Chapter 22
Never Alone
--------------
"You were not alone." It was not a question but a statement of fact.
Thonolan whirled around to see Sela framed in the entrance of the cave. Her golden hair creating a halo effect that caused him to take a quick intake of breath.
"No, I don't think I was alone. I wasn't even in control!" He ran a hand through his hair in irritation. "I don't know if I helped or made it worse." He slumped and slid to the ground. "Donii! What do you want from me?" He said in frustration.
Sela hurried to him and knelt beside his abject form. "Shh...you've been through so much. Going into the mind of a person is difficult to handle." She wrapped her arms around him and gently rocked to and fro.
Wrapped in a warm soothing embrace, he felt his defenses drop. Leaning close he let out long stored anguish. Sela crooned softly in response to his cries.
Malia peeked out of the cave to see her daughter giving comfort. She well remembered when she had invaded Ayla's dreams and helped her to talk. The separation after was the worst; it was as if the person was lost to you all over again. Dream interposing was emotionally exhausting. Knowing she would not be of much help to the two, she turned back to the man.
Jondalar was sitting up, trying to make sense of the jumbled fragments of his dream. Tenderly kissing Ayla's hair, he got up and poured tea for himself. Morning was breaking and he walked to the porch of the cave.
Malia studied the man who held her daughter's heart. He was in all, a good match. But was he ready to join himself to a woman with such a past? What of tomorrow, and all the tomorrows after? With every person who stands against her, will he stand with her? She shook her head slowly. The Mother knows, and she brought them together.
An understanding look came across Jondalar's face. Flatheads, of course! He was beginning to understand some of the dream. Why was her face on the ancient Donii? Why should the Great Earth Mother Herself bear the likeness of Ayla?
"The Mother has a great destiny in store for her, and for you too. Think on it, what would your life be if she wasn't with you?" Malia leaned close and whispered in his ear.
Why do I feel such utter despair? What am I not seeing? He thought again of the people in beaded shirts. Ayla had made him one like it...he would wear it when he left. Leave? Leave Ayla?
Sela's eyes lit up and she whispered, "that's right, that's what you're missing."
"What a stupid fool I have for a brother," Thonolan had quietly approached the flustered man, leave her? You can't, you love her! You're so blind when it comes to matters of the heart. Why does it take dream interposing to tell you something that's right in front of you?"
Jondalar was exuberant. I love her! I love Ayla!
"Took you long enough, big brother," Thonolan said with a grin.
"And he's the more astute of you two?" Sela said teasingly, "feeling better now?"
Thonolan smiled down at the beautiful young woman. "Thank you." For a moment he was lost in her expressive eyes. Quickly, he averted his gave and faced Malia. "And thank you for helping him. He can be thick headed at times."
"Jondalar! Where are you?" They turned inside at the sound of Ayla's cries. "Oh, Jondalar, I thought you were gone."
"Never again, Ayla. If my brother has any sense, you won't be lonely again," Thonolan said wistfully.
"If he has any sense? We're in trouble!" Sela said mockingly.
"Quiet, I'd like to listen." Malia held a finger to her lips.
"I have never said this to a woman before, I love you," Jondalar said.
"Love?" Ayla asked. "What does 'love' mean?"
Thonolan doubled over, convulsed in laughter, "you're right, we're in trouble! The only woman he loves, and she doesn't understand it!" Giggles joined his rumbling mirth. "O Great Mother, you do have a sense of humor."
Malia composed herself and looked over at Thonolan apologetically. "We must leave now."
"When will I see you again?"
Sela smiled at him; "we'll meet again. They're coming along quite well. I'd venture to guess that most of the difficulty is past."
"I wouldn't be too sure." Thonolan recalled his last spirit journey.
She cocked her head, "from what the Mother has shown me, most of my work is done. I'm not sure why we've been shown different things."
"Sometimes I think that if we knew the whole plan..."
"We wouldn't want to go through with any of it," she finished. They laughed quietly together.
"I'll miss you." Thonolan whispered.
She looked down at the ground. "I'll miss you too. If only..."
He put his finger to her lips, "shhh. Don't say it." She nodded sadly.
"Sela," Malia called.
"I wish I could stay, but you know how it is. We go where the Mother tells us." She looked earnestly up in his face. Coming to a quick decision, she reached up and placed a fleeting kiss on his lips. Before he could respond, she had turned away, and was already disappearing in the distance. Silently, he held up his hand with his palm facing forward.
Ruefully, he touched his lips, she had felt so vital and alive. It stirred up sensations that had long been at rest.
"Jetamio, how I miss you."
