TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: Definitly R here. Will go back to PG/PG13 in other chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SUMMARY: Right before Rory & Lorelai's return from Europe, Luke decides he needs to talk to Lorelei about taking their relationship further. Christopher and Sherry have broken up and he also shows up in Stars Hollow, wanting to attempt another reconciliation with Lorelai. Rory, crushed after Jess abandons Stars Hollow becomes close to Dean once again. Dean starts to realize his wedding is a mistake.
Thanks for the great reviews everyone! I've corrected the mispelling of Lorelai's name.
Chapter 3: Seven Nation Army
It was nearly one o'clock in the morning, he was on his way to Miss Patty's studio and he was mad as hell. This evening had been going bad and Dean just knew it was about to get worse. First, a major fight with Lindsay and now a frantic phone call from Rory out of the blue?
Some guys had all the luck.
He'd gotten dressed in the dark and was sure he looked it. Not that he cared at this point - it wasn't like he was on his way to a date or anything of the sort. Seeing as his last conversation with Rory had gone as well as the "Survivor" finale, Dean figured clothes were the least of his concern. His first response when Rory asked to meet him was to tell her exactly where to stick it. Something in her voice, however, had changed his mind. Quietly, he crept down the hall, taking extra precaution when he walked outside Clara's room. She was a very light sleeper.
God the staircase creaked at night! He hadn't had the opportunity to sneak out at night since his family had arrived in Stars Hollow and from the sound of things it didn't look as if he would have had much luck. His parents tended to look the other way when it came to him lately anyway. They weren't exactly thrilled with the direction his life had taken. Lindsay, who they seemed to like when they'd first gotten engaged had somehow run out of charm. Dean couldn't understand what had happened but there was some sort of quiet war going on between Lindsay and his parents. They'd suggested he postpone the wedding and when he'd brought up the argument to Lindsay at dinner that evening, she nearly exploded. It wasn't going to make the upcoming rehearsal dinner any easier on either of them. Lindsay was decidedly short-tempered lately.
For the life of him, Dean couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Was he cursed to have inexplicable conflicts in every relationship in his life. It wasn't fair.
It was a brisk walk over to Miss Patty's. Summer had been hard in coming this year and it was still much cooler than it should be in Stars Hollow. The breeze shook the budding leaves ominously. Next thing you know, the buzzards would come out and bellow around his head. The perfect end to a hellish Friday. He walked up the door and saw the thin line of light underneath the frame and knocked. Rory opened the door.
"Okay, I don't even want to know how you got in. Someone's really got to tell Miss Patty to get better locks on her doors."
"Dean," she sighed,"I'm sorry that I asked you to come out like this. It's just that.........damnit, I don't even know where to begin."
She was swearing? Add to that the fact her red rimmed eyes gave away the fact she'd been crying for some time.
"Rory, what the hell IS going on? We don't speak for months and when you do decide to call me, it's like this....to meet you semisecretly in the middle of the night? What gives?"
She started to cry again and he felt a pang of guilt. "Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd want to talk to me after .......after you told me about your engagement."
"Let's not even go there right now," he said, cutting her off,"You made your opinion clear and it was hurtful enough the first time. I don't need to hear it again and this conversation isn't about me. Tell me what happened."
"It's my father, Dean. He's.....shit, I don't know all the details, but Mom told me he and Sherry broke up tonight."
He remembered last summer at Sookie's wedding, when all of Stars Hollow was buzzing with gossip about Lorelai and Christopher's reconciliation. They'd been very romantic that afternoon, holding hands and kissing. Rory had never been happier. Of course, that all changed after the wedding itself. It had taken weeks for him to get the full story of what had changed. Add to that the Jess situation and it made for pain all around.
"What went wrong? He's alright isn't he?"
"I wish I knew," she said, sniffling gently,"but to me it's the same sorry shit he's been pulling for years. He tries out a family, decides it's not working for him and takes the previous one for another test run. God, I just know what's coming next. He'll be back in Stars Hollow full of half-assed promises for my mom and me. Everything will be fine for a day or so and then he'll go against anything and everything he's promised. Geez, I can't go through this again! She can't go through this again!"
Rory was yelling and pacing, her arms gesturing madly. In a fit of anger, she took off the denim jacket she was wearing and threw it to the ground.
"Dean, I realize you're the last person who should be here for me now. I basically threw away our relationship and insulted you when you told me about your engagement. I'm sorry for everything. It's just that-"
"Rory, come on. The past is the past-"
"I'm scared as hell that I'm turning into him! Don't you see? All of my actions are mirroring how he's behaved."
"With the simple exception that neither one of us is pregnant," he added quickly. That got a smile out of her at least.
