Authors' Note: Here is my thirteenth chapter. Just so no one is confused, this chapter takes place two months after the last one and Elenwen is six months into her pregnancy, so she is halfway along. I still cannot believe that I have gotten so many wonderful reviews. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien's work.
Chapter 13 Winter
It was the first snowfall of the winter. I watched as the flakes fell to the earth, landing soundlessly on the ground. The branches of the mellyrn were quickly becoming coated with the white powder. I sat in a cushioned chair, my eyes following the descent of one flake in particular. The child squirmed in my womb, now with much more force than it had two months ago. Oh, how upset Haldir had been that night when I told him that he had missed it. He had cradled me in his arms, apologizing many times. I tried not to let my mind wander back to that terrible night, but it did against my will.
/Flashback/
"Oh meleth nin, I beg you to forgive me."
"It is alright my love," I let him embrace me, but I did not hug him back. My heart felt like it had sunk deep into the depths of my body and my eyes beheld him sorrowfully. He had arrived home shortly after and found me crying in bed. My emotions seemed to have gotten more unpredictable in this stage of the pregnancy. I had fought back tears many times and for no reason. "Where were you?" I asked him softly. "Why were you not home with me?"
"I am sorry, I had to…" But I did not let him finish, anger was boiling within me.
"You were with Lintelin again weren't you!" tears again began to pour down my face once more. I was near exhausted from crying.
"I have to train her Elenwen, it is my job," he was patient leaning over to nuzzle my neck gently. I pushed him away, feeling disgusted.
"I am carrying your child Haldir!" the volume of my voice increased and it became shriller. "I need you with me! I want you with me!" He sat back and wet his lips with a look of frustration.
"I do not know what you would have me do," he dropped his head. "It has always been like this. Nothing has changed."
"But things have changed!" with this I grabbed his large hand and laid it upon the small bulge that was our child. He swallowed and lifted his head, massaging his hand gently over the spot.
"I shall speak with Lord Celeborn," my husband replied. "Mayhap he can give me some time off."
/End Flashback/
But unfortunately, the Lord of Lorien did not see it fit for Haldir to leave the guard at that time. However he did manage to cut back his hours on which he trained Lintelin, having his one of his brothers practice with her instead. I was grateful for this, being halfway through my pregnancy now. I knew that my husband was trying his best. Sometimes he would leave bouquets of flowers on our table for me in the morning with sweet little love notes. I held one of these in my hands, a smile spreading across my face as I read it. He wrote so passionately and so full of love that I could hardly believe that he would ever hurt me. I felt giddy, as though we had just begun to court each other and our love was still young. Excitement moved inside me, but perhaps that was just our child. I sighed, knowing that I had an appointment with the healers in the late morning. Part of me wished to stay inside, warm and dry against the snow. But the other part wished to leave my flet and traipse through the beautiful white drifts, like I had done when I was an elfling. I imagined our child, a few years off from now, chasing the snowflakes and catching them on his or her tongue. Haldir and I would sit back and watch, smiling happily at the youngster's enthusiasm. I got up slowly, finding this more difficult this days. No longer did I possess the grace of my kin in my rising and sitting. Sometimes I thought of traveling outside my body, just to have a laugh or two at my ridiculous movements. Yet knowing that this was impossible I contented myself with the mental image, letting a few giggles come to me.
There was no one else in the healers except a young elf maiden, needing a small cut she attained while preparing a meal stitched. She smiled politely at me and I smiled back, but immediately dropped my head afterwards, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. I prayed to the Valar that she would not try to start some conversation consisting of small talk with me. I wanted to attend to my own business in private and not be disrupted. But the Valar must have answered my prayers for once, for the other elleth was seen to and left shortly after. The healer smiled at me, the only female I didn't mind seeing and ushered me into the examination room. She asked me many questions, which I answered and then gently felt my abdomen.
"Can you tell what gender the child is?" I questioned softly. She straightened, keeping her ever present smile.
"Why? Do you wish for the child to be a certain sex?"
"No, no," I shook my head, "I was just curious. I thought if you knew, then perhaps, my husband and I could start thinking of names."
"Well, I am very sorry, but I cannot tell the sex of the child," she then got a mischievous grin and lowered her voice. "But I know that every mother wishes to have a little elleth. Even though they are overjoyed at the birth of a son, they hope for a daughter." I looked at her quite bewildered. This had not even crossed my mind. The healer must have noticed my confusion when she next spoke, for she answered quickly. "That is not to say that they love the son less. And every elf is different, some wish for a male. But is has just been my experience that the mothers desire a girl while the fathers desire a boy." I would have said something, had she not hurried into her next question. "Speaking of fathers, has your husband been spending plenty of time with you?" I was taken aback and remained silent for a few minutes.
"He is the March Warden," I finally managed to stutter. "So he is sometimes delayed in his homecoming. But I know that he loves me and wishes that he could be home more often." The healers smile faded suddenly and I felt fear come over me.
"Tell him that he must try his best to be home as often as he can," she said seriously. "It is important for your health and well being. Make sure he understands that." I nodded and hopped up off the examining table, wanting to depart from her firm glance and serious manner at once.
I took the scenic route back to my flet, requiring some time to think. The snow was falling much heavier now and it landed in my blond hair, making it look white. My mind was deeply immersed in its own thoughts, so at first I did not hear Haldir laughing. But when I did, I was tempted to keep on walking, due to my previous bad experiences in the forest when I had heard something and decided to investigate. Yet, I had to find out and could not stop myself. With a deep sigh of determination I rounded the bend to see what my husband was doing.
Elleth: Female elf