Learning to Trust

by Lady Healer

She wanted to be free. To escape the torture that was her life. She never imaged that she would land in another world. Can she learned to trust again after a life of pain?

7. Chapter 7: Swords and memories

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Hazelhorse: Thanks! And it was the full tale of Tinuviel.

LalaithoftheBruinen: I'd hope you enjoy the chapter!

And I would like to thank Phoenix for all the help she gave me during this chapter.

Note.

Anything * written within these marks* is being spoken in Elvish.

And now I let you read, but please remember to review!

            Enjoy!

                                    -Lady Healer.

Chapter 7: Swords and memories.

Three days after Elrohir had left with his brothers to do some scouting, Lillian walked to the garden where Prince Legolas asked her to meet him. She was dressed in plain black trousers and a silver tunic, as requested, and her dark hair was pulled back in a simple braid.

She sighed. The people here were so confusing. Since her arrival here, they had been nothing but kind. And now she was being sent on a quest that would most likely lead to her death.

Lillian frowned at the memory. When she had first been informed of the quest, she had believed that it was her hosts' way of getting rid of her. But the former servant wasn't so sure now. The elves' kindness hadn't dimmed, like she expected it too. If they were indeed hiding their true intentions, they would have shed the role of caregivers by now. Wouldn't they?

But what did they hope to gain? It puzzled her. These high raking nobles insisted on treating her as an equal. It had been so long since she was treated like a real person as oppose to a mindless slave. The last time she could remember was when she was six and those memories were hazy at best.

Reaching an old tree in the garden she sat down at the base to wait for Prince Legolas's arrival. She was early, and so couldn't be punished for tardiness. That is, if they punished such things. Looking up at the beautiful morning sky, Lillian frowned as her thoughts continued about this strange race.

These, elves. Their rules were different here; a very profound concept to be summed up in a simple sentence. It wasn't the only difference either. In fact, it seemed that almost everything was different here. The very air that surrounded this place was a warm feeling, a sense of safety. And that very presence gave her a sense of freedom for the first time after her blood father' condemnation.

And the people here encouraged that. Every since she had woken up in Rivendell, they had been nothing but kind, especially Elrohir. Shaking her head, Lillian smiled fondly at the thought of the dark haired elf as her fingers plucked at the green grass around her.

The son of Elrond was the first person she met in this strange world. He was also the first person that made every attempt to get her to laugh, to open up, to be herself, even at his own expense. Many people would have looked down at him in her world for his actions, and perhaps in this world as well. She did not know.

He cared not, however. Every time she felt scared, he had reassured her. Like he did after the council. It was he who had explained to her why she was being sent on the quest. And though she didn't quite believe his reasons, it did help her set her mind at ease. If only a little bit.

Elrohir was curious about her past. It was one of the few things that showed clearly through his manner. Yet, he did not push her for answers, not truly. He just stated that if she ever needed a friend, then he would listen.

Friends. That was something that was very rare for her. At her blood father's home she had only three true friends. A tear fell from Lillian's eye at the thought of those dear souls.

Rena had protected her until she was killed. And Liz, her second friend who became like a sister to her and who had taught her all she knew about healing. Even if it was just a little. Every servant in her blood father's home was required to know at least the basics of emollient if you wanted to live. The nobles would not waste the time or resources for them.

Liz had been executed when Lillian was sixteen as punishment for speaking against the King. The only one left alive was Galen. All the other servants were too afraid to form friendships with others. And Lillian could understand why.

"Hello, Lady Lillian. Are you ready?" a voice asked. Shaken out of her thoughts, Lillian settled her gaze on her hands, nodded and stood up. A day ago, Prince Legolas informed her that he was going to begin training her to in defense, once proper clothing was made. Lillian didn't understand why he would waste the time and energy to teach a servant to do so. But since the beginning, Lillian didn't comprehend what caused the these nobles to treat servants like equals, yet they did…

Legolas sighed softly, knowing that a wall still kept her from speaking before others. And part of that wall dealt with his nobility. He would find a way around that barrier; but it would take precious time.  "Follow me please." And with that he lead Lillian to the training grounds. She watched her footing as the prince lead her farther into the garden. He carried a long satchel on his back and though she was curious, refrained from asking about it.