She stopped her pacing and looked down at the floor for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she laughed lightly. It was ironic that her father's news had inspired what had been on her mind all summer long.
Dean watched her as she sat down on the yoga mats. Whatever was going on had more going on that Christopher's news. He walked over to where she was and sat beside her on the floor.
"Rory, it's been a long night for you. The news about your father....and you're getting used to Stars Hollow again after two months away. And then there's Yale. All of it mixed together makes for major freak out time. It's a hard time for you and I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this."
A tear rolled down her cheek and he felt the indescribable need to brush it away with his hand. Her face was flushed and he could feel the softness of her cheek. Here they were again, he thought to himself. Back in Miss Patty's studio only with no book to lull them to sleep. He hadn't felt this awake in months.
"Thank you," she whispered,"for coming to see me. I wanted to call you all summer long but I felt awful about our last conversation. It was wrong of me to say what I did."
His hand brushed her cheek and found itself holding her own. Dean smiled at her and shook his head. "Rory, it's done. You were angry. I was angry. But at least I got to pummel Jess."
She sighed,"I hadn't thought about him for weeks. You, however....well, I regret."
"Regret what?" he said, their faces getting closer.
"Not valuing what we had," she said, her face mere inches from Dean's. "I really did love you, you know."
"And I really did love you, Rory."
No words were spoken for what seemed like ages as their faces met. Softly, he kissed her, brushing her lower lip with his own. Unexpectedly, the kiss grew stronger and he cupped her face with his hands. Drinking in the taste of her, Dean felt surrounded by memories of the past. Of what this studio had meant in their relationship. Of everything Rory had been in his life.
But there was someone in his life now. Someone who didn't deserve this betrayal. Dean broke off the kiss and looked away.
"Rory, this is wrong. We shouldn't be here......kissing. It's wrong to Lindsay," grudingly he added,"and to Jess."
"He's not in my life anymore," she said, placing her own hand on his cheek and turning his face so that their eyes met again, "and he never should have been. Some doors should remain closed. I learned that with him the hard way."
"But I have Lindsay in my life," he said,"and she doesn't deserve this stab in the back."
"Can you honestly say you regret kissing me just now?"
He couldn't answer her. It was like revisiting the past, being here with her, surrounded by the sound of her voice and the scent of her skin. Lindsay was in his life. She was a part of him, but this feeling. How could he explain it to Rory when he couldn't even explain it to himself?"
"Rory, I should really leave-"
"Please don't," she pleaded, her eyes filled with tears,"You don't have to do or say anything. Just please stay with me now."
He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Rory, if I stay here now - No, I can't do this dammit"
She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him intensely. He felt her tongue searching for his as they began to hug. Their bodies swayed as his heart raced.
"Rory, oh God-"
"Dean, please don't leave me," she whispered as Dean kissed her cheeks,"I know I don't deserve you and that I wasted so much of our relationship. If this is all the time we have, I'll take it."
They fall back onto the mats. He couldn't remember ever being with Rory like this. She hungered for him, and he for her as well. He ran his hands over her hair, her shoulders.
To his incredible surprise, she took his hands and placed them on her breasts. He stopped kissing her and stared down at her in utter fascination. When he began to talk, she silenced him by placing a finger on his lips.
"Dean, no. Let's not ruin this with words. I don't want words tonight. All I want is you and me.....together."
She brought his face down to her own and whispered into his ear,"Undress me."
"Rory, are you sure about this? I don't want to hurt you."
"You'll hurt me more if you don't," she replied. "Please, Dean, give me something that's real."
They sat up at the same time. He removed his jacket at the same time that she began to remove his t-shirt. Her face turned a million shades of red as she asked,"Do you have....anything?"
As he nodded, Dean uttered a silent prayer of thanks to his father for insisting that he keep a condom in his wallet at all times. Rory smiled as she shyly began to unbutton her shirt. He noticed her hands were trembling and he stopped her.
"Let me," he said. Her blue eyes met his and he could almost listen to her heart. She was flushed, but determined.
"I want you to know," she she uttered quietly,"it's always been you. I was just too stupid to realize it until I put an ocean between us. My wanting you....it never stopped."
Those words rang in his thoughts as he placed his jacket atop the mats underneath Rory. He continued to undress her as she began to undo the top button of his jeans. He could barely hold himself from ravaging her in a frenzy when he felt her hands on his hips.
He lowered himself gently atop her as he removed her skirt, kissing her neck as he did so. "God, Rory, it's been the same for me. You....everywhere. Always."
She smiled as they made love. He would always remember the sound of the yoga mats underneath the weight of their bodies. He could never forget the creaking of the wood floor or the sensation of utter ecstacy of Rory's face in the dim lights as they became one.........
