Hey guys! :D Thanks for all the support, and the reviews! I've just found out that fanfiction was down for a while on the 25th and lost four of my reviews… :C that's a major sad face. Oh well…

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters associated with the show. I do own Lissa, though.

Thanks to:

karenandmarcofan

Yelak- I think I'm going to make Dylan in the story a little bit later.

sister-cousin

smoothNcreamy

aisha

Lauran

Sorry if I forgot you!

In this chapter: Ellie, Ellie's mom, Lissa, Lissa's parents, Ashley, and Marco.

Onward…

~*~

Ellie pulled the key out of her book bag and slowly unlocked the door. She dreaded entering her house because she knew that she was going to find her mom in her usual state: passed out on the couch from all her booze. A tear slowly trickled down her cheek as she thought of all the nights she spent alone, holding a knife to her arm, trying to release all of the pain. With no support from her mom, and her dad off to war, Ellie knew that was her only choice. To help sooth some of her pain.

She sighed and braced herself for the scene. She pushed the door open and to no surprise, her mom was seemingly unconscious on the couch, bottles of vodka and wine scattered all over the coffee table and littering the floor. Her mother was a mess, her hair uncombed, bags under her eyes, and she was visibly gaining weight.

"Mom?" Ellie said softly. There was no response from her mother. Ellie rolled her eyes and threw her book bag on the couch next to her mother. *Why does this have to happen to me?* She thought sadly.

"Mom!" Ellie started to shake her mother, but again no response, not even the usual groan. "Mom, why do you do this to me?" Ellie shouted, tears streaming her cheeks. Her makeup was running into her eyes. She didn't care.

"WAKE UP!" Ellie screamed, but to no avail. *Maybe something is really wrong.* She thought, kind of concerned. But her concern was short lived as her mother let out her usual groan. Ellie again rolled her eyes. She picked up her book bag and headed to the kitchen. She opened the cabinet and pulled out a steak knife.

Ellie immediately pulled down her striped arm warmer and lifted the knife to her wrist. She pulled the knife down her wrist as if she was used to this (AN: Well, she was used to it… okay…). She watched the blood drip into the sink, enjoying the comfort that it was giving her.

*Now that that's done, I might as well start my homework.* Ellie thought. With one final glance at her mom, she went up to her room and slammed the door shut. She didn't care about the groan of agony she heard downstairs from her mother.

~*~

Lissa entered her humongous house, greeted at the door by her butler. He took her coat and book bag (AN: Do butler's do that? Ha ha, I don't know) and Lissa's mom and dad came out from the living room.

"Lissa!" Her mother smiled at her, pleased to see her. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and said, "How was your first day?"

"Ugh, mom don't even ask. I think I made a big fool out of myself." Lissa replied, looking at the floor. Her mother looked concerned for some reason.

"A fool?" Her mother asked, "Why do you say that?" They walked into the living room together and took a seat on the couch. Her father was seated in his leather chair, just to the left of them. He was talking on the phone.

"Because… well…" Lissa started. *Gosh, here it comes. Why did I have to mention the 'making a fool out of myself' thing? I never tell her who I like.* Lissa thought, still staring at the floor, thinking. Her mother waited for her to continue.

"Well, I kind of like this boy. But you know, I don't know if I really like him in that way because well, I just met him today but he seems like a really nice person. I just, I know I like him because every time I'm around him my face turns red like a cherry and I get all nervous and--" Lissa rambled. She immediately felt embarrassed again and her face lit up red.

"Honey, I don't know what to tell you." Was all her mother could say. Lissa looked stunned. *Okay, I confide in her and this is was I get? 'I don't know what to tell you' what kind of an answer is that?* Lissa thought, really annoyed with her mother.

Lissa mumbled a "Thanks a lot." To her mother and started up the marble staircase to her room. But her father's voice stopped her.

"Lissa, I need your help with something." Lissa rolled her eyes. Usually when her father said that, or even talked to her it was about business. Just as she expected, her father rambled on and on about his business agreement. Lissa tuned out most of it with thoughts of Marco. When her father realized she wasn't listening, he sighed.

"Lissa, how do you expect to succeed in life if you don't even listen to what I have to say?" Her father asked impatiently. Lissa scowled.

"Dad, I always listen to you. I listened to you when you were talking about the Johnston agreement. I listened to you when you said something about the Keppleburgs' yacht and how you thought that it was a piece of trash and is unreasonable to sell at $500,000. I even listened to you when we were watching TV that one night and you rambled on and on about the stock market and price changes. You know what father? The problem is you never listen to me." Lissa stated, surprising herself. She never stood up to her father like that. But he just laughed and said:

"Of course I wasn't listening to you. I was talking to my business partner in the US. He was talking about making it big…" Her father droned on and on. *See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.* Lissa tuned him out then and walked up to her room.

~*~

The next day at school, after talking to her mom about Charles and the limousine, her mother decided that they should take the BMW from now on. But it wasn't easy, Lissa had to do a lot of begging and pleading with her.

"Thanks for the ride, Mom." Lissa said and stepped out of the car and into the school quickly. She saw Ellie talking to Marco and Ashley and walked over to greet them.