"We are almost to the practice area, Lady," Legolas said. The former servant barely kept herself from watching his face. Instead, she chewed on her lip and listened to the far off waterfalls. "Today we begin your training. And the first thing you must learn," he tilted her chin up, "is to watch your opponent." Legolas watched her as Lillian waged an inner struggle. It was plain to see in her eyes that the bonds of her world still held fast. Minutes later, her glaze locked onto his ear and Legolas sighed. He wasn't quite sure how to break that habit of hers. And it needed to be broken, quickly. "Lady Lillian," Legolas said softly. "You need to look into my eyes. The eyes of your opponent can tell you many things about them, how they think, how they move."

Lillian kept her vigil on his ear and Legolas could feel a headache begin. And elves did not get headaches. It would have to be another day before her habits were broken. For now, she must learn some form of defense or she would die in the first battle they came across.

"Very well, Lady Lillian. If you do not feel comfortable looking into my eyes then let us work on something else." Reaching for the satchel on his back, Legolas continued, "I'm going to start you on some basic sword training." And as Legolas pulled out a simple but elegant sword from the satchel, Lillian froze, forgetting at the moment that she was not in her world. Failing to remember her surroundings or that this was merely a training session, as she stared at the sword.

A noble was offering her a sword.

Horror and fear gripped her as she stumbled back pleading, "No ... no ... Please don't." Legolas's confused face and concerned look did not register in her mind as she continued to stumble backwards. Nor did the elf's caring words. Lillian was trapped in her own mind; in memories from when she was a child of nine years.

********************Flashback******************

The servants had been called to the arena. They were not sure why, but everyone had an ominous feeling about what was to occur. Lillian was walking beside Liz, a woman in her late twenties with graying brown hair. It was only two hours since she dropped the plates in the dinning hall, and the child hoped that Rena was all right.

Before she could continue with her thoughts, the dim sunlight from outside fluttered over her face as the crowd of servants exited the dark corridor. The nobles were already seated in the upper benches, a few sat with Kalin in the King's private box. A cruel murmur ran through the aristocracy, as the 'king' stood. "My fellow Nobles," he shouted. "We have gathered here to bare witness to the execution of this most lowly of traitors to the crown. She has maliciously destroyed the property of her Lord Master!" The roar of the crowd was defining as Rena was led into the center of the arena. Once at the center of the stadium she was release and a sword was thrown to her feet. When the roar of the crowd lowered, Kalin continued with his speech. "This servant shall fight one of my personal guards to the death. If, by chance, should she win, she will be given her freedom." With a signal from the 'king,' Rena's opponent was lead in. Within minutes the battle of survival had begun.

"NO," Lillian cried, tears falling from her eyes in a flood. At hearing her friend's scream of pain she shouted, "RENA!"

Turning the struggle child towards her Liz whispered hoarsely, "Quiet, young one. You will only draw unwanted attention." The girl sobbed as she ended her struggle and the crowd cheered.

"It not fair… She didn't…deserve this…" Rubbing Lillian's back in soothing circles, a tear fell down Liz's own cheek.

"No, she didn't, but the nobles don't care and the few who do are to afraid to do anything about it."

"What if they knew that he wasn't the true…" the girl began many minutes later.

"Don't finish that thought, Lillian!" Liz interrupted sharply. "If 'he' discovered that you were aware of your birth right he would kill you on the spot." Rubbing her back again, she continued softly, "You have to wait, child. The time will come; you will claim what is yours and put things to rights." Still holding onto the small child, Liz walked with the rest of the servants, as they were shepherded back inside. "There has to be."

**************************

Pushing the memory back, Lillian did the only thing her fear-stricken mind would allow.

She ran.

Legolas watched her leave the garden, his bewildered mind still trying to piece together what had happened. What could cause her to react that way to a sword? A thought occurred to him then. He knew from Elrohir that she had lead a life that was based along the lines of slavery. Was an event from her past the cause of such a reaction to a sword, even when offered hilt first?

Quickly, Legolas raced after the fleeing girl, leaving his sword to drop on the ground. Thanks to Elven speed, he caught up to her, grabbing her wrist. Lillian clawed at him in an attempt to flee. But her malnourished body did not have the strength. As he tightened his grip, the sickening sensation of bone just below the skin made his own flesh crawl. It also set him against the crazed fear in the human girl.

Half frustrated, and one quarter calm, Legolas grasped her face in both hands and all but jerked her head up near his own. With determination, he forced Lillian's red eyes to meet his and began to speak the first thing that came to his mind.

