Disclaimer: I have no claim to the Star Wars world, only an enjoyment of
what George Lucus and Bioware have created. This story is set in transit
between planets and the only character I can lay any claim to is Skye
Organa, my PC.
As we head back to the Ebon Hawk, Carth contacts them on the comm. unit telling them to get ready for take off. I'm feeling a little worse for wear after my battles and can't wait to be somewhere 'safe' where I can rest. We race up the ramp and into the hawk, Carth going straight for the cockpit and Juhani and I to the common room. I sink down on one of the chairs. Bastila comes over to me, looking me over closely and scowling. I felt our bond kick in soon after I left the academy so realize that was the reason behind the block.
"Whatever have you been up to? And I don't mean just getting the Star Map coordinates."
"Look Bastila, I have just fought numerous beasts including two Terentatek's and two dark masters. I need to rest. Juhani can fill you in, I'm going to lie down." With that I make my way to the bunkroom and lie down. The last thing I want is for her to know what transpired between Carth and myself. I work on closing off the link to her. I have no regrets about it, but I don't want more lectures on self-discipline from the ice princess either.
In the cockpit Jolee and Canderous set a course for Manaan as Carth had instructed over the comm. It will take us another two days to get there. Jolee gives Carth a searching look as he enters the cockpit and through the force, knows that something happened in the academy that was unexpected. Carth lets them know that we had found his son and that Dustil was now on his way back to Telos. Jolee seems satisfied with that but underneath knows that something else happened, but not what. He lets it go for now, figuring that if it is meant to come out, it will. He tells Carth to go get some rest and to tell Juhani to as well.
Two days into our journey, Carth and Bastila are on duty in the cockpit when it happens. We get dragged out of hyperspace by an Interdictor ship and are caught by a tractor beam. Bastila asks what has happened and Carth just sits back, relinquishing the controls. He tells us that we have been caught up a tractor beam and there's nothing we can do in a ship this size, to get out of it. We all meet in the common room. When asked if Carth recognises the ship he tells us that it is Saul Karath's ship, the Leviathan, his old mentor.
He then shares with the rest of the crew what he had told me previously, "When the Sith attacked my home world the Leviathan – which is Saul Karath's Flagship – was at the head of the fleet. My family was destroyed that day and my wife died in the Sith bombardment."
"Don't let your lust for revenge cloud your judgement, Carth" I have to say, concerned for him.
He tells me he won't do anything stupid and goes on to say that the Admiral will have plenty of guards watching us carefully. We all agree that he will be watching Carth, Bastila and myself the most so if we are to stage an escape one of the others will have to do it. Looking around everyone I suggest Juhani as she can use the Force to camouflage herself. Everyone agrees and we scatter throughout the ship – we're not going to make it easy for the Sith, but we don't want anyone getting killed in the process either. We hear the sounds of them boarding our ship and everyone becomes wary. Juhani disappears from view in a cloak of Force invisibility.
I head towards the back storage hold and Carth follows. Catching up with me he pulls me into his arms and holds me close, kissing me soundly. I return his embrace, both of us offering comfort and support to the other. This is how we are captured. The Sith dragging us apart and down the ramp, another with Bastila, following us down. The others have already been brought out, Canderous looking alittle rough around the edges and the droids now with restraining bolts. Jolee, Mission and Zaalbar are looking subdued. We are all taken to the detention cells where we are separated. Carth, Bastila and I are led into a room full of torture chambers and the others into another cellblock.
We are stripped and shoved into the chambers forcefully and soon the Admiral enters. He taunts Carth first, telling him that the months since they last met have not been kind to him. Carth lets him know just how much he wants to kill him for what he did to his home world and for killing his wife.
Saul just laughs at him saying, "You used to be a man of action, not of empty words. Cling to your lust for revenge if you must, but spare me your tired threats. I've heard them all before. You are an insignificant part of these events, anyway. Lord Malak is far more interested in your Jedi companions. He has great plans for them."
Bastila calmly tells Saul, "We will never serve Malak or the darkside! The Sith will be destroyed, Admiral Karath... as will you if you don't turn away from this path."
"Your words are brave, Bastila, but the lure of the darkside is hard to resist - or so I've been told. I wonder if your companion is as devoted to the light as you are?" He turns to look at me.
"You're wasting your time Saul, I will never betray the Jedi."
"You're defiant. I'm sure Malak will find your loyalty to the Jedi amusing." A sadistic grin coming over his face, "The Dark Lord would probably reward me if I just killed you once and for all. But he may want to question you given the trouble you have caused him... and the history between you."
I don't know what he is talking about and glance at Bastila, seeing her wince at his words, before I turn back to him "History, what are you talking about?"
A look of astonishment briefly crosses he face and he laughs, "You mean...oh this can't be true, can it? You really don't know what's going on here do you? Well I won't be the one to deprive Malak of the pleasure of telling you himself. The Dark Lord will probably torture you for information and for his own twisted pleasure. Eventually you will tell him everything. The Sith can be very persuasive. However, Lord Malak is in another sector. It may be some time before he arrives, so I suppose I will have to fill in for him until then. Activate the torture fields."
Pain shoots through us and I don't know what is worse. The pain I feel or hearing Carth and Bastila's cries of pain. I resolve myself to not co- operate with the Admiral even if it means more pain. I concentrate on the Force, drawing it into a tight focus to dull the pain and sending soothing thoughts to both Bastila and Carth. I'm not sure if it will help at all but I figure it is worth a try. I feel Bastila responding and reinforcing me as we try to cushion each other and Carth.
"Enough! I don't want them to pass out before I question them. Malak will appreciate any information I can give him when he arrives."
"Don't waste your breath, Saul! We won't answer any of your questions."
The Admiral looks at Carth, "I'm sure you won't. However we both know your friend's loyalties have proven in the past to be somewhat... flexible," he says and turns back to me.
"What are you talking about?" I demand. I'm confused and I want to know what is going on. I hate being kept in the dark and I'm sure that Carth doesn't know what he is talking about either. I am not so sure about Bastila though as I feel reluctance and dread through our bond and look from her back to the Admiral.
"I am interrogating you, not the other way around. You will answer the questions, not ask them" He snaps at me, "It is time to put your loyalty to the test. I doubt torturing you will gain me your true co-operation. Your will is too strong to be broken that way. However, even the strongest of heroes has trouble watching those they care about suffering." He had received his subordinate's report of how they found Carth and I in the Hawk and also had seen the exchanges between us. "The interrogation will begin now. Each time you refuse to answer, or give me a false answer, Carth will suffer."
My breath catches in my throat and I look over at Carth, seeing resolve in his eyes. I don't know if he will receive it or not but I silently send him a message apologizing for what I am about to say. Taking refuge in the Force I say, "I will not betray the Jedi, even to save Carth." I calmly state.
"My pain is meaningless. Tell him nothing!" Carth looks back at me and I gather he received my unspoken message. Juhani might have been right when she said he and I shared a bond.
"I tire of these games – now I want answers! On what planet is the Jedi Academy in which you were trained?"
I give him a composed but blank look "Jedi Academy? I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Very well. This is the price of your resistance."
Carth screams and I feel it right to my core. Tears prick my eyes and I work to use the Force to try and cushion his pain. Defiantly I stare back at Saul determined he will not beat me.
"Enough! You see what happens when you defy me. The first question was a test. Obviously Malak new the Academy was on Dantooine, and it has since been destroyed by our fleet! Dantooine is an empty graveyard now. Nothing remains but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your Masters!"
Shock courses through me at his words and I struggle to deny what I know in my heart is true, "No, you're lying! It isn't true!"
"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. The fact remains that the Jedi on Dantooine have been eradicated, along with any hope of someone coming to rescue you. Now. Tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop Malak and the Sith Armada?"
Stubbornly I answer, "I will not betray the Jedi." Through my link with Bastila, I encourage her to help me reinforce Carth. It won't stop his pain but it might help him if we can dull it.
"Perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of refusing to co- operate."
Carth again screams "NO! AHHH! The pain – THE PAIN! AHHH!"
"Listen, can you not hear him suffering? You can spare him further pain by simply answering my questions. Now I will ask you again – on what mission did the Jedi Council send you?"
Tears are flowing freely down my face now as I look upon Carth, I can't stop them from falling. Straightening my shoulders and strengthening my resolve I turn and coldly stare back at Saul. "You are a sick and evil man, Saul Karath."
"Perhaps another lesson is in order." Saul seems to be enjoying this a little too much as he has the torture field activated again.
I am made to watch as Carth screams, waves of pain hitting my heart and more tears flow down my face. "No! AHHH!!! AUGH! NO!!! I beg you ... Mercy!!! NO!!" I am almost at breaking point but I do not want this to be for nothing.
