If you LOVED the first one, then you'll definitely HATE this one....
CHAPTER TWO: Megaman Zero 2
HARPURIA: Hey! I got a one-letter name change! Oh well. It's not like anyone will notice....
In the year 22XX....
It has been a year since Zero chose a different path from Ciel....
ZERO: Really? You mean I've been walking for an entire year? This game sucks!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Nootzo! It bez be the running of the ZERO!
ZERO: Oi, shit! Hey, wait a minute....I'm walking!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Who cares? We kill you!
ZERO: No! I shall destroy you all!
TRIPLE ROD: Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke! CRACK! *clink!* *clink!*
ZERO: Shit! This isn't fun anymore....run away!
ELECTRIC GOLEM: Hey kids! New and improved Golems! Now in three flavors!
ZERO: No time. *slash!*
ELECTRIC GOLEM: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
ZERO: Kill badguys! Kill!Kill!Kill!Kill!Kill.Kill.Kill.Kill.Kill....eh, I don't wanna kill anymore....*plop*
AZTEC FALCON: SHWOOOOOM!!!
HARPURIA: Oh boy! I love playing God! Heads, he lives. Tails, he dies!
COIN: Flip!
(Meanwhile, in a new Resistance Base not far away....)
ELPIZO: Lookit me! I'm the new commander!
RESISTANCE ARMY: Yay!!
CIEL: Good for you. But promise me you won't make a massive attack on Neo Arcadia and go evil!
ELPIZO: No.
CIEL: Okay, whatever.
GUY: Hey dude!
CIEL: I'm not a dude.
GUY: Whatever! We found Zero!
CIEL: Really? Cool beans!
RESISTANCE ARMY: ZELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!
CIEL: Welcome back, Zero!
CERVEAU: Honestly, how could you wear out your weapons like that?
ZERO: I'm just cool like that. Hey, who's the new guy?
CIEL: His name's Elpizo. He's the new commander in charge of military tactics and stuff.
ELPIZO: Hello! We're gonna destroy Neo Arcadia with something I call 'Operation Righteous Strike'! We'd appreciate your help, Zero!
ZERO: What?! No way! I never got any nookie last time!
ELPIZO: Fine. I'll let you make time with the blonde girl to my left!
BLONDE GIRL: What?
ZERO: Yay! Elpizo's cool! Unlike you, Ciel.
CIEL: Phooey.
(And after some much deserved nookie, Zero kills stuff!)
HYLEG OUROBOCKLE: Lookit me! I have a slinky attack! Boing! Boing!
ZERO: Lookit me! I have a saber attack! *slash!*
HYLEG OUROBOCKLE: Aw, shucks. *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
POLER KAMRUS: Wooooo!! I'm really big 'n stuff! Smash! Smash!
ZERO: I think Tundrus Snuffaluffagus would be a better name. *slash!*
POLER KAMRUS: Waaah! You're so mean! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
PANTER FLAUCLAWS: Raaarrr!! I can electrify train cars!!
ZERO: So? I can push you off of them! *push!*
PANTER FLAUCLAWS: Hu--aaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
PHOENIX MAGNION: I can make you hallucinate!
VILE: Hi.
AGILE: Hello.
BIT: Wassup?
COLONEL: Spoon!
ZERO: How can a robot hallucinate? For that matter, how can a robot bleed? Or breathe?
PHOENIX MAGNION: Hey! Robots can't bleed! Wait a minute....can they?.... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ELPIZO: Yay! Now that Zero killed stuff, we can begin OPERATION....!
CIEL: Wait! Won't lots of people die?
ELPIZO: Well, duh!
CERVEAU: If we develop a substitute energy, we won't need to kill people!
ELPIZO: We can't do that!
CERVEAU: Why not?
ELPIZO: *sigh* Does anyone know what caused World War II?
ZERO: No.
CIEL: No.
CERVEAU: No.
BLONDE GIRL: No.
