None of Tokien's characters are mine. They are just loved and borrowed, as
are some of his words.
THE RECKONING.
"You have something you wish to report to me Captain Faramir?"
Denethor's words are not a question.
"My Lord, I have written........."
"I'm sure you have Captain, but I have no desire at this time to read what you have written. What I want is for you to tell me of the events in Osgiliath two days ago."
My stomach churns. Denethor knows about Frodo and Sam.
"I am aware my Lord, that all my actions are known to you", said Faramir, "and that you deem it necessary to have me watched at all times".
"And is it any wonder?"
Denethor suddenly reminds me of the cat at The Green Dragon, waiting slyly to pounce on a cornered, defenceless mouse.
Denethor's voice is cold. "I am waiting".
He looks pale and nervous, so different from when I first saw him. Then, despite obvious fatigue, he looked every inch a soldier, a captain, a brave leader of men, loved and revered by those who served under him. Now it appears that he is reduced to the status of little more than a naughty child, to be publicly admonished and humiliated by his Lord, his master – his father. He seems to draw strength from somewhere, as he looks the Steward directly in the eye.
"My men captured two halfings, hobbits of The Shire – they were members of the Fellowship formed at Rivendell to return the Ring of Power to the fires of Mt. Doom from whence it came. It was my intention to bring them to Minas Tirith – until I witnessed for myself the destructive power the Ring wields." He pauses, as though unsure whether to continue, before adding, "I learned also that it corrupted my brother and may have played some part in his death, and.....and I took the decision to allow the Ringbearer the freedom to fulfil his quest".
I know from Gandalf that Faramir is a brave and honourable man. He leads his men against terrors that until recently I could only imagine, but I wonder if this is the worst terror of all for him, as he meets his father's eyes – eyes that are full of anger, disappointment, and malice. Faramir holds his gaze and I find myself willing him not to look away – not to let Denethor believe that he is ashamed or repentant of his actions in letting Frodo and Sam go, and the One Ring with them.
I think for a moment that Denethor, on hearing Faramir's account, is going to strike his son. But maybe Gandalf's presence helps him to contain his physical rage, at least for the moment.
I remember when I first saw Denethor, and how his grief for the loss of Boromir, his eldest son, overwhelmed me with sympathy. I thought of my own father, and how he must be feeling at my apparent demise, for he knows not where I am, or what fate has befallen me.
I have always been loved. We all were, my sisters and me, but my father longed for a boy, and my arrival really was the completion of a happy and secure family unit. I've been spoilt all my life, I know that – but there was always enough love to go round, so my sisters never suffered neglect or disdain.
Denethor no longer reminds me of my father. I just see a man who, for whatever reason, is cold and harsh to the point of cruelty, instead of rejoicing that his surviving son has returned safely from battle.
My thoughts turn to Boromir, and I remember his kindness to myself, and Merry, Frodo and Sam. Frequently on the journey from Rivendell he would talk of Gondor, and of his younger brother. It was obvious they shared a great love, and in an unguarded moment he had uttered quietly, and as if in a dream, "I fear for Faramir". Merry and I thought he was talking about the dangers of war, but now I believe he also meant something much closer to home.
I look at Gandalf, and try to work out what he's thinking. He is looking at Denethor with anger on his face, and yet pity in his eyes, and then he looks at Faramir, and his expression changes to one of concern, compassion, and something else......love.
"I hope I have not done ill?" Faramir looks first to his father, but turns to Gandalf, and I know then that the two of them are indeed close. Denethor's next words confirm my opinion.
"Ill? Why do you ask? Or do you ask for my judgement in all your deeds? Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skilfully as ever, but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir, seeking whether you said well, or too much. He has long had your heart in his keeping.
Your brother would not have failed me. He would not have denied me this gift, for he knew it was my dearest wish – and Gondor's only hope. Boromir's heart was true to this land."
For a brief moment Faramir's face bears an expression of pain and hurt at what amounts to an accusation of treachery, but he seems to find new reserve and speaks confidently and with determination.
"It was for Gondor that I acted – bringing it here would have been the downfall of us all."
Gandalf can remain silent no longer.
"Faramir speaks the truth. The Ring has but one master – and that is not you Lord Denethor. Bringing it to Gondor would have brought Sauron into your very midst".
Denethor turns his gaze from Faramir towards Gandalf, his expression one of sheer hatred.
"Of course Mithrandir, I would expect nothing less from you, for was it not you who turned Faramir from the path he was to follow, when he was but a child – looking at him, it is impossible for me not to detect your influence. You filled my son's head with myth and magic, until he had no sense of purpose or duty".
"You do your son a grave injustice". Gandalf speaks calmly but I think he does not feel so. I almost admire Denethor at this moment, for the prospect of an angry Gandalf would intimidate most men.