Saul's voice breaks into my thoughts "I am surprised he didn't pass out sooner. Rarely have I seen someone withstand such punishment and remain conscious. I see I am wasting my time here. When Malak arrives you will find my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Lord Malak arrives."
With that all three torture fields are again activated. The pain is unbearable and I struggle to call the Force to protect myself. Carth's cries cease as he passes out. Bastila and I giving more of a fight against it until we both succumb also. I sink down to the bottom of the cell as oblivion over takes me. I don't know how much time passes but it must have been a considerable amount, for when I come to Bastila extends a hand towards me with a gentle warning.
"Don't try to move too quickly, you might not be fully recovered yet. Admiral Karath had his guards torture you even after you had passed out" Bastila's voice reverberates through my head and I wince, my body aching all over and I struggle to summon the Force to soothe the pain in my nerve endings.
"They tortured all of us, though you got the worst of it by far. Saul wanted them to make us suffer. He's become some sort of sadistic monster." Carth's voice full of anger and confusion as to why Saul would torture me more than he or Bastila. I wish I had an answer for him but I don't.
"The darkside has perverted him, Carth. Once you start down the tainted path it leads you ever further into the depths of evil. I fear he is forever lost."
"No one is beyond redemption, Bastila." I wearily look up at her.
"Hmm, yes I suppose you are correct. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that hope in the face of such unbridled cruelty, but you speak the truth. I suppose I'm taking the news of Dantooine's destruction quite hard. First Taris, now the Academy... is there no end to the killing?"
"I know... it's hard to believe they're all gone." I answer her, sadness tingeing my voice.
"I'd like to believe that Saul was lying to us. But even as he said the words I knew they were true. The Academy is gone. We should have felt a disturbance in the Force when the attack came. The fact that we did not is a bad sign. I fear the dark side is growing stronger, casting shadows that our vision cannot pierce. I can only hope that some of the Jedi escaped. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar...I cannot imagine all of them being gone. In any case, we have lost our one place of refuge in the galaxy."
"None of this will matter if we can't get out of this prison before Saul gets back" Carth states.
"Where is Saul Karath now?" I ask him.
"Saul mentioned that Lord Malak was on his way. I think the Admiral left to prepare for his arrival... and to report the results of our interrogation."
Bastila turns to me "It is fortunate that you were able to resist the Admiral's questioning. The fate of the galaxy could be changed by revealing the slightest bit of vital information."
Carth looks intently at me, "I, uh... I have to confess something. There was a... there was a moment – just a moment – when part of me was hoping that you would tell him what he wanted to know. Just to make the horrible pain stop."
I look back at him, fresh tears glistening in my eyes, "I'm sorry, Carth. Watching you suffer tore me apart."
"No, I know you wouldn't ever do anything to intentionally cause me pain. But you had no other choice. You couldn't betray our cause. I... I don't honestly know if I could have been as strong in your position. To watch you suffer like that I... I might have cracked." The look in his eyes pulls at my heart strings and I would like nothing better than to be in his sweet embrace, impossible as that is with each of us in different cells.
"Did you feel that? A disturbance in the Force. The Admiral has sent his message. The Dark Lord knows we're here now. Malak is coming." Bastila's voice is filled with dread.
"Well, we better hope that Juhani busts us out of here before he arrives." Carth answers.
My body still hasn't recovered from the pain so I sink to a sitting position in my cell, letting myself fall into a meditative, healing trance. I hear Carth ask if I'm alright and Bastila respond affirmatively. I concentrate on pushing the pain away, after a while feeling much better. I then send my healing thoughts towards Carth, hearing his surprise as a soothing wave passes over him, relieving his remaining pain. The three of us quietly talk about what course of action to take once freed from the cells. Finally hearing the sound we have been waiting for. It is the sound of blaster fire coming from outside the chamber. The doors open and Juhani wanders in, the others following in her wake, Mission heading straight for the computer console to release us from our cells.
"Well done Juhani. In freeing us from the cell you have truly proven yourself worthy of the title of Jedi." Bastila tells her.
Carth says that if he recalls the layout of the ship, our equipment should be in the next chamber over, through the north doors. We are also going to have to get to the bridge to open the docking gates to the hanger where the Hawk is, from there. There is no other way to get the Ebon Hawk out. Bastila announces that she can feel the Dark Lord approaching, all of us Jedi agree with her as we can feel the darkness getting closer. I must have been out of it for quite some time if he had already made it here from another sector. Working out a plan, we decide that she, Carth and I will go to the bridge and the remainder of the crew will head back to the Hawk. Surprise and secrecy should be on our side this time, with only a small group going for the bridge. Canderous takes charge of the others and we head off, us towards the bridge, the others back to the Hawk.
In the elevator I get the feeling that Carth wants to talk to me about something, that he is nervous about whatever it is so I ask him if he wants to talk.
He moves closer to me, glancing at Bastila and then deciding that it doesn't matter what she thinks. "Yes, what's on your mind?"
"You look like you want to say something"
"Oh, You can tell, can you?" he says with a cheeky grin on his face.
Being flip with him I answer, "It doesn't take Jedi powers to read a man, believe me"
"Oh yeah? Well, listen beautiful. I don't need to take this abuse. I get enough female Jedi bashing from Bastila, thankyou very much." He nods in her direction.
"You love the attention, admit it", mischief is dancing in my eyes.
He steps closer so that we are almost touching, his lop-sided grin in place. "You think so? I could probably get the same type of attention from a blaster rifle."
Smiling cheekily up at him I comment, "Oh, I think there's things I can do that a blaster can't."
He takes me into his arms and laughter escapes him "Now that I'd like to see. Or would I? You've got my damn head on backwards, you know that?" He leans down and plants his lips on mine in a gentle kiss before pulling away and shaking his head slightly. "Anyway... as fun, uh, as this is, I do have to talk to you about something serious. Really serious. Uh, is this a good time?"
I feel strong disapproval from Bastila as she witnesses our intimacy but for once I don't care what she thinks. Having watched while Carth was being tortured has made me realize just how much he means to me, so feeling this is as good a time as any I indicate for him to continue.
"Alright. I'm, uh... I'm concerned about you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself, mostly, but I think it's time I say something."
Even though I know he is serious I can't stop myself saying "You've been keeping something to yourself?"
"It's about you. I'm worried about what might happen to you. You have a lot of courage, and the fact you've remained so strong is amazing, but there is even more danger ahead. I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know... but you're definitely going to become a target. If, uh... if I'm going to find some purpose than taking revenge on Saul, than it's going to have to be in protecting you. I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi Council knows it too. And I don't want that to come to pass."
"You think the Jedi have thrown me to the wolves?" suspicion creeping into my thoughts and I glance at Bastila. There's always been something in the back of my mind that doesn't seem right and I find myself agreeing with Carth.
"Don't chalk it up to my paranoia just yet. Something isn't right. I blamed it on you before, but I... I think the Jedi didn't tell us everything. If I'm going to live past Saul, I need you to, as well. Let me protect you... from yourself, from the Sith... you have to let me try."
"Why are you doing this?" I ask as he takes me into his arms in a gentle embrace, holding me close.
"Because... because I never got the chance to save my wife and son. Because I didn't stop Saul when I had the chance. Because I finally have the chance to do it right. You are an extraordinary woman... you make me think that I might have some purpose beyond revenge. I don't know if it means anything to you... but it does to me."
I lean back so that I can look him in the eye, "It means a lot to me, Carth. Thankyou."
"I'm glad to hear it. I'll do my best." His lips meet mine again, this time in a passionate kiss, full of promise of things to come. We move apart as the elevator reaches our destination. Bastila gives us another disapproving look as she leaves the elevator and says something about emotions getting in the way of business. We ignore her.
We make our way to the Bridge doors, fighting through the enemy as we go, only to find that they are on lockdown and we need to find another way in. I had come across a datapad that mentioned a team having to go through the airlock to fix the outer Bridge door. We decide that is the best way to get there. We find the space suits in the armory and head towards the bridge storage room, to the airlock. Once inside the next airlock we re-equip our weaponry and shields and make our way to the Bridge.
Saul Karath is there, a dark jedi on either side of him and plenty of sith troops. He looks at Carth before saying "Very resourceful, I assume you had some part in this; you learned your lessons well from me."
"The only thing you taught me was betrayal and death, Saul." Carth angrily states.
"Don't be a fool. I am giving you and your companions a chance to surrender. A chance to live. Darth Malak himself is on his way, he will be arriving any moment."
Bastila speaks up "He speaks the truth, Carth. I can feel the Dark Lord's presence approaching."
