TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: PG/PG13 here, but will go to R in a few chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SONG CREDIT: Doris Day, "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
Thanks for much for all the great reviews! I promise to keep the story going on all through the summer.
"Music."
"What?"
"It's the music. That's why I'm not getting anywhere."
"No, you're not getting anywhere because you keep going over 21," Luke replied with a laugh,"so it really doesn't matter what you blame it on."
"I just can't concentrate," Lorelai interjected,"and you are taking advantage of a desperate, worried mother. Taking all my money - the nerve!"
"Do I need to remind you that we've been playing for nickels? I've won all of 95 cents."
"So not the point!" she replied, walking her way towards the CD player,"Let's see if some of Rory's tunes will bring me some luck." Lorelai pressed play.
You won't admit you love me
And so
How am I ever
To know
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
"Ah, Patrick", she sighed,"the cupboard of your love would come in handy right about now."
"Come again?" Luke asked, shuffling the cards for their next game.
"Ah, nothing. This is just the theme song for a show Rory and I watch. I never thought Doris Day would make a comeback, but there you go."
"Miss DJ, think you want to get back into the game? That is, unless you plan on taking dedication."
There was no answer from Lorelai. She stood by the CD player completely still with her back to him. Luke put the cards down on the coffee table and stood up, walking the few steps to where she was.
"Lorelai, are you alright?"
As he saw her face, she began to cry. Luke put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her, but she barely moved.
"Luke, I'm scared."
"She's going to be alright. Look, if she's not home in fifteen minutes, I swear we'll go out looking for her. We can even go wake Taylor up and have the Town Council conduct an official search."
"No, that's not what I meant. I don't think I've set a very good example for her....with relationships. And Christopher's situation now isn't exactly helping either."
"You can't change what's already happened," he interjected,"and I think you're being a little hard on yourself. The decisions you've made about the relationships haven't been easy, I'll give you that, but can you honestly say you'd change them?"
"Luke, that's not the point," she sighed,"it's just that.....damn. We, Christopher and I, take one step forward and five steps back. The minute we seem to have things in perspective, we throw it to hell. And it sets a precedent for Rory."
"She's fine, Lorelai. All she needs is some time."
"Time for what, Luke? Time to show her how incredibly screwed up we are? Every time I get into a relationship, I run from it. Chris does the same thing. We don't show her a full effort. We're never around long enough to try. God, Luke, what am I doing to my kid?"
She broke down into painful sobs right before him. Luke turned her around and embraced her, patting her back softly as she cried on his shoulder.
"Lorelai, it's going to be alright. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. She'll get back soon and you'll talk the way you always do. No damage is irreversible."
"I wish it were that easy-"
"Then make it. You can chastise yourself all you want, Lorelai, but you're not going to convince me of your Joan Crawford mothering habits. Sure you screw up-"
"Majorly-"
"-but you always make it better. You don't avoid the hard decisions and you don't shelter Rory from them. Offering a kid choices is a hell of a lot better than taking the safe route."
She lifted her head and smiled up at him, still in his embrace. As she thought of something to say, she wondered how it was that Luke always managed to make her feel so safe. Granted, she knew that she was due for a very long, drawn out talk with Rory but at the moment, being with Luke felt....right.
She could stop herself but didn't want to....
He could stop himself but didn't try to......
Their faces were separated by only inches, when Lorelai suddenly bridged the divide. She placed her hand behind his head and kissed him tenderly. The kiss intensified and Lorelai cupped her hands behind his head, letting herself go with the moment.
Luke didn't know what the hell to think. One minute, he was being the thoughtful friend and the next minute he was living out a dream. He placed his hands on her waist as they kissed. It was the culmination of many years' pent-up desire and longing.
So if you really love me
Say yes
But if you don't, dear,
Confess
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Longing only to stay with her, Dean found it hard to let Rory go. They stood on the porch kissing, his hands cupping her face. When their kiss broke, he barely felt the cold night air in the shadow of the warm smile she gave him. Could there be anything better than this moment? He found it hard to believe there could.
"Tomorrow's going to be a hard day," she said with a nervous laugh.
"And it starts today," he replied,"but I don't care."
"You don't?" she wondered.
"I get you, don't I? That's worth all the hell in the world."
"Dean, that's so....so incredibly sweet," Rory said, touched by the simple honesty behind his words,"and I can't think of a single thing to say in response. So much for my excellent SAT scores, huh?"