"*Live with a light heart, and with glad memories of me;
for I cherish your name, and love your face.
We will yet again meet, and you shall stand with me.
Around your neck will be woven many garlands of sweet rose and violets;
and soft winds that whisper in dewed groves.
No thing holy or dark shall part us;
Even as I leave now to battle. *"

It was a poem he had once read in his father's library during an idle morning. But now, he was glad for the words that fell smoothly from his lips. The human's frantic struggles had ceased. Instead her eyes drifted half shut as she listened to the ancient language. But when he stopped and the spell was broken, Lillian stiffened, turning her face away.

Legolas allowed himself a small sigh, but let go of her face. After a couple moments of silence, he asked, "What caused you to react so to a sword, Lady Lillian?" And as minutes passed it became clear to Legolas that she meant not to tell him. Sighing again Legolas mumbled, "Lillian, I cannot help you if you do not tell me what happened."

Lowering her head, Lillian replied bitterly, "Nobles don't help servants, my Lord."

"Lady, tell me what happened to trigger such alarm," Legolas said firmly. When she made no sign of doing such he added the last part to his command. "Now."

And so, slowly and reluctantly, Lillian told him the events of her childhood. From the beginning of the punishments dealing with the sword to the fact that the servants were later used for the nobles' sporting arenas. And she spared no details, her head lowered and her eyes downcast.

And because her eyes were fixed on her folded hands, she did not see the horror that had entered the prince's eyes. Nor did she see his anger. Two hours later, after he had escorted Lillian back to her rooms, Legolas walked purposely to Lord Elrond's study. Lillian was not going on the quest of the One Ring. She was not meant to, and he was going to make sure the Lord of Imladris understood that.

*******************

It only took the Prince of Mirkwood minutes to arrive at Elrond's study, but during that time he had pooled any knowledge he could use in the argument ahead. And an argument it would be, of that Legolas had no doubt. Though they both would have to choose their words with care. Being from two different kingdoms, politics alone would demand that, friends of old or not.

Sharply, Legolas knocked on the wooden door, waiting for the signal to enter. Rarely, had the younger elf disagreed with the wisdom of the Lord of Rivendell, and thus he stayed silent at the council. Believing that there had to be a reason why Elrond had sent Lillian on the quest with them.

And when Lillian ran from the meeting, he believed that it was from shock and fear, that, perhaps she was not informed of the decision before hand. He couldn't blame her for such action. The rest of the members volunteered, she was chosen. But he believed that she would be all right, as long as she was trained to defend herself, before the fellowship left. After all, she had about the same amount of fighting experience as the hobbits.

But the events of a few hours ago changed his mind. The hobbits, unlike Lillian, didn't have the emotional scars to go with their lack of training. The child needed to stay where she was safe and have the proper time to heal. The quest could not give her that.
"Enter." Elrond's voice cut through his thoughts.

 Quickly, Legolas stepped inside and was glad to note that the Elven-Lord was alone. Bowing once, as custom demanded, Legolas spoke. "My lord, I wish to speak on the matter of Lady Lillian." Looking at the prince calmly with his brown eyes, Elrond gestured towards a chair.

"Would you like to have a seat, Prince Legolas?" Lightly frowning, Legolas took the offered chair. He remained silent, knowing that control of the conversation was in the other elf's hands.

Leaning back in his seat, the Elven-lord of Rivendell folded his hands asking, "Of what concerning Lady Lillian do you wish to speak on?"

"I do not believe she should be part of the Fellowship." Legolas replied simply.

Elrond withheld the sigh the tried to escape him. Many times, many people had come to him to discuss the same matter. The half-elven understood that his decision brought doubt to many, but he was certain of his choice. "Why do you feel this way?"

Carefully, Legolas thought of his response, unsure to speak of the events in the gardens. It should be Lillian's decision to tell whom she wished. He wasn't sure if letting others know would aid her or harm her healing. It could have either effect. Thinking for a moment, Legolas decided. He would remain silent for now, and seek Elrohir's advice. He knew her the best of them all, and would have a better understanding of how to handle the situation.

But Legolas also knew that might not be an option. The Elven-lord of Rivendell was certain about sending the girl on the quest. And if he could not convince Elrond without revealing Lillian's reaction in the garden, then he might have too. She could not go on the journey.

