TITLE: Bravery & First Steps
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: PG/PG13 here, but will go to R in a few chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SONG CREDIT: Mazzy Star, "Fade into You"
Thanks so much for the great feedback my readers have sent me. The story's going to continue to develop. Things are going to get complicated in upcoming chapters.
"Ever think you're dreaming when you're really awake?"
"No, Vanilla Sky's just a movie, Lorelai," Luke replied, laughing as he drove back into her driveway and parked right outside of the closed garage doors.
"Wrong plotline, right idea," she replied as they both got out of the car,"I just.....God, this has been the weirdest night ever. But in a good way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There they were, in her living room, making out like a couple of teenagers. Tumbling onto the couch, Lorelai felt Luke's hands roaming down her back as he kissed her passionately. Her own hands were doing a bit of exploring as well, as she felt the muscles of his back clenching and tightening in response to their kissing. She lay back and he was atop her, the heat of his mouth tracing kisses along her jawline.
"Luke," she managed to say weakly.
"What?" he answered.
"Do you think this is a good idea?"
Those words froze him. He sat up immediately at a distance from her. Lorelai sat up as well. They sat together on the couch, neither one of them knowing what to say.
"I'm.....I'm sorry," she stammered.
"Don't be," he answered quickly,"Because I'm not."
"Not about that."
"Come again?"
"Luke, I'm not sorry about what just happened between us," she whispered,"I'm just sorry about the timing. I mean the news about Christopher.....Rory taking off. Everything's just so out of control."
"Yeah."
"That's all you're going to say?" she questioned angrily.
"I just feel kinda rotten."
"For what? Kissing me?"
"No," he interjected,"and yes. I just don't want you to think I'm-"
"You're what?"
"Taking advantage of you!" he yelled. "Jesus, Lorelai, do you know how hard this is for me? All I've thought of for months now is you and tonight I have you in my arms and all I can feel is guilt. Rory's missing and we should be out looking for her but I just had you in my arms. That's all I can think of right now."
He'd been thinking about her. That was all Lorelai's mind could process. Sookie had told her, Emily had told her, and secretly maybe she'd known all along that he thought of her as more than just a friend. She'd tried to convince herself that everyone was wrong and that her own instincts about Luke were wrong as well. It was the only way she could get away with denying her own attraction to him.
"You've thought of me?" she said,"you really have?"
He was about to bite back with a stinging comment until he turned to look at her. Lorelai had such a hopeful expression on her face. Luke couldn't remember ever seeing such softness in her eyes.
"Yes," he replied.
"Since when?"
"For a long time now," he admitted,"but the timing was never right."
"I know what you mean," Lorelai replied, taking his hand. He looked down immediately as she clasped his hand with her own. That one simple motion said volumes.
"I guess I'm just a coward," he laughed. She didn't let go of his hand.
"Ditto that," she said.
He stood up, still holding her hand. "Let's get out of here."
"Afraid of being alone with me?" she joked, as she stood up She was secretly fearing his answer.
Luke took a step towards her and stood very still. His face was dangerously close to her own, but he made no move to kiss her. "Not at all," he answered,"but-"
"-but what?" she slurred hoarsely.
Those blue eyes dared him to answer. She was there, just as he'd always wanted her to be. The temptation to kiss her was great, but Luke knew the timing of it was way off.
"After we find Rory, you and I are going to have a nice long talk."
"Just talk?" she teased.
He closed the gap between them and kissed her passionately. Letting go of her hand, he took her by the waist and gave himself in completely to kissing her. Softly, he opened her mouth with his, provoking a small sigh of pleasure. When their kiss broke, she looked up at him in astonishment. There wasn't one clever quirk she could think of in response.
"Oh, it won't be all talk," he promised. "Now let's go try to find your kid."
He took her hand again and they walked outside to his truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patiently, Rory waited for her mother to get back. She was still mentally debating whether or not to confess to Lorelai what had happened with Dean. It wasn't going to be an easy situation, that much she knew, especially given her mother's history. Rory felt extremely conflicted as to how much she should confess. To try to pass the time, she turned on the radio in her bedroom. As she was about to turn the dial, a very familiar song came on.
I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with what's not there.
Her first formal dance at Chilton. Dean holding her tightly on the dance floor. That wonderous sensation of belonging. Of being in the right place with the right person.
