Authors' Note: Here is my twelfth chapter, thank you all again for such wonderful reviews. The dream in this chapter will be in italics so you don't get confused. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien's work.
Chapter 12 Dreams
Lintelin wrinkled up her nose as she put the first forkful of my food in her mouth. If Haldir had not been there, I know she would have commented, but instead she remained quiet. I felt my patience wearing thin. She had not even answered my question. The elleth waited for a few tense minutes to pass by before she finally spoke.
"Well, there is not much to say about my life. My parents are over in Valinor, as well as yours and Haldir's are. I have always had a talent for fighting and many other things," she raised her eyes to mine and seemed to wait for me to challenge her. I nodded, locks of my hair falling from behind my ears. I pushed them back hastily, not wanting her to see how poor my tresses looked. "So as you know, I joined the guard a few months ago and have been training hard since then." I played with my food, suddenly feeling self conscious as I used to in the presence of other ellith. Before I had met or married Haldir I had been a very unsociable elf. I did not have the courage to make friends and after I had been teased almost mercilessly about my marriage to Haldir, I had just given up, being content with just my husband and brothers-in-law. My lack of social skills seemed to be showing quite clearly now. I know I should have said something, anything to break the silence. Why in the name of the Valar was Haldir being quiet? I lifted my eyes slightly and saw him eating with great appetite, completely oblivious to my predicament. Well, I was on my own now. My mind raced, looking for a subject that would leave me able to eat my dinner in peace. I felt a wave of nausea come over me and knew that it was not due to the elfling growing in my womb. Finally I blurted something out almost at random.
"Do you have a sweetheart?" I could not believe that I had just said that. But that was thanks to my subconscious mind. At first, I regretted my question, but then I realized that it may help me. If she did have a sweetheart of her own then she would not be after Haldir. I managed to smile, proud of myself for once. Lintelin observed me coolly for awhile. She took another forkful of food, wrinkled her nose and then answered.
"No, not as of yet," she said. "But I do wish to have one." Then as of wanting to send me some sort of unspoken message, she put her glance firmly upon my dear Haldir. I felt dizziness overcome me. I almost fainted. My composure was completely shattered and it would remain that way. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes and I willed them to stay there. My husband leaned over and gently stroked back my hair.
"Elenwen are you ill again?" he asked softly. I shook my head vigorously and looked into his eyes. He smiled and kissed my forehead, then went back to his meal. There was still love behind his touch though. I began to assure myself as he picked up the slack of my conversation. He loved me and that was all that mattered. I fell silent and remained that way for the rest of the meal.
It was late in the night. I rolled over restlessly and instinctively put my arm out to embrace Haldir. But my hand met with an empty space. I shook myself awake and sat up. He was not home yet, it had to be near midnight. I sighed, being used to this by now. All worry that I might have had became a dull sense inside me instead of a throbbing fear which was acclimated with fresh worry. His nights had become later and later, and now they had finally leveled off. It had been this way for a month and as my morning illness disappeared, my night worry increased. I turned to lie on my back, laying my hand habitually on top of the growing bulge that was my baby. Everything would be alright, I assured myself, he would be home soon. Haldir loved me, that was all that mattered. Finally after a few minutes, I was able to doze back off into an uneasy sleep which was wracked with frightful nightmares. My mind wandered as I became trapped in yet another one.
I was standing in an unfamiliar flet. It was quite small, not much bigger than ours. From a side room came a noise. Being my normal curious self, I decided to investigate. There was a door in front of me, opened just a crack, but still it was wide enough to let a small stream of light seep through onto the wood floor. I extended my hand and pushed it open. It moved slowly, with a loud creak almost identical to the one our door made. But when I was finally able to peer into the room, I gasped and stepped back. There was my beloved Haldir, his arms wrapped around Lintelin. They were kissing, both completely unaware of my presence. I felt hot tears begin to slide down my cheeks as they looked up.
"Haldir! Haldir!" I chorused reaching out to him. He smiled spitefully and kissed Lintelin all the more. I was hysterical now, tearing at my hair, letting cries of agony escape my lips. "Haldir! Haldir!" I continued to cry, but he ignored me becoming all the more passionate with the other elleth. Suddenly, as I was about to throw myself at his feet, begging for him to stop, I heard another sound behind me. It was the sound of laughter. I spun on my heels to see those wretched maidens who had laughed at me when they had heard of my marriage. And now they continued their torment, almost frozen in my memory. The leader stepped forward once more, her face filled with mirth.
"See Elenwen," she teased. "We told you it wouldn't last. We told you that he wouldn't stay for long." I wanted to argue with them, but I could not. A strange sensation bought my silence. Something was moving, squirming inside of me. I looked down and realized.
I sat up with a start. My body was drenched with sweat along with the bedclothes and I was shaking. But I did not heed any of this. My fear quickly melted away and turned to joy. I felt the squirming continue and I caressed the spot on which it came from.
"Haldir!" I cried once more, this time happiness behind my words. "Haldir the baby is moving! Come and feel!" But he did not respond, I raised my head and glanced out the bedroom door. The flet was the same as it had been when I had fallen asleep, empty.
Ellith: Female elves
Elleth: Female elf