"Tell me again why we're here, Sir?"
"The manager invited me down to talk to him."
"Yes, that explains why you're here... but what about me?"
"You're here to keep me out of trouble."
Sam looked around the Shamrock as they passed the bouncer at the door, and shrugged. The place certainly didn't look that bad. It was nicely decorated, and there was even a dance floor. A nice dance floor. And a live band. Playing crappy music, but bands could always be replaced. It was hard to believe Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had both managed to cause brawls here. Well... not so hard to believe it about O'Neill, but hard to believe Teal'c did.
"Um. Okay."
Most of the patrons of the Shamrock were watching the band, or their feet as they danced, or their partner, but as the two newcomers arrived on the scene and walked to the bar, they drew an audience. That wasn't a pairing you'd normally see in a bar. An older man, and a young woman. Neither of them looking at all like they wanted to be there, and not with each other. The older man certainly didn't dress well enough that the pretty blonde was a trophy date, that was for sure. He was dressed far too conservatively for that. So people stared. And Sam scowled. And Hammond ignored all of it, and tried to look like he went to gay bars all the time with his subordinates.
"What can I getcha?" The bartender asked when they arrived at the bar. He gave Sam a smile that plainly was meant to be an invitation, and she sighed. Men.
"I'm here to talk to Patrick." Hammond said, leaning forward slightly to be heard over the sound of an argument that was brewing close at hand. One he ignored, since it was none of his business. That's what bouncers were for, after all.
"I'll get him for you. Something to drink while you wait?"
"Water. Thank you."
Well, didn't that sound familiar? He reached under the bar and pulled out a glass for the General and filled it. Then looked at Sam.
"You, little lady?"
"The 'little lady' is an adult and deserves to be addressed with a little more respect, young man." Hammond said, sharply, bristling at the tactless treatment of one of his officers.
"Sorry about that," The bartender said, smiling again. "What can I get for you, Ma'am?" His tone was mocking, and it was Hammond's turn to scowl. Sam, however, stepped up. As she did so, she noticed a stab mark in the top of the bar. Obviously made by a very sharp knife, and she wondered if this was where Teal'c had pinned the drunk's hand to the bar with his own weapon.
"I'll have a beer. In a gla-"She was interrupted by someone crashing into her from the side, and Sam was knocked into Hammond, who caught her before they could both fall.
"What-?"
...
The phone rang.
And rang again.
O'Neill muttered a curse, wondering if he was ever going to get a full night's sleep again, and he fumbled for the phone as it rang for the fourth time.
"This had better be important..."
"Is this Colonel O'Neill?" Oh, that voice was familiar.
"What? Yes. Again?"
"I'm afraid so, Colonel. Could you come down and pick up your friends, please? They need a ride."
Friends? Who could it be? Half his friends were already banned from ever returning to the Shamrock, and the other half rarely went out, anyways.
"Yeah. Gimme time to get pants on."
He dragged himself out of bed and looked for something to wear.
...
Half an hour later, he was walking through the police station. The very familiar police station. Obviously, the police officers didn't miss this fact, either, because a few of them actually greeted him by name as he passed them.
He went to the room, and knocked, then opened it, and had to admit that the pair sitting there was the last pair he'd actually expected to see. Hammond was holding an ice pack to his lip; a bruise was forming below his right eye, and he was wearing as thunderous an expression as Jack had ever seen. Sam looked a little better, although she, too, was holding an icepack – to her hand, which had a bandage on it.
"You two all right?"
"We're fine, Colonel." Hammond said, obviously angry, as he stood up and headed for the door.
"Carter?"
"I'm fine, too, Sir. Thank you." She flashed him a slightly guilty smile, and followed Hammond out the door and down the hall.
Jack looked at the officer behind the desk, but the man shrugged. He didn't ask. He didn't tell. O'Neill sighed, and followed the two out the door.
Hammond held the door of Jack's truck open for Sam so she could get into the jump seat in the cab, and didn't say a word as they all got in and buckled up.
"So... uh... Where to?"
"I need to get my car, Sir."
"And it's at...?"
Sam sighed.
"The Shamrock."
"Oh?" Jack asked, looking at her in the rear-view mirror. "Shamrock, huh? Nice place?"
Sam scowled, but O'Neill was just getting started.
"I hear it's new." He said. "Not a very Military friendly sort of place, though, from what I'm told."
"Jack..." This was a warning from Hammond, in the form of a growl.
"... like the Air Force's own Bermuda Triangle," O'Neill said, just warming up to his topic. He looked at Carter in the mirror again, and the Major sighed. He was at his worst when he was getting even, and she knew it. Now she was experiencing it first hand. And to judge from the amused gleam in his brown eyes, Jack was enjoying himself immensely.
