Chapter 2: A Rush of Cold Water to the Face
TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILER: None yet.
RATING: PG13. Might go to R in later chapters
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SUMMARY: Right before Rory & Lorelai's return from Europe, Luke decides he needs to talk to Lorelei about taking their relationship further. Christopher and Sherry have broken up and he also shows up in Stars Hollow, wanting to attempt another reconciliation with Lorelai. Rory, crushed after Jess abandons Stars Hollow becomes close to Dean once again. Dean starts to realize his wedding is a mistake.
Thanks for the great reviews everyone! I've corrected the mispelling of Lorelai's name.
She hung up the phone in a daze. Geez, was he ever going to get it?
Lorelai had expected this Friday to be another typical Rory-less evening. She'd order up some Chinese, watch a black-and-white flick on AMC, and get some killer quotes to throw at her daughter when she returned from dinner. She'd even held off on reading the latest InStyle magazine, something she was sure Michel would hold over her head all month. One of the things they most liked to do at the Inn was compare the guests to the monthly fashion photos. It was fun at the Independence, but at their new Dragonfly it was harder to do with all the construction that went on. Shouting out 'Versace' until the other party heard you could make you hoarse for days.
There she was. Ramble, ramble. Why did this always seem to happen whenever Christopher opened the door into her life?
Halfway through "The Little Foxes", the phone had rung. Following her natural response, she'd yelled "Rory", but it had taken her a moment to remember that Rory was at the Gilmore dinner. The dinner she now felt she was not invited to be a part of. Hoping for some distraction, she'd picked up the phone.
"Bette Davis central. If you need someone knocked off, please call back on Barbara Stanwyck night."
"I guess it's a good thing I didn't call on Veronica Lake night," Christopher laughed on the other end.
"Christopher!" she said, straightening up on the couch,"Hey, how are you?"
"Not bad. Just wanted to see how you and Rory were doing."
"Oh, just about the same. Emily and Richard love her. It's me they could do with out."
"Extra side of drama tonight."
"With a dose of self-pity to boot."
There was laughter on both ends. Lorelai got the impression that he had something he was reluctant to talk about.
"Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"How long do you want to play Lewis and Martin? This is me, remember. I can hear it in your voice. What's going on?"
"Sherry and I just had, you know, the 'talk'."
"Why Christopher Hayden! Didn't your father have that conversation with you some years back? Or was I mistaken? Is Rory an immaculate conception? Clergy must be consulted!"
"Ah, humor in the face of tragedy. Lore, it's serious. She's gone - they're gone."
"Come again. She up and left you?"
"It's complicated."
"Doesn't sound it. Or maybe it does. It doesn't sound like a Sherry-like thing to do? Did she call the movers while she was at it."
"Lore, could you please let me tell you what happened. I swear, this isn't a joke."
For the first time in many years, she could hear actual fear in his voice. Whatever had happened between him and Sherry, it was serious for her to take the baby and leave all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry, Chris. Go ahead and tell me. I promise not to interrupt. At least, not for a few minutes."
She heard him take a deep breath before he started up his story. "Well, ever since we brought the baby home, Sherry's been dropping hints about taking the final step in our relationship. Her family - and her friends too, I'm sure - think that since we're living together and have a baby-"
"-you should get married."
"Exactly. When she put the baby to sleep tonight, she came right out and asked me why I wouldn't marry. And also why I refused to see that she wanted to marry me. Lore, I knew in that moment what she confessed to me about two minutes later."
"And that was?"
"She got pregnant on purpose. Her words exactly were that it was to 'get you to see the importance of establishing a family.' And she mentioned timing...the fact neither one of us was getting any younger. Needless to say, she was pissed."
"Wow, heavy guilt trip there. What did you say?"
"Just about everything she didn't want to hear. I told her that I loved the baby and the life we were creating, but that I couldn't take that step. It wasn't something that would work for us."
"And you're surprised she left? Christopher, that was an incredibly cruel thing to say."
"Lorelai, I'm tired of lying. I went back to Sherry and Boston because I was obligated to do so. When she called to tell me she was pregnant-"
"Don't," she started. She could still see the way he'd looked that afternoon at Sookie's wedding. The heartbreak at seeing him walk away from her....and back to Sherry, still made her eyes tear up.
"Shit, Lorelai, I'm not going to keep this bottled up anymore!" he yelled on the other end,"I came back for my kid, not for Sherry. I knew I didn't love her when I first brought her to Stars Hollow to meet you and Rory! When you told me you were ready to get over me at Luke's-"
"Chris, please don't," she pleaded, "Don't open that door again."
"But Lorelai, don't you get it? It was a door I should never have closed. Being with you, knowing that the time was right and seeing the look on our daughter's face......that was right. Trying to force my way into a life I knew was wrong wasn't."