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: Definitly R here. Will go back to PG/PG13 in other chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SUMMARY: Right before Rory & Lorelai's return from Europe, Luke decides he needs to talk to Lorelei about taking their relationship further. Christopher and Sherry have broken up and he also shows up in Stars Hollow, wanting to attempt another reconciliation with Lorelai. Rory, crushed after Jess abandons Stars Hollow becomes close to Dean once again. Dean starts to realize his wedding is a mistake.
Thanks for the great reviews everyone! I've corrected the mispelling of Lorelai's name.
Chapter 3: Seven Nation Army
It was nearly one o'clock in the morning, he was on his way to Miss Patty's studio and he was mad as hell. This evening had been going bad and Dean just knew it was about to get worse. First, a major fight with Lindsay and now a frantic phone call from Rory out of the blue?
Some guys had all the luck.
He'd gotten dressed in the dark and was sure he looked it. Not that he cared at this point - it wasn't like he was on his way to a date or anything of the sort. Seeing as his last conversation with Rory had gone as well as the "Survivor" finale, Dean figured clothes were the least of his concern. His first response when Rory asked to meet him was to tell her exactly where to stick it. Something in her voice, however, had changed his mind. Quietly, he crept down the hall, taking extra precaution when he walked outside Clara's room. She was a very light sleeper.
God the staircase creaked at night! He hadn't had the opportunity to sneak out at night since his family had arrived in Stars Hollow and from the sound of things it didn't look as if he would have had much luck. His parents tended to look the other way when it came to him lately anyway. They weren't exactly thrilled with the direction his life had taken. Lindsay, who they seemed to like when they'd first gotten engaged had somehow run out of charm. Dean couldn't understand what had happened but there was some sort of quiet war going on between Lindsay and his parents. They'd suggested he postpone the wedding and when he'd brought up the argument to Lindsay at dinner that evening, she nearly exploded. It wasn't going to make the upcoming rehearsal dinner any easier on either of them. Lindsay was decidedly short-tempered lately.
For the life of him, Dean couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Was he cursed to have inexplicable conflicts in every relationship in his life. It wasn't fair.
It was a brisk walk over to Miss Patty's. Summer had been hard in coming this year and it was still much cooler than it should be in Stars Hollow. The breeze shook the budding leaves ominously. Next thing you know, the buzzards would come out and bellow around his head. The perfect end to a hellish Friday. He walked up the door and saw the thin line of light underneath the frame and knocked. Rory opened the door.
"Okay, I don't even want to know how you got in. Someone's really got to tell Miss Patty to get better locks on her doors."
"Dean," she sighed,"I'm sorry that I asked you to come out like this. It's just that.........damnit, I don't even know where to begin."
She was swearing? Add to that the fact her red rimmed eyes gave away the fact she'd been crying for some time.
"Rory, what the hell IS going on? We don't speak for months and when you do decide to call me, it's like this....to meet you semisecretly in the middle of the night? What gives?"
She started to cry again and he felt a pang of guilt. "Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd want to talk to me after .......after you told me about your engagement."
"Let's not even go there right now," he said, cutting her off,"You made your opinion clear and it was hurtful enough the first time. I don't need to hear it again and this conversation isn't about me. Tell me what happened."
"It's my father, Dean. He's.....shit, I don't know all the details, but Mom told me he and Sherry broke up tonight."
He remembered last summer at Sookie's wedding, when all of Stars Hollow was buzzing with gossip about Lorelai and Christopher's reconciliation. They'd been very romantic that afternoon, holding hands and kissing. Rory had never been happier. Of course, that all changed after the wedding itself. It had taken weeks for him to get the full story of what had changed. Add to that the Jess situation and it made for pain all around.
"What went wrong? He's alright isn't he?"
"I wish I knew," she said, sniffling gently,"but to me it's the same sorry shit he's been pulling for years. He tries out a family, decides it's not working for him and takes the previous one for another test run. God, I just know what's coming next. He'll be back in Stars Hollow full of half-assed promises for my mom and me. Everything will be fine for a day or so and then he'll go against anything and everything he's promised. Geez, I can't go through this again! She can't go through this again!"
Rory was yelling and pacing, her arms gesturing madly. In a fit of anger, she took off the denim jacket she was wearing and threw it to the ground.
"Dean, I realize you're the last person who should be here for me now. I basically threw away our relationship and insulted you when you told me about your engagement. I'm sorry for everything. It's just that-"
"Rory, come on. The past is the past-"
"I'm scared as hell that I'm turning into him! Don't you see? All of my actions are mirroring how he's behaved."
"With the simple exception that neither one of us is pregnant," he added quickly. That got a smile out of her at least.
