Disclaimer: Rei don't own slayers. I'm done.
It all began with that dance. That fateful dance not so long ago. My thoughts whirled as fast as my body as he spun me. It was the happiest yet most miserable time of my life. I love him, but I hate him. I was raised on the belief that all mazoku were evil and here's one who has captured my heart. I am so confused. I don't know how I'm capable of loving such a negative person. Or how my feelings can conflict to the point of opposites.
On many occasion I have tried a futile attempt to understand him and my feelings for him. I would never tell him of my confusion of course. However. That was what I thought until that night. I was drunk. So was everyone else. We were at some party, somewhere. Lina and Xellos had made a bet about something and she won. Therefore, he had to dance with me.
I wasn't to keen on the idea but in my drunken state Lina easily swayed me. Afterwards I could have kissed her, then murdered her. I wanted to laugh and cry simultaneously. I did so later in my room. As I danced with him I realized I was hopelessly fickle. I had to stop this infatuation of him or I'd die. I knew what had to be done. It shattered my soul and I knew the act of doing it would probably not only cost me him as well as my sanity.
I tried to steel myself but how can one who has never felt love be ready for utter heartbreak? I savagely told myself it was for the best though I knew I was lying through my teeth. I told him to come to my room later that night. By now the depression had caught up with me and the impact of what I was going to do hammered hard into my mind.
I was sober by now. I headed up to the room feeling dread heavy in me. My soul had been shattered already and my heart was gone. I felt like a stone. I knew my mind would be gone soon too. It was then that I decided that I would take my life afterwards. With resolve I walked into my room.
Almost instantaneously, he appeared. When he came I got straight to the point. "Xellos you must help me." I hesitated as he raised an eyebrow and the heart I thought was gone cracked a little. So did my voice as I rushed on. "I love you, but I hate you. I will never fail you, forsake you, forget you, nor forgive you. You single handedly destroyed my race." Both of his eyes were open now.
I was crying and sobs racked my frail body. "I have to stop loving you or..." I trailed off, not comprehending what would happen to me. "I would be destroyed emotionally." I expected him to laugh or at least ignore me. That I could cope with. Instead he performed an act I could never forgive him for. He kissed me.
It was a hungry kiss of two lovers who knew they couldn't have each other. The entire world stood at a halt. Time stopped. I knew I had to be with him, but... When he ended the desperate kiss he winked at me and his voice haunted my fuzzy mind. It echoed the phrase I knew he'd say. "What if I don't want you to stop loving me?"
His startling question and inquisitive amethysts repeated in my weary mind that night. Even in my dreams I could not escape. I screamed with agony from my shattered soul and cracked heart. It is three years later and I have borne four of his children. I am also raising young Val. I love him and I hate him. I have learned to embrace that hatred instead of shunning it. That is how I cope with being married to this infuriating trickster priest.
It all began with that dance...
It all began with that dance. That fateful dance not so long ago. My thoughts whirled as fast as my body as he spun me. It was the happiest yet most miserable time of my life. I love him, but I hate him. I was raised on the belief that all mazoku were evil and here's one who has captured my heart. I am so confused. I don't know how I'm capable of loving such a negative person. Or how my feelings can conflict to the point of opposites.
On many occasion I have tried a futile attempt to understand him and my feelings for him. I would never tell him of my confusion of course. However. That was what I thought until that night. I was drunk. So was everyone else. We were at some party, somewhere. Lina and Xellos had made a bet about something and she won. Therefore, he had to dance with me.
I wasn't to keen on the idea but in my drunken state Lina easily swayed me. Afterwards I could have kissed her, then murdered her. I wanted to laugh and cry simultaneously. I did so later in my room. As I danced with him I realized I was hopelessly fickle. I had to stop this infatuation of him or I'd die. I knew what had to be done. It shattered my soul and I knew the act of doing it would probably not only cost me him as well as my sanity.
I tried to steel myself but how can one who has never felt love be ready for utter heartbreak? I savagely told myself it was for the best though I knew I was lying through my teeth. I told him to come to my room later that night. By now the depression had caught up with me and the impact of what I was going to do hammered hard into my mind.
I was sober by now. I headed up to the room feeling dread heavy in me. My soul had been shattered already and my heart was gone. I felt like a stone. I knew my mind would be gone soon too. It was then that I decided that I would take my life afterwards. With resolve I walked into my room.
Almost instantaneously, he appeared. When he came I got straight to the point. "Xellos you must help me." I hesitated as he raised an eyebrow and the heart I thought was gone cracked a little. So did my voice as I rushed on. "I love you, but I hate you. I will never fail you, forsake you, forget you, nor forgive you. You single handedly destroyed my race." Both of his eyes were open now.
I was crying and sobs racked my frail body. "I have to stop loving you or..." I trailed off, not comprehending what would happen to me. "I would be destroyed emotionally." I expected him to laugh or at least ignore me. That I could cope with. Instead he performed an act I could never forgive him for. He kissed me.
It was a hungry kiss of two lovers who knew they couldn't have each other. The entire world stood at a halt. Time stopped. I knew I had to be with him, but... When he ended the desperate kiss he winked at me and his voice haunted my fuzzy mind. It echoed the phrase I knew he'd say. "What if I don't want you to stop loving me?"
His startling question and inquisitive amethysts repeated in my weary mind that night. Even in my dreams I could not escape. I screamed with agony from my shattered soul and cracked heart. It is three years later and I have borne four of his children. I am also raising young Val. I love him and I hate him. I have learned to embrace that hatred instead of shunning it. That is how I cope with being married to this infuriating trickster priest.
It all began with that dance...