Well, hi! This is Megaman Zello 3, as I'm sure all of you actually reading this were hoping for. Unfortunately, before I get the story stated, I feel I must say a few things....
First of all, this summary is based on the Japanese version of the game. As such, I'm forced to depend on unofficial translations in order to understand the story; so I must thank the Megaman Network website (megaman.retrofaction.com) for posting their little game script on their website and letting me mock the game properly! Yay!!
Secondly, as I write this, I realize that this is going to be less of a summary and more of a detailed mock translation. As of now, the story is about as long as the first episode of Megaman Zello, so I might as well show you all what I got so far. Oh well, at least you're getting more Megaman Zello! Whee!
Thirdly....um....this thing contains spoilers. But you probably already knew that....
INSERT BREAK BETWEEN DISCLAIMER AND SHAMELESS PLUG HERE
ZERO: Alight! I'm soooooo cool!!! Lookit me beat this game with one life on hard mode! Yay!!!
CIEL: Hey Zero! You can stop playing that game now.
ZERO: What?! Why the hell would I wanna stop playing Megaman Zero 2?! It's the best game ever!!
CIEL: 'Cause Megaman Zero 3 just came out! See? Look!
ZERO: Wow! This is soooooo cool!!! This is the best game ever! Hey, wait a minute! This game's in Japanese!! I can't read this!!
CIEL: Who cares? It's CAPCOM's fault for making their games so damn cool!!
ZERO: Yeah! You're right! SHAMELESS PLUGHey kids! Import CAPCOM games 'cause they're cool! Then buy 'em again when they come out in America!! CAPCOM games are cool! They R0XoR uR S0xOrZ!!!/SHAMELESS PLUG
CIEL: SHAMELESS PLUGGive CAPCOM all your money! THEY ARE YOUR GODS!!!/SHAMELESS PLUG
ZERO: Damn straight! Now how the hell do I jump....?
INSERT BREAK BETWEEN SHAMELESS PLUG AND ACTUAL STORY HERE
Alrighty then....now that Megaman Zero 3 has finally come out, I can finally give the fans (yes, all three of them) what they want!
P.S. You'd better enjoy this....because it required some heavy duty editing on my part....
CHAPTER THREE: Megaman Zero 3: The R0XORING of Omega!
OMEGA: w0000000000t!!!
In the year 22XX....
CIEL: So....uh....hey Zero?
ZERO: What? Can't you see I'm busy with my nookie here?
CUTE SCHOOLGIRLS: Yay!!!
LEVIATHAN: Yay!!!
CIEL: Yeah....well I've come to tell you that....yeah....you have work to do.
CUTE SCHOOLGIRLS: Awwwww....you suck....
LEVIATHAN: Hey! That reminds me! I told the other guardians that I went out for milk and cookies! That was a year ago! Sorry Zero, gotta go now!!! plip!
ZERO: I really hate you, you know that?
CIEL: Yeah, whatever. Just get your coat on!
ZERO: But I don't need a coat! I'm a frickin' robot!!
CIEL: Fine then! Put mine on!
ZERO: grumble whatever, you lazy bitch....
CIEL: What was that?
ZERO: I said your butt had an itch.
CIEL: Really? That's odd, I can't feel it.... scratch scratch
And so Zero, Ciel, and two Resistance Soldiers go skiing!
RESISTANCE SOLDIER: Actaully, we sorta just walk in the snow.
Really? That sucks....
CIEL: I want you three to behave now!
ZERO: Whatever, you stupid bitch....
CIEL: Stop making me scratch my butt! It has a rash! scratch scratch
CIEL: There's a mysterious energy reading coming from a giant sword thing in the middle of this endless snow backdrop! We're going there to make Zero kick lots of ass and stuff!
ZERO: Jeez, you always make me do everything! Why can't you fight for your own freedom?
CIEL: I dunno. Hey look, that's a neat looking sword!
ZERO: Well, I guess this is my cue to kick ass. (He does)
Z-SABER: slash!slash!slash!
COUNTLESS ENEMY MECHANILOIDS: boom!boom!boom!boom!boom!s'plode!
ZERO: Hey, my flexible handjob rod is missing from my inventory! Ah, whatever, I'm kicking enough ass with this spatula sword. Thanks for the new sprites, CAPCOM! You kick ass!
CAPCOM: We sure do!
ZERO: Wow, this is a cool looking sword! Just looking at it reminds me of the Dark Elf for some reason....
HARPURIA: plip! Hey, what's up? You done borrowing Leviathan?
