To: weasleyisourking
From: padfootforever
Subject: Plan A
Okay, here's the plan. We hack into his account and we send e-mails to Hermione that she won't like so she thinks Voldemort has a funny way of showing his love to her or something. Then, when he uses his account to send her e-mails, she won't be interested!
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To: padfootforever
From: weasleyisourking
Subject: Re: Plan A
Great! So how do we hack into his account?
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To: weasleyisourking
From: padfootforever
Subject: Re: Plan A
I have no idea.
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To: weasleyisourking
From: mugglehunting@hpmail.com
Subject: Guess who
Hey, Ron, never guess who this is?!
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To: mugglehunting
From: weasleyisourking
Subject: Leave Hermione ALONE!
If this is You-Know-Who I'm telling you now Ð LEAVE HERMIONE ALONE! I love Hermione and what you feel is just ... just ... How do I know what you're feeling, you're a psychotic mass murderer! But you're not in love; I know that!
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To: weasleyisourking
From: mugglehunting
Subject: It's Harry!
Ron, relax, it's me Harry!
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To: mugglehunting
From: weasleyisourking
Subject: Re: It's Harry!
What are you on about? I knew that! It was obvious!
Anyway, where did you get that address? What's with the hpmail.com?
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To: weasleyisourking
From: mugglehunting
Subject: Re: It's Harry
Oh, it's a website about me :(
Anyway, since neither of us know how to hack into Voldemort's account, I've created this address which I can tell Hermione is his. If she asks about the hpmail I'll say ... I'll say it stands for hairy people because I'm a hairy person! I know she's clever but if she figures it out I'll throw her off the scent, don't worry!
Right, Voldemort's going to send her some e-mail now!
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To: houseelvesrppl2
From: mugglehunting
Subject: Sorry
Attachment: Curse1.jpg
Hermione, my darling, it's me, Voldie.
I was thrilled with you agreeing to meet me at the Hog's Head, but I'm afraid I've had to make a change of plans. I have a meeting at the Mudblood's Head in Knockturn Alley with my faithful Death Eaters.
Anyway, to show you how sorry I am that I wasn't able to meet you I've sent you a curse. Don't open it my darling, I don't want you to get hurt, but you can send it to Harry Potter or someone other nasty person who should be dead by now.
All my love,
Voldie
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