Locking his blue eyes with Elrond's brown, Legolas answered, "There are many reasons, my lord, why I do not believe that Lady Lillian should be part of the Fellowship." He paused a moment, studying the other elf and thinking of the best way to present his argument. "I shall start at the beginning." Tapping his fingers lightly on the armchair, the younger elf continued, "The quest of the Fellowship is the destruction of the one ring, which is the problem of Middle-Earth, as you, yourself, said at the council. Lady Lillian, though, is not of this world. She is from the lands of Lindreal. And as such, the fate of the one ring or even Middle-Earth is not her concern. You had no right to volunteer her without her consent."

Elrond studied the Elven-Prince with calculating eyes. The son of Thranduil indeed. There was more to this meeting than what was said, for had the prince rejected to his decision at the council, they would have spoken much earlier than this. No, the Lord decided, something had happened to sway the young elf's mind.

Nodding, the Elven-lord said, "That is very true, Legolas Thranduilion, however I have reason to believe that it was by the will of the Valar that she was sent here. And, by such, it is her destiny to travel with the Fellowship to see the destruction of the one ring." A silence stretched between the two. The eldest watching while the younger pondered his answer. The thought that the Valar had sent Lillian had crossed Legolas' mind many times since he discovered her origin. Though he had not thought of the reason behind it.

"Perhaps the Valar means for her to heal." Legolas replied.

Again, Elrond nodded as he countered, "Perhaps. That is highly possible. However, why would they send her to this point in time if they intended for her to only heal from past scars? And if that was the case, then why intervene after the Lady attempted suicide?" The Lord of Imladris paused, allowing the younger elf to think before adding, "No, I believe this a sign that she was meant to travel on this path."

Again, Legolas pondered on the words of Elrond. He could see the wisdom behind it, and knew that the elder elf did not make his choice hastily. But the young prince could still clearly see Lillian's stricken face in his mind, and feel his, distaste, at sending such a person on a dangerous quest. And once more, the prince of Mirkwood pulled his thoughts together, preparing for the arguments that would come, if he was going to have a chance at dissuading the elder's mind. Legolas decided to start with the simple arguments first.

"She is just a child."

"But an adult among the Atani." Elrond countered with ease.

"She may be an adult in Men's terms…"Legolas started to say, a stern note in his voice, "but she has a child's understanding of this world."

Elrond leaned back in his chair as he replied, "She will learn as she travels."

"She has only begun to recover."

The lord of Rivendell raised his eyebrow, amused. That argument may have worked on a different elf, but not on him. He knew his charge's healing state better than anyone. "Lady Lillian's physical wounds are fully healed. Unfortunately, mental and emotional scars are beyond my ability to erase. The only one who can heal those, is Lady Lillian herself."

Legolas was positive the healing argument was not going to change the Elven-lord's mind, but he knew that he had to review all points possible. "Even if she is fully healed, she is still in poor health." Elrond nodded in agreement.

"It is true, she is in a terrible physical state, but not dangerously so. Lady Lillian's health is improving by the day, the hobbits enjoy 'teaching her to eat' at their meals." The Lord of Rivendell paused briefly before continuing, "Even in her condition, she could travel. By the time the Fellowship leaves Rivendell, Lady Lillian's will have improved greatly in contrast to her first arrival."

"Lady Lillian does not trust anyone, and that will be of utmost importance if we are to succeed." Legolas argued.

"Yet, she will learn to trust, she has already begun to do so." Elrond countered. "I expect the dwarf, Gimili son of Gloin, shall cause you more trouble."

The Elven-prince felt his frustrations rise. He knew that this conversation would not be easy. But for every argument he gave, Elrond already had an answer. Legolas now understood why Elrond's children were so well versed debates, they had to argue against their father.

Thinking about Lillian past actions, Legolas made his next point. "The laws of her world have a fast grip on her. And as of yet, the only one to succeed in passing them is Elrohir. Those rules will put unnecessary strain on the fellowship."

"But time will pass and she will begin to trust and when she does she will learn that she can break those rules. In the end, it will not be a strain that forms, but a bond." Replied Elrond calmly.

"She will be a burden," said the prince of Mirkwood.

"No more than the hobbits," the lord of Imladris countered.

 If the direction of this conversation continued, Legolas would have to reveal his knowledge of Lillian's past. Something, he did not wish to do. "She has no skills to offer the Fellowship."

The Elven-lord shook his head, and replied, "She does have a skill to offer, Prince Legolas." Elrond smile at Legolas curious look before smile, "She has at least a basic knowledge of healing, perhaps more."

"How do you know this?" asked Legolas.

"After she woke, I found many times that her wounds had already been treated before I came to check them," answered Elrond.