Thinking he has the upper hand Admiral Karath confidently continues, "Malak will destroy you, but if you throw down your weapons now I will ask my Master to be merciful."
"I've seen enough of Sith mercy!" Carth spits out in answer.
"You always did like to do things the hard way. Lord Malak would have preferred live prisoners, but corpses will have to do."
The battle begins in earnest; none of us wish to remain on this ship any longer than we have to or to become prisoners again. Bastila and Carth concentrate on the guards that are behind us first while I use a stasis field to freeze Karath, the dark jedi and some of the other guards. My Force powers are becoming stronger and I am able to maintain the stasis field longer than I have done before. I pick off the guards to the side, wishing to keep my promise to Carth about letting him deal with Karath himself. Guards disposed of, we move on the dark jedi, Bastila and I both taking them on while Carth takes on the Admiral. We finish off the dark jedi and both stand at the ready incase Carth needs our aid. He doesn't. Carth has his revenge when Saul falls to the ground. I move over to the computer terminal to open the docking bay doors while Bastila searches the remains of the others.
"Carth... Carth..." we hear the Admiral.
"The Admiral, he's still alive!" Bastila's shocked voice sings out.
"It's time to finish this" Carth states, moving towards the Admiral with his blade raised.
"No, Carth! Don't give in to your hatred," I cry, holding my hand out in appeal to Carth hoping he won't do anything foolish.
He turns to me, a look of hatred on his face. "Don't you understand what this man has done to my life? Do you know the pain he's brought me?"
Bastila sides with me. "Killing him won't ease the pain, Carth. Do not become what you despise."
"Carth... cough ... must tell you... cough must tell you something cough, cough come closer... [Unintelligible whisper] You didn't know, did you? cough Ha-ha-ha. Remember my dying words. cough Remember them whenever cough ... whenever you look at those you call your friends!"
A look of shock is on Carth's face as he looks down at the man that has caused him so much pain in the past. Then he looks up at me and the look he gives me makes me want to shrink back from him. "He's gone. He said... it can't be true, can it? [He spins accusingly towards Bastila, then back at Saul's lifeless body] No, no... no – it can't! Damn you, Saul! Damn you!"
Very concerned, I ask "What did he say, Carth?"
He rounds on Bastila. "Bastila – it is true, isn't it? And you knew! You and the whole damn Jedi Council. You knew the whole time!"
"Carth, it's not what you think. We had no other choice! Please, you don't understand..."
"So make me understand" He demands.
I'm very bewildered and look from one to the other, a feeling of dread coming over me like a heavy weight being lowered onto me, "What are you two talking about? What's going on?"
They both ignore me, Bastila responding with "Not here, Carth. Please... there's no time. Malak is coming. This isn't the place. Please Carth, I'm asking you to trust me. For just a little while longer."
Feeling the Dark Lord's presence coming closer and the feeling of dread getting stronger, with an urgency that can't be ignored I say "She's right Carth. This isn't the time. We can get into this once we escape." I look meaningfully at Bastila letting her know in no uncertain terms both verbally and through our bond, that I want to get to the bottom of this as soon as we have the chance. I hate not knowing what is going on and I know this is something that is going to effect me greatly, even if I have no idea what it is.
"I'll trust you, Bastila but as soon as we're off this ship I expect some answers!" He doesn't even look at me.
"Of course, Carth. As soon as we get to the Ebon Hawk. I'll explain everything. To both of you. I promise." Until she said this I thought that she was ignoring me also. I try to catch Carth's eye but he avoids me, instead moving past me leading the way to the hanger.
We have to go though more dark jedi and enemy soldiers on our way to the elevator. Watching Carth I see that his movements have become mechanical and that our connection has been severed, making me feel lost. We are almost to the hanger when the Dark Lord appears before us.
Bastila and Carth are both in front of me, Carth firing his blasters at him with a battle cry of 'Down you go!' before getting pushed over backwards by an invisible hand. Darth Malak laughing as he swat's him down like he was shooing away a fly.
"I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila. I've spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now. [He turns attention to me] Besides, I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now, I can hardly believe my eyes... tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?"
I'm dumbfounded and my brain is having trouble processing this information. "Why did the Jedi spare me? I don't understand..." I look blankly over at Bastila and see that she knows what Malak is talking about.
"What? Ha-ha-ha! You mean you don't know? Ha-ha-ha! All this time, and you still haven't figured it out? Ha-ha-ha! I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth? Surely some of what you once were must of surfaced by now. Even the combined power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?"
I back up a few paces from them all, everything suddenly falling into place. All the conversations I had heard; Bastila telling me that the Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners and 'what greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause – to use their own knowledge against them?' Carth saying 'The Force can do terrible things to a mind it can wipe away your memories and destroy your very identity.' The Jedi Masters saying that normally they wouldn't accept an adult for training – that mine was a special case – and that this mission may lead me down an all too familiar path. All the visions that I had received, that Bastila had shared with me, they were my memories. I shake my head, trying to clear it, and hear the word 'No! No! NO!' screaming in my mind. Now I know what Saul had told Carth, I glance at him briefly, anguish showing on my face as I realize the implications to why he closed himself off from me.
"You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan! Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord – and know that I have taken your place!"
I am in denial "No... this is some sort of trick. A Sith lie!" I look wildly around at Carth and Bastila, silently begging them to tell me that Malak is wrong.
"You do not yet remember, Revan? The Jedi set a trap. They lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack a team of Jedi Knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Council used the Force to reprogram your mind; they wiped away your identity and turned you against your own followers."
"No, I don't believe you Malak!" I think I'm just trying to convince myself that it is not true but I cannot deny the truth behind his words, I steal myself for what is to come.
"You must of seen flashes of your old life in your dreams, Revan: memories bubbling up to the surface? Surely you must remember the battle in which you were captured?"
"Why wouldn't the Jedi just kill me?" I look at Bastila but I already know the answer as Malak speaks it.
"The Jedi are fools: they do not believe in executing prisoners. Originally I had assumed you had died in the battle. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were still alive, Revan."
I wince every time he says the name Revan, it is like salt on an open wound, but I feel I need to keep him talking. I need time to recover enough for the battle I know is coming... soon. "How did they capture someone as powerful as Revan... I mean, me?" I stumble over the words, almost choking on them.
Proudly he answers "I helped them, Revan. I always knew that one day the title of Dark Lord would be mine! When the Jedi strike team boarded your vessel I saw my day had come. I ordered my own ships to fire on your bridge. I thought I could destroy all my enemies with a single glorious victory! I never dreamed the Jedi would take you alive from the wreckage."
I feel I need my suspicions confirmed and turning to her I ask "Bastila, is this true?"
I feel sympathy through the bond as she answers me. "It's true. I was part of the strike team sent to capture Revan... to capture you. When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured. We thought you were dead. Your mind was destroyed, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind."
"Then why don't I remember being Revan?" I still need to know.
"The Jedi Council didn't restore your wounded mind, Revan! [I get the strong impression he enjoys seeing me wince everytime he says that name] They merely programmed it with a new identity – one loyal to the Republic! They tried to make you their slave!"
"But why program me with another identity?" I look at Bastila.
"We couldn't simply restore your true identity: Revan was too dangerous. But locked inside your mind was information the Republic needed: the secrets of the Star Forge. The Council created an identity for you: a soldier under my command. Your subconscious memories were supposed to lead me to the Star Forge; there was no other way to get the information."
Trying to make me angry Malak goads me, "They made you their puppet, Revan – and Bastila was the handler pulling your strings."
I can't help it, I have to ask "Why you, Bastila? Why did the Council chose you?"
"When I used my Force powers to keep you alive on that bridge it created our bond. I convinced the Council that I could use that bond to draw out your memories and lead us to the Star Forge."
"Tell the truth, Bastila, you wanted to taste the dark side for yourself! You knew the only way the Council would permit you to explore the Sith's power was through Revan's lost memories." Malak strikes out at her.
She turns, appealing to me "NO! I wanted to help you Revan. I thought this mission would redeem you: that it would atone for your past crimes. How else could you be saved?"
My voice sounding very flat and dull I say "But what if I remembered who I really was?"
"You had to be healed so I could try and draw out the secrets of the Star Forge – it was our only hope of stopping the Sith! It was the risk the Council chose to take."
I take a few deep breaths, calming my troubled mind and silently reciting the Jedi Code. "I understand, Bastila. You had no other choice."
"Forgiveness Revan? You are weak; I was right to betray you. You are not fit to rule the Sith! A small part of me has always regretted betraying you from afar. I always knew there were some who think I would act out of fear, that I did not want to face you. But now fate has given me a second chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; my triumph will be complete."