ELPIZO. Yes. I mean....no! Ah, whatever. Open fire! Engage! Attack!!
RESISTANCE ARMY: FREEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!
RESISTANCE ARMY: Blarg! (dies)
LEVIATHAN: Hey, look! It's Zero!
FENIR: Zello! You make me so horny!
LEVIATHAN: Oh, ick!!
HARPURIA: Shaddup! Anyway, I'm the leader of Neo Arcadia now and I don't like you, so I'm dropping a bomb on your base! And it's not just any bomb, it's SPECIAL!
ZERO: Hey! You got a one-letter name change!
THREE GENERALS: ....................
HARPURIA: Uh....Zero? The bomb?
ZERO: Huh? Oh....right. Oh no! I must intercept it!
CIEL: Zero! Lemme come with you!
ZERO: No way! It's too dangerous!
CIEL: (singsong voice) You'll get some milk and nookie when you're done....
ZERO: Oh! Well since you put it THAT way....
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: Hey! What happen?
ZERO: Somebody set up us the bomb!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: Shut up! That joke sucks! You killed my brother!
ZERO: No....I AM your brother!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: What?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
CIEL: Wow, really?
ZERO: Not really. I just made that up. Hey, where's Elpizo?
CIEL: He ran off. I think he said something about killing all the humans or something. Maybe you should follow him.
ZERO: No way! I want some nookie!
CIEL: No! Get to work!
BLONDE GIRL: No way! I want some nookie!
CIEL: Grrrrr....
BURBLE HEKELOT: I can grrrrRRRROOOOWWWW!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ZERO: Kay....that was weird....
FENIR: Yay! Zero came! Let's have fun together!
ZERO: No way! You're freaky! *poke!*
FENIR: Oh boy! I sucked! *plip!*
HARPURIA: That Elpizo guy's weird. I don't like him very much.
ZERO: Hey! Don't dis Elpizo! He gave me some nookie! *poke!*
HARPURIA: Really? Eeeeewwwww..... *plip!*
ZERO: Huh? No, wait! That's not what I meant!
LEVIATHAN: Yay! Zero came! Let's have fun together!
ZERO: Now THAT I can do! *poke!* ^_^
LEVIATHAN: Yay! Oh wait, I lost. Damn! *plip!*
MEGAMAN X: Hi Zero! It's me, your bestest friend! Megaman X!
ZERO: Holy shit! Where'd you come from?
MEGAMAN X: Don't you get it yet, you moron? Elpizo's trying to use the power of the Baby Elves to blow up my body and wake up the Dark Elf!
ZERO: Really? Nobody told me that.
MEGAMAN X: That's because you don't play Megaman games, nimwit.
ZERO: Huh?
MEGAMAN X: Never mind. Just go to Neo Arcadia and stop Elpizo!
ZERO: Okay!
JELLY MONSTER: *spooge!*
ZERO: You are still too big to be a slug. *slash!*
JELLY MONSTER: *SPLAT!*
FENIR: Hey Zero! Let's play taxi! You can be the roadkill!
ZERO: Go away. *poke!*
FENIR: Noooo! My biggest Hot Wheels ever is destroyed! You'll pay for this! *plip!*
LEVIATHAN: You know what? I don't really give a crap about Elpizo. Let's have some nookie!
ZERO: Yay! ^_^
LEVIATHAN: Ack, Zero! You're rough! Hee hee hee!
(And so, Zero and Leviathan got married, had kids, and lived happily ever after. Well, not really)
ZERO: Well, it's been fun, but I have to go save the world now.
LEVIATHAN: Okay. Have fun! Come back soon, okay? ^_^
HARPURIA: KILL ME ZERO!! KILL ME!!
ZERO: Wow! Somebody's a masochist! *poke!*
HARPURIA: NO!! I'M BEING POSSESSED BY THE BABY ELVES!! KI--uh....thanks....I think....
CIEL: Look Zero! You've reached the core! Again!
ALL THE BOSSES ZERO FOUGHT BEFORE: All hail Elpizo! Elpizo is cool!