My attention is drawn again to Faramir, and I think once more of Boromir and his words. My impulsiveness gets the better of me.
"My Lord! Boromir spoke to us often of Faramir, and always with love and respect. He.....he was a great man and warrior, and I think his judgement would have been trustworthy".
I see Gandalf looking at me, and think I've said too much as usual, but for once, he doesn't cuff my ears and call me a fool of a Took, but instead, he smiles. Gandalf is proud of me at last.
Faramir is looking at me also, with gratitude plainly showing in his eyes – eyes that seem to be able to express so much without words. I feel something in my heart that surprises me, for I barely know him – it is akin to my feelings for Merry, Frodo and Sam, a feeling that he is a kindred spirit, and a man who unlike so many others is not corrupt or hungry for power – a man like Aragorn, and yet unlike also, for he has an elvish quality that Aragorn, though raised amongst elves, does not.
A hint of a smile, even amidst his anguish, and I know that Faramir and I will share a bond for however long our lives last, be it short as seems likely, or long, if, because of his actions, Frodo and Sam succeed in the quest.
"Be silent master hobbit!" Denethor turns his anger to me, but I don't mind if it helps Faramir, and gives him just a moment's peace from his father's wrath. "You know nothing of my sons, except that one gave his life in order that you should live, and for that you should be eternally grateful. Had Faramir undertaken the mission to Rivendell, you may not have been so fortunate".
I look at Faramir and smile, hoping to convey that I care nothing for the Steward's words, and have no trust in them. He acknowledges me, and I know he understands, but his face tears at my heart. He has the look of one who is weary of criticism and rejection, and who aches for recognition and some affection, especially now, grieving as he must be for his beloved brother - but Denethor sees only his own grief instead of offering comfort to Faramir, and receiving some in return.
I realise just how grievous is the loss of his brother, for surely Boromir was the only one to show Faramir love, and offer protection – except perhaps for Gandalf, who speaks again.
"Faramir did nothing more – or less – than honour the oath Boromir took at Rivendell, to protect the Ringbearer and support the quest to destroy the weapon of the Enemy".
"I know of no oath other than that which my son made to me", Denethor replies, "To bring the One Ring to Gondor, not to allow a mere halfling to wander into Morder and present it to Sauron on a silver platter".
Gandalf places a hand on Faramir's shoulder.
"Faramir, you did as you should", says the wizard gently. "You behaved with courage and wisdom, and Gondor is in your debt".
Faramir's eyes appear to mist, more reason for Denethor to chastise him, but to me he shows strength – we hobbits have no shame in tears, but welcome them, for not to weep is not to feel.
"As always Mithrandir, you seek to impose your will above mine", says the Steward. "Since childhood has Faramir cared only for your words, and your approval".
"Then you are blind Lord Denethor", is Gandalf's response. "For if Faramir looked to me, it was for friendship – and consolation".
"I find it hard to believe that you perceive yourself to be a mere consolation prize". Denethor's tone is sneering. "It has not gone unnoticed that Faramir was ever more to you than he should have been – and you to he. You moulded the child and made him what he is".
Gandalf looks at Faramir, and his face softens with pride and affection.
"My Lord Denethor, I thank you for the compliment, though I must confess that I alone should not take the credit, but would share it with Boromir, who loved his young brother unconditionally, and recognised his worth, thus giving him the confidence when faced with difficult choices to make the right decision."
I almost want to laugh aloud at the way Gandalf has turned Denethor's words, but the Steward has a look of fury which keeps my laughter in check. "A wizard" (he spits the word out with contempt) who has no family of his own, but seeks to play the father with another man's child..."
"Someone had to", Gandalf interrupts in a voice that although quiet, seems to echo around the great hall, and it has the desired effect, for Denethor looks shocked and uncomfortable, as though Gandalf's words have finally struck a chord.
I feel such sorrow for Faramir, standing there, listening to his father's harsh words, and Gandalf's kinder ones, and I wonder which is worse, for those kind words must surely pierce his heart like arrows, as they remind him that not as a child, nor as a man, has he been shown the love and respect he deserves, and how doubly hard it must have been to grow up in the shadow of a brother who could do no wrong, whilst he could do no right.
Denethor appears to have regained some composure, and as Faramir sways, he seems almost concerned.
"You are weary I see", he says. "You have ridden fast and far, and under shadow of evil in the air I am told. Go now and rest as you may. Tomorrow's need will be sterner".
Faramir bows and leaves the hall, but looks not in my direction, nor in Gandalf's. As I watch him slowly walk away, I am moved by his calm dignity at a time when his heart must be heavy and his mood fragile.
Tomorrow I will pledge myself to Denethor's service, and I now regret my impulsiveness in offering it.
My heart aches for home, for my parents and my sisters. But most of all, my heart aches for Faramir.
