When You Think of Me
By: N-chan
You look so peaceful sleepin',
You don't know that I'm leaving, but I'm gone.
Sirius Black looked at his lover, who was serenely sleeping in their bed that they'd been sharing these past few years. Sirius' eyes were sad as he looked upon the face of the person he had been so in love with these short few years since school. With effort, he tore his eyes away from the sleeping form, and kneeled down, pulling out a suitcase, already packed.
Well I did my best to beat 'em, but in my head, the demon said, move on.
He cursed Peter in his head as he checked through his luggage one more time, cursing him for not telling him sooner that the Death Eaters were coming for him, hoping to claim him as one of their own, as the rest of the Blacks already had been. He had fought as hard as he could against his heritage, against the Death Eaters, against Voldemort himself, and still he couldn't win, he couldn't keep the person he cared about most safe.
You wake up your gonna curse my name.
But as some time goes by I hope and pray.
Sirius cringes as he thinks about how his lover is going to feel upon morning, as he would be long gone from their home by then. He looks out the window for a moment, looking at the night sky, and says a silent prayer…
When you think of me,
Remember the way that I used to be.
::The Gryffindor House was abuzz with noise after the latest Quidditch match. They held James up in the air, cheering his name over and over. Sirius cheered along with them, but then found himself picked up as well, the others cheering over his great save in the game. Sirius grinned like a fool, high above everyone's heads, and then turned his attention to the crowd, looking over it for a certain someone…::
Remember the times I held you, tenderly.
::Sirius opens his arms, holding them out, offering the comforting shield of his arms to the other in front of him. They look at him a moment, teary eyes wide, then crawls over to him, letting him fold his arms around them, protecting them…::
Remember the way that I loved you.
::Sirius cradles the person in his arms and whispers, saying that he's there, that he wouldn't leave them alone…::
I think about the night I met you, I swore I'd never forget you, well I won't.
::Sirius' eyes meet that of another who just appeared in his and James' compartment on the train, going to Hogwarts and feels his heart start to beat quickly. Those eyes, such a beautiful shade of gray, with flecks of amber in them…He swears to himself on the spot that this person is one that he won't forget, maybe not for a long time, maybe forever…::
I think about the way you'll live and breath,
Inside my dreams forever.
Sirius blinks back the tears forming in his eyes, memories sweeping through him, his chest tight. He moves over to the side of the bed again, and brushes tawny hair out of the other's eyes, wishing that he could look into their gray and amber depths at least one last time before he goes. He moves down, kissing the other lightly on the lips and murmers, "I'm sorry…Remus…" One of the threatening tears falls from a deep blue eye and lands on Remus' cheek, making a small splash as it hits…
You'll be better when I'm gone, you'll be better when I'm gone.
Cause I know your gonna fall in love again
I'm sorry this is how it has to end.
Sirius stared down at Remus for a little longer, remembering…
But when you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
::Sirius grins to himself over his and James' last bout of mischief, smacking his counterpart on the back jovially. He turns to Remus, who's poring over a book and tells him about what he and James did. Remus seems to not be paying attention, but then he looks up from the book and smiles up at Sirius, his eyes bright. Sirius feels his chest tighten as he looks into Remus' eyes…::
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
::Sirius holds Remus in a light hug after the full moon, his chest tight with something he still doesn't understand very well…::
Remember the way that I loved you.
Oh, when you think of me.
::Remus looks up into Sirius' eyes, his own grey-amber tired and worn, but in their depths, there's something else, something more. Sirius whispers to Remus, telling him he'll be here when he's needed…::
As I pick up these bags and turn around
I say a little prayer and hope somehow.
Sirius wipes his eyes, and, looking at his sleeping love one more time, he picks up his suitcase and turns away. As he walks away, not looking back, he wishes Remus well, and hopes that Remus will always remember the way he used to be….
When you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you, tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.
Oh, when you think of me, when you think of me
When you think of me, when you think of me…