ZERO: Yah, well now he's a big poopie head! *slash!*
ALL THE BOSSES ZERO FOUGHT BEFORE: *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: Hey, pisanos! It's the Super Beetle Bros. Super Show!
SUPER MARIO BROS. THEME: doot doot doot dootdoot DOOT doot
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: We're the Beetle Bros., and dashing's our game!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: We're not like the others who get all the fame!
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: If your stuff is in trouble, you can call us on the double!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: We're faster than the others! You'll get hooked on the brothers!
BEETLE BROS.: UHHH!!!!!
ZERO: You guys are gay. *slash!*
BEETLE BROS.: I say-a hooked hooked hooked hooked hooked on the brothers! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ELPIZO: Hi Zero! You're too late! I already got the power of the Dark Elf! Die!!
ZERO: No. *slash!*
ELPIZO: Uch....near death....Zero....I'm sorry....
ZERO: Sorta too late for that, now is it?
DARK ELF: SHWOOOOOM!!!!!
ELPIZO: Wow! I'm a Cyber Elf for some reason! Cool! (flies away)
DARK ELF: But you can be free! Free! Free as bird on a big TV.... (flies away)
MEGAMAN X: Ya know, it wasn't always called the Dark Elf....
ZERO: Who cares? I want some nookie!
CUTE SCHOOLGIRLS: Hi Zero!
ZERO: Wow! Looks like my fan club finally caught up to me!
LEVIATHAN: Hey! What about me?
ZERO: Of course! You can join in too! This is the best ending ever!
LEVIATHAN: Yay!!!
THIS STORY IS HAPPY END
?????: Hey! That game ended much too quickly! Quick! Let's foreshadow Megaman Zero 3!!
OMEGA: Okay! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, that's it. Megaman Zero 3? Sure, if it ever comes out. And believe me, it will....
By the way....did anybody catch the Arfenhouse reference?
CHAPTER TWO: Megaman Zero 2
HARPURIA: Hey! I got a one-letter name change! Oh well. It's not like anyone will notice....
In the year 22XX....
It has been a year since Zero chose a different path from Ciel....
ZERO: Really? You mean I've been walking for an entire year? This game sucks!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Nootzo! It bez be the running of the ZERO!
ZERO: Oi, shit! Hey, wait a minute....I'm walking!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Who cares? We kill you!
ZERO: No! I shall destroy you all!
TRIPLE ROD: Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke!Poke! CRACK! *clink!* *clink!*
ZERO: Shit! This isn't fun anymore....run away!
ELECTRIC GOLEM: Hey kids! New and improved Golems! Now in three flavors!
ZERO: No time. *slash!*
ELECTRIC GOLEM: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
ZERO: Kill badguys! Kill!Kill!Kill!Kill!Kill.Kill.Kill.Kill.Kill....eh, I don't wanna kill anymore....*plop*
AZTEC FALCON: SHWOOOOOM!!!
HARPURIA: Oh boy! I love playing God! Heads, he lives. Tails, he dies!
COIN: Flip!
(Meanwhile, in a new Resistance Base not far away....)
ELPIZO: Lookit me! I'm the new commander!
RESISTANCE ARMY: Yay!!
CIEL: Good for you. But promise me you won't make a massive attack on Neo Arcadia and go evil!
ELPIZO: No.
CIEL: Okay, whatever.
GUY: Hey dude!
CIEL: I'm not a dude.
GUY: Whatever! We found Zero!
CIEL: Really? Cool beans!
RESISTANCE ARMY: ZELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!
CIEL: Welcome back, Zero!
CERVEAU: Honestly, how could you wear out your weapons like that?
ZERO: I'm just cool like that. Hey, who's the new guy?
CIEL: His name's Elpizo. He's the new commander in charge of military tactics and stuff.
ELPIZO: Hello! We're gonna destroy Neo Arcadia with something I call 'Operation Righteous Strike'! We'd appreciate your help, Zero!