THE RECKONING.
"You have something you wish to report to me Captain Faramir?"
Denethor's words are not a question.
"My Lord, I have written........."
"I'm sure you have Captain, but I have no desire at this time to read what you have written. What I want is for you to tell me of the events in Osgiliath two days ago."
My stomach churns. Denethor knows about Frodo and Sam.
"I am aware my Lord, that all my actions are known to you", said Faramir, "and that you deem it necessary to have me watched at all times".
"And is it any wonder?"
Denethor suddenly reminds me of the cat at The Green Dragon, waiting slyly to pounce on a cornered, defenceless mouse.
Denethor's voice is cold. "I am waiting".
He looks pale and nervous, so different from when I first saw him. Then, despite obvious fatigue, he looked every inch a soldier, a captain, a brave leader of men, loved and revered by those who served under him. Now it appears that he is reduced to the status of little more than a naughty child, to be publicly admonished and humiliated by his Lord, his master – his father. He seems to draw strength from somewhere, as he looks the Steward directly in the eye.
"My men captured two halfings, hobbits of The Shire – they were members of the Fellowship formed at Rivendell to return the Ring of Power to the fires of Mt. Doom from whence it came. It was my intention to bring them to Minas Tirith – until I witnessed for myself the destructive power the Ring wields." He pauses, as though unsure whether to continue, before adding, "I learned also that it corrupted my brother and may have played some part in his death, and.....and I took the decision to allow the Ringbearer the freedom to fulfil his quest".
I know from Gandalf that Faramir is a brave and honourable man. He leads his men against terrors that until recently I could only imagine, but I wonder if this is the worst terror of all for him, as he meets his father's eyes – eyes that are full of anger, disappointment, and malice. Faramir holds his gaze and I find myself willing him not to look away – not to let Denethor believe that he is ashamed or repentant of his actions in letting Frodo and Sam go, and the One Ring with them.
I think for a moment that Denethor, on hearing Faramir's account, is going to strike his son. But maybe Gandalf's presence helps him to contain his physical rage, at least for the moment.
I remember when I first saw Denethor, and how his grief for the loss of Boromir, his eldest son, overwhelmed me with sympathy. I thought of my own father, and how he must be feeling at my apparent demise, for he knows not where I am, or what fate has befallen me.
I have always been loved. We all were, my sisters and me, but my father longed for a boy, and my arrival really was the completion of a happy and secure family unit. I've been spoilt all my life, I know that – but there was always enough love to go round, so my sisters never suffered neglect or disdain.
Denethor no longer reminds me of my father. I just see a man who, for whatever reason, is cold and harsh to the point of cruelty, instead of rejoicing that his surviving son has returned safely from battle.
My thoughts turn to Boromir, and I remember his kindness to myself, and Merry, Frodo and Sam. Frequently on the journey from Rivendell he would talk of Gondor, and of his younger brother. It was obvious they shared a great love, and in an unguarded moment he had uttered quietly, and as if in a dream, "I fear for Faramir". Merry and I thought he was talking about the dangers of war, but now I believe he also meant something much closer to home.
I look at Gandalf, and try to work out what he's thinking. He is looking at Denethor with anger on his face, and yet pity in his eyes, and then he looks at Faramir, and his expression changes to one of concern, compassion, and something else......love.
"I hope I have not done ill?" Faramir looks first to his father, but turns to Gandalf, and I know then that the two of them are indeed close. Denethor's next words confirm my opinion.
"Ill? Why do you ask? Or do you ask for my judgement in all your deeds? Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skilfully as ever, but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir, seeking whether you said well, or too much. He has long had your heart in his keeping.
Your brother would not have failed me. He would not have denied me this gift, for he knew it was my dearest wish – and Gondor's only hope. Boromir's heart was true to this land."
For a brief moment Faramir's face bears an expression of pain and hurt at what amounts to an accusation of treachery, but he seems to find new reserve and speaks confidently and with determination.
"It was for Gondor that I acted – bringing it here would have been the downfall of us all."
Gandalf can remain silent no longer.
"Faramir speaks the truth. The Ring has but one master – and that is not you Lord Denethor. Bringing it to Gondor would have brought Sauron into your very midst".
Denethor turns his gaze from Faramir towards Gandalf, his expression one of sheer hatred.
"Of course Mithrandir, I would expect nothing less from you, for was it not you who turned Faramir from the path he was to follow, when he was but a child – looking at him, it is impossible for me not to detect your influence. You filled my son's head with myth and magic, until he had no sense of purpose or duty".
"You do your son a grave injustice". Gandalf speaks calmly but I think he does not feel so. I almost admire Denethor at this moment, for the prospect of an angry Gandalf would intimidate most men.