Her eyes were colored, that much was true, but they were fragmented with what was there in her life. Christopher's indecision with his own life was provoking her to make decisions within her own. Decisions that she had put off for far too long. There was no reason to waste any more time with self-doubts and guilt. Ever since her last conversation in Stars Hollow with Dean, she'd known how wrong her choices had been. Throughout her backpack trip in Europe, he'd been in her thoughts. Now that she was granted another chance, she didn't care about fear or consequences. She didn't care how hard it was.
Dean was back in her life. Rory smiled as she lay back onto her bed. As she closed her eyes, she heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. She looked out her window and saw Luke and Lorelai walking towards the porch. They were.....holding hands?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They walked up to her front door. "I feel like we just had our first date," she laughed.
"It feels the same way for me," he agreed, standing by the door in front of her. "But I am sorry we didn't find Rory"
"It's Ok," she replied,"her bedroom light is on, so she's home. Time for a talk. I get to play the mother role."
"Yay you."
"Yay me."
"Lorelai, I-"
"You what?"
"You are the damndest woman to talk to, I hope you realize that."
"It's all part of my mythical charm, or so I'm told."
"But you know what you really need?"
"No, what?"
"Quiet time," he murmured, planting a light kiss on her lips,"because even though you're beautiful when you speak, you are indescribably gorgeous when you don't."
"Quite the talker."
"Quite the charmer."
"I want to see you tomorrow," he said earnestly.
"You mean at the diner," she teased.
"I think you know damn well I don't mean at the diner. I want to see you alone."
"Well, we've only just had our first date. I should play hard to get.......not take your calls......primp."
"I'll cook."
"What time's good for you?"
He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Be there at nine, okay? I might even bake you a pie."
"That's a deal, mister," she said as she unlocked the door. "And Luke?"
"Yeah?"
She was afraid to admit how very much she'd missed him. And how happy she was that they were finally on the right track.
"Me, too," he admitted,"More than you know."
A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart
Lorelai nodded and walked into the house. From her living room window, she watched him drive away.
Her back to the door, Lorelai sighed and walked into the house. How had such a horrible night taken such a wonderful turn? It was mind boggling. She had to tell Rory.
Wait. She had to be angry first and then tell Rory. Or should she skip the anger and work on the guilt?
Lorelai walked over to Rory's door and knocked. "Rory, honey, are you awake? Can I come in?"
~~~~~
AUTHOR: medeagddss@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask permission first.
SPOILERS: None yet.
RATING: PG/PG13 here, but will go to R in a few chapters.
PAIRING: Luke/Lorelai, Rory/Dean
SONG CREDIT: Mazzy Star, "Fade into You"
Thanks so much for the great feedback my readers have sent me. The story's going to continue to develop. Things are going to get complicated in upcoming chapters.
"Ever think you're dreaming when you're really awake?"
"No, Vanilla Sky's just a movie, Lorelai," Luke replied, laughing as he drove back into her driveway and parked right outside of the closed garage doors.
"Wrong plotline, right idea," she replied as they both got out of the car,"I just.....God, this has been the weirdest night ever. But in a good way."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There they were, in her living room, making out like a couple of teenagers. Tumbling onto the couch, Lorelai felt Luke's hands roaming down her back as he kissed her passionately. Her own hands were doing a bit of exploring as well, as she felt the muscles of his back clenching and tightening in response to their kissing. She lay back and he was atop her, the heat of his mouth tracing kisses along her jawline.
"Luke," she managed to say weakly.
"What?" he answered.
"Do you think this is a good idea?"
Those words froze him. He sat up immediately at a distance from her. Lorelai sat up as well. They sat together on the couch, neither one of them knowing what to say.
"I'm.....I'm sorry," she stammered.
"Don't be," he answered quickly,"Because I'm not."
"Not about that."
"Come again?"
"Luke, I'm not sorry about what just happened between us," she whispered,"I'm just sorry about the timing. I mean the news about Christopher.....Rory taking off. Everything's just so out of control."
"Yeah."
"That's all you're going to say?" she questioned angrily.
"I just feel kinda rotten."
"For what? Kissing me?"
"No," he interjected,"and yes. I just don't want you to think I'm-"
"You're what?"
"Taking advantage of you!" he yelled. "Jesus, Lorelai, do you know how hard this is for me? All I've thought of for months now is you and tonight I have you in my arms and all I can feel is guilt. Rory's missing and we should be out looking for her but I just had you in my arms. That's all I can think of right now."
He'd been thinking about her. That was all Lorelai's mind could process. Sookie had told her, Emily had told her, and secretly maybe she'd known all along that he thought of her as more than just a friend. She'd tried to convince herself that everyone was wrong and that her own instincts about Luke were wrong as well. It was the only way she could get away with denying her own attraction to him.
