Xander opened his eyes. No one was there. He felt kind of disappointed. I mean he thought at least one of them could have stayed at his bedside all night. Wasn't he worth losing sleep over? On the other hand maybe they had just popped out to the bathroom. Man, did he need the bathroom. He tried to get up but the pain soon stopped that. He thought about using the tube but he still had his dignity. He'd wait; best not even think about it.
Maybe the vampires had come and there had been a really cool battle with bodies flying left, right and centre. Maybe he missed all the violence, the pain, and the suffering. Maybe he…nah. He never missed the violence, the pain, and the suffering. In fact, it actively sought him out. No, the vampires hadn't come. What else could explain it then? Maybe they were in Giles's room having big meeting without him. That sounded plausible. Maybe they were deciding how to defeat the big bad. Maybe Faith had arrived with that box she had talked about. Hmm…Faith. No, you like Buffy. But still…no, Buffy. Focus, man. Wait a minute. Maybe they had all run off to Mexico. No, that was silly. Maybe they had all gone home for a shower and in a cloud of foam someone's hand had strayed onto someone else's thigh and sparks started to fly and ...No, I said focus! Maybe their eyes met as they reached for the soap and…Damn it! Damn lesbians for being so God damn hot!
"What's that about lesbians?" Willow asked as she entered the room with Dawn and Buffy following behind her.
Xander's eyes flared open with shock but he soon recovered composure. "Where have you lot been? No one was here to wake me up in case anything good happened." He demanded.
Buffy pointed out of the door, "With Giles."
Xander sat up and pointed an accusing finger at the three of them, "I knew it!"
Dawn brushed a stray hair from her face and smiled, "Except me. I was in the bathroom."
Xander continued to point, though less accusingly, "I also knew that!"
Willow gave him her usual playful yet uncompromising stare, "What do you want? A cookie?"
He thought about this for a moment then responded, "Well, yes actually. I've feeling a bit hungry."
Willow's stare softened and her eyes glinted with honesty, "Well you can't. The doctor said no food for twenty-four hours and plus Buffy ate the cookie."
Buffy's eyes opened wide at this and indignity invaded her voice, "I did not…. Okay, I did. But it wasn't my fault. It was so tastefully delightfully scrumptious." She stopped as she realised everyone was staring at her. "…What? Oh, sorry Xander. Didn't mean to make you drool."
Xander's jaw returned from its dropped position and he quickly wiped the speck of drool from his mouth. "I wasn't drooling about the cook…err…yes, I was. I was drooling about the cookie and nothing else. Also since when do you use the word scrumptious?"
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, "I blame Giles. He make me English bad."
Willow walked up and sat on the edge of Xander's bed. "Actually something did happen while you were asleep. Faith has arrived."
Xander gazed into the distance, "Hmm…Faith."
A fiercest entered Willow's voice, "Xander?"
He was brought out of his daydream, "What? I wasn't drooling."
Willow furrowed her brow in confusion, "Err…I was going to ask you if you were feeling up to a trip outside."
Xander acted as if he had just been caught with his hand covered in red paint, "Oh…um…yes, yes I am. But first I have a little matter to take care of."
The three girls stood waiting for him to take care of the little matter he spoke of but he didn't move.
"Well…?" Asked Buffy.
A broad smile of satisfaction emerged across Xander's face, "I'm done."
The three of them stared at each other and shrugged their shoulders in puzzlement.
After a piece of careful manoeuvring and occasional swearing Xander was in the wheelchair and being wheeled out of the room and to freedom, well, not so much freedom as the hospital garden.
He was being pushed by Willow and just as he was out of his room she lent down to his right ear and whispered, "So, what's this about lesbians?"
"Ah. About that…"