ZERO: What?! No way! I never got any nookie last time!
ELPIZO: Fine. I'll let you make time with the blonde girl to my left!
BLONDE GIRL: What?
ZERO: Yay! Elpizo's cool! Unlike you, Ciel.
CIEL: Phooey.
(And after some much deserved nookie, Zero kills stuff!)
HYLEG OUROBOCKLE: Lookit me! I have a slinky attack! Boing! Boing!
ZERO: Lookit me! I have a saber attack! *slash!*
HYLEG OUROBOCKLE: Aw, shucks. *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
POLER KAMRUS: Wooooo!! I'm really big 'n stuff! Smash! Smash!
ZERO: I think Tundrus Snuffaluffagus would be a better name. *slash!*
POLER KAMRUS: Waaah! You're so mean! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
PANTER FLAUCLAWS: Raaarrr!! I can electrify train cars!!
ZERO: So? I can push you off of them! *push!*
PANTER FLAUCLAWS: Hu--aaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
PHOENIX MAGNION: I can make you hallucinate!
VILE: Hi.
AGILE: Hello.
BIT: Wassup?
COLONEL: Spoon!
ZERO: How can a robot hallucinate? For that matter, how can a robot bleed? Or breathe?
PHOENIX MAGNION: Hey! Robots can't bleed! Wait a minute....can they?.... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ELPIZO: Yay! Now that Zero killed stuff, we can begin OPERATION....!
CIEL: Wait! Won't lots of people die?
ELPIZO: Well, duh!
CERVEAU: If we develop a substitute energy, we won't need to kill people!
ELPIZO: We can't do that!
CERVEAU: Why not?
ELPIZO: *sigh* Does anyone know what caused World War II?
ZERO: No.
CIEL: No.
CERVEAU: No.
BLONDE GIRL: No.
ELPIZO. Yes. I mean....no! Ah, whatever. Open fire! Engage! Attack!!
RESISTANCE ARMY: FREEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
NEO ARCADIAN ARMY: Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!Shoot!
RESISTANCE ARMY: Blarg! (dies)
LEVIATHAN: Hey, look! It's Zero!
FENIR: Zello! You make me so horny!
LEVIATHAN: Oh, ick!!
HARPURIA: Shaddup! Anyway, I'm the leader of Neo Arcadia now and I don't like you, so I'm dropping a bomb on your base! And it's not just any bomb, it's SPECIAL!
ZERO: Hey! You got a one-letter name change!
THREE GENERALS: ....................
HARPURIA: Uh....Zero? The bomb?
ZERO: Huh? Oh....right. Oh no! I must intercept it!
CIEL: Zero! Lemme come with you!
ZERO: No way! It's too dangerous!
CIEL: (singsong voice) You'll get some milk and nookie when you're done....
ZERO: Oh! Well since you put it THAT way....
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: Hey! What happen?
ZERO: Somebody set up us the bomb!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: Shut up! That joke sucks! You killed my brother!
ZERO: No....I AM your brother!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: What?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
CIEL: Wow, really?
ZERO: Not really. I just made that up. Hey, where's Elpizo?
CIEL: He ran off. I think he said something about killing all the humans or something. Maybe you should follow him.
ZERO: No way! I want some nookie!
CIEL: No! Get to work!
BLONDE GIRL: No way! I want some nookie!
CIEL: Grrrrr....
BURBLE HEKELOT: I can grrrrRRRROOOOWWWW!!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ZERO: Kay....that was weird....
FENIR: Yay! Zero came! Let's have fun together!
ZERO: No way! You're freaky! *poke!*
FENIR: Oh boy! I sucked! *plip!*
HARPURIA: That Elpizo guy's weird. I don't like him very much.
ZERO: Hey! Don't dis Elpizo! He gave me some nookie! *poke!*
HARPURIA: Really? Eeeeewwwww..... *plip!*
ZERO: Huh? No, wait! That's not what I meant!