"You've thought of me?" she said,"you really have?"
He was about to bite back with a stinging comment until he turned to look at her. Lorelai had such a hopeful expression on her face. Luke couldn't remember ever seeing such softness in her eyes.
"Yes," he replied.
"Since when?"
"For a long time now," he admitted,"but the timing was never right."
"I know what you mean," Lorelai replied, taking his hand. He looked down immediately as she clasped his hand with her own. That one simple motion said volumes.
"I guess I'm just a coward," he laughed. She didn't let go of his hand.
"Ditto that," she said.
He stood up, still holding her hand. "Let's get out of here."
"Afraid of being alone with me?" she joked, as she stood up She was secretly fearing his answer.
Luke took a step towards her and stood very still. His face was dangerously close to her own, but he made no move to kiss her. "Not at all," he answered,"but-"
"-but what?" she slurred hoarsely.
Those blue eyes dared him to answer. She was there, just as he'd always wanted her to be. The temptation to kiss her was great, but Luke knew the timing of it was way off.
"After we find Rory, you and I are going to have a nice long talk."
"Just talk?" she teased.
He closed the gap between them and kissed her passionately. Letting go of her hand, he took her by the waist and gave himself in completely to kissing her. Softly, he opened her mouth with his, provoking a small sigh of pleasure. When their kiss broke, she looked up at him in astonishment. There wasn't one clever quirk she could think of in response.
"Oh, it won't be all talk," he promised. "Now let's go try to find your kid."
He took her hand again and they walked outside to his truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patiently, Rory waited for her mother to get back. She was still mentally debating whether or not to confess to Lorelai what had happened with Dean. It wasn't going to be an easy situation, that much she knew, especially given her mother's history. Rory felt extremely conflicted as to how much she should confess. To try to pass the time, she turned on the radio in her bedroom. As she was about to turn the dial, a very familiar song came on.
I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with what's not there.
Her first formal dance at Chilton. Dean holding her tightly on the dance floor. That wonderous sensation of belonging. Of being in the right place with the right person.
Her eyes were colored, that much was true, but they were fragmented with what was there in her life. Christopher's indecision with his own life was provoking her to make decisions within her own. Decisions that she had put off for far too long. There was no reason to waste any more time with self-doubts and guilt. Ever since her last conversation in Stars Hollow with Dean, she'd known how wrong her choices had been. Throughout her backpack trip in Europe, he'd been in her thoughts. Now that she was granted another chance, she didn't care about fear or consequences. She didn't care how hard it was.
Dean was back in her life. Rory smiled as she lay back onto her bed. As she closed her eyes, she heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. She looked out her window and saw Luke and Lorelai walking towards the porch. They were.....holding hands?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They walked up to her front door. "I feel like we just had our first date," she laughed.
"It feels the same way for me," he agreed, standing by the door in front of her. "But I am sorry we didn't find Rory"
"It's Ok," she replied,"her bedroom light is on, so she's home. Time for a talk. I get to play the mother role."
"Yay you."
"Yay me."
"Lorelai, I-"
"You what?"
"You are the damndest woman to talk to, I hope you realize that."
"It's all part of my mythical charm, or so I'm told."
"But you know what you really need?"
"No, what?"
"Quiet time," he murmured, planting a light kiss on her lips,"because even though you're beautiful when you speak, you are indescribably gorgeous when you don't."
"Quite the talker."
"Quite the charmer."
"I want to see you tomorrow," he said earnestly.
"You mean at the diner," she teased.
"I think you know damn well I don't mean at the diner. I want to see you alone."
"Well, we've only just had our first date. I should play hard to get.......not take your calls......primp."
"I'll cook."
"What time's good for you?"
He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Be there at nine, okay? I might even bake you a pie."
"That's a deal, mister," she said as she unlocked the door. "And Luke?"
"Yeah?"
She was afraid to admit how very much she'd missed him. And how happy she was that they were finally on the right track.
"Me, too," he admitted,"More than you know."
A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart
Lorelai nodded and walked into the house. From her living room window, she watched him drive away.
Her back to the door, Lorelai sighed and walked into the house. How had such a horrible night taken such a wonderful turn? It was mind boggling. She had to tell Rory.
Wait. She had to be angry first and then tell Rory. Or should she skip the anger and work on the guilt?
Lorelai walked over to Rory's door and knocked. "Rory, honey, are you awake? Can I come in?"
~~~~~