"Perhaps, Elrohir or another had treated her," countered Legolas. Again the elder shook his head.

"I have already made certain of this. And though the work was not the best; given the material she had to work with, she did a remarkable job."

 Once more, Legolas paused to think. He had one more argument to try before revealing Lillian's past, but he already knew that it would be countered. "She cannot fight."

"She can learn to fight," came the expected reply.

"The past haunts her. It kept her from learning the skill of the sword this afternoon." Legolas replied, calmly, wishing that he did not have to do this.

Elrond's eyes narrowed as he questioned, "How did it stop her from learning?"

And so Legolas explained the event in the garden. Throughout the tale, the Lord of Rivendell's expression changed from surprise to anger to sadness. And silence descended on the two elves after Legolas finished the tale, both lost in their own thoughts.

"She will have to learn a different weapon," Elrond stated firmly some minutes later.

Looking at the elder elf in surprise, Legolas exclaimed, "How can you still send her on the quest with such knowledge? She needs to be here, where she will have the time to heal!"

Calmly Elrond stared at the younger elf before he replied. "Staying here will not help her, Legolas, son of Thranduil. Yes, here she would have time to heal and she would be safe. However, she would not face her past, her fears, and without doing that, she will never truly heal. The scars would just be left to fester. On the quest she would be force to confront them, which in the end, will allow the wounds to close."

Raising a hand, Elrond stopped Legolas from interrupting. "I am not cold hearted, Prince. But the knowledge you have given me has strengthened my resolve." Pausing for a moment, the lord of Rivendell chose his next words with care. "Has it occurred to you that Lillian may not only be here to aid the Fellowship, or to heal, but rather she was brought here to gain the strength to end the corruption in her world? And that strength she may find only on the quest."

Again silence stretched between the two elves. Legolas had not thought of that option before. He didn't believe that Lillian should go on the quest, but Elrond's wisdom rang true. He would have to think a little more before he continued his argument.
Rising to his feet, Legolas bowed, saying, "Thank you for the council, my lord."

"You are welcome, Prince Legolas." And with the conversation ended, the prince of Mirkwood left the room.

********************

And during the next four days: Legolas continued arguing with the Lord of Rivendell, and the hobbits got to know their female companion.

It was a peaceful day when Lillian, dressed in a plain blue gown, was eating second breakfast with the four young hobbits from the Shire. The hobbits were grinning and laughing as they retold events from their past to the relaxed human.

"You should have seen Frodo," Pippin said as he continued with the story. "He walked around all morning with little braids and pink bows in his hair."

Chuckling, Merry added, "He didn't notice until afternoon tea when Bilbo complemented him on his appearance!"

Snorting, Frodo cut in. "I'll have you know that day forever scared me!"

"Of course cousin, I suppose that's why you exacted revenge with the help of Pippin's younger sisters."

Lillian listened with interest. She found it amazing to listen to these small beings. With every moment she spent with them, she was reminded ever more of children. For the past few days, the hobbits told her of their lives and homes. Samwise Gamgee, Sam as he would rather be called, told her of many different types of plants and what was and was not good for cooking. And the other three hobbits were telling her of pranks they had pulled on each other through out the years.

"I only suggested to them that you two would like to play with them…" Frodo said, laughing.

"Knowing full well that they would want to play dress up." Merry interrupted, before he turned towards Lillian to explain. "They conned us into playing with them and we gave our word that we would…"

"We got stuck walking around in dresses for the rest of the day…" Pippin stated a matter of fact.

 
A peel of soft laughter echoed behind the group, and quickly they turned to see Glorfindel. Setting down in the empty chair beside Lillian, he began speaking.

"Good morning, young masters and lady. I have to say that your earlier comment brought back some amusing memories of a young Elrohir." Seeing that he caught the company's interest he continued. "You see young hobbits, you were not the only ones who had to dress in gowns for a day."

Lillian eyebrow came together, to intrigued to be scared of the Elven lord. "Elrohir?" she asked softly.

 Nodding, a smile graced Glorfindel's lips as he told his story. "It was long ago when Elrohir and Legolas were in their nine hundreds roughly around the physical age of seventeen. They made a little wager on the outcome of a contest between the themselves. I would say it was that day when Elrohir lost his sense of embarrassment and realized that betting against Legolas in archery was not very wise." Chuckling again, the Elvin lord commented, "I must say he looked quite attractive in rose tones."

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Next chapter: Staffs and reflection.