"It was what you thought was right-"
"Yeah, and we both now how great my judgement is when it comes to settling down," he laughed,"Whenever I try to do it, bang. It goes wrong."
"That's not true-"
"All I wanted that afternoon at Sookie's wedding was for you to tell me not to go," he confessed,"and for you to tell me you needed me. I was afraid to say anything. You know how great it's gone for us the last two times I've proposed."
"But your situation with Sherry has nothing to do with our history, Chris!" she screamed into the receiver. "You went back to her, regardless of what I did or did not do. It was your choice to make, and it has always been YOUR choice. When I didn't want to marry you after Rory was born, you chose to be absent from our lives. When I wouldn't marry after you first visited us in Stars Hollow, you started to do the same thing! This.....fear, isn't about me!"
"It is this time."
"Why?"
"Because I love you, goddammit! It's always been about you, don't you get it? Having you in my life is the only thing that's ever been consistent. It's the only thing that's made sense. No matter how much I've tried to drop out, you and Rory have always been the most important things in my life. Loving you is the only thing I've done right."
"Chris-"
"Lorelai, I love you. I'll find a way of working out a way to visit my daughter, but it's not going to involve marrying Sherry. She and I both know it's over romantically. We've known that since before the baby was born."
"How can you expect me to welcome this bit of news, Chris?" she cried,"This is just your fear talking. You and Sherry are probably having trouble adjusting to the newness of the baby in your lives-"
"It's not that simple, Lore, no matter how you try to rationalize it. The bottom line is I was right to want to be a part of Georgia's life, but I was wrong to shove you and Rory into second place. If I were to marry Sherry, it would be not just wrong - it would be cruel. I've ducked out on the first responsibity of my life and I'm not going to do it any longer."
She literally was devoid of smart comments or snappy judgements. Lorelai was stunned and could only manage a weak, "So what is it you plan to do?"
"Work out some custody agreement with Sherry, which won't be easy I know. But as I do that I'm going to be faithful to the one truth in my life. I've wasted enough time and I'm not wasting any more. Rory's starting college soon. I still have a shot at being more than her 'buddy' dad. I want the works - to be the kind of father neither one of us had."
"I really don't know what to say about all of this."
"Then don't say anything yet. All I want you to know is that I know I've been an asshole to you and Rory. She's been the kid but I've acted as one and that part's over as far as I'm concerned. I want back into your lives. I'm not giving up."
"God, Chris. I just can't say anything about all of this now."
"It's Ok, Lorelai. I'm not expecting you to say anything. Please just think about it OK? I want you....to be with you and make a life together. Just give it some thought, Ok?"
"Ok," she whispered,"I need to go. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied. She hung up the phone after hearing the dial tone. That's when her state of daze began.
It wasn't long afterwards that Rory walked in the door. After hanging her coat up on it's hook, she walked over and joined Lorelai on the couch.
"Another dinner completed in style," she said. "Grandpa asked about you and grandma immediately changed the subject.
Lorelai just shook her head.
"Mom, is everything OK? Did something happen while I was gone?"
"Oh, let's just say the boat has not only been rocked - it has been capsized."
"Maritime humor? Must be serious."
"It is. Rory, it's your dad. He and Sherry broke up."
"What? When did all this happen?"
"Just tonight" she answered, running nervous hands through her hair. "He called to tell me the news. She proposed - he declined?"
"Because of you?"
"And you. Because he wants to be with us. Rory, honey, he wants to be in our lives. Permanently, it seems."
Rory felt numb. It was similar to having a hundred vials of Novocaine suddenly injected into her body at the same time. Her father had broken up his new family because he wanted to form the one he should have years ago. Childhood dreams did have a way of coming back to bite a person in the ass.
"I need to go to my room," she said,"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I just need.....want. I just have to be alone right now."
"It's ok, sweetheart," Lorelei said, putting her arm around Rory's shoulder and giving her a half hug. "We can talk more about this tomorrow."
Rory kissed her mother on the cheek, got up and went straight to her room. Closing the door behind her, she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She felt so unimaginably guilty. Who could she call at this moment, when an earthquake had schismed her expectations. There was only one person that came to mind.
Using her cellphone, she pressed the speed dial number. Three rings was all it took.
"Hello?"
"Dean, it's Rory. I know it's late, but can you please meet me. I'm sorry to bother you...but it's........it's my father. Can you meet me at Miss Patty's in an hour."
"Sure, no problem. You OK? What's going on?"
"I'll tell you then. Please, Dean, I really need to talk to someone."
"I'll see you in an hour."
"See you."
Rory felt that if she didn't talk to someone, she'd scream. Should she be happy? Guilty? Mad as hell?
TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILER: None yet.
RATING: PG13. Might go to R in later chapters
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SUMMARY: Right before Rory & Lorelai's return from Europe, Luke decides he needs to talk to Lorelei about taking their relationship further. Christopher and Sherry have broken up and he also shows up in Stars Hollow, wanting to attempt another reconciliation with Lorelai. Rory, crushed after Jess abandons Stars Hollow becomes close to Dean once again. Dean starts to realize his wedding is a mistake.
Thanks for the great reviews everyone! I've corrected the mispelling of Lorelai's name.
She hung up the phone in a daze. Geez, was he ever going to get it?
Lorelai had expected this Friday to be another typical Rory-less evening. She'd order up some Chinese, watch a black-and-white flick on AMC, and get some killer quotes to throw at her daughter when she returned from dinner. She'd even held off on reading the latest InStyle magazine, something she was sure Michel would hold over her head all month. One of the things they most liked to do at the Inn was compare the guests to the monthly fashion photos. It was fun at the Independence, but at their new Dragonfly it was harder to do with all the construction that went on. Shouting out 'Versace' until the other party heard you could make you hoarse for days.
There she was. Ramble, ramble. Why did this always seem to happen whenever Christopher opened the door into her life?
Halfway through "The Little Foxes", the phone had rung. Following her natural response, she'd yelled "Rory", but it had taken her a moment to remember that Rory was at the Gilmore dinner. The dinner she now felt she was not invited to be a part of. Hoping for some distraction, she'd picked up the phone.
"Bette Davis central. If you need someone knocked off, please call back on Barbara Stanwyck night."
"I guess it's a good thing I didn't call on Veronica Lake night," Christopher laughed on the other end.
"Christopher!" she said, straightening up on the couch,"Hey, how are you?"
"Not bad. Just wanted to see how you and Rory were doing."
"Oh, just about the same. Emily and Richard love her. It's me they could do with out."
"Extra side of drama tonight."
"With a dose of self-pity to boot."
There was laughter on both ends. Lorelai got the impression that he had something he was reluctant to talk about.
"Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"How long do you want to play Lewis and Martin? This is me, remember. I can hear it in your voice. What's going on?"
"Sherry and I just had, you know, the 'talk'."
"Why Christopher Hayden! Didn't your father have that conversation with you some years back? Or was I mistaken? Is Rory an immaculate conception? Clergy must be consulted!"
"Ah, humor in the face of tragedy. Lore, it's serious. She's gone - they're gone."
"Come again. She up and left you?"
"It's complicated."
"Doesn't sound it. Or maybe it does. It doesn't sound like a Sherry-like thing to do? Did she call the movers while she was at it."
"Lore, could you please let me tell you what happened. I swear, this isn't a joke."
For the first time in many years, she could hear actual fear in his voice. Whatever had happened between him and Sherry, it was serious for her to take the baby and leave all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry, Chris. Go ahead and tell me. I promise not to interrupt. At least, not for a few minutes."
She heard him take a deep breath before he started up his story. "Well, ever since we brought the baby home, Sherry's been dropping hints about taking the final step in our relationship. Her family - and her friends too, I'm sure - think that since we're living together and have a baby-"
"-you should get married."
"Exactly. When she put the baby to sleep tonight, she came right out and asked me why I wouldn't marry. And also why I refused to see that she wanted to marry me. Lore, I knew in that moment what she confessed to me about two minutes later."
"And that was?"
"She got pregnant on purpose. Her words exactly were that it was to 'get you to see the importance of establishing a family.' And she mentioned timing...the fact neither one of us was getting any younger. Needless to say, she was pissed."
"Wow, heavy guilt trip there. What did you say?"
"Just about everything she didn't want to hear. I told her that I loved the baby and the life we were creating, but that I couldn't take that step. It wasn't something that would work for us."
"And you're surprised she left? Christopher, that was an incredibly cruel thing to say."
"Lorelai, I'm tired of lying. I went back to Sherry and Boston because I was obligated to do so. When she called to tell me she was pregnant-"
"Don't," she started. She could still see the way he'd looked that afternoon at Sookie's wedding. The heartbreak at seeing him walk away from her....and back to Sherry, still made her eyes tear up.
"Shit, Lorelai, I'm not going to keep this bottled up anymore!" he yelled on the other end,"I came back for my kid, not for Sherry. I knew I didn't love her when I first brought her to Stars Hollow to meet you and Rory! When you told me you were ready to get over me at Luke's-"
"Chris, please don't," she pleaded, "Don't open that door again."
"But Lorelai, don't you get it? It was a door I should never have closed. Being with you, knowing that the time was right and seeing the look on our daughter's face......that was right. Trying to force my way into a life I knew was wrong wasn't."
