Chapter 12
She Who Remembers
Mother and daughter veeja were in deep conversation, stealing surreptitious glances at where Ayla was sleeping. Not wanting to eavesdrop, Thonolan nonetheless overheard snatches of their conversation.
"She must learn soon, no one can understand her. It's even hard for me, sometimes," Sela whispered, "I know she needs to, but if we force it to happen..."
"But if we don't do something, what good are we as watchers?"
Thonolan watched the two women and then turned toward his brother. Jondalar was busy cutting the deer meat into strips to dry. Though immersed in his task, he seemed somewhat aware of the invisible forces around him. Many times he came in and looked in on Ayla with concern. Thonolan was sure that he even glanced at the two women during the course of the night.
Finally, Malia stood up with a resolute expression. "The time is now." She gave a nod to Sela, who went over to sit by Thonolan.
"What's going on?" Thonolan asked.
"Shhh," Sela said with a finger to her lips.
Curious, he watched as Malia leaned over Ayla's restless body. Kneeling beside her, she placed her hands on the sides of Ayla's face. Leaning close, Sela pressed her forehead to her daughter's sleeping brow.
"My daughter..." Malia murmured.
She furrowed her brow trying to follow the riotous path Ayla's dreams were taking. A howling wind whistled outside, chasing cold air into the cave. Entranced, Thonolan watched the pair his jaw slacking in shock as he too began to see Ayla's dream.
The observation was not anything of his ability, but the power emanating from mother and daughter. Malia was pouring herself out in a way that was rarely possible, and rarely observed. The bond of maternal love was somehow reconnected albeit in an unconventional way.
"I said I'd be careful, Mother, but where did you go? Why didn't you come when I called you. I called and called, but you never came. Where have you been? Mother? Mother! Don't go away again! Stay here! Mother, wait for me! Don't leave me!" The words tore deeply into Malia and grief increased as she forced her daughter to turn to thoughts of the other woman. "Iza! Iza, help me! Please help me!"
"No one can understand you if you don't talk properly," Malia whispered.
Thonolan sensed another memory surfacing, and was surprised to see the mog-ur that had led him on his Clan journey.
"You must learn to talk, Ayla."
"How can I talk? I can't remember! Help me, Creb!"
The mother pressed her forehead closer, willing herself to continue. Ayla had to remember; perhaps she had to remember everything.
"Your totem is the Cave Lion, Ayla."
At the thought of a predator, instantly the dirk-toothed tiger came to the front. No, the cave lion, Malia thought and pushed the tiger aside. The creature turned into the cave lion she had encountered so long ago.
"No! No! I can't! I can't!"
Sela came over in concern, sensing the deep struggle and her mother's growing weariness. Laying her hands on Ayla she also willed her sister to remember.
Malia brought her daughter's early memories to the surface in one last attempt. If she didn't succeed, Ayla might not remember at all.
"I'll help you..." she choked out.
Ayla seemed to calm, and opened her dream filled eyes. She looked straight into her mother's face. All at once the knotted cord that held her long ago memories hidden from her, broke open.
"She remembers!" They shouted at once.
Giddy with relief, the women hugged each other. Sela put a steadying hand to her mother's weary form.
"She remembers some," Malia said with a tentative smile, "at least it's a start."
Thonolan watched as a flood of emotions filled Malia's features; joy, relief and grief.
"My daughters, look what my selfishness has done to us," Malia cried out in aguish.
"Mother! Motherrr!" Ayla's cry echoed around the cave.
Thonolan watched helplessly as Malia fled outside. He looked questioning at Sela. She shrugged and shook her head.
"She gets like this sometimes, it's something to do with our last journey. I never fully understood why we left so quickly and why her mate was upset."
"Did she ever tell you why?" Thonolan asked.
Sighing deeply, she shook her head and made to follow her mother. "I've tried many times, but she won't tell me. She thinks that because of what she's done, she's doomed her spirit, and possibly mine." Her mouth quirked in a semblance of a smile, "but I know that's not true. I think any wrong she's done before she has well made up for already."
"You're talking, Ayla. You're talking!" Jondalar exclaimed.
Turning his attention away from the retreating women, Thonolan grinned; enjoying the excitement his brother was experiencing. Whatever the problems of yesterday and today, he'd greet each as they came. He felt a faint calling from outside and left his brother's side.
The night was deep in color, punctuated with the tiny scattered stars from above. He spied the spirit trails of the two women, but decided that wasn't what brought him out.
A low moaning sound echoed nearby as a gust passed through, "secure the threads."
He turned his head and furrowed his eyebrows looking for the source. Suddenly, he found himself moving, up and over the valley, traveling southward with the wind.
(VOH pp. 411-412)
Rubber Duck, no worry on running out of story, almost all of my stories are written before I start posting them. So I've got plenty up my sleeve.
Thanks KatinkaV, I do try to fill in a few of the spaces Auel has left us.
