Kenshin Himura, Wandering Samurai

A/N: This is just a little idea that popped into my head last night before dinner, and I burst out laughing. I'm sorry for any inaccuracies, because I've only seen sixteen or seventeen episodes of Rurouni Kenshin. (Die, evil Cartoon Network! Die!) -------- Sorry for the outburst. -U I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or Cartoon Network. Oh, almost forgot: warning for yaoi and shounen-ai (Sano/Kenshin and Yahiko/Yutaro, respectively) and people being slightly OOC.

For the purposes of the story, Yutaro's come back from Germany for a while to visit them and Hiko's staying at the dojo for a while, too.

Here's the story.

Kenshin Himura was a wandering samurai. After being the feared Battosai during the Revolution, he'd given up his ways of killing people settled down in a dojo with a young woman named Kaoru, a kid named Yahiko-

"Wait a minute!," snapped Yahiko. "I'm not little! Don't call me little!"

Right then, a young man named Yahiko, and a very hot guy named Sanosuke whom Kenshin had a major crush on. However, such lodging was not free, and that is how this story begins:

"Kenshin!," called Kaoru, "Kenshin, get over here! You have to do the laundry!"

Kenshin, who had been amusing himself by sitting with his back to a tree and watching Sanosuke practice his fighting techniques, shook himself out of his daydreams to see if he'd heard correctly. Kaoru called him again, and started to walk towards him. Kenshin stood up, groaned softly, and tried to think of a way to get out of doing that infernal washing. It was, after all, the middle of winter. Not only was it too cold to sit outside doing laundry all day, but Sano was going to take him to the Akabeko later.

But wait. If Kenshin really was a wanderer, he could use that as his excuse. He didn't even have to leave the house at all. Was there any reason (besides an angry Kaoru, which is never a good thing) that Kenshin couldn't just wander around the house and see what everyone was doing?

'There's no reason, that there's not,' Kenshin thought to himself, and picked up the blanket he'd wrapped himself in when he was sitting down.

Kaoru was getting closer, and those standing very near her swore that they could see smoke rising out of her ears.

"Kenshin?," she inquired in a syrupy sweet voice, a sure sign that trouble was on the horizon.

"Yes, Miss Kaoru?," he replied.

"You have to do the laundry. It's piling up."

"But Miss Kaoru, I'm a wanderer, that I am. Can't I just wander?"

Normally, Kenshin would not care about his load of chores, but he had seen that pile of laundry. Most of it wasn't even that dirty. The fact remained, however, that it was a shitload of laundry, and even if he started it right now, at two in the afternoon, the poor little redhead wouldn't be finished until well after dark.

Kaoru was not amused. "No."

Kenshin whipped his head around. Yes, the coast was clear, the dojo was nearby, and Kaoru wasn't so close that she could tackle him from where she was standing.

'I might as well make a break for it, that I might,' he thought.

So, predictably, he made a break for it, quickly reaching the dojo and hurriedly shutting the door behind him. No one was there, although some of the doors were closed.

Outside, Kaoru balled her hands up into fists.

'Oooh, Kenshin is -so- going to get it,' she fumed, and then decided that she might as well change; after all, her kimono was now seriously dusty from all of the dirt that Kenshin had kicked up in his mad dash.

Meanwhile, inside, Kenshin had retreated to his small room and was sitting on his bed.

"I wonder why Sano's taking me to dinner, that I do. Perhaps he loves me as I love him," he mused to himself quietly.

Kaoru had gotten sidetracked by the resident adorable children, Ayame and Suzume, and after telling them a story about an adventure that Kenshin had once, which took all of forty-five minutes, she went to her room and changed.

By this time, Kenshin had already started wandering around. He had just come out of a room where students were being taught to fight with a sword, rubbing his head. The students were vicious! They hadn't recognized him, and he'd been knocked over the head by several practice swords. God, that one student had strong arms.

He noticed a closed door- Kaoru's room. He had always had a burning desire to see what was in that room, so he opened the door, and came face to face with...

...Kaoru in her underwear. They both shrieked very shrilly and quickly retreated. After about a minute, they went back to their original positions.

"How dare you!," Kaoru shouted, and smacked Kenshin across the face.

Kenshin's eyes bugged. "Orooo...?"

She smacked him again for good measure, shut the door, and left Kenshin in a rather twitchy little heap outside.