My attention is drawn again to Faramir, and I think once more of Boromir and his words. My impulsiveness gets the better of me.
"My Lord! Boromir spoke to us often of Faramir, and always with love and respect. He.....he was a great man and warrior, and I think his judgement would have been trustworthy".
I see Gandalf looking at me, and think I've said too much as usual, but for once, he doesn't cuff my ears and call me a fool of a Took, but instead, he smiles. Gandalf is proud of me at last.
Faramir is looking at me also, with gratitude plainly showing in his eyes – eyes that seem to be able to express so much without words. I feel something in my heart that surprises me, for I barely know him – it is akin to my feelings for Merry, Frodo and Sam, a feeling that he is a kindred spirit, and a man who unlike so many others is not corrupt or hungry for power – a man like Aragorn, and yet unlike also, for he has an elvish quality that Aragorn, though raised amongst elves, does not.
A hint of a smile, even amidst his anguish, and I know that Faramir and I will share a bond for however long our lives last, be it short as seems likely, or long, if, because of his actions, Frodo and Sam succeed in the quest.
"Be silent master hobbit!" Denethor turns his anger to me, but I don't mind if it helps Faramir, and gives him just a moment's peace from his father's wrath. "You know nothing of my sons, except that one gave his life in order that you should live, and for that you should be eternally grateful. Had Faramir undertaken the mission to Rivendell, you may not have been so fortunate".
I look at Faramir and smile, hoping to convey that I care nothing for the Steward's words, and have no trust in them. He acknowledges me, and I know he understands, but his face tears at my heart. He has the look of one who is weary of criticism and rejection, and who aches for recognition and some affection, especially now, grieving as he must be for his beloved brother - but Denethor sees only his own grief instead of offering comfort to Faramir, and receiving some in return.
I realise just how grievous is the loss of his brother, for surely Boromir was the only one to show Faramir love, and offer protection – except perhaps for Gandalf, who speaks again.
"Faramir did nothing more – or less – than honour the oath Boromir took at Rivendell, to protect the Ringbearer and support the quest to destroy the weapon of the Enemy".
"I know of no oath other than that which my son made to me", Denethor replies, "To bring the One Ring to Gondor, not to allow a mere halfling to wander into Morder and present it to Sauron on a silver platter".
Gandalf places a hand on Faramir's shoulder.
"Faramir, you did as you should", says the wizard gently. "You behaved with courage and wisdom, and Gondor is in your debt".
Faramir's eyes appear to mist, more reason for Denethor to chastise him, but to me he shows strength – we hobbits have no shame in tears, but welcome them, for not to weep is not to feel.
"As always Mithrandir, you seek to impose your will above mine", says the Steward. "Since childhood has Faramir cared only for your words, and your approval".
"Then you are blind Lord Denethor", is Gandalf's response. "For if Faramir looked to me, it was for friendship – and consolation".
"I find it hard to believe that you perceive yourself to be a mere consolation prize". Denethor's tone is sneering. "It has not gone unnoticed that Faramir was ever more to you than he should have been – and you to he. You moulded the child and made him what he is".
Gandalf looks at Faramir, and his face softens with pride and affection.
"My Lord Denethor, I thank you for the compliment, though I must confess that I alone should not take the credit, but would share it with Boromir, who loved his young brother unconditionally, and recognised his worth, thus giving him the confidence when faced with difficult choices to make the right decision."
I almost want to laugh aloud at the way Gandalf has turned Denethor's words, but the Steward has a look of fury which keeps my laughter in check. "A wizard" (he spits the word out with contempt) who has no family of his own, but seeks to play the father with another man's child..."
"Someone had to", Gandalf interrupts in a voice that although quiet, seems to echo around the great hall, and it has the desired effect, for Denethor looks shocked and uncomfortable, as though Gandalf's words have finally struck a chord.
I feel such sorrow for Faramir, standing there, listening to his father's harsh words, and Gandalf's kinder ones, and I wonder which is worse, for those kind words must surely pierce his heart like arrows, as they remind him that not as a child, nor as a man, has he been shown the love and respect he deserves, and how doubly hard it must have been to grow up in the shadow of a brother who could do no wrong, whilst he could do no right.
Denethor appears to have regained some composure, and as Faramir sways, he seems almost concerned.
"You are weary I see", he says. "You have ridden fast and far, and under shadow of evil in the air I am told. Go now and rest as you may. Tomorrow's need will be sterner".
Faramir bows and leaves the hall, but looks not in my direction, nor in Gandalf's. As I watch him slowly walk away, I am moved by his calm dignity at a time when his heart must be heavy and his mood fragile.
Tomorrow I will pledge myself to Denethor's service, and I now regret my impulsiveness in offering it.
My heart aches for home, for my parents and my sisters. But most of all, my heart aches for Faramir.