"It was what you thought was right-"
"Yeah, and we both now how great my judgement is when it comes to settling down," he laughed,"Whenever I try to do it, bang. It goes wrong."
"That's not true-"
"All I wanted that afternoon at Sookie's wedding was for you to tell me not to go," he confessed,"and for you to tell me you needed me. I was afraid to say anything. You know how great it's gone for us the last two times I've proposed."
"But your situation with Sherry has nothing to do with our history, Chris!" she screamed into the receiver. "You went back to her, regardless of what I did or did not do. It was your choice to make, and it has always been YOUR choice. When I didn't want to marry you after Rory was born, you chose to be absent from our lives. When I wouldn't marry after you first visited us in Stars Hollow, you started to do the same thing! This.....fear, isn't about me!"
"It is this time."
"Why?"
"Because I love you, goddammit! It's always been about you, don't you get it? Having you in my life is the only thing that's ever been consistent. It's the only thing that's made sense. No matter how much I've tried to drop out, you and Rory have always been the most important things in my life. Loving you is the only thing I've done right."
"Chris-"
"Lorelai, I love you. I'll find a way of working out a way to visit my daughter, but it's not going to involve marrying Sherry. She and I both know it's over romantically. We've known that since before the baby was born."
"How can you expect me to welcome this bit of news, Chris?" she cried,"This is just your fear talking. You and Sherry are probably having trouble adjusting to the newness of the baby in your lives-"
"It's not that simple, Lore, no matter how you try to rationalize it. The bottom line is I was right to want to be a part of Georgia's life, but I was wrong to shove you and Rory into second place. If I were to marry Sherry, it would be not just wrong - it would be cruel. I've ducked out on the first responsibity of my life and I'm not going to do it any longer."
She literally was devoid of smart comments or snappy judgements. Lorelai was stunned and could only manage a weak, "So what is it you plan to do?"
"Work out some custody agreement with Sherry, which won't be easy I know. But as I do that I'm going to be faithful to the one truth in my life. I've wasted enough time and I'm not wasting any more. Rory's starting college soon. I still have a shot at being more than her 'buddy' dad. I want the works - to be the kind of father neither one of us had."
"I really don't know what to say about all of this."
"Then don't say anything yet. All I want you to know is that I know I've been an asshole to you and Rory. She's been the kid but I've acted as one and that part's over as far as I'm concerned. I want back into your lives. I'm not giving up."
"God, Chris. I just can't say anything about all of this now."
"It's Ok, Lorelai. I'm not expecting you to say anything. Please just think about it OK? I want you....to be with you and make a life together. Just give it some thought, Ok?"
"Ok," she whispered,"I need to go. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied. She hung up the phone after hearing the dial tone. That's when her state of daze began.
It wasn't long afterwards that Rory walked in the door. After hanging her coat up on it's hook, she walked over and joined Lorelai on the couch.
"Another dinner completed in style," she said. "Grandpa asked about you and grandma immediately changed the subject.
Lorelai just shook her head.
"Mom, is everything OK? Did something happen while I was gone?"
"Oh, let's just say the boat has not only been rocked - it has been capsized."
"Maritime humor? Must be serious."
"It is. Rory, it's your dad. He and Sherry broke up."
"What? When did all this happen?"
"Just tonight" she answered, running nervous hands through her hair. "He called to tell me the news. She proposed - he declined?"
"Because of you?"
"And you. Because he wants to be with us. Rory, honey, he wants to be in our lives. Permanently, it seems."
Rory felt numb. It was similar to having a hundred vials of Novocaine suddenly injected into her body at the same time. Her father had broken up his new family because he wanted to form the one he should have years ago. Childhood dreams did have a way of coming back to bite a person in the ass.
"I need to go to my room," she said,"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I just need.....want. I just have to be alone right now."
"It's ok, sweetheart," Lorelei said, putting her arm around Rory's shoulder and giving her a half hug. "We can talk more about this tomorrow."
Rory kissed her mother on the cheek, got up and went straight to her room. Closing the door behind her, she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She felt so unimaginably guilty. Who could she call at this moment, when an earthquake had schismed her expectations. There was only one person that came to mind.
Using her cellphone, she pressed the speed dial number. Three rings was all it took.
"Hello?"
"Dean, it's Rory. I know it's late, but can you please meet me. I'm sorry to bother you...but it's........it's my father. Can you meet me at Miss Patty's in an hour."
"Sure, no problem. You OK? What's going on?"
"I'll tell you then. Please, Dean, I really need to talk to someone."
"I'll see you in an hour."
"See you."
Rory felt that if she didn't talk to someone, she'd scream. Should she be happy? Guilty? Mad as hell?