"Why do guys think they can just barge into girl's rooms uninvited?!," she fumed.

Five seconds later, her eyes widened, and she exclaimed to herself, "Wait! That was KENSHIN!"

Our dear little rurouni was just recovering when a pale, slightly muscled arm reached out from behind the door and grabbed him, pulling him inside the room.

There was silence for all of half a second, until a half-shirtless Kenshin ran from the room, oroing shrilly.

"ORO! Oro! Oro! Oro! Ooooroo!," he shrieked, buggy-eyed.

He used the godlike speed that was required for the Hiten-Mitsurugi style, but the effect was somewhat negated by the fact that Kenshin was shrieking "Oro!" and flailing his arms and legs around like a cat whose tail has just been set on fire. In fact, he was so intent on putting as much distance between himself and Kaoru as possible that he didn't look where he was going, and ran into a wall.

A wall that was blue, warm, and breathing.

"Well, if it isn't my lovely little idiot apprentice!," the wall said loudly. "What on earth scared you that much? You've mastered the Hiten-Mitsurugi style, you can do anything."

Kenshin looked up into Hiko Seijiro's face and squeaked, "Hello, Master."

"You didn't answer my question. You must be embarrassed. But hey, can't be as embarrassing as the time you got stuck in a tree and I had to rescue you. You were, what, ten? Eleven? And that time, two years ago, when you left your underwear at my house and it got put in one of my pots by accident, and sent to some government official?"

Ayame and Suzume, who were walking by, looked up.

"Uncle Keni got stuck in a tree? Ooh, tell us, tell us!,"Ayame giggled, clapping her hands.

"Yes, tell us!," Suzume repeated.

"Okay, girls," Hiko smirked. "It all started when my dear apprentice here was ten or eleven. He wasn't much shorter than he is now, but he decided to climb a tree one day..."

Kenshin walked away, blushing slightly. As much as he knew Hiko loved him, that man could just be so aggravating sometimes.

'That, I suppose, is why I chose Sano over Hiko. At least Sano won't tell embarrassing stories about me to everyone who looks at him. Even if we will have to work the rest of our lives to pay off that tab at the Akabeko,' Kenshin thought to himself, and giggled softly.

He wandered a little bit more, until he came upon the kitchen. Today, Megumi was helping with the cooking, a rare treat that made Kenshin almost want to postpone his trip to the Akabeko with Sanosuke.

"Hello there, Miss Megumi!," Kenshin smiled.

Megumi quickly stood up from where she'd been leaning over a pot and hid something behind her back.

"Hello there, Sir Ken! Nice morning, isn't it? Shouldn't you be doing chores?! Laundry, perhaps?," Megumi asked quickly.

"Ah, I'm trying not to be roped into doing chores, that I am, Miss Megumi," Kenshin replied with a nervous little laugh.

Megumi smiled at him, but she was acting as if she wanted him to leave.

Kenshin took the hint and began to walk out.

"I'll see you later, I hope?," Megumi said.

Kenshin turned around to reply, and saw what Megumi had been hiding behind her back- a new type of medicine that she'd been talking about testing out. He scurried away. Today was just too weird, and he'd changed his mind about wanting to stay around for dinner.

'I need to hide. Kaoru's after my blood, Hiko's no doubt after my body, which I wouldn't mind if I didn't like Sano, and Megumi's in need of a test subject. There is only one place to go, and that is Yahiko's room, that it is,' Kenshin thought to himself.

He walked around the dojo for a little bit, reveling in the small amount of freedom that he had, but soon, the small redhead heard footsteps, and Kaoru wondering where "that lazy Kenshin" was and that he "was so going to get it" when she found him.

"Oro!," Kenshin squeaked.

So much for leisurely walking. Kenshin ran like he'd never ran before, not even oroing once. That would have wasted breath. As he was running, he passed by a guest room and heard...giggling and rustling fabric?

Hoping that he wouldn't be blinded forever by what he thought he would find in that room (namely, two of his friends having sex), he slowly opened the door. Hey, the poor guy needed a hiding place.

He nearly burst out laughing at what he saw. Yahiko and Yutaro were cuddling together in Yahiko's bed, clothed, as Kenshin noted with a sigh of relief. Kenshin had to resist the urge to comment on the sheer cuteness of it all.

