*****
Chandler's eyes slowly pulled open as the sound of his alarm began to filter through his head. He groaned as he blindly reached to hit it, when his hand didn't hit anything he sat up and quickly realized that he wasn't in his room. The beeping of his alarm clock was coming from his room, but he wasn't in his room. He moved his hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes tightly as he attempted the ease the throbbing. 'Oh God' he thought as he looked over at the sleeping form of Monica in his bed, it was quickly coming back to him now. 'No no no no no no,' he thought, 'I cant believe I did this,' he scolded himself. It wasn't that Chandler hadn't enjoyed the previous night, but now she was too close.
As Chandler silently cursed himself Monica's eyes softly fluttered open. She quickly remembered what had happened. A small smile spread across her face as the night before flooded her memory. She looked over at Chandler who was looking around the room with an expression she couldn't read. "Hey," she said softly.
Monica's voice interrupted Chandler's thoughts as he looked over and saw that Monica had woken up, 'Oh God, she must hate me right now,' Chandler thought as he braced himself for what he presumed was going to be the end of the world, at least his. He was surprised to find a warm smile on he face, which instantly brought a smile to his face, despite his worry. "Hey," he replied, returning the smile. After several moments Chandler couldn't avoid his natural instinct to worry, and decided to question Monica on where they were. "So, last night was.." he trailed off.
"Amazing," Monica finished for him.
"Yeah, amazing," Chandler agreed. "So, what does that make us, I mean.where do we go from here?" Chandler questioned.
"Well," Monica began, "I know what I want, its just a matter of whether or not we want the same things," she said, not wanting to sound too enthusiastic if he didn't want to start a relationship.
"Okay, well why don't you tell me what you want," Chandler said while his mind and his gut fought a silent battle.
"Well, I want to be able to do this again," Monica smiled suggestively, "but I'm no slut, so either we continue this in some sort of relationship, or we don't continue at all," Monica said.
Chandler silently contemplated his choices. His mind was screaming 'don't continue! For the love of God it's not worth it! C'mon, you're stronger than this, don't wimp out just because you have a crush on this girl!', His gut was yelling just as loudly, 'Last night was amazing, you know you want this! Don't let her get away 'cause with your luck you wont get another chance!', Chandler wandered between the two, his mind made the most sense, give it up and keep her and yourself safe. But his gut wouldn't let him give in that easily, but the more Chandler thought about it the more he realized it wasn't his gut saying all that stuff, it was his heart. Chandler hadn't heard from his heart in a while and the feeling was a little overwhelming. While his mind never had steered him wrong, Chandler couldn't ignore the warning from his heart along with the smile that lighted Monica's face. "I want to do this again too," he said running his hand up her arm, "on a regular basis, I'm thinkin' at least once a day," he said with a light chuckle.
"Well aren't we ambitious," Monica said. She had been worried for a second that he would say he didn't want a relationship, it had taken him longer to answer than she expected. But she had been reassured beyond any doubt when he gave her his winning smile and ran his hand up her arm.
*****
"Joey, what am I gonna do?" Chandler questioned almost frantically as he explained the situation to Joey. It was later in the afternoon and Chandler and Joey were in the cafeteria in the agency.
"What you mean, I thought you wanted to date her, was she not good in the sak?" Joey questioned, not really understanding the problem.
"No, no it wasn't that," Chandler assured Joey, "It's just, you know, now we're involved." Chandler said, as if those words would clearly express his point.
"Sooo?" Joey asked, still not understanding.
"So," Chandler answered, "So, at least when I had a crush on her it was harmless, now we're dating, and it's not so harmless anymore."
"This again?" Joey asked somewhat exasperated. "Listen, Chandler, if you didn't want to date her then why did you agree to in the first place?"
"It's not that I didn't want to, I did want to, I still want to," Chandler defended himself, "It's just, I mean what if something happens?" he asked.
"Oh my God!" Joey exclaimed extremely frustrated, "'what if something happens?'," Joey imitated Chandler in a whiney voice. "What if you actually just try being happy for once?" Joey challenged.
"What are you talking about?" Chandler questioned somewhat offended, "I am happy!"
"Really Chandler, you've been happy the past, what like 10 years, being by yourself?" Joey questioned. "You're happy burying yourself in work so you don't have to worry about having relationships with people? You're happy risking your life on a regular basis just so you can come home to nothing?! If that's what makes you happy then by all means continue living your life that way, but don't end what you have with Monica just because you're afraid of being too happy." Joey said.
Chandler didn't say anything in return, he just looked down at his barely touched soup and contemplated Joey's words.
"I have to get back on that case," Joey said as he got up, half of his sandwich in his hand. "I'll see you later," he said and then walked away.
"See ya," Chandler said, still not looking up from his soup. Chandler remained in the cafeteria thinking about what Joey had said for another twenty minutes. Joey was right, Monica made him happy, and that made him afraid. He was so worried that he would lose Monica that he wouldn't allow himself to be happy with her. They had only been together for a couple of hours and already Chandler was freaking out. Chandler sighed as he got up and went to throw his soup out. 'No matter what' he silently swore to himself, 'I will not choke in this relationship.'
A.N---Okay, I know that this series isn't done, but I think I'm gonna give up on it. I had a lot of stuff planned for this whole series, but I'm just gonna assume that you guys don't like it. I really appreciated the positive feedback I got from those of you who did respond, but this is already in its 5'th chapter and so far I barely have ten reviews. So I'm just gonna take your guys' silence as a hint and just kind of back off. So unless people really want me to continue and manage to convince me, this series is no more. Sorry to those of you who did like it, but I'm just so not motivated to continue something that nobody likes.