Author's Note: Well here is my twentieth chapter. I am warning you all now that it is a major cliffhanger. I do apologize for this and I am sorry for all the other cliffhangers I have left you with and I promise that the next chapter will not be one. But I still cannot believe all the reviews I have gotten, over three hundred! Wow! That is amazing! Thank you all so much! I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien's work.
Chapter 20 Singing
At first Haldir did not question me on my discussion with Galadriel. I suppose he just assumed that she had inquired as to my pregnancy and gave not a second thought to it. A part of me almost wished that he would question our conversation, perhaps then it would make it easier on me to question his whereabouts and relationship with Lintelin. We moved over to a buffet style table that was near groaning under the weight of many sumptuous delicacies. But this evening I was not plagued with any sort of hunger, in fact, I felt slightly faint from either the heat or my own nerves. Haldir and I moved along the table and I noted his surprise as I turned up my nose at everything offered to me. I was pouring myself a glass of cool water to quench my thirst, when I casually glanced to the side, catching the gaze of Lintelin. Immediately, I spun around and moved closer to my husband. She had been some ways down the table, moving slowly in line with the others.
"My dear, what is the matter?" Haldir asked as he picked through a platter of cold meats. "You seem quite agitated of a sudden, more than usually that is." I smiled weakly at his jest, not in the mood or mind set for teasing him back.
"Nothing," I mumbled pretending to find great interest in my goblet. I felt him gently touch my face of a sudden and he lifted my chin up to gaze at me fully. I recalled that morning so long ago, when he had first told me that I would be once again joining him on the guard. How happy I had been then, most of my cares melting away in the light that was his sweet smile. Things had changed greatly since then, all the worries I had endured all the ups and the downs. Guilt had lined Haldir's eyes then, was it still there? I searched their blue depths, endless they almost seemed now. So many emotions swirled in those azure orbs, one intertwining with the other, creating a whirlpool of feelings. I could not decipher them and would not even try. Suddenly, as I stepped back for a second, I saw myself reflected in them. Small and meek I looked, with a pair of frightened eyes gazing back into his. I turned away, breaking the tender moment between us.
"We should join your brothers," I spoke, my voice quiet. "I believe they are expecting us."
"Ah," Haldir balanced his plate to hold it more steadily, "it would be rude of us to be late." I forced a laugh to break the tension. It was a known fact that Rumil and Orophin were never on time to their engagements. We moved over to an area set aside for dining, in the opposite corner from the dance floor. My brothers-in-law were of course not there, so we settled ourselves to wait for their arrival. Small lanterns were hung from above on silver banners bearing many different elven symbols. They cast an ethereal light upon us, reflecting off the circlets and other jewels that adorned many. Rumil and Orophin came shortly after, carrying their own over laden plates and goblets of wine. I was happy to see them once more enjoying their kind conversation and amusing jests. Lintelin entered the area a little while after them, but to my great relief she moved far away from us, joining some other ellith. I laughed and was merry during our meal, picking off Haldir's plate every now and then. An hour or so passed and the dinner commenced. My heart had begun to beat more rapidly, knowing that the time for the musicians and singers to perform was fast approaching. First though, there would be music for dancing and a slow tune was picked up the instant we left the feasting corner. Haldir and I used to love to dance (myself never being that good at it) seizing any opportunity that we could. He looked down questioningly at me and I sighed. My large abdomen would prevent us from joining in on the more feverish dances, but I was sure we could still waltz. Haldir too seemed to have come to this conclusion, for he took my hand gently in his and pulled me toward the dance floor.
"Come meleth nin," he was smiling, "it has been so long since we have danced." I consented and allowed myself to be led gracefully around in measured movements. Haldir was as graceful as ever and after a few awkward minutes I actually managed to pick up the steps correctly and began to enjoy myself. The dance came to a close and the musicians began to look for the singers. I swallowed, now realizing just how many elves there were in glade. My beloved smiled in an encouraging manner and Rumil handed me my harp which he had held during the dance. I nodded my thanks and let them wish me luck as I saw them move off, melting into the crowd, becoming one with all the others. The musicians were looking at me almost expectantly and I forced a smile.
"Will you be joining us this evening?" one male asked.
"Yes," I replied. They seemed to doubt my talents but moved over to make room for me nevertheless. "You need not join me," I said as I seated myself upon a small wooden chair. "I shall be singing solo and my harp is the only instrument I need to accompany me." This caused further raised eyebrows and some muttered exclamations of disbelief. I swiveled in my seat and faced my audience. Silence fell over the glade and I took a deep breath before beginning. The harp strings were pulled taut beneath my fingers and for the first time in my life, I felt like I had fallen right into place. This was where I should have been all those years. Completely wasted were they, but I tried not to let these thoughts enter my mind as I played. I had not exercised my voice in such a manner in many long years. I had a rather high voice, but that was not uncommon for females, especially those who excelled in the area of musical talents. I took another deep breath and let my voice ring throughout the glade, praying to the Valar that I would not forget the lyrics.
"Of far off lands and times I sing
When the old songs did loudly ring
When you left my own side
So with another to run and hide
'My love,' I cried, 'do not leave!'
As I a mournful sob did heave
But leave you did and alone I stand
Along the sun's setting band
Yet in this land, my heart does ache
For the one whom me, did forsake
Does he dwell upon these shores?
Or far from where my heart implores?
A crystal tear falls from each starlit orb
While a pain my heart does absorb
Alone I dwell, with none to love
Save the flying white winged dove"
I finished my song, hearing the last twangs of the harp's string echo through the glade. Applause met my ears and I sighed with relief. The company in the glade was smiling and cheers sounded gleefully through the air. In a far off corner, secluded from the rest, my eyes met the Lady's. She smiled brightly and nodded in approval. I felt elated and chanced a glance back at the other musicians. They seemed slightly stunned and looked at me with much more respect than before. I stood slowly and curtsied, trying not to appear too clumsy. The applause grew in volume and I curtsied once more then moved off quickly to find Haldir. Many of the elves barred my way, congratulating me fervently and complementing me on both my voice and harp. It took a few minutes but I finally managed to break from the crowd and make my way over to the appointed meeting place I had arrange with Haldir. But when I got there, I felt my breath catch in my throat. There he was, completely oblivious to me. He was sitting with Lintelin, deep in conversation with her. I was sure he had not heard a word or a note of my song but I pushed forward anyway.
"Haldir!" my voice was harsh, colder than I had intended it to be. "Did you enjoy my song?" I myself could hear the sarcasm dripping from my question. And then my husband made the biggest mistake of our entire married life.
"What song?" he asked ignorantly. Tears sprang from my eyes and I quietly slipped away, letting my harp fall to the ground with a small thud and not heeding his calls to me. I ran as fast as I could, hearing the sounds of the festival behind me. I was off to the side in the trees. There was a small gap in their branches and from there I watched Haldir gazing around looking quiet abashed by my sudden leave-taking. I felt disgusted and enraged, my whole body trembling. No longer would I endure this torture! I would take action, do something to show him how hurt and angry I was. But before I could even draw another breath, a great pain shook my body. I doubled over and clutched my abdomen. I was in labor.
Ellith: Female elves
Meleth nin: My love
Author's Note: So what did you think? Did the song make any sense? I hope so. Anyway, sorry again for the cliffhanger! I hope you enjoyed!