"Colonel..." Another growl from Hammond.
"Sorry, Sir." Jack said, sounding anything but. They drove in silence for a short time, but Jack's curiosity was piqued, and he had to ask.
"So... what happened?"
"We got into a fight." Sam said.
Well, duh. Jack wasn't a rocket scientist, but he could have figured that one out on his own.
"We didn't start it, though," Hammond said, abruptly. Damn Daniel Jackson for not picking up his telephone!
"No, we didn't start it." Sam agreed.
"So one magically started beside you, and you felt left out?"
Hammond scowled.
Sam scowled.
Realizing he wasn't going to get an answer, Jack asked. "Are you banned?"
"Yes."
"So you got banned for standing to the side and not starting a fight?"
Hammond scowled again.
"We got banned because the sonuvabitch that was behind the bar decided to come over the bar and pretend to do the bouncer's job for them, and instead of taking care of the fight, he tried to use the diversion to make an inappropriate advance on Major Carter."
"With you standing there, Sir?"
"Oh, yes."
"What did he say?"
There was silence in the truck. Jack looked over at Hammond, who was scowling, then at Sam, who was smiling slightly, and trying desperately to hide it.
"Major?"
"He... um... told me to lose Grandpa, so we could go dance."
"He didn't mean dancing, I'm sure?" Jack asked, grinning broadly.
Hammond scowled again. Or hadn't stopped. Jack wasn't sure.
"Oh, no, Sir. I'm sure he didn't."
"Then what happened?"
"The uh... General... hit him."
"Ah..." Jack looked over at Hammond, who was looking straight ahead. "And that started the fight?"
"No, it just added to the one that was already going on. We sort of got swept up in it, and things got a little out of hand."
Jack was definitely sorry to see the Shamrock coming into view down the road. He was thoroughly enjoying this conversation, and couldn't wait to tell Daniel about it. Teal'c, too, probably, but Daniel would definitely enjoy this. He pulled up beside Carter's car, and Hammond practically broke the door handle off in his haste to get it open.
"You want me to drive you home, Sir?" Jack asked, thinking please say yes, please say yes.
"No, Colonel. Major Carter can drive me."
Aw, Damn it!
Sam smiled, as if she knew what Jack was thinking, and O'Neill returned it as Carter got out of the truck.
"Thanks for coming to get us, Sir."
"Oh, no, Major," Jack said. "Thank you for having them call me."
"The manager invited me down to talk to him."
"Yes, that explains why you're here... but what about me?"
"You're here to keep me out of trouble."
Sam looked around the Shamrock as they passed the bouncer at the door, and shrugged. The place certainly didn't look that bad. It was nicely decorated, and there was even a dance floor. A nice dance floor. And a live band. Playing crappy music, but bands could always be replaced. It was hard to believe Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had both managed to cause brawls here. Well... not so hard to believe it about O'Neill, but hard to believe Teal'c did.
"Um. Okay."
Most of the patrons of the Shamrock were watching the band, or their feet as they danced, or their partner, but as the two newcomers arrived on the scene and walked to the bar, they drew an audience. That wasn't a pairing you'd normally see in a bar. An older man, and a young woman. Neither of them looking at all like they wanted to be there, and not with each other. The older man certainly didn't dress well enough that the pretty blonde was a trophy date, that was for sure. He was dressed far too conservatively for that. So people stared. And Sam scowled. And Hammond ignored all of it, and tried to look like he went to gay bars all the time with his subordinates.
"What can I getcha?" The bartender asked when they arrived at the bar. He gave Sam a smile that plainly was meant to be an invitation, and she sighed. Men.
"I'm here to talk to Patrick." Hammond said, leaning forward slightly to be heard over the sound of an argument that was brewing close at hand. One he ignored, since it was none of his business. That's what bouncers were for, after all.
"I'll get him for you. Something to drink while you wait?"
"Water. Thank you."
Well, didn't that sound familiar? He reached under the bar and pulled out a glass for the General and filled it. Then looked at Sam.
"You, little lady?"
"The 'little lady' is an adult and deserves to be addressed with a little more respect, young man." Hammond said, sharply, bristling at the tactless treatment of one of his officers.
"Sorry about that," The bartender said, smiling again. "What can I get for you, Ma'am?" His tone was mocking, and it was Hammond's turn to scowl. Sam, however, stepped up. As she did so, she noticed a stab mark in the top of the bar. Obviously made by a very sharp knife, and she wondered if this was where Teal'c had pinned the drunk's hand to the bar with his own weapon.
"I'll have a beer. In a gla-"She was interrupted by someone crashing into her from the side, and Sam was knocked into Hammond, who caught her before they could both fall.
"What-?"
...
The phone rang.
And rang again.