"You don't need to say anything, Rory," Dean answered as he stroked her face with his hand. "Some truths don't need overstatement."
"Very well stated."
"Let's say I feel inspired."
"Dean?"
"Rory?"
"Can I just say once more that I'm scared?"
"Consider it said," he said,"and remember that I'm in this with you. I love you."
"I so don't deserve you."
"Yes, you do," he whispered, kissing her very slowly on the lips. "I'm the lucky one."
"If you go Dawson's on me, I swear the violence will be astounding."
"Point taken," he laughed.
"I'd better get in," Rory said,"It's pretty late. We both need our rest."
"And I've got one hell of day coming up tomorrow," Dean replied,"so sleep might be hard to achieve."
"So then-"
"Yes, tomorrow," he replied quickly. "I'm not letting this linger. Lindsay deserves to know the truth. It's not going to be easy, but there's no other way."
"Dean?"
"Yes?"
"Did I mention how I love you?"
"Mention it all you want," he laughed,"but we're going to spring some cavities unless you get inside."
"Invoking the dental clause? That's a sure way to say goodnight," Rory said, laughing as she broke from their embrace to open her front door. "So I'll see you tomorrow."
"Damn right. I'll call you after all hell breaks loose."
"We're going to be the news in Stars Hollow tomorrow, you know that?"
"Yep," he said smiling as she walked in the door.
"Just promise me one thing, Dean."
"And that would be?"
"Don't call me sweetie. Or babe. Or take my popcorn when we're watching movies."
"Done and done," he agreed,"now get inside before your mom comes out with the shotgun."
Rory blew him a kiss before closing the door behind her. The lights were on in the living room, but Lorelai was nowhere to be found. As she took off her jacket, and walked over to the coffee table, she saw a deck of cards and 2 coffee cups. Strange.
"Mom?" she called out. There was no response. She walked into the kitchen where she found a hastily written note:
Rory,
Hope you're home and not lying in a ditch somewhere. Well, if you were in a ditch then how could you be reading this, right? Anyhow, I just needed to go out for a drive to clear my thoughts. Will be home soon.
Mom
She shook her head incredulously. What the hell was going on? This was turning out to be the weirdest night ever.
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: PG/PG13 here, but will go to R in a few chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SONG CREDIT: Doris Day, "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
Thanks for much for all the great reviews! I promise to keep the story going on all through the summer.
"Music."
"What?"
"It's the music. That's why I'm not getting anywhere."
"No, you're not getting anywhere because you keep going over 21," Luke replied with a laugh,"so it really doesn't matter what you blame it on."
"I just can't concentrate," Lorelai interjected,"and you are taking advantage of a desperate, worried mother. Taking all my money - the nerve!"
"Do I need to remind you that we've been playing for nickels? I've won all of 95 cents."
"So not the point!" she replied, walking her way towards the CD player,"Let's see if some of Rory's tunes will bring me some luck." Lorelai pressed play.
You won't admit you love me
And so
How am I ever
To know
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
"Ah, Patrick", she sighed,"the cupboard of your love would come in handy right about now."
"Come again?" Luke asked, shuffling the cards for their next game.
"Ah, nothing. This is just the theme song for a show Rory and I watch. I never thought Doris Day would make a comeback, but there you go."
"Miss DJ, think you want to get back into the game? That is, unless you plan on taking dedication."
There was no answer from Lorelai. She stood by the CD player completely still with her back to him. Luke put the cards down on the coffee table and stood up, walking the few steps to where she was.
"Lorelai, are you alright?"
As he saw her face, she began to cry. Luke put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her, but she barely moved.
"Luke, I'm scared."
"She's going to be alright. Look, if she's not home in fifteen minutes, I swear we'll go out looking for her. We can even go wake Taylor up and have the Town Council conduct an official search."
"No, that's not what I meant. I don't think I've set a very good example for her....with relationships. And Christopher's situation now isn't exactly helping either."
"You can't change what's already happened," he interjected,"and I think you're being a little hard on yourself. The decisions you've made about the relationships haven't been easy, I'll give you that, but can you honestly say you'd change them?"
"Luke, that's not the point," she sighed,"it's just that.....damn. We, Christopher and I, take one step forward and five steps back. The minute we seem to have things in perspective, we throw it to hell. And it sets a precedent for Rory."
"She's fine, Lorelai. All she needs is some time."