ZERO: Holy shit!
HARPUIRA: Yeah, I know. Hey, you better not go inside this sword thing. It's real dangerous, you know?
ZERO: Um....you're talking to me here....
HARPURIA: Oh yeah, you're right! ppht! I'm so silly! plip!
CIEL ON HER HANDY DANDY CELL PHONE: Hey Zero! Did you get the milk and cookies yet?
ZERO: Um, no....look, it's been two games and I'm running out of minutes for this thing....
CIEL ON HER HANDY DANDY CELL PHONE: Holy crap! We're about to be yoinked!
RESISTANCE SOLDIER: Curse these stupid guns that don't fire anything!
RESISTANCE GUNS: make pretty sounds, but unfortunately, don't fire anything
NEO ARCADIAN SOLDIERS: Yoink!
ZERO: Well, that'll save on minutes at least. Let's kick some more ass!
And so Zero goes inside the giant sword thingy. Meanwhile, a battle ensures.
NEO ARCADIAN SOLDIERS: Dude....let's shoot at the wall....
OMEGA: w0000000000t!!!
NEO ARCADIAN SOLDIERS: Uh....boom!
LEVIATHAN: Ah, crap! This boss is too hard for us AI-controlled drones! Fenir! Shoot him!
FENIR: But....you're naked....
LEVIATHAN: Yes! I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I forgot my clothes at Zero's house! Just shoot him!
FENIR: Okay, fine....stupid whore....
LEVIATHAN: What was that?
FENIR: I said you forgot to lock the front door. See, look! Zero just came in!
ZERO: Hey guys! What's u--HOLY POOPBUCKETS!!!
OMEGA: w0000000000t!!!
FENIR: Yeah....listen, we're gonna run away now. But you'll be fine! You'll kick his ass! Right, sexy little kitten? plip!
LEVIATHAN: Don't let Fenir freak you out. He's just a lonely pervert. Speaking of which, I sorta need to get my clothes....plip!
OMEGA: w0000000000t!!!
ZERO: Yeah, whatever! I'm gonna eat your shit for breakfast! ....wait....that didn't come out right....
And so, an epic battle between Zero and Omega begins. Only the battle isn't so epic, because Zero wins quite easily.
OMEGA: plop! Ah, gR3a8, My HaNz f311 d0Wn an tH3y Kan'T G3t uP.
ZERO: Say what now?
OMEGA: rRRRRRRRGH!!!1 U sHa11 PAy 4 uR w00tN3sS!!!1
HARPURIA: Zap!
OMEGA: plop! rRRRRRRRGH!!!1 St00p1D P1St1C HaNz!!!1
HARPURIA: plip! Hey, Zero! Let's beat this guy down and eat his shit for breakfast!
Dr. WEIL: You shant be doing that, you naughty children!
ZERO: Hey! Who are you?!
Dr. WEIL: I am the almighty Dr. Weil! You shall be remembering me from the last summary, yes?
HARPURIA: Um....no?
ZERO: I don't think you appeared in the last summary....
MEGAMAN X: Well, I almost mentioned it, but then you had to run off and get some nookie....
ZERO: Ah, whatever....
Dr. WEIL: Pah! Anyway, this dude just joined Neo Arcadia! So you better be nice to him!!
HARPURIA: Bullshit! We kicked him out 100 years ago because he ate all the cookies! Why would he come back?!
COPY X: plip! 'Cause he promised to bring a pizza!
HARPURIA: What?! Master X? But how?!
Dr. WEIL: I brought him back! So you better be nice to me!
HARPURIA: sigh Fine....
ZERO: Hey! You can't be Copy X!!
COPY X: And just why not?!
ZERO: 'Cause you have blue eyes!
COPY X: Crap! I was hoping you wouldn't notice that! Oh well! Come! Let's make shit happen! plip!
Dr. WEIL: Yahoo! He's the best! plip!
HARPURIA: Aw, man. Sorry Zero, but daddy's forcing me to be mean.... plip!
OMEGA: 3 sHa11 M33t AGa1N, cRapSt1cK3R!!! PLOP!!!
ZERO: Well, this planet's certainly going down the shitter.... plip!
INSERT BREAK BETWEEN ACTUAL STORY AND EVENTUAL DISSAPOINTMENT HERE
And thus, the story comes to a close for now. But there will be more! I promise!
ZERO: There better be, you stupid front door! I didn't ruin the game for myself for nothing, you know! Now how the hell do I jump....?