O'Neill muttered a curse, wondering if he was ever going to get a full night's sleep again, and he fumbled for the phone as it rang for the fourth time.
"This had better be important..."
"Is this Colonel O'Neill?" Oh, that voice was familiar.
"What? Yes. Again?"
"I'm afraid so, Colonel. Could you come down and pick up your friends, please? They need a ride."
Friends? Who could it be? Half his friends were already banned from ever returning to the Shamrock, and the other half rarely went out, anyways.
"Yeah. Gimme time to get pants on."
He dragged himself out of bed and looked for something to wear.
...
Half an hour later, he was walking through the police station. The very familiar police station. Obviously, the police officers didn't miss this fact, either, because a few of them actually greeted him by name as he passed them.
He went to the room, and knocked, then opened it, and had to admit that the pair sitting there was the last pair he'd actually expected to see. Hammond was holding an ice pack to his lip; a bruise was forming below his right eye, and he was wearing as thunderous an expression as Jack had ever seen. Sam looked a little better, although she, too, was holding an icepack – to her hand, which had a bandage on it.
"You two all right?"
"We're fine, Colonel." Hammond said, obviously angry, as he stood up and headed for the door.
"Carter?"
"I'm fine, too, Sir. Thank you." She flashed him a slightly guilty smile, and followed Hammond out the door and down the hall.
Jack looked at the officer behind the desk, but the man shrugged. He didn't ask. He didn't tell. O'Neill sighed, and followed the two out the door.
Hammond held the door of Jack's truck open for Sam so she could get into the jump seat in the cab, and didn't say a word as they all got in and buckled up.
"So... uh... Where to?"
"I need to get my car, Sir."
"And it's at...?"
Sam sighed.
"The Shamrock."
"Oh?" Jack asked, looking at her in the rear-view mirror. "Shamrock, huh? Nice place?"
Sam scowled, but O'Neill was just getting started.
"I hear it's new." He said. "Not a very Military friendly sort of place, though, from what I'm told."
"Jack..." This was a warning from Hammond, in the form of a growl.
"... like the Air Force's own Bermuda Triangle," O'Neill said, just warming up to his topic. He looked at Carter in the mirror again, and the Major sighed. He was at his worst when he was getting even, and she knew it. Now she was experiencing it first hand. And to judge from the amused gleam in his brown eyes, Jack was enjoying himself immensely.
"Colonel..." Another growl from Hammond.
"Sorry, Sir." Jack said, sounding anything but. They drove in silence for a short time, but Jack's curiosity was piqued, and he had to ask.
"So... what happened?"
"We got into a fight." Sam said.
Well, duh. Jack wasn't a rocket scientist, but he could have figured that one out on his own.
"We didn't start it, though," Hammond said, abruptly. Damn Daniel Jackson for not picking up his telephone!
"No, we didn't start it." Sam agreed.
"So one magically started beside you, and you felt left out?"
Hammond scowled.
Sam scowled.
Realizing he wasn't going to get an answer, Jack asked. "Are you banned?"
"Yes."
"So you got banned for standing to the side and not starting a fight?"
Hammond scowled again.
"We got banned because the sonuvabitch that was behind the bar decided to come over the bar and pretend to do the bouncer's job for them, and instead of taking care of the fight, he tried to use the diversion to make an inappropriate advance on Major Carter."
"With you standing there, Sir?"
"Oh, yes."
"What did he say?"
There was silence in the truck. Jack looked over at Hammond, who was scowling, then at Sam, who was smiling slightly, and trying desperately to hide it.
"Major?"
"He... um... told me to lose Grandpa, so we could go dance."
"He didn't mean dancing, I'm sure?" Jack asked, grinning broadly.
Hammond scowled again. Or hadn't stopped. Jack wasn't sure.
"Oh, no, Sir. I'm sure he didn't."
"Then what happened?"
"The uh... General... hit him."
"Ah..." Jack looked over at Hammond, who was looking straight ahead. "And that started the fight?"
"No, it just added to the one that was already going on. We sort of got swept up in it, and things got a little out of hand."
Jack was definitely sorry to see the Shamrock coming into view down the road. He was thoroughly enjoying this conversation, and couldn't wait to tell Daniel about it. Teal'c, too, probably, but Daniel would definitely enjoy this. He pulled up beside Carter's car, and Hammond practically broke the door handle off in his haste to get it open.
"You want me to drive you home, Sir?" Jack asked, thinking please say yes, please say yes.
"No, Colonel. Major Carter can drive me."
Aw, Damn it!
Sam smiled, as if she knew what Jack was thinking, and O'Neill returned it as Carter got out of the truck.
"Thanks for coming to get us, Sir."
"Oh, no, Major," Jack said. "Thank you for having them call me."