LEVIATHAN: Yay! Zero came! Let's have fun together!
ZERO: Now THAT I can do! *poke!* ^_^
LEVIATHAN: Yay! Oh wait, I lost. Damn! *plip!*
MEGAMAN X: Hi Zero! It's me, your bestest friend! Megaman X!
ZERO: Holy shit! Where'd you come from?
MEGAMAN X: Don't you get it yet, you moron? Elpizo's trying to use the power of the Baby Elves to blow up my body and wake up the Dark Elf!
ZERO: Really? Nobody told me that.
MEGAMAN X: That's because you don't play Megaman games, nimwit.
ZERO: Huh?
MEGAMAN X: Never mind. Just go to Neo Arcadia and stop Elpizo!
ZERO: Okay!
JELLY MONSTER: *spooge!*
ZERO: You are still too big to be a slug. *slash!*
JELLY MONSTER: *SPLAT!*
FENIR: Hey Zero! Let's play taxi! You can be the roadkill!
ZERO: Go away. *poke!*
FENIR: Noooo! My biggest Hot Wheels ever is destroyed! You'll pay for this! *plip!*
LEVIATHAN: You know what? I don't really give a crap about Elpizo. Let's have some nookie!
ZERO: Yay! ^_^
LEVIATHAN: Ack, Zero! You're rough! Hee hee hee!
(And so, Zero and Leviathan got married, had kids, and lived happily ever after. Well, not really)
ZERO: Well, it's been fun, but I have to go save the world now.
LEVIATHAN: Okay. Have fun! Come back soon, okay? ^_^
HARPURIA: KILL ME ZERO!! KILL ME!!
ZERO: Wow! Somebody's a masochist! *poke!*
HARPURIA: NO!! I'M BEING POSSESSED BY THE BABY ELVES!! KI--uh....thanks....I think....
CIEL: Look Zero! You've reached the core! Again!
ALL THE BOSSES ZERO FOUGHT BEFORE: All hail Elpizo! Elpizo is cool!
ZERO: Yah, well now he's a big poopie head! *slash!*
ALL THE BOSSES ZERO FOUGHT BEFORE: *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: Hey, pisanos! It's the Super Beetle Bros. Super Show!
SUPER MARIO BROS. THEME: doot doot doot dootdoot DOOT doot
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: We're the Beetle Bros., and dashing's our game!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: We're not like the others who get all the fame!
HERCULIOUS ANCHORTUS: If your stuff is in trouble, you can call us on the double!
KUWAGUST ANCHUS: We're faster than the others! You'll get hooked on the brothers!
BEETLE BROS.: UHHH!!!!!
ZERO: You guys are gay. *slash!*
BEETLE BROS.: I say-a hooked hooked hooked hooked hooked on the brothers! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*
ELPIZO: Hi Zero! You're too late! I already got the power of the Dark Elf! Die!!
ZERO: No. *slash!*
ELPIZO: Uch....near death....Zero....I'm sorry....
ZERO: Sorta too late for that, now is it?
DARK ELF: SHWOOOOOM!!!!!
ELPIZO: Wow! I'm a Cyber Elf for some reason! Cool! (flies away)
DARK ELF: But you can be free! Free! Free as bird on a big TV.... (flies away)
MEGAMAN X: Ya know, it wasn't always called the Dark Elf....
ZERO: Who cares? I want some nookie!
CUTE SCHOOLGIRLS: Hi Zero!
ZERO: Wow! Looks like my fan club finally caught up to me!
LEVIATHAN: Hey! What about me?
ZERO: Of course! You can join in too! This is the best ending ever!
LEVIATHAN: Yay!!!
THIS STORY IS HAPPY END
?????: Hey! That game ended much too quickly! Quick! Let's foreshadow Megaman Zero 3!!
OMEGA: Okay! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, that's it. Megaman Zero 3? Sure, if it ever comes out. And believe me, it will....
By the way....did anybody catch the Arfenhouse reference?