My mind now made up and for the moment calm, I answer "Your power is no match for the light!"
"The Council were foolish to let you live. I won't make the same mistake. We shall finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition: master verses apprentice, as it was meant to be!"
With that he freezes both Bastila and Carth in stasis and ignites his lightsaber. I reach for mine, attempting to freeze him but only managing to slow him down. Blades clash and I try to freeze him again. Giving up on that I decide that cunning is the way to go as I weave a deadly dance around him. I am lighter on my feet and can dodge his blade easier than he can mine. With a sudden change of tactic's I go for a power hit, making him stumble and I manage to freeze him momentarily, drawing and igniting my second blade, striking with both as I move swiftly around him and landing a few more damaging hits before he turns and runs, using the Force to close the blast door between us. I take a moment to recover my breath, glancing both at Carth and Bastila, still frozen in stasis, before taking off through another door, tracing the dark taint that is Malak. Finding him I rush in one blade slashing across his front, the other following as I spin, dancing out of his reach once more.
The door behind him flies open and Bastila comes rushing in "This isn't over, Malak!" Carth a distance behind her.
"Your friends do not give up easily, Revan; you always could inspire loyalty. But even the three of you together cannot stand against my power!"
Bastila rushes him, her double-blade slashing across his front with a cry of "For the Jedi!" Malak grunting under her assault. "I'll hold Malak off. You two get out of here! Find the Star Forge!"
Carth rushes up yelling "No, Bastila, he's too strong! NO!!" The door slams closed between us, locking so we cannot get though. "The door's sealed, we can't get past! Come on, we have to get to the Ebon Hawk!"
Guilt assaults me, feeling that I should have been the one facing Malak, "What about Bastila? We have to help her!"
The look he gives me is icy cold. "Bastila doesn't stand a chance against Malak, but you can't help her. Not here. We have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge. That's the key to beating the Dark Lord! Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away. We can't let her sacrifice be in vain! Come on!"
I turn and follow him towards the Ebon Hawk. We race up the ramp, Carth towards the cockpit and me to the gun turrets. Canderous has already done the preflight checks and has warmed up the Hawk as soon as Mission yelled that we were coming. As soon as the ramp closed behind us he had lifted off. I warm up the lasers and focus on knocking out as many of the enemy fighters as possible while they set the hyperspace course to Manaan. I sit there for a short time trying to gather my thoughts. I can feel Bastila through the bond and know that she is alive – Malak wouldn't kill her, he wants her Battle Meditation. I slowly make my way to the common room with dread. I know what is coming; I can feel the betrayal, anger, hurt and pain Carth is radiating.
Jolee is the first to speak. "Where is Bastila? What happened on that ship?"
Carth answers "We ran into Malak. He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."
Mission chokes back a sob "You mean she's... she's dead?"
"Bah. Malak won't kill her, don't be foolish. He'll want to use her battle meditation against the Republic. Turn her to the dark side and the Sith will always be victorious." Jolee answers her.
I take a deep breath, "We can't help Bastila – not unless we find the Star Forge first."
"Not so fast. We've got a bigger issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you. Do you want to tell them what Malak said or should I?" Carth rounds on me, his expression as cold as ice. My heart fills with dread as I turn to face the man I have come to care for more than I have cared for anyone in my life and I feel ill. I knew this would come. I knew it as soon as Malak told us about my past and Bastila confirmed it aboard the Leviathan. Knew in my heart he would think that I had betrayed him.
Softly I appeal to him, my heart breaking "I don't care what Malak said! I'm not Darth Revan. I'm Skye Organa."
Mission looks at me, her jaw dropping open in shock "Revan? What... what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"
Carth continues to shoot daggers my way with his eyes "No, it's no joke. The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastila confirmed it."
Mission just stares at me "Your Darth Revan? This is... this is big. Do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?" Her curiosity gets the better of her.
I sigh and quietly answer as honestly as I can – Jolee and Juhani would know if I lied anyway and I do not wish to hurt anyone else. I have enough to try and deal with without creating more. "Small bits, a few strange dreams and visions. That's all"
"Just a few flashes? That's it? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem. It seems to me that if you don't remember anything about being Revan, than it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?" I can't believe Mission and look at her dumbfounded as she comes over and gives me a hug.
"Of course it still matters! How do we know more memories won't come flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us?" I wince as I hear the hatred in his voice as he says the name Revan. "The whole time we've been chasing after Malak and we've had his old Sith Master right at our side: listening to our secrets: hearing our plans!"
I look him in the eye, trying to appeal to him but coming up against a wall of ice. "But I'm not the Dark Lord anymore. I'm Skye Organa. I'm one of you." The tears starting to build behind my eyes.
Mission hugs me again before turning to Carth "I don't see the Sith Lord standing here. I see a friend who's been with us through thick and thin! Remember- Malak's the one who tried to destroy Taris"
Zaalbar turns to me "I agree with Mission. I swore a life-debt to the person you are, not the person you were."
"Big Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives: we won't desert you now." Mission glares at Carth and hugs me again.
"How can you say that Mission? The sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!" His words feel like physical blows.
Much to my surprise Canderous comes to my defense. "Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth. You can't blame Revan for that"
He looks around at everyone in the common room. All of them watching us both carefully. Backing down he says, "I... I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic by your actions so far. But can I trust you? Can any of us?"
I decide to go around the rest of the room, T3, Mission, Zaalbar and Canderous all show their support. Juhani had gone to the cockpit so I will have to ask her later. I turn to Jolee who surprises me even further.
"What about me? I already knew who you were, though it wasn't my place to tell you. Better off that you know if you ask me. Does it change anything? I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to and I'll help if I can."
I look at HK. "Commentary: I am experiencing something unusual master."
"Why, what's happening?"
"Answer: My programming is activating my deleted memory core. I believe I have a... a homing system that is restoring it master."
Cautiously I tell everyone to stand back.
"Observation: That is unnecessary master. My intent is not hostile. I am receiving no combat override commands. Observation: My homing system is a function of my assassination protocols ... that which I told you had been deactivated. This system was not. It seems that the homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon... upon returning to my original master"
I am shocked into replying "You mean Revan?"
"Affirmation: Correct master. Sith protocols maintain that all droid knowledge be deleted before assassination missions, and restore upon return. I have returned to you and my full functionality is under your command. It is a distinct pleasure to see you again master."
"I'm not exactly Revan anymore, HK-47"
"Observation: That does not matter master. I am your droid regardless of your actions and personality."
"Wow, what are the chances of that happening?" Mission exclaims.
Canderous laughs "Remember we're talking about the Force here. At this point Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash"
"Good point" Mission joins his laughter.
I turn to Carth once again and feeling very disheartened "Well Carth – will you stand with me against Malak?"
"Well the others seem to trust you... and I don't see any other way we can stop the Sith. And I suppose Malak is the real enemy here... I really don't have any other choice do I?" He looks to be fighting an internal battle.
Softly I appeal to him tears pricking my eyes once again "I'm not Revan anymore, you have to believe that." The tears spill over and run down my cheeks unchecked.
"I want to believe you. You've proven yourself time and again during our mission, but this is a little much for me to wrap my head around."
I can't help it, I'm sick of trying to convince him I'm not Revan and am almost hysterical trying to hold back the flood of tears that want to be shed. "How do you think I feel?"
It finally starts to hit him that I was as much in the dark about all this as he was and his voice softens alittle, "This must be even more of a shock to you. I don't know how you even keep going. I guess we both have to find a way to push forward." His voice hardens as his words drive another stake into my heart. "Don't worry – I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of my assignments or this mission. But don't forget: I've sworn an oath to defend the Republic!" His voice getting colder as he speaks. "As long as this mission stays on course, I'll stick with you. But I won't let you betray the Republic under any circumstances!" To everyone he says "So I guess that's it then... we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late."
As soon as he finishes speaking I turn and flee, heading not to the bunkroom but to the corner of the hold where the gym mats have been stacked. I crumple onto the mats and let the tears come forth – I can't hold them in any longer, my body racked with sobs. My heart feels like it is breaking and I feel very nauseated. Sick with the dread of all the things that Revan did, not me Skye Organa, but Revan. I had heard the stories and I can't believe that I could have been capable of any of it. I pull myself up to a sitting position hugging my knees tightly to my chest and focus inwards.
I feel my amethyst stone around my neck heat up as its soothing powers wash over me. I concentrate on the colours swirling around me, light colours of amethyst and white, glowing, healing and soothing me as I use them as my focus. My body relaxes and I release my knees, letting them fall so that I am in a cross-legged position and allow myself to sink into a deep meditative trance.
