"So..."
"So?"
"Sam!"
"Janet!"
The two women were sitting in the commissary right after the briefing. Janet hadn't been able to get out of the room fast enough, once her curiosity had been piqued, and she hadn't missed the chance to invite Sam for a cup of coffee – ostensibly to talk about her mini-vacation – but no one was fooled. They all knew that Janet Fraiser was going to grill her friend and find out what had happened to the members of the SGC in her absence. They were also fairly sure she would be unsuccessful.
"What happened to your hand?"
Carter held up her good hand, and looked at it innocently.
"Nothing."
"I'm going to find out."
"Not from me."
"Colonel O'Neill will tell me."
"I doubt it."
"Just tell me about the brawl..."
"Which one?"
"There was more than one?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Janet felt ready to pull her hair out.
"General Hammond told me not to discuss it with anyone. I'm going to assume he meant you, as well."
"Why would he do that?"
"I couldn't tell you."
"Sam!"
Carter smiled. Not that she normally enjoyed driving Janet crazy, but she'd been ordered by Hammond not to discuss his injury or hers with anyone – presumably to keep the rest of the SGC from finding out that their Commanding officer had been in a bar room brawl, but Sam was sure there was more involved. Like dignity. Of course, the General had handled himself well, so he had nothing to be ashamed of, but Sam could understand his position, and she did as she was told. Even to the point of telling Janet Fraiser that she'd have to find a different source of information.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm the medical officer! I have to know what's going on with my people."
"None of us are dying."
"I'm going to find out." She said, resolutely.
"Good luck."
Janet scowled, and left the commissary without finishing her coffee. Carter watched her go, still grinning. Fraiser was in for a rough morning.
................
"Daniel!"
Jackson turned when he heard someone calling his name, and groaned softly when he saw Janet come rushing up to catch up to him. He forced a smile, though – he was really glad she was home safely, of course, he just knew what she was going to ask him.
"Hi, Janet. How was the trip?"
"It was fine. I got a lot of sun. What happened to you guys?"
"You look nicely tanned." Daniel observed.
"What happened? Where did you guys get into a brawl?" She wasn't going to be distracted.
Daniel hated the look of frustration on her face, but there was no way he was going to tell her. First of all, it was embarrassing. Second of all, Jack would kill him.
"I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Because I value my health."
"Someone threatened you?"
"No. He didn't threaten me, but he didn't have to."
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing, Janet. What did you say the name of that herb was...?"
"You're changing the subject." She accused him.
Daniel nodded. "I can't tell you what you want to know. I'm sorry."
"Teal'c will tell me."
"Oh, I doubt that."
So did she.
"I'm going to find a great big needle, and use it on you the next time you're in for shots." She threatened.
He nodded. Still better than having Jack pull his toenails off with pliers, or something equally awful.
"You're not going to tell me?"
He shook his head.
"Damn it."
She turned and walked back down the corridor, mumbling to herself, and Daniel watched her go, breathing a sigh of relief.
..........................
Jack looked up at the knock on his door, and wasn't really surprised to see Janet Fraiser standing there. He sighed, and lifted his head from his hands, and gestured for her to come in. Which she did.
"Colonel."
"Doctor."
"You're looking tired. Any particular reason why?"
"Nope."
The bruise on his jaw was maybe a couple days old. Maybe three.
She sat down in the chair across his desk from him, and studied him, but Jack had been interrogated by far more imposing people than her, and being stared at was nothing new for him. He didn't say anything. He just met her gaze and waited for her to crack.
"What happened to you?" She finally asked, realizing that he wasn't going to budge. If it was a serious medical problem, she could have had a chance, but something like this wasn't serious enough for her to be able to just up and bully him, and they both knew it.
"Well..." Jack leaned back in his chair, and put his feet up on his desk. "It all started when I was six... I had this-"
"What happened to your face?" She wasn't amused, but Jack was, and his dark eyes were twinkling with good humor.
"That's classified."
"Colonel..."
"Doctor..." He shook his head. "I know you're fishing, Doc, but I'm not biting. I'm not even nibbling. If you want to find out what happened, you're going to have to find out somewhere else. I'm not telling."
"Why not?"
"That's classified, too."
"Did General Hammond order you not to tell me?"
Jack shook his head.
"You're just not going to tell me?"
He nodded.
"That's not fair."
"I know. Ask Major Carter."
"She won't tell me." The frustration in Fraiser's voice made Jack grin, and the doctor scowled.
"I'm going to find out."
"Eventually, I'm sure you will. But not from me."
"Come on, just tell me why you got into a brawl..."
"Nope."
"Did you beat up Daniel?"
"Nope. I already told you that."
"Did you hit General Hammond?"
"Are you nuts? Of course not."
"Did Daniel?"
"Not as far as I know. But then, you'd have to ask him."
"Daniel?"
"Or Hammond."
"Daniel won't tell me anything."
"You already asked him?"
She nodded, and Jack grinned. Daniel had been the one he wasn't sure would keep the secret. He had to know Jack wasn't really going to kill him if he told, after all. He'd be miffed, oh yeah, would he! But it'd take a lot more than that to make Jack actually hurt Daniel.
"It's not funny," Fraiser snapped.
"Oh, it is."
"This isn't fair."
"So you've said."
She wasn't going to find out anything from him. Fraiser scowled, and stood up. "The next time you get a paper cut, I'm going to stitch it up to your elbow." With that threat, she turned around and stomped out of his office. She'd find someone who'd tell her. Eventually.
