All the other craps suppose to be here is in the 1st chapter.
A/N Thanks for all the reviews!!!
*Golden Door Hotel (Mulder's POV)*
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fear
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave"
It had been 3 months since I'd let Scully go, but that was only physically. She was still there in my heart. She would always be there I knew that, yet I wanted the hurt and pain to go away. Then there was the anger after the numbness had worn off. Anger I'd allowed her leave so easily. And even after that there was the pain that seemed it would never go away.
"'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone"
She was always there though. Not as in physically but spiritually. I could feel her and hear her in my head. I was going mad….
So I turned to drinking. Not in public of course not. But rather in the endless hotel rooms I stayed at. All I needed was a bottle of Vodka that gets me though the night. I drink and get drunk instead of having the memories of the past 9 years assault and haunt me. Anything was better then that.
"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"
I'd had wounds before, but usually the physical ones heal fast and I'm gone. But the mental ones, those never leave you. I just got over my sister 2 years ago; I don't think I'll ever get over Scully. She was a part of me even if I didn't notice it till too late.
Time. What is time really? 9 years, we were together 9 years and she can leave that easy. I thought I meant more to her then that. Apparently not…
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me"
I don't know what went wrong. It probably the fact we were always on the run. Or maybe she just couldn't take the truth, she rather live in a lie then face the truth. I can't say I blame her.
But what about all I went though to protect her and my son. Dear god watch over them for me. I promised I'd protect her. I had for the most part. I was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on, when she was scared, and when she needed to feel loved. That might be it when she needed to be loved. Could the feelings I had for her be fake. No, cause then there wouldn't be this pain where my heart should be.
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"
I use to love to watch her sleep. I'd do it whenever I could. I might sound like a pervert but when she slept, she looked like an angel from heaven. Some angel…. To leave me in this hellhole of a life alone. With no one to look over me and for me to have no one to look over. I'm alone. Isn't that want I wanted?
The truth. It doesn't matter to me anymore. Stopping them, finding the cure, it means nothing to me. See what happens when you fall in love Fox old buddy? Talking to myself again I see. You the one to blame: you choose this lifestyle from the beginning. You knew what the consequences were. You just didn't know it meant losing Scully.
"Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me"
When I do sleep, it's only of her. What I once thought I would always have. What a laugh. Her voice. Another beautiful thing about Scully. The voice that woke me up more then once in a hospital. Now when I woke up from my nightmares I hear no calm voice reassuring me everything is alright. I think I'm going crazy…
The pills and the vodka look so inviting. If she was ever coming back she would have by now. Said that tiny voice in my head. Might as well end. I pick up the bottle of pills shake out a handful put them in my mouth, then open up the bottle and take a swig. The burning in my throat matching the burning in my heart.
When it's the vodka all most gone and the full bottle of pills is gone, I lay my head down on the pillow the hotel manger find me in the morning. Another suicide another unknown man dies. No one would miss me. And Scully wouldn't for sure. Then when I'm almost gone I see Scully by my side. But only for a moment then I'm gone.
My Immortal
By: Evanescence
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"
A/N
Well this is chapter 2. Tell me if you like it! I love this SONG!!! Well I'm going to continue if I get enough reviews…SO review!!!!
A/N Thanks for all the reviews!!!
*Golden Door Hotel (Mulder's POV)*
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fear
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave"
It had been 3 months since I'd let Scully go, but that was only physically. She was still there in my heart. She would always be there I knew that, yet I wanted the hurt and pain to go away. Then there was the anger after the numbness had worn off. Anger I'd allowed her leave so easily. And even after that there was the pain that seemed it would never go away.
"'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone"
She was always there though. Not as in physically but spiritually. I could feel her and hear her in my head. I was going mad….
So I turned to drinking. Not in public of course not. But rather in the endless hotel rooms I stayed at. All I needed was a bottle of Vodka that gets me though the night. I drink and get drunk instead of having the memories of the past 9 years assault and haunt me. Anything was better then that.
"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"
I'd had wounds before, but usually the physical ones heal fast and I'm gone. But the mental ones, those never leave you. I just got over my sister 2 years ago; I don't think I'll ever get over Scully. She was a part of me even if I didn't notice it till too late.
Time. What is time really? 9 years, we were together 9 years and she can leave that easy. I thought I meant more to her then that. Apparently not…
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me"
I don't know what went wrong. It probably the fact we were always on the run. Or maybe she just couldn't take the truth, she rather live in a lie then face the truth. I can't say I blame her.
But what about all I went though to protect her and my son. Dear god watch over them for me. I promised I'd protect her. I had for the most part. I was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on, when she was scared, and when she needed to feel loved. That might be it when she needed to be loved. Could the feelings I had for her be fake. No, cause then there wouldn't be this pain where my heart should be.
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"
I use to love to watch her sleep. I'd do it whenever I could. I might sound like a pervert but when she slept, she looked like an angel from heaven. Some angel…. To leave me in this hellhole of a life alone. With no one to look over me and for me to have no one to look over. I'm alone. Isn't that want I wanted?
The truth. It doesn't matter to me anymore. Stopping them, finding the cure, it means nothing to me. See what happens when you fall in love Fox old buddy? Talking to myself again I see. You the one to blame: you choose this lifestyle from the beginning. You knew what the consequences were. You just didn't know it meant losing Scully.
"Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me"
When I do sleep, it's only of her. What I once thought I would always have. What a laugh. Her voice. Another beautiful thing about Scully. The voice that woke me up more then once in a hospital. Now when I woke up from my nightmares I hear no calm voice reassuring me everything is alright. I think I'm going crazy…
The pills and the vodka look so inviting. If she was ever coming back she would have by now. Said that tiny voice in my head. Might as well end. I pick up the bottle of pills shake out a handful put them in my mouth, then open up the bottle and take a swig. The burning in my throat matching the burning in my heart.
When it's the vodka all most gone and the full bottle of pills is gone, I lay my head down on the pillow the hotel manger find me in the morning. Another suicide another unknown man dies. No one would miss me. And Scully wouldn't for sure. Then when I'm almost gone I see Scully by my side. But only for a moment then I'm gone.
My Immortal
By: Evanescence
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"
A/N
Well this is chapter 2. Tell me if you like it! I love this SONG!!! Well I'm going to continue if I get enough reviews…SO review!!!!