I remain there until we reach Manaan.
As we head back to the Ebon Hawk, Carth contacts them on the comm. unit telling them to get ready for take off. I'm feeling a little worse for wear after my battles and can't wait to be somewhere 'safe' where I can rest. We race up the ramp and into the hawk, Carth going straight for the cockpit and Juhani and I to the common room. I sink down on one of the chairs. Bastila comes over to me, looking me over closely and scowling. I felt our bond kick in soon after I left the academy so realize that was the reason behind the block.
"Whatever have you been up to? And I don't mean just getting the Star Map coordinates."
"Look Bastila, I have just fought numerous beasts including two Terentatek's and two dark masters. I need to rest. Juhani can fill you in, I'm going to lie down." With that I make my way to the bunkroom and lie down. The last thing I want is for her to know what transpired between Carth and myself. I work on closing off the link to her. I have no regrets about it, but I don't want more lectures on self-discipline from the ice princess either.
In the cockpit Jolee and Canderous set a course for Manaan as Carth had instructed over the comm. It will take us another two days to get there. Jolee gives Carth a searching look as he enters the cockpit and through the force, knows that something happened in the academy that was unexpected. Carth lets them know that we had found his son and that Dustil was now on his way back to Telos. Jolee seems satisfied with that but underneath knows that something else happened, but not what. He lets it go for now, figuring that if it is meant to come out, it will. He tells Carth to go get some rest and to tell Juhani to as well.
Two days into our journey, Carth and Bastila are on duty in the cockpit when it happens. We get dragged out of hyperspace by an Interdictor ship and are caught by a tractor beam. Bastila asks what has happened and Carth just sits back, relinquishing the controls. He tells us that we have been caught up a tractor beam and there's nothing we can do in a ship this size, to get out of it. We all meet in the common room. When asked if Carth recognises the ship he tells us that it is Saul Karath's ship, the Leviathan, his old mentor.
He then shares with the rest of the crew what he had told me previously, "When the Sith attacked my home world the Leviathan – which is Saul Karath's Flagship – was at the head of the fleet. My family was destroyed that day and my wife died in the Sith bombardment."
"Don't let your lust for revenge cloud your judgement, Carth" I have to say, concerned for him.
He tells me he won't do anything stupid and goes on to say that the Admiral will have plenty of guards watching us carefully. We all agree that he will be watching Carth, Bastila and myself the most so if we are to stage an escape one of the others will have to do it. Looking around everyone I suggest Juhani as she can use the Force to camouflage herself. Everyone agrees and we scatter throughout the ship – we're not going to make it easy for the Sith, but we don't want anyone getting killed in the process either. We hear the sounds of them boarding our ship and everyone becomes wary. Juhani disappears from view in a cloak of Force invisibility.
I head towards the back storage hold and Carth follows. Catching up with me he pulls me into his arms and holds me close, kissing me soundly. I return his embrace, both of us offering comfort and support to the other. This is how we are captured. The Sith dragging us apart and down the ramp, another with Bastila, following us down. The others have already been brought out, Canderous looking alittle rough around the edges and the droids now with restraining bolts. Jolee, Mission and Zaalbar are looking subdued. We are all taken to the detention cells where we are separated. Carth, Bastila and I are led into a room full of torture chambers and the others into another cellblock.
We are stripped and shoved into the chambers forcefully and soon the Admiral enters. He taunts Carth first, telling him that the months since they last met have not been kind to him. Carth lets him know just how much he wants to kill him for what he did to his home world and for killing his wife.
Saul just laughs at him saying, "You used to be a man of action, not of empty words. Cling to your lust for revenge if you must, but spare me your tired threats. I've heard them all before. You are an insignificant part of these events, anyway. Lord Malak is far more interested in your Jedi companions. He has great plans for them."
Bastila calmly tells Saul, "We will never serve Malak or the darkside! The Sith will be destroyed, Admiral Karath... as will you if you don't turn away from this path."
"Your words are brave, Bastila, but the lure of the darkside is hard to resist - or so I've been told. I wonder if your companion is as devoted to the light as you are?" He turns to look at me.
"You're wasting your time Saul, I will never betray the Jedi."
"You're defiant. I'm sure Malak will find your loyalty to the Jedi amusing." A sadistic grin coming over his face, "The Dark Lord would probably reward me if I just killed you once and for all. But he may want to question you given the trouble you have caused him... and the history between you."
I don't know what he is talking about and glance at Bastila, seeing her wince at his words, before I turn back to him "History, what are you talking about?"
A look of astonishment briefly crosses he face and he laughs, "You mean...oh this can't be true, can it? You really don't know what's going on here do you? Well I won't be the one to deprive Malak of the pleasure of telling you himself. The Dark Lord will probably torture you for information and for his own twisted pleasure. Eventually you will tell him everything. The Sith can be very persuasive. However, Lord Malak is in another sector. It may be some time before he arrives, so I suppose I will have to fill in for him until then. Activate the torture fields."
Pain shoots through us and I don't know what is worse. The pain I feel or hearing Carth and Bastila's cries of pain. I resolve myself to not co- operate with the Admiral even if it means more pain. I concentrate on the Force, drawing it into a tight focus to dull the pain and sending soothing thoughts to both Bastila and Carth. I'm not sure if it will help at all but I figure it is worth a try. I feel Bastila responding and reinforcing me as we try to cushion each other and Carth.
"Enough! I don't want them to pass out before I question them. Malak will appreciate any information I can give him when he arrives."
"Don't waste your breath, Saul! We won't answer any of your questions."
The Admiral looks at Carth, "I'm sure you won't. However we both know your friend's loyalties have proven in the past to be somewhat... flexible," he says and turns back to me.
"What are you talking about?" I demand. I'm confused and I want to know what is going on. I hate being kept in the dark and I'm sure that Carth doesn't know what he is talking about either. I am not so sure about Bastila though as I feel reluctance and dread through our bond and look from her back to the Admiral.
"I am interrogating you, not the other way around. You will answer the questions, not ask them" He snaps at me, "It is time to put your loyalty to the test. I doubt torturing you will gain me your true co-operation. Your will is too strong to be broken that way. However, even the strongest of heroes has trouble watching those they care about suffering." He had received his subordinate's report of how they found Carth and I in the Hawk and also had seen the exchanges between us. "The interrogation will begin now. Each time you refuse to answer, or give me a false answer, Carth will suffer."
My breath catches in my throat and I look over at Carth, seeing resolve in his eyes. I don't know if he will receive it or not but I silently send him a message apologizing for what I am about to say. Taking refuge in the Force I say, "I will not betray the Jedi, even to save Carth." I calmly state.
"My pain is meaningless. Tell him nothing!" Carth looks back at me and I gather he received my unspoken message. Juhani might have been right when she said he and I shared a bond.
"I tire of these games – now I want answers! On what planet is the Jedi Academy in which you were trained?"
I give him a composed but blank look "Jedi Academy? I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Very well. This is the price of your resistance."
Carth screams and I feel it right to my core. Tears prick my eyes and I work to use the Force to try and cushion his pain. Defiantly I stare back at Saul determined he will not beat me.
"Enough! You see what happens when you defy me. The first question was a test. Obviously Malak new the Academy was on Dantooine, and it has since been destroyed by our fleet! Dantooine is an empty graveyard now. Nothing remains but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your Masters!"
Shock courses through me at his words and I struggle to deny what I know in my heart is true, "No, you're lying! It isn't true!"
"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. The fact remains that the Jedi on Dantooine have been eradicated, along with any hope of someone coming to rescue you. Now. Tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop Malak and the Sith Armada?"
Stubbornly I answer, "I will not betray the Jedi." Through my link with Bastila, I encourage her to help me reinforce Carth. It won't stop his pain but it might help him if we can dull it.
"Perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of refusing to co- operate."
Carth again screams "NO! AHHH! The pain – THE PAIN! AHHH!"
"Listen, can you not hear him suffering? You can spare him further pain by simply answering my questions. Now I will ask you again – on what mission did the Jedi Council send you?"
Tears are flowing freely down my face now as I look upon Carth, I can't stop them from falling. Straightening my shoulders and strengthening my resolve I turn and coldly stare back at Saul. "You are a sick and evil man, Saul Karath."
"Perhaps another lesson is in order." Saul seems to be enjoying this a little too much as he has the torture field activated again.
I am made to watch as Carth screams, waves of pain hitting my heart and more tears flow down my face. "No! AHHH!!! AUGH! NO!!! I beg you ... Mercy!!! NO!!" I am almost at breaking point but I do not want this to be for nothing.
