realized that he was still there, let alone that he had known she was awake.
"I'm not sure that would help, sir."
"Huh," he said, rising and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "This is turning into a bad habit, Carter," he noted, wrapping his arms around her. "Now get some rest."
"Sir," she started, tensing slightly. Once was permissible. Twice... that started to be a problem.
"Just rest, Carter," he ordered. "You think I don't know what it's like to have nightmares? To not want to close your eyes because you know they'll start even before you're asleep?" he asked. "Sometimes it helps to know you aren't alone."
She nodded and leaned into him. "Thank you, sir."
He sighed softly and nodded. "Night, Carter."
She slept quickly after that, to Jack's relief, snuggling into his chest and mumbling contentedly. He knew what it was like, memories become nightmares, disturbing your sleep, making you anxious and irritable during the day. There were times when he could not help but wonder if that was really why his wife had left him, because of the dreams, the screaming in the night, the wild struggles that had accompanied dreams of fighting to save Charlie.
Eventually, those dreams had been replaced, by dreams of Abydos, Ra, a hundred other Gua'old. Friends and team-mates, men and women he had tried to save but could not. Probably, Carter suffered from many of those same dreams, remembering men and women she had been unable to save, whole worlds that they had not been able to make a difference for.
For him, at least, the near-misses were almost as bad. Like being stuck in the Antarctic, nearly losing Carter due to her stubborn refusal to flee, to try to save herself when he had been to injured to help either:
He ordered me to leave him, but I ultimately decided to stay. You don't leave anyone behind, no matter what the odds.
When they had been trying to destroy Apophis' mother-ship and he and Carter had been caught on opposite sides of that defense-shield. He had read her report, the delicacy with which she had justified his suicidal decision to stay.
The Colonel refused to leave me then. He's always preached to all of us that we never leave anyone behind.
That was the perennial excuse, for both of them. In the absence of a Zar-tac detector and the bitch on the other side of it, it was even enough. If Hammond saw more of a pattern in their reports than 'never leave anyone behind', he was kind enough to ignore it. Jack did his best to ignore it himself, as he was sure Sam did.
At least, he assumed that was why she had started dating. If that was what it could be called. Yes, she occasionally walked into briefings with that 'I got lucky last night' smirk on her face, but that did not change the fact that her boyfriend lived in Denver better than 95% of the time. Nor did it change the fact that Sam never seemed particularly upset by his frequent absences. It was nice to have him around, obviously, but his absences never distressed her, either. As far as he could tell, that did not really make it a relationship. In a relationship, you cared when your other was gone. Hell, most of the time, he regretted any separation of more than a few days from Sam. Not that he could ever comfortably admit it, at least not as things were now, but that did not change his feelings, either...
***
Sam yawned and stretched, careful not to wake the man sitting up next to her. He had spent hours sitting up next to her before finally falling asleep himself, she suspected, and she did not want to disturb him. Restless, she carefully disengaged herself from his arms and rose, dressing quickly and leaving the compound for a walk.
She was a little surprised to see a lone figure facing the rising sun, more surprised when she recognized her.
"Calpurnia?"
"Major," the girl greeted her, turning. "It's been so long since I have seen a sunrise," she explained, smiling.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Most lovely," Calpurnia agreed. "Will you walk with me, friend? There is a rise there where we may see the sunrise to greater advantage if you care to."
"I'd like that," Sam agreed, following her.
"Have you considered what we spoke of last night?" Calpurnia asked as they walked.
"Yes, but..." Sam shook her head. "I don't want this 'gift', Calpurnia. It's enough to drive you mad."
"Perhaps, but it is also the greatest honor Lord Apollo may bestow," Calpurnia noted. "I remember when the current Cybil was chosen from among the priestesses. She was most frightened, but also greatly pleased and most honored."
"Yeah, well, I haven't lived with a life-time of brainwashing, either."
"We have always been taught not to fight our destiny."
"Yeah, but there's a difference between destiny and between what some dictator with delusions of godhood thinks you should do."
"Yes, I suppose that must be the case. I certainly never saw myself here now. Once, I would have been happy to spend a life serving in Lord Apollo's household. Now, I understand that there is so much more that I am capable of."
"That's the spirit," Sam told her.
"Yet, still, you would resist your own opportunity to be more. Why?"
"I... I don't... I just don't like what I see."
"But if you can know the future, is it not in your power to change it? To defy the Fates and the gods?"
"Maybe," Sam agreed quietly. "I'm just not sure that it's necessarily. There are more ways to change a situation than facing it head-on."
"Then you chose flight?" Calpurnia asked. "A life of fear? Wondering when they will come for you?"
Sam opened her mouth to answer, then spun to face Calpurnia. "How did you know..." she began.
"My Lord knows all," Calpurnia answered simply, producing a Zat from her robes and firing it at Sam, who dropped immediately. "And he shares with the faithful what he must." Pulling a round communication's device from her robes, she spoke into it. "My Lady, I have her at this location. Pray, bring your Jaffa to retrieve her."
There was a long pause, then a beautiful face appeared and answered in a low voice, "You have done well, our dearest Calpurnia. Our Lord will be well-pleased with your efforts. My Jaffa come. Would you do more for your Lord and his Queen?"
"All is in your service, Lady Artemis. Anything you would have of me."
"Good girl. Your place as one of my handmaidens is assured. With only a little more work, you may become First among them. Does this appeal to you?"
"Greatly, my Lady."
"Very well. When the Jaffa come to retrieve our future host, you must resist, struggle to defend her."
"I do not understand..."
"In appearance only. When the Tau'ri find you, you must tell them of your struggles to protect your savior, the Major. And then you must tell them such of the truth as you must to insure their return to Delphi."
"As my Lady commands."
"Hide away your communications device and weapons now, child. Retrieve them later, when you may safely return to us. When the Tau'ri come, your place will be unsured."
"I understand," Calpurnia assured her, quickly hiding away both the Zat and the communication device in a nearby animal-burrow.
When the Jaffa arrived, she did as her Lady commanded, screaming roundly and allowing one to strike her face and body repeatedly before Zatting her. She slid to the ground, dazed and half-conscious as the Jaffa lifted Major Samantha Carter into a gurney they had brought and quickly bore her back towards the Stargate.