She stopped her pacing and looked down at the floor for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she laughed lightly. It was ironic that her father's news had inspired what had been on her mind all summer long.
Dean watched her as she sat down on the yoga mats. Whatever was going on had more going on that Christopher's news. He walked over to where she was and sat beside her on the floor.
"Rory, it's been a long night for you. The news about your father....and you're getting used to Stars Hollow again after two months away. And then there's Yale. All of it mixed together makes for major freak out time. It's a hard time for you and I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this."
A tear rolled down her cheek and he felt the indescribable need to brush it away with his hand. Her face was flushed and he could feel the softness of her cheek. Here they were again, he thought to himself. Back in Miss Patty's studio only with no book to lull them to sleep. He hadn't felt this awake in months.
"Thank you," she whispered,"for coming to see me. I wanted to call you all summer long but I felt awful about our last conversation. It was wrong of me to say what I did."
His hand brushed her cheek and found itself holding her own. Dean smiled at her and shook his head. "Rory, it's done. You were angry. I was angry. But at least I got to pummel Jess."
She sighed,"I hadn't thought about him for weeks. You, however....well, I regret."
"Regret what?" he said, their faces getting closer.
"Not valuing what we had," she said, her face mere inches from Dean's. "I really did love you, you know."
"And I really did love you, Rory."
No words were spoken for what seemed like ages as their faces met. Softly, he kissed her, brushing her lower lip with his own. Unexpectedly, the kiss grew stronger and he cupped her face with his hands. Drinking in the taste of her, Dean felt surrounded by memories of the past. Of what this studio had meant in their relationship. Of everything Rory had been in his life.
But there was someone in his life now. Someone who didn't deserve this betrayal. Dean broke off the kiss and looked away.
"Rory, this is wrong. We shouldn't be here......kissing. It's wrong to Lindsay," grudingly he added,"and to Jess."
"He's not in my life anymore," she said, placing her own hand on his cheek and turning his face so that their eyes met again, "and he never should have been. Some doors should remain closed. I learned that with him the hard way."
"But I have Lindsay in my life," he said,"and she doesn't deserve this stab in the back."
"Can you honestly say you regret kissing me just now?"
He couldn't answer her. It was like revisiting the past, being here with her, surrounded by the sound of her voice and the scent of her skin. Lindsay was in his life. She was a part of him, but this feeling. How could he explain it to Rory when he couldn't even explain it to himself?"
"Rory, I should really leave-"
"Please don't," she pleaded, her eyes filled with tears,"You don't have to do or say anything. Just please stay with me now."
He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Rory, if I stay here now - No, I can't do this dammit"
She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him intensely. He felt her tongue searching for his as they began to hug. Their bodies swayed as his heart raced.
"Rory, oh God-"
"Dean, please don't leave me," she whispered as Dean kissed her cheeks,"I know I don't deserve you and that I wasted so much of our relationship. If this is all the time we have, I'll take it."
They fall back onto the mats. He couldn't remember ever being with Rory like this. She hungered for him, and he for her as well. He ran his hands over her hair, her shoulders.
To his incredible surprise, she took his hands and placed them on her breasts. He stopped kissing her and stared down at her in utter fascination. When he began to talk, she silenced him by placing a finger on his lips.
"Dean, no. Let's not ruin this with words. I don't want words tonight. All I want is you and me.....together."
She brought his face down to her own and whispered into his ear,"Undress me."
"Rory, are you sure about this? I don't want to hurt you."
"You'll hurt me more if you don't," she replied. "Please, Dean, give me something that's real."
They sat up at the same time. He removed his jacket at the same time that she began to remove his t-shirt. Her face turned a million shades of red as she asked,"Do you have....anything?"
As he nodded, Dean uttered a silent prayer of thanks to his father for insisting that he keep a condom in his wallet at all times. Rory smiled as she shyly began to unbutton her shirt. He noticed her hands were trembling and he stopped her.
"Let me," he said. Her blue eyes met his and he could almost listen to her heart. She was flushed, but determined.
"I want you to know," she she uttered quietly,"it's always been you. I was just too stupid to realize it until I put an ocean between us. My wanting you....it never stopped."
Those words rang in his thoughts as he placed his jacket atop the mats underneath Rory. He continued to undress her as she began to undo the top button of his jeans. He could barely hold himself from ravaging her in a frenzy when he felt her hands on his hips.
He lowered himself gently atop her as he removed her skirt, kissing her neck as he did so. "God, Rory, it's been the same for me. You....everywhere. Always."
She smiled as they made love. He would always remember the sound of the yoga mats underneath the weight of their bodies. He could never forget the creaking of the wood floor or the sensation of utter ecstacy of Rory's face in the dim lights as they became one.........