Saul's voice breaks into my thoughts "I am surprised he didn't pass out sooner. Rarely have I seen someone withstand such punishment and remain conscious. I see I am wasting my time here. When Malak arrives you will find my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Lord Malak arrives."
With that all three torture fields are again activated. The pain is unbearable and I struggle to call the Force to protect myself. Carth's cries cease as he passes out. Bastila and I giving more of a fight against it until we both succumb also. I sink down to the bottom of the cell as oblivion over takes me. I don't know how much time passes but it must have been a considerable amount, for when I come to Bastila extends a hand towards me with a gentle warning.
"Don't try to move too quickly, you might not be fully recovered yet. Admiral Karath had his guards torture you even after you had passed out" Bastila's voice reverberates through my head and I wince, my body aching all over and I struggle to summon the Force to soothe the pain in my nerve endings.
"They tortured all of us, though you got the worst of it by far. Saul wanted them to make us suffer. He's become some sort of sadistic monster." Carth's voice full of anger and confusion as to why Saul would torture me more than he or Bastila. I wish I had an answer for him but I don't.
"The darkside has perverted him, Carth. Once you start down the tainted path it leads you ever further into the depths of evil. I fear he is forever lost."
"No one is beyond redemption, Bastila." I wearily look up at her.
"Hmm, yes I suppose you are correct. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that hope in the face of such unbridled cruelty, but you speak the truth. I suppose I'm taking the news of Dantooine's destruction quite hard. First Taris, now the Academy... is there no end to the killing?"
"I know... it's hard to believe they're all gone." I answer her, sadness tingeing my voice.
"I'd like to believe that Saul was lying to us. But even as he said the words I knew they were true. The Academy is gone. We should have felt a disturbance in the Force when the attack came. The fact that we did not is a bad sign. I fear the dark side is growing stronger, casting shadows that our vision cannot pierce. I can only hope that some of the Jedi escaped. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar...I cannot imagine all of them being gone. In any case, we have lost our one place of refuge in the galaxy."
"None of this will matter if we can't get out of this prison before Saul gets back" Carth states.
"Where is Saul Karath now?" I ask him.
"Saul mentioned that Lord Malak was on his way. I think the Admiral left to prepare for his arrival... and to report the results of our interrogation."
Bastila turns to me "It is fortunate that you were able to resist the Admiral's questioning. The fate of the galaxy could be changed by revealing the slightest bit of vital information."
Carth looks intently at me, "I, uh... I have to confess something. There was a... there was a moment – just a moment – when part of me was hoping that you would tell him what he wanted to know. Just to make the horrible pain stop."
I look back at him, fresh tears glistening in my eyes, "I'm sorry, Carth. Watching you suffer tore me apart."
"No, I know you wouldn't ever do anything to intentionally cause me pain. But you had no other choice. You couldn't betray our cause. I... I don't honestly know if I could have been as strong in your position. To watch you suffer like that I... I might have cracked." The look in his eyes pulls at my heart strings and I would like nothing better than to be in his sweet embrace, impossible as that is with each of us in different cells.
"Did you feel that? A disturbance in the Force. The Admiral has sent his message. The Dark Lord knows we're here now. Malak is coming." Bastila's voice is filled with dread.
"Well, we better hope that Juhani busts us out of here before he arrives." Carth answers.
My body still hasn't recovered from the pain so I sink to a sitting position in my cell, letting myself fall into a meditative, healing trance. I hear Carth ask if I'm alright and Bastila respond affirmatively. I concentrate on pushing the pain away, after a while feeling much better. I then send my healing thoughts towards Carth, hearing his surprise as a soothing wave passes over him, relieving his remaining pain. The three of us quietly talk about what course of action to take once freed from the cells. Finally hearing the sound we have been waiting for. It is the sound of blaster fire coming from outside the chamber. The doors open and Juhani wanders in, the others following in her wake, Mission heading straight for the computer console to release us from our cells.
"Well done Juhani. In freeing us from the cell you have truly proven yourself worthy of the title of Jedi." Bastila tells her.
Carth says that if he recalls the layout of the ship, our equipment should be in the next chamber over, through the north doors. We are also going to have to get to the bridge to open the docking gates to the hanger where the Hawk is, from there. There is no other way to get the Ebon Hawk out. Bastila announces that she can feel the Dark Lord approaching, all of us Jedi agree with her as we can feel the darkness getting closer. I must have been out of it for quite some time if he had already made it here from another sector. Working out a plan, we decide that she, Carth and I will go to the bridge and the remainder of the crew will head back to the Hawk. Surprise and secrecy should be on our side this time, with only a small group going for the bridge. Canderous takes charge of the others and we head off, us towards the bridge, the others back to the Hawk.
In the elevator I get the feeling that Carth wants to talk to me about something, that he is nervous about whatever it is so I ask him if he wants to talk.
He moves closer to me, glancing at Bastila and then deciding that it doesn't matter what she thinks. "Yes, what's on your mind?"
"You look like you want to say something"
"Oh, You can tell, can you?" he says with a cheeky grin on his face.
Being flip with him I answer, "It doesn't take Jedi powers to read a man, believe me"
"Oh yeah? Well, listen beautiful. I don't need to take this abuse. I get enough female Jedi bashing from Bastila, thankyou very much." He nods in her direction.
"You love the attention, admit it", mischief is dancing in my eyes.
He steps closer so that we are almost touching, his lop-sided grin in place. "You think so? I could probably get the same type of attention from a blaster rifle."
Smiling cheekily up at him I comment, "Oh, I think there's things I can do that a blaster can't."
He takes me into his arms and laughter escapes him "Now that I'd like to see. Or would I? You've got my damn head on backwards, you know that?" He leans down and plants his lips on mine in a gentle kiss before pulling away and shaking his head slightly. "Anyway... as fun, uh, as this is, I do have to talk to you about something serious. Really serious. Uh, is this a good time?"
I feel strong disapproval from Bastila as she witnesses our intimacy but for once I don't care what she thinks. Having watched while Carth was being tortured has made me realize just how much he means to me, so feeling this is as good a time as any I indicate for him to continue.
"Alright. I'm, uh... I'm concerned about you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself, mostly, but I think it's time I say something."
Even though I know he is serious I can't stop myself saying "You've been keeping something to yourself?"
"It's about you. I'm worried about what might happen to you. You have a lot of courage, and the fact you've remained so strong is amazing, but there is even more danger ahead. I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know... but you're definitely going to become a target. If, uh... if I'm going to find some purpose than taking revenge on Saul, than it's going to have to be in protecting you. I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi Council knows it too. And I don't want that to come to pass."
"You think the Jedi have thrown me to the wolves?" suspicion creeping into my thoughts and I glance at Bastila. There's always been something in the back of my mind that doesn't seem right and I find myself agreeing with Carth.
"Don't chalk it up to my paranoia just yet. Something isn't right. I blamed it on you before, but I... I think the Jedi didn't tell us everything. If I'm going to live past Saul, I need you to, as well. Let me protect you... from yourself, from the Sith... you have to let me try."
"Why are you doing this?" I ask as he takes me into his arms in a gentle embrace, holding me close.
"Because... because I never got the chance to save my wife and son. Because I didn't stop Saul when I had the chance. Because I finally have the chance to do it right. You are an extraordinary woman... you make me think that I might have some purpose beyond revenge. I don't know if it means anything to you... but it does to me."
I lean back so that I can look him in the eye, "It means a lot to me, Carth. Thankyou."
"I'm glad to hear it. I'll do my best." His lips meet mine again, this time in a passionate kiss, full of promise of things to come. We move apart as the elevator reaches our destination. Bastila gives us another disapproving look as she leaves the elevator and says something about emotions getting in the way of business. We ignore her.
We make our way to the Bridge doors, fighting through the enemy as we go, only to find that they are on lockdown and we need to find another way in. I had come across a datapad that mentioned a team having to go through the airlock to fix the outer Bridge door. We decide that is the best way to get there. We find the space suits in the armory and head towards the bridge storage room, to the airlock. Once inside the next airlock we re-equip our weaponry and shields and make our way to the Bridge.
Saul Karath is there, a dark jedi on either side of him and plenty of sith troops. He looks at Carth before saying "Very resourceful, I assume you had some part in this; you learned your lessons well from me."
"The only thing you taught me was betrayal and death, Saul." Carth angrily states.
"Don't be a fool. I am giving you and your companions a chance to surrender. A chance to live. Darth Malak himself is on his way, he will be arriving any moment."
Bastila speaks up "He speaks the truth, Carth. I can feel the Dark Lord's presence approaching."