Yahiko, however, did have a few choice words to say. Kenshin's eyes widened in response as he wondered where the kid had learned that type of language, and Yutaro giggled.

"Mine," Yahiko muttered, and draped an arm possessively over Yutaro.

"That he is," Kenshin replied, and left quickly.

"I didn't get to hear him say oro," Yutaro sighed, and Yahiko gave him an extra hug.

Kenshin was almost regretting going on this little journey. He had uncovered a plot by Megumi to test a new medicine on everyone at the dojo, had been nearly molested by Kaoru, ran into Hiko, and backed up his theory about who Yahiko really liked. Well, half and half.

Also, he was lucky that he didn't run into Dr. Gensai boinking any of the waitresses from the Akabeko. In that case, Kenshin probably would have put his own eyes out, without any help from the rampaging Kaoru.

He could hear her footsteps again. Time to hide.

Kenshin looked around, suggestive of a frightened deer, almost, and finally got an idea:

'The bathroom!'

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. After all, Kaoru was on his tail, and it was imperative that she did not kill Kenshin, in his mind, until after he and Sano had gotten together and had sex at least once.

Finally, Kenshin got to the bathroom. He threw open the door, leaped in, and landed in the bath.

On someone's leg.

"Kenshin? What the hell?," Sano asked.

Kenshin blushed bright red, and explained, although with much stammering. He was so busy apologizing that he didn't see the grin spread across Sano's face as he realized his opportunities.

'Thank you, Kami-sama,' he thought.

Kenshin was also so busy apologizing that he didn't notice the two muscular arms snaking around his waist and pulling him closer until his head was resting on Sano's chest.

"Oro!," he squeaked, but it was a happy squeak.

"Ken, why are you wearing clothes in the bath?," Sano asked quietly.

Kenshin oroed again and turned an even brighter shade of red. Meanwhile, Sano was kicking himself mentally for going too fast.

Sano was so busy berating himself that he didn't see Kenshin slip out of his shirt, something that the former gangster would regret later.

When Sano did open his eyes, he was greeted with eye candy, and he said as much, which was followed by a kiss. He held Kenshin tenderly, but really, Sano was not the type to be uke, so he and Kenshin switched places. Now, the rurouni was the one leaning against the tub wall while Sano straddled his hips.

When Kenshin came up for air, however, Sano slipped, causing both men to fall to the bottom of the tub. After they righted themselves, Sano looked away, blushing.

"'m sorry, Kenshin," he mumbled.

Kenshin stared. "Sorry? Sanosuke Sagara, that is possibly the best kiss I've ever had. I love you, you know that, right?"

Sano grinned. "I'm glad to hear that, Kenshin."

"But," Kenshin said, struggling to look dignified while being mostly naked, sopping wet, and cuddled by a man with a rooster haircut, "let's wait to tell Kaoru, okay?"

Of course, right at that moment, Kaoru burst in.

"ORO!," shrieked Kenshin.

"Missy, what the hell?," Sano asked loudly at the same time.

Kaoru's mouth formed a perfect "O", and she dropped the wooden sword she'd been carrying.

"K-k-k-kenshin?!," she stammered.

But Kenshin and Sano were already drying themselves off.

"Missy!," Sano said. "You want to come to the Akabeko? We're getting beef hot pots."

"Sure," Kaoru replied shakily. "I'll just go and stop by Yahiko's room to see if he wants to come."

As she left, Kenshin and Sano exchanged glances and stifled their giggles. Sure enough, five minutes later...

"YAHIKO! What are you DOING with Yutaro?!"

Meowiegirl: I know, the ending sucks. Sorry.

Farfarello: No you're not. By the way, she doesn't own Weiss Kreuz.

Meowiegirl: Farf, go away.

Farfie: walks out and comes back in, wearing a pink tanktop, a leather miniskirt, and knee-high pink boots I'm about to hurt god. puts on a Britney Spears record and starts lip-synching

Kenshin: O.Ox Oro?

Sano: Let's get outta here, Ken-chan. It's not safe.

Meowiegirl: Dude, what are you doing?

Farfie: doing the Britney Spears slutdance Oh, baby, I'm a slaaaaaaaaave- Hm? Oh, I'm hurting god.

Meowiegirl: No, you're hurting my ears.

Farfie: Breaking this camera hurts god. breaks the camera

END