"Time for what, Luke? Time to show her how incredibly screwed up we are? Every time I get into a relationship, I run from it. Chris does the same thing. We don't show her a full effort. We're never around long enough to try. God, Luke, what am I doing to my kid?"
She broke down into painful sobs right before him. Luke turned her around and embraced her, patting her back softly as she cried on his shoulder.
"Lorelai, it's going to be alright. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. She'll get back soon and you'll talk the way you always do. No damage is irreversible."
"I wish it were that easy-"
"Then make it. You can chastise yourself all you want, Lorelai, but you're not going to convince me of your Joan Crawford mothering habits. Sure you screw up-"
"Majorly-"
"-but you always make it better. You don't avoid the hard decisions and you don't shelter Rory from them. Offering a kid choices is a hell of a lot better than taking the safe route."
She lifted her head and smiled up at him, still in his embrace. As she thought of something to say, she wondered how it was that Luke always managed to make her feel so safe. Granted, she knew that she was due for a very long, drawn out talk with Rory but at the moment, being with Luke felt....right.
She could stop herself but didn't want to....
He could stop himself but didn't try to......
Their faces were separated by only inches, when Lorelai suddenly bridged the divide. She placed her hand behind his head and kissed him tenderly. The kiss intensified and Lorelai cupped her hands behind his head, letting herself go with the moment.
Luke didn't know what the hell to think. One minute, he was being the thoughtful friend and the next minute he was living out a dream. He placed his hands on her waist as they kissed. It was the culmination of many years' pent-up desire and longing.
So if you really love me
Say yes
But if you don't, dear,
Confess
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Longing only to stay with her, Dean found it hard to let Rory go. They stood on the porch kissing, his hands cupping her face. When their kiss broke, he barely felt the cold night air in the shadow of the warm smile she gave him. Could there be anything better than this moment? He found it hard to believe there could.
"Tomorrow's going to be a hard day," she said with a nervous laugh.
"And it starts today," he replied,"but I don't care."
"You don't?" she wondered.
"I get you, don't I? That's worth all the hell in the world."
"Dean, that's so....so incredibly sweet," Rory said, touched by the simple honesty behind his words,"and I can't think of a single thing to say in response. So much for my excellent SAT scores, huh?"
"You don't need to say anything, Rory," Dean answered as he stroked her face with his hand. "Some truths don't need overstatement."
"Very well stated."
"Let's say I feel inspired."
"Dean?"
"Rory?"
"Can I just say once more that I'm scared?"
"Consider it said," he said,"and remember that I'm in this with you. I love you."
"I so don't deserve you."
"Yes, you do," he whispered, kissing her very slowly on the lips. "I'm the lucky one."
"If you go Dawson's on me, I swear the violence will be astounding."
"Point taken," he laughed.
"I'd better get in," Rory said,"It's pretty late. We both need our rest."
"And I've got one hell of day coming up tomorrow," Dean replied,"so sleep might be hard to achieve."
"So then-"
"Yes, tomorrow," he replied quickly. "I'm not letting this linger. Lindsay deserves to know the truth. It's not going to be easy, but there's no other way."
"Dean?"
"Yes?"
"Did I mention how I love you?"
"Mention it all you want," he laughed,"but we're going to spring some cavities unless you get inside."
"Invoking the dental clause? That's a sure way to say goodnight," Rory said, laughing as she broke from their embrace to open her front door. "So I'll see you tomorrow."
"Damn right. I'll call you after all hell breaks loose."
"We're going to be the news in Stars Hollow tomorrow, you know that?"
"Yep," he said smiling as she walked in the door.
"Just promise me one thing, Dean."
"And that would be?"
"Don't call me sweetie. Or babe. Or take my popcorn when we're watching movies."
"Done and done," he agreed,"now get inside before your mom comes out with the shotgun."
Rory blew him a kiss before closing the door behind her. The lights were on in the living room, but Lorelai was nowhere to be found. As she took off her jacket, and walked over to the coffee table, she saw a deck of cards and 2 coffee cups. Strange.
"Mom?" she called out. There was no response. She walked into the kitchen where she found a hastily written note:
Rory,
Hope you're home and not lying in a ditch somewhere. Well, if you were in a ditch then how could you be reading this, right? Anyhow, I just needed to go out for a drive to clear my thoughts. Will be home soon.
Mom
She shook her head incredulously. What the hell was going on? This was turning out to be the weirdest night ever.