"So?"
"Sam!"
"Janet!"
The two women were sitting in the commissary right after the briefing. Janet hadn't been able to get out of the room fast enough, once her curiosity had been piqued, and she hadn't missed the chance to invite Sam for a cup of coffee – ostensibly to talk about her mini-vacation – but no one was fooled. They all knew that Janet Fraiser was going to grill her friend and find out what had happened to the members of the SGC in her absence. They were also fairly sure she would be unsuccessful.
"What happened to your hand?"
Carter held up her good hand, and looked at it innocently.
"Nothing."
"I'm going to find out."
"Not from me."
"Colonel O'Neill will tell me."
"I doubt it."
"Just tell me about the brawl..."
"Which one?"
"There was more than one?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Janet felt ready to pull her hair out.
"General Hammond told me not to discuss it with anyone. I'm going to assume he meant you, as well."
"Why would he do that?"
"I couldn't tell you."
"Sam!"
Carter smiled. Not that she normally enjoyed driving Janet crazy, but she'd been ordered by Hammond not to discuss his injury or hers with anyone – presumably to keep the rest of the SGC from finding out that their Commanding officer had been in a bar room brawl, but Sam was sure there was more involved. Like dignity. Of course, the General had handled himself well, so he had nothing to be ashamed of, but Sam could understand his position, and she did as she was told. Even to the point of telling Janet Fraiser that she'd have to find a different source of information.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm the medical officer! I have to know what's going on with my people."
"None of us are dying."
"I'm going to find out." She said, resolutely.
"Good luck."
Janet scowled, and left the commissary without finishing her coffee. Carter watched her go, still grinning. Fraiser was in for a rough morning.
................
"Daniel!"
Jackson turned when he heard someone calling his name, and groaned softly when he saw Janet come rushing up to catch up to him. He forced a smile, though – he was really glad she was home safely, of course, he just knew what she was going to ask him.
"Hi, Janet. How was the trip?"
"It was fine. I got a lot of sun. What happened to you guys?"
"You look nicely tanned." Daniel observed.
"What happened? Where did you guys get into a brawl?" She wasn't going to be distracted.
Daniel hated the look of frustration on her face, but there was no way he was going to tell her. First of all, it was embarrassing. Second of all, Jack would kill him.
"I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Because I value my health."
"Someone threatened you?"
"No. He didn't threaten me, but he didn't have to."
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing, Janet. What did you say the name of that herb was...?"
"You're changing the subject." She accused him.
Daniel nodded. "I can't tell you what you want to know. I'm sorry."
"Teal'c will tell me."
"Oh, I doubt that."
So did she.
"I'm going to find a great big needle, and use it on you the next time you're in for shots." She threatened.
He nodded. Still better than having Jack pull his toenails off with pliers, or something equally awful.
"You're not going to tell me?"
He shook his head.
"Damn it."
She turned and walked back down the corridor, mumbling to herself, and Daniel watched her go, breathing a sigh of relief.
..........................
Jack looked up at the knock on his door, and wasn't really surprised to see Janet Fraiser standing there. He sighed, and lifted his head from his hands, and gestured for her to come in. Which she did.
"Colonel."
"Doctor."
"You're looking tired. Any particular reason why?"
"Nope."
The bruise on his jaw was maybe a couple days old. Maybe three.
She sat down in the chair across his desk from him, and studied him, but Jack had been interrogated by far more imposing people than her, and being stared at was nothing new for him. He didn't say anything. He just met her gaze and waited for her to crack.
"What happened to you?" She finally asked, realizing that he wasn't going to budge. If it was a serious medical problem, she could have had a chance, but something like this wasn't serious enough for her to be able to just up and bully him, and they both knew it.
"Well..." Jack leaned back in his chair, and put his feet up on his desk. "It all started when I was six... I had this-"
"What happened to your face?" She wasn't amused, but Jack was, and his dark eyes were twinkling with good humor.
"That's classified."
"Colonel..."
"Doctor..." He shook his head. "I know you're fishing, Doc, but I'm not biting. I'm not even nibbling. If you want to find out what happened, you're going to have to find out somewhere else. I'm not telling."
"Why not?"
"That's classified, too."
"Did General Hammond order you not to tell me?"
Jack shook his head.
"You're just not going to tell me?"
He nodded.
"That's not fair."
"I know. Ask Major Carter."
"She won't tell me." The frustration in Fraiser's voice made Jack grin, and the doctor scowled.
"I'm going to find out."
"Eventually, I'm sure you will. But not from me."
"Come on, just tell me why you got into a brawl..."
"Nope."
"Did you beat up Daniel?"
"Nope. I already told you that."
"Did you hit General Hammond?"
"Are you nuts? Of course not."
"Did Daniel?"
"Not as far as I know. But then, you'd have to ask him."
"Daniel?"
"Or Hammond."
"Daniel won't tell me anything."
"You already asked him?"
She nodded, and Jack grinned. Daniel had been the one he wasn't sure would keep the secret. He had to know Jack wasn't really going to kill him if he told, after all. He'd be miffed, oh yeah, would he! But it'd take a lot more than that to make Jack actually hurt Daniel.
"It's not funny," Fraiser snapped.
"Oh, it is."
"This isn't fair."
"So you've said."
She wasn't going to find out anything from him. Fraiser scowled, and stood up. "The next time you get a paper cut, I'm going to stitch it up to your elbow." With that threat, she turned around and stomped out of his office. She'd find someone who'd tell her. Eventually.