"Hey!" She said, really in Marco's direction. They all smiled at her and said 'hey' back.

"So… what have you been doing?" Marco asked her.

"Oh, a whole bunch of exciting things. I went home, told my mother about my, erm, day, listened to my father drone on and on about business, did my homework and listened to music." Lissa said sarcastically. Marco laughed.

"Sounds like fun." He replied. Lissa grinned. *Oh my gosh, does he know I'm flirting with him?* She thought.

"Ahem," A voice said. It was Ellie. "We're here, you know." She motioned to herself and Ashley. They both turned to each other and started laughing. Lissa's face turned the same familiar color.

"Stop it, guys. Come on, we've got to get to class," Marco said nervously. He knew that there were still five minutes until class started.

"Well, I'm going to go to my locker. See you guys in Media Immersion." Lissa said to Ellie and Marco, then she left.

"Umm, Marco? Can I speak to you in private?" Ellie asked him. "Is that okay, Ash?" She asked her other friend.

"Okay with me." Ashley said and walked off somewhere to talk to some people that Ellie and Marco didn't know. They walked outside and chose a seat on the bench.

"So… are you going to tell Lissa that you're…" Ellie started, she watched some students pass and waited until they were gone to say the word, "gay." Marco's eyes got really big. *Oh, don't look so stunned.* Ellie thought.

"What do you mean?" Marco asked, absolutely clueless. Ellie rolled her eyes and put her head in her hands.

"She likes you, Marco." She said bluntly. Marco still looked stunned.

"She doesn't like me. Besides, I'm not really ready to… you know, come out yet." Marco whispered.

"Marco, come on. Do you see the way she looks at you? Her face? Are you absolutely blind? You have to tell her soon before she gets hurt… like I did." Ellie said, her face getting really solemn. Marco felt really bad for her. He didn't know what to say, so he asked her about her last statement.

"Did I really hurt you that bad, El?" He said, trying to meet her gaze to see what she was thinking. Her eyes were filled with hurt and pain.

"Oh, look at the time, come on, we're going to be late for MI." Was Ellie's answer, as she jumped up quickly and headed back into the school. A confused Marco followed her.

~*~

After MI, Ellie headed into the washroom with Lissa, talking about Marco. Lissa's face stayed beet red most of the time, but that was normal for her.

"Lissa, there's something about him that you don't know." Ellie said. She wasn't going to tell Lissa that he was gay, that was his business.

"Oh really?" Lissa asked innocently. "What is it?"

"He can tell you if he wants to." Ellie stated, looking in the mirror and fixing her eye liner. Lissa messed with her bangs a little.

"Okay then." Lissa said simply. Ellie was glad she didn't press the matter, but she didn't know why she brought it up in the first place. She now regretted it. Ellie didn't notice, but as she was fixing her makeup, her arm warmer happened to slide down. Lissa's gaze was fixed on her arm, littered with cuts and scars.

"What the hell?" Lissa asked, stunned. Ellie looked confused. *What is Lissa talking about?* She thought. Her thoughts were soon answered when she followed her gaze to her arm.

"What the hell did you do to yourself?" Lissa asked, really mad. Before Ellie could protest, Lissa grabbed her arm and pulled the warmer down. Her eyes were transfixed on her arm. About twenty cuts were clearly visible, while dozens of scars littered the top portion of her arm down to her wrist. Lissa kept opening her mouth and closing it while all Ellie could think was: *I'm in deep shit now.*

Finally, Lissa did say something. "I asked you a question."

"It's none of your business." Ellie said angrily. She grabbed her arm warmer and pulled it up.

"It is my damn business," Lissa said, her face on fire from anger, "Does it feel good, Ellie?"

"You have no idea…" Ellie started, "… what goes on in my life. You don't even know me. So leave me the hell alone." With that, she grabbed her books and stormed out of the washroom, leaving a very stunned Lissa behind.

~*~

Thursday, the second of September, 2004.

Dear Diary,

I thought that *some people* were my friends, but I guess I was wrong. I found out something really stunning about Ellie today. She cuts herself. On purpose. I'm totally serious about this one. When I asked her about it, she said it was none of my business and stormed out of the washroom. I guess it really wasn't. She also said something about me not knowing anything about her, and I guess that that's true, too. I wonder what is going on with her, anyway, even though we're kind of not speaking to each other right now.

I actually confided in my mother yesterday. I told her all about my nonexistent love life and about Marco and everything after I told him that I wasn't going to listen to any more of his business crap anymore when he doesn't even listen to me. I'm not really going to go into some of the details, but yeah. Gosh, my family is messed up. Yeah we're rich, but money isn't everything. Seriously. Some people seem to think that it is, but if you don't have your family, well, you might as well be poor, that's how I see it.

I really wish I had Ellie's phone number so I could call her and tell her that I'm sorry for butting into her business. I really hate this. Well, that's it for now, diary. We're home.

Lissa xoxo.

~*~

Yes, I ended with another diary entry… I'm so boring, ha ha. Anyway, I was up until midnight writing this chapter and I have school tomorrow so you people better leave me some good reviews, ha ha.

So long for now,

banana-milk-shake