Bravery & First Steps
Chapter One: Song Association
TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddssaol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILER: This is a redone Season 4. Some things from that season will carry over, but not all of them.
RATING: PG13. Rory/Dean and Luke/Lorelai get a little sexy, but not dirty.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SUMMARY: Right after Rory & Lorelai's return from Europe, Luke decides he needs to talk to Lorelai about taking their relationship further. Christopher and Sherry have broken up and he also shows up in Stars Hollow, wanting to attempt another reconciliation with Lorelai. Rory, crushed after Jess abandons Stars Hollow becomes close to Dean once again. Dean realizes his wedding is a mistake.
SONG CREDIT: The amazing Stevie Nicks
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing; all characters belong to Amy Sherman-
Palladino and the WB.
All of the lights were turned off, the counters cleaned. Another day's business conducted and finished.
Every time the diner closed and he made his way upstairs, the silence overtook him. Now with Jess gone, Luke was faced with another night of looking through the remnants left to him by those who'd stayed briefly in his apartment. It was either that or hit the bottle yet again.
Since he and several bottles of booze had made friends, he'd missed many an opening time. Taylor had practically signed a town ordinance stating that if he was late once more he'd be subject to a fine for the human traffic that took up residence while they waited. Luke was also sure he'd spotted Kirk on more than one occasion at dawn, from behind a pair of binoculars, spying on him to be sure he'd open the diner on time. Stars Hollow was nothing if not a den of spies.
He locked the door and threw the keys on the kitchen table. The keys found company with his hat, which was the next item he randomly tossed over towards the table.
Sitting down on the couch, he glanced over at the book he'd left there last night. It was a dogeared copy of an old William Burroughs novel, left there by Jess. He tried to make through a few pages the other night, but Naked Lunch was about as rambling as Taylor at a town meeting. Fifteen pages in and his dalliance with the Beatnik was over. Luke tossed the book back onto the couch, got up and walked towards his refrigerator.
Beer in hand, he pondered giving Nicole a call to see what she was up to. Early springtime was a busy time for her, she'd told him at their date last Saturday, since she was involved with a few fundraisers and charity organizations. They'd actually attended one in New York City on Sunday - at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens in New York - and he'd given new definition to the word sleepwalking that afternoon. Talk about a crowd that he had nothing in common with! The bon vivants of New York thought that a few letters or Roman numbers next to their names made them posh intellectuals. When he attempted to have a conversation with a City Councilman about Pigs in the Trough, the man thought he was talking about a rap album.
The refrigerator slammed shut and a CD box came flying down, missing his head by a few inches. Ah, another left behind, this one Rachel's. She'd been a huge Stevie Nicks and her Enchanted collection had been one of her favorites. Luke had tried to get in contact with her to see about mailing it to her, but Rachel wanted not to be found it was best to leave her alone.
He looked over the song list and decided to put on on for the hell of it. This song he'd actually enjoyed. It was a great acoustic version. Luke stuck the CD in the player, set the song selection and brooded.
Rhiannon rings like a bell thru the night
And wouldn't you love to love her
She rules her life like a bird in flight
And who will be her lover...
Why was it that even though the song should be associated with Rachel, it was Lorelai that instantly came to mind? She shouldn't be in his mind; he knew she had some guy in her life. He also had Nicole, a steady girlfriend. Nicole should be the one on his mind, but she wasn't. In times when all was quiet, it was always Lorelai.
All your life you've never seen
A woman--taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised you heaven
Will you ever win...
She is like a cat in the dark
And then she is the darkness
She rules her life like a fine skylark--
And when the sky is starless--
He thought back to the night the Independence Inn caught fire and she'd slept over. They'd talked and she told him about the dream she'd had about the two of them. That dream and the entire conversation had haunted him for weeks now. Even though he'd never admit it to another soul, Luke knew for certain that Lorelai was one of the most undefined relationships he'd ever had in his life. She saw him as a friend and he saw her in the same way, but there were times....moments really.....when there had been glimmers of something more.
All your life you've never seen--
A woman--taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised you heaven
Will you ever win...
Dreams unwind.
Love's a state of mind.
It was a pointless game they played. Day after day, this dance went on - a dance where no one took the lead. He was afraid of making a move because the last time he'd decided to it had been too late. That was the night he'd first seen her with Max Medina and when she became engaged to him later the next year, it had crushed him. Rachel had known. He had told no one but it was the reason she left. She was also the reason he kept himself aloof from Nicole.
Lorelai.
He downed his beer with one more gulp. Drinking all night, feeding his mind with pontification - all of was worth nothing. There was an ache in his life that mere distractions couldn't heal. He needed her as more than a friend, but the question was what would she do if he did something about that? Would it ruin their friendship?
It was exhausting to try and list all of the reasons and questions that came to mind whenever the subject of what to do about Lorelai came into his mind. Nicole was pressing him to take their relationship further and it was time for him to either pay or shut up. He knew what he wanted but how was he going to get it?