Thinking he has the upper hand Admiral Karath confidently continues, "Malak will destroy you, but if you throw down your weapons now I will ask my Master to be merciful."
"I've seen enough of Sith mercy!" Carth spits out in answer.
"You always did like to do things the hard way. Lord Malak would have preferred live prisoners, but corpses will have to do."
The battle begins in earnest; none of us wish to remain on this ship any longer than we have to or to become prisoners again. Bastila and Carth concentrate on the guards that are behind us first while I use a stasis field to freeze Karath, the dark jedi and some of the other guards. My Force powers are becoming stronger and I am able to maintain the stasis field longer than I have done before. I pick off the guards to the side, wishing to keep my promise to Carth about letting him deal with Karath himself. Guards disposed of, we move on the dark jedi, Bastila and I both taking them on while Carth takes on the Admiral. We finish off the dark jedi and both stand at the ready incase Carth needs our aid. He doesn't. Carth has his revenge when Saul falls to the ground. I move over to the computer terminal to open the docking bay doors while Bastila searches the remains of the others.
"Carth... Carth..." we hear the Admiral.
"The Admiral, he's still alive!" Bastila's shocked voice sings out.
"It's time to finish this" Carth states, moving towards the Admiral with his blade raised.
"No, Carth! Don't give in to your hatred," I cry, holding my hand out in appeal to Carth hoping he won't do anything foolish.
He turns to me, a look of hatred on his face. "Don't you understand what this man has done to my life? Do you know the pain he's brought me?"
Bastila sides with me. "Killing him won't ease the pain, Carth. Do not become what you despise."
"Carth... cough ... must tell you... cough must tell you something cough, cough come closer... [Unintelligible whisper] You didn't know, did you? cough Ha-ha-ha. Remember my dying words. cough Remember them whenever cough ... whenever you look at those you call your friends!"
A look of shock is on Carth's face as he looks down at the man that has caused him so much pain in the past. Then he looks up at me and the look he gives me makes me want to shrink back from him. "He's gone. He said... it can't be true, can it? [He spins accusingly towards Bastila, then back at Saul's lifeless body] No, no... no – it can't! Damn you, Saul! Damn you!"
Very concerned, I ask "What did he say, Carth?"
He rounds on Bastila. "Bastila – it is true, isn't it? And you knew! You and the whole damn Jedi Council. You knew the whole time!"
"Carth, it's not what you think. We had no other choice! Please, you don't understand..."
"So make me understand" He demands.
I'm very bewildered and look from one to the other, a feeling of dread coming over me like a heavy weight being lowered onto me, "What are you two talking about? What's going on?"
They both ignore me, Bastila responding with "Not here, Carth. Please... there's no time. Malak is coming. This isn't the place. Please Carth, I'm asking you to trust me. For just a little while longer."
Feeling the Dark Lord's presence coming closer and the feeling of dread getting stronger, with an urgency that can't be ignored I say "She's right Carth. This isn't the time. We can get into this once we escape." I look meaningfully at Bastila letting her know in no uncertain terms both verbally and through our bond, that I want to get to the bottom of this as soon as we have the chance. I hate not knowing what is going on and I know this is something that is going to effect me greatly, even if I have no idea what it is.
"I'll trust you, Bastila but as soon as we're off this ship I expect some answers!" He doesn't even look at me.
"Of course, Carth. As soon as we get to the Ebon Hawk. I'll explain everything. To both of you. I promise." Until she said this I thought that she was ignoring me also. I try to catch Carth's eye but he avoids me, instead moving past me leading the way to the hanger.
We have to go though more dark jedi and enemy soldiers on our way to the elevator. Watching Carth I see that his movements have become mechanical and that our connection has been severed, making me feel lost. We are almost to the hanger when the Dark Lord appears before us.
Bastila and Carth are both in front of me, Carth firing his blasters at him with a battle cry of 'Down you go!' before getting pushed over backwards by an invisible hand. Darth Malak laughing as he swat's him down like he was shooing away a fly.
"I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila. I've spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now. [He turns attention to me] Besides, I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now, I can hardly believe my eyes... tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?"
I'm dumbfounded and my brain is having trouble processing this information. "Why did the Jedi spare me? I don't understand..." I look blankly over at Bastila and see that she knows what Malak is talking about.
"What? Ha-ha-ha! You mean you don't know? Ha-ha-ha! All this time, and you still haven't figured it out? Ha-ha-ha! I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth? Surely some of what you once were must of surfaced by now. Even the combined power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?"
I back up a few paces from them all, everything suddenly falling into place. All the conversations I had heard; Bastila telling me that the Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners and 'what greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause – to use their own knowledge against them?' Carth saying 'The Force can do terrible things to a mind it can wipe away your memories and destroy your very identity.' The Jedi Masters saying that normally they wouldn't accept an adult for training – that mine was a special case – and that this mission may lead me down an all too familiar path. All the visions that I had received, that Bastila had shared with me, they were my memories. I shake my head, trying to clear it, and hear the word 'No! No! NO!' screaming in my mind. Now I know what Saul had told Carth, I glance at him briefly, anguish showing on my face as I realize the implications to why he closed himself off from me.
"You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan! Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord – and know that I have taken your place!"
I am in denial "No... this is some sort of trick. A Sith lie!" I look wildly around at Carth and Bastila, silently begging them to tell me that Malak is wrong.
"You do not yet remember, Revan? The Jedi set a trap. They lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack a team of Jedi Knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Council used the Force to reprogram your mind; they wiped away your identity and turned you against your own followers."
"No, I don't believe you Malak!" I think I'm just trying to convince myself that it is not true but I cannot deny the truth behind his words, I steal myself for what is to come.
"You must of seen flashes of your old life in your dreams, Revan: memories bubbling up to the surface? Surely you must remember the battle in which you were captured?"
"Why wouldn't the Jedi just kill me?" I look at Bastila but I already know the answer as Malak speaks it.
"The Jedi are fools: they do not believe in executing prisoners. Originally I had assumed you had died in the battle. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were still alive, Revan."
I wince every time he says the name Revan, it is like salt on an open wound, but I feel I need to keep him talking. I need time to recover enough for the battle I know is coming... soon. "How did they capture someone as powerful as Revan... I mean, me?" I stumble over the words, almost choking on them.
Proudly he answers "I helped them, Revan. I always knew that one day the title of Dark Lord would be mine! When the Jedi strike team boarded your vessel I saw my day had come. I ordered my own ships to fire on your bridge. I thought I could destroy all my enemies with a single glorious victory! I never dreamed the Jedi would take you alive from the wreckage."
I feel I need my suspicions confirmed and turning to her I ask "Bastila, is this true?"
I feel sympathy through the bond as she answers me. "It's true. I was part of the strike team sent to capture Revan... to capture you. When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured. We thought you were dead. Your mind was destroyed, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind."
"Then why don't I remember being Revan?" I still need to know.
"The Jedi Council didn't restore your wounded mind, Revan! [I get the strong impression he enjoys seeing me wince everytime he says that name] They merely programmed it with a new identity – one loyal to the Republic! They tried to make you their slave!"
"But why program me with another identity?" I look at Bastila.
"We couldn't simply restore your true identity: Revan was too dangerous. But locked inside your mind was information the Republic needed: the secrets of the Star Forge. The Council created an identity for you: a soldier under my command. Your subconscious memories were supposed to lead me to the Star Forge; there was no other way to get the information."
Trying to make me angry Malak goads me, "They made you their puppet, Revan – and Bastila was the handler pulling your strings."
I can't help it, I have to ask "Why you, Bastila? Why did the Council chose you?"
"When I used my Force powers to keep you alive on that bridge it created our bond. I convinced the Council that I could use that bond to draw out your memories and lead us to the Star Forge."
"Tell the truth, Bastila, you wanted to taste the dark side for yourself! You knew the only way the Council would permit you to explore the Sith's power was through Revan's lost memories." Malak strikes out at her.
She turns, appealing to me "NO! I wanted to help you Revan. I thought this mission would redeem you: that it would atone for your past crimes. How else could you be saved?"
My voice sounding very flat and dull I say "But what if I remembered who I really was?"
"You had to be healed so I could try and draw out the secrets of the Star Forge – it was our only hope of stopping the Sith! It was the risk the Council chose to take."
I take a few deep breaths, calming my troubled mind and silently reciting the Jedi Code. "I understand, Bastila. You had no other choice."
"Forgiveness Revan? You are weak; I was right to betray you. You are not fit to rule the Sith! A small part of me has always regretted betraying you from afar. I always knew there were some who think I would act out of fear, that I did not want to face you. But now fate has given me a second chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; my triumph will be complete."