She Who Remembers
Mother and daughter veeja were in deep conversation, stealing surreptitious glances at where Ayla was sleeping. Not wanting to eavesdrop, Thonolan nonetheless overheard snatches of their conversation.
"She must learn soon, no one can understand her. It's even hard for me, sometimes," Sela whispered, "I know she needs to, but if we force it to happen..."
"But if we don't do something, what good are we as watchers?"
Thonolan watched the two women and then turned toward his brother. Jondalar was busy cutting the deer meat into strips to dry. Though immersed in his task, he seemed somewhat aware of the invisible forces around him. Many times he came in and looked in on Ayla with concern. Thonolan was sure that he even glanced at the two women during the course of the night.
Finally, Malia stood up with a resolute expression. "The time is now." She gave a nod to Sela, who went over to sit by Thonolan.
"What's going on?" Thonolan asked.
"Shhh," Sela said with a finger to her lips.
Curious, he watched as Malia leaned over Ayla's restless body. Kneeling beside her, she placed her hands on the sides of Ayla's face. Leaning close, Sela pressed her forehead to her daughter's sleeping brow.
"My daughter..." Malia murmured.
She furrowed her brow trying to follow the riotous path Ayla's dreams were taking. A howling wind whistled outside, chasing cold air into the cave. Entranced, Thonolan watched the pair his jaw slacking in shock as he too began to see Ayla's dream.
The observation was not anything of his ability, but the power emanating from mother and daughter. Malia was pouring herself out in a way that was rarely possible, and rarely observed. The bond of maternal love was somehow reconnected albeit in an unconventional way.
"I said I'd be careful, Mother, but where did you go? Why didn't you come when I called you. I called and called, but you never came. Where have you been? Mother? Mother! Don't go away again! Stay here! Mother, wait for me! Don't leave me!" The words tore deeply into Malia and grief increased as she forced her daughter to turn to thoughts of the other woman. "Iza! Iza, help me! Please help me!"
"No one can understand you if you don't talk properly," Malia whispered.
Thonolan sensed another memory surfacing, and was surprised to see the mog-ur that had led him on his Clan journey.
"You must learn to talk, Ayla."
"How can I talk? I can't remember! Help me, Creb!"
The mother pressed her forehead closer, willing herself to continue. Ayla had to remember; perhaps she had to remember everything.
"Your totem is the Cave Lion, Ayla."
At the thought of a predator, instantly the dirk-toothed tiger came to the front. No, the cave lion, Malia thought and pushed the tiger aside. The creature turned into the cave lion she had encountered so long ago.
"No! No! I can't! I can't!"
Sela came over in concern, sensing the deep struggle and her mother's growing weariness. Laying her hands on Ayla she also willed her sister to remember.
Malia brought her daughter's early memories to the surface in one last attempt. If she didn't succeed, Ayla might not remember at all.
"I'll help you..." she choked out.
Ayla seemed to calm, and opened her dream filled eyes. She looked straight into her mother's face. All at once the knotted cord that held her long ago memories hidden from her, broke open.
"She remembers!" They shouted at once.
Giddy with relief, the women hugged each other. Sela put a steadying hand to her mother's weary form.
"She remembers some," Malia said with a tentative smile, "at least it's a start."
Thonolan watched as a flood of emotions filled Malia's features; joy, relief and grief.
"My daughters, look what my selfishness has done to us," Malia cried out in aguish.
"Mother! Motherrr!" Ayla's cry echoed around the cave.
Thonolan watched helplessly as Malia fled outside. He looked questioning at Sela. She shrugged and shook her head.
"She gets like this sometimes, it's something to do with our last journey. I never fully understood why we left so quickly and why her mate was upset."
"Did she ever tell you why?" Thonolan asked.
Sighing deeply, she shook her head and made to follow her mother. "I've tried many times, but she won't tell me. She thinks that because of what she's done, she's doomed her spirit, and possibly mine." Her mouth quirked in a semblance of a smile, "but I know that's not true. I think any wrong she's done before she has well made up for already."
"You're talking, Ayla. You're talking!" Jondalar exclaimed.
Turning his attention away from the retreating women, Thonolan grinned; enjoying the excitement his brother was experiencing. Whatever the problems of yesterday and today, he'd greet each as they came. He felt a faint calling from outside and left his brother's side.
The night was deep in color, punctuated with the tiny scattered stars from above. He spied the spirit trails of the two women, but decided that wasn't what brought him out.
A low moaning sound echoed nearby as a gust passed through, "secure the threads."
He turned his head and furrowed his eyebrows looking for the source. Suddenly, he found himself moving, up and over the valley, traveling southward with the wind.
(VOH pp. 411-412)
Rubber Duck, no worry on running out of story, almost all of my stories are written before I start posting them. So I've got plenty up my sleeve.
Thanks KatinkaV, I do try to fill in a few of the spaces Auel has left us.