(VOH pp.527-529)
Never Alone
--------------
"You were not alone." It was not a question but a statement of fact.
Thonolan whirled around to see Sela framed in the entrance of the cave. Her golden hair creating a halo effect that caused him to take a quick intake of breath.
"No, I don't think I was alone. I wasn't even in control!" He ran a hand through his hair in irritation. "I don't know if I helped or made it worse." He slumped and slid to the ground. "Donii! What do you want from me?" He said in frustration.
Sela hurried to him and knelt beside his abject form. "Shh...you've been through so much. Going into the mind of a person is difficult to handle." She wrapped her arms around him and gently rocked to and fro.
Wrapped in a warm soothing embrace, he felt his defenses drop. Leaning close he let out long stored anguish. Sela crooned softly in response to his cries.
Malia peeked out of the cave to see her daughter giving comfort. She well remembered when she had invaded Ayla's dreams and helped her to talk. The separation after was the worst; it was as if the person was lost to you all over again. Dream interposing was emotionally exhausting. Knowing she would not be of much help to the two, she turned back to the man.
Jondalar was sitting up, trying to make sense of the jumbled fragments of his dream. Tenderly kissing Ayla's hair, he got up and poured tea for himself. Morning was breaking and he walked to the porch of the cave.
Malia studied the man who held her daughter's heart. He was in all, a good match. But was he ready to join himself to a woman with such a past? What of tomorrow, and all the tomorrows after? With every person who stands against her, will he stand with her? She shook her head slowly. The Mother knows, and she brought them together.
An understanding look came across Jondalar's face. Flatheads, of course! He was beginning to understand some of the dream. Why was her face on the ancient Donii? Why should the Great Earth Mother Herself bear the likeness of Ayla?
"The Mother has a great destiny in store for her, and for you too. Think on it, what would your life be if she wasn't with you?" Malia leaned close and whispered in his ear.
Why do I feel such utter despair? What am I not seeing? He thought again of the people in beaded shirts. Ayla had made him one like it...he would wear it when he left. Leave? Leave Ayla?
Sela's eyes lit up and she whispered, "that's right, that's what you're missing."
"What a stupid fool I have for a brother," Thonolan had quietly approached the flustered man, leave her? You can't, you love her! You're so blind when it comes to matters of the heart. Why does it take dream interposing to tell you something that's right in front of you?"
Jondalar was exuberant. I love her! I love Ayla!
"Took you long enough, big brother," Thonolan said with a grin.
"And he's the more astute of you two?" Sela said teasingly, "feeling better now?"
Thonolan smiled down at the beautiful young woman. "Thank you." For a moment he was lost in her expressive eyes. Quickly, he averted his gave and faced Malia. "And thank you for helping him. He can be thick headed at times."
"Jondalar! Where are you?" They turned inside at the sound of Ayla's cries. "Oh, Jondalar, I thought you were gone."
"Never again, Ayla. If my brother has any sense, you won't be lonely again," Thonolan said wistfully.
"If he has any sense? We're in trouble!" Sela said mockingly.
"Quiet, I'd like to listen." Malia held a finger to her lips.
"I have never said this to a woman before, I love you," Jondalar said.
"Love?" Ayla asked. "What does 'love' mean?"
Thonolan doubled over, convulsed in laughter, "you're right, we're in trouble! The only woman he loves, and she doesn't understand it!" Giggles joined his rumbling mirth. "O Great Mother, you do have a sense of humor."
Malia composed herself and looked over at Thonolan apologetically. "We must leave now."
"When will I see you again?"
Sela smiled at him; "we'll meet again. They're coming along quite well. I'd venture to guess that most of the difficulty is past."
"I wouldn't be too sure." Thonolan recalled his last spirit journey.
She cocked her head, "from what the Mother has shown me, most of my work is done. I'm not sure why we've been shown different things."
"Sometimes I think that if we knew the whole plan..."
"We wouldn't want to go through with any of it," she finished. They laughed quietly together.
"I'll miss you." Thonolan whispered.
She looked down at the ground. "I'll miss you too. If only..."
He put his finger to her lips, "shhh. Don't say it." She nodded sadly.
"Sela," Malia called.
"I wish I could stay, but you know how it is. We go where the Mother tells us." She looked earnestly up in his face. Coming to a quick decision, she reached up and placed a fleeting kiss on his lips. Before he could respond, she had turned away, and was already disappearing in the distance. Silently, he held up his hand with his palm facing forward.
Ruefully, he touched his lips, she had felt so vital and alive. It stirred up sensations that had long been at rest.
"Jetamio, how I miss you."
(VOH pp.527-529)