My mind now made up and for the moment calm, I answer "Your power is no match for the light!"
"The Council were foolish to let you live. I won't make the same mistake. We shall finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition: master verses apprentice, as it was meant to be!"
With that he freezes both Bastila and Carth in stasis and ignites his lightsaber. I reach for mine, attempting to freeze him but only managing to slow him down. Blades clash and I try to freeze him again. Giving up on that I decide that cunning is the way to go as I weave a deadly dance around him. I am lighter on my feet and can dodge his blade easier than he can mine. With a sudden change of tactic's I go for a power hit, making him stumble and I manage to freeze him momentarily, drawing and igniting my second blade, striking with both as I move swiftly around him and landing a few more damaging hits before he turns and runs, using the Force to close the blast door between us. I take a moment to recover my breath, glancing both at Carth and Bastila, still frozen in stasis, before taking off through another door, tracing the dark taint that is Malak. Finding him I rush in one blade slashing across his front, the other following as I spin, dancing out of his reach once more.
The door behind him flies open and Bastila comes rushing in "This isn't over, Malak!" Carth a distance behind her.
"Your friends do not give up easily, Revan; you always could inspire loyalty. But even the three of you together cannot stand against my power!"
Bastila rushes him, her double-blade slashing across his front with a cry of "For the Jedi!" Malak grunting under her assault. "I'll hold Malak off. You two get out of here! Find the Star Forge!"
Carth rushes up yelling "No, Bastila, he's too strong! NO!!" The door slams closed between us, locking so we cannot get though. "The door's sealed, we can't get past! Come on, we have to get to the Ebon Hawk!"
Guilt assaults me, feeling that I should have been the one facing Malak, "What about Bastila? We have to help her!"
The look he gives me is icy cold. "Bastila doesn't stand a chance against Malak, but you can't help her. Not here. We have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge. That's the key to beating the Dark Lord! Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away. We can't let her sacrifice be in vain! Come on!"
I turn and follow him towards the Ebon Hawk. We race up the ramp, Carth towards the cockpit and me to the gun turrets. Canderous has already done the preflight checks and has warmed up the Hawk as soon as Mission yelled that we were coming. As soon as the ramp closed behind us he had lifted off. I warm up the lasers and focus on knocking out as many of the enemy fighters as possible while they set the hyperspace course to Manaan. I sit there for a short time trying to gather my thoughts. I can feel Bastila through the bond and know that she is alive – Malak wouldn't kill her, he wants her Battle Meditation. I slowly make my way to the common room with dread. I know what is coming; I can feel the betrayal, anger, hurt and pain Carth is radiating.
Jolee is the first to speak. "Where is Bastila? What happened on that ship?"
Carth answers "We ran into Malak. He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."
Mission chokes back a sob "You mean she's... she's dead?"
"Bah. Malak won't kill her, don't be foolish. He'll want to use her battle meditation against the Republic. Turn her to the dark side and the Sith will always be victorious." Jolee answers her.
I take a deep breath, "We can't help Bastila – not unless we find the Star Forge first."
"Not so fast. We've got a bigger issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you. Do you want to tell them what Malak said or should I?" Carth rounds on me, his expression as cold as ice. My heart fills with dread as I turn to face the man I have come to care for more than I have cared for anyone in my life and I feel ill. I knew this would come. I knew it as soon as Malak told us about my past and Bastila confirmed it aboard the Leviathan. Knew in my heart he would think that I had betrayed him.
Softly I appeal to him, my heart breaking "I don't care what Malak said! I'm not Darth Revan. I'm Skye Organa."
Mission looks at me, her jaw dropping open in shock "Revan? What... what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"
Carth continues to shoot daggers my way with his eyes "No, it's no joke. The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastila confirmed it."
Mission just stares at me "Your Darth Revan? This is... this is big. Do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?" Her curiosity gets the better of her.
I sigh and quietly answer as honestly as I can – Jolee and Juhani would know if I lied anyway and I do not wish to hurt anyone else. I have enough to try and deal with without creating more. "Small bits, a few strange dreams and visions. That's all"
"Just a few flashes? That's it? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem. It seems to me that if you don't remember anything about being Revan, than it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?" I can't believe Mission and look at her dumbfounded as she comes over and gives me a hug.
"Of course it still matters! How do we know more memories won't come flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us?" I wince as I hear the hatred in his voice as he says the name Revan. "The whole time we've been chasing after Malak and we've had his old Sith Master right at our side: listening to our secrets: hearing our plans!"
I look him in the eye, trying to appeal to him but coming up against a wall of ice. "But I'm not the Dark Lord anymore. I'm Skye Organa. I'm one of you." The tears starting to build behind my eyes.
Mission hugs me again before turning to Carth "I don't see the Sith Lord standing here. I see a friend who's been with us through thick and thin! Remember- Malak's the one who tried to destroy Taris"
Zaalbar turns to me "I agree with Mission. I swore a life-debt to the person you are, not the person you were."
"Big Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives: we won't desert you now." Mission glares at Carth and hugs me again.
"How can you say that Mission? The sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!" His words feel like physical blows.
Much to my surprise Canderous comes to my defense. "Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth. You can't blame Revan for that"
He looks around at everyone in the common room. All of them watching us both carefully. Backing down he says, "I... I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic by your actions so far. But can I trust you? Can any of us?"
I decide to go around the rest of the room, T3, Mission, Zaalbar and Canderous all show their support. Juhani had gone to the cockpit so I will have to ask her later. I turn to Jolee who surprises me even further.
"What about me? I already knew who you were, though it wasn't my place to tell you. Better off that you know if you ask me. Does it change anything? I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to and I'll help if I can."
I look at HK. "Commentary: I am experiencing something unusual master."
"Why, what's happening?"
"Answer: My programming is activating my deleted memory core. I believe I have a... a homing system that is restoring it master."
Cautiously I tell everyone to stand back.
"Observation: That is unnecessary master. My intent is not hostile. I am receiving no combat override commands. Observation: My homing system is a function of my assassination protocols ... that which I told you had been deactivated. This system was not. It seems that the homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon... upon returning to my original master"
I am shocked into replying "You mean Revan?"
"Affirmation: Correct master. Sith protocols maintain that all droid knowledge be deleted before assassination missions, and restore upon return. I have returned to you and my full functionality is under your command. It is a distinct pleasure to see you again master."
"I'm not exactly Revan anymore, HK-47"
"Observation: That does not matter master. I am your droid regardless of your actions and personality."
"Wow, what are the chances of that happening?" Mission exclaims.
Canderous laughs "Remember we're talking about the Force here. At this point Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash"
"Good point" Mission joins his laughter.
I turn to Carth once again and feeling very disheartened "Well Carth – will you stand with me against Malak?"
"Well the others seem to trust you... and I don't see any other way we can stop the Sith. And I suppose Malak is the real enemy here... I really don't have any other choice do I?" He looks to be fighting an internal battle.
Softly I appeal to him tears pricking my eyes once again "I'm not Revan anymore, you have to believe that." The tears spill over and run down my cheeks unchecked.
"I want to believe you. You've proven yourself time and again during our mission, but this is a little much for me to wrap my head around."
I can't help it, I'm sick of trying to convince him I'm not Revan and am almost hysterical trying to hold back the flood of tears that want to be shed. "How do you think I feel?"
It finally starts to hit him that I was as much in the dark about all this as he was and his voice softens alittle, "This must be even more of a shock to you. I don't know how you even keep going. I guess we both have to find a way to push forward." His voice hardens as his words drive another stake into my heart. "Don't worry – I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of my assignments or this mission. But don't forget: I've sworn an oath to defend the Republic!" His voice getting colder as he speaks. "As long as this mission stays on course, I'll stick with you. But I won't let you betray the Republic under any circumstances!" To everyone he says "So I guess that's it then... we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late."
As soon as he finishes speaking I turn and flee, heading not to the bunkroom but to the corner of the hold where the gym mats have been stacked. I crumple onto the mats and let the tears come forth – I can't hold them in any longer, my body racked with sobs. My heart feels like it is breaking and I feel very nauseated. Sick with the dread of all the things that Revan did, not me Skye Organa, but Revan. I had heard the stories and I can't believe that I could have been capable of any of it. I pull myself up to a sitting position hugging my knees tightly to my chest and focus inwards.
I feel my amethyst stone around my neck heat up as its soothing powers wash over me. I concentrate on the colours swirling around me, light colours of amethyst and white, glowing, healing and soothing me as I use them as my focus. My body relaxes and I release my knees, letting them fall so that I am in a cross-legged position and allow myself to sink into a deep meditative trance.
I remain there until we reach Manaan.