His stomach ached, and he almost felt sick.  He still didn't understand it…any of it.  He couldn't understand why it had happened, the feelings of insecurity.  They still lingered within him.  When he caught sight of Hijiri sleeping silently beside him with those salted tracks along his cheeks, Hisoka was at a loss for words.  He knew the other's emotions must still be inside him, and each one horrified him more than the previous.

Seeing the way Hijiri's wrist slowly reached up to hold onto his, Hisoka felt a faint blush fall across his cheeks while he leaned in against Hijiri, wrapping his arms around the other despite everything his mind told him to do.  He liked to argue with himself every now and then, and since his mind told him that it was best to pull away, he listened to the part of his body that found comfort in the warm skin.  Physical needs always preceded mental desires.

It took a moment longer to realize it, but he could feel Watari's arms wrapping around both of their bodies, his discomfort immediately rising.  Somehow, Hijiri had ended up in the middle of both their affections, held tightly through the night as the boy had cried, leaving both Hisoka and Watari silent aside from the tears they too couldn't control.  Something had changed about the area around the young boy.  Not long ago…everything about him had made even Tsuzuki at the brink of insanity smile.  Back then, he'd been jealous of the way Tsuzuki had tried to kill Hijiri, only to kill Hisoka instead.  He'd been jealous of the way Tsuzuki would have touched Hijiri's body, held him close, ripped him apart slowly, but then Hisoka remembered how scared he was too.  If it hadn't been that demon…then maybe his thoughts would have been a little different.

"That's a disgusting thought," Hisoka said to himself, not expecting to have roused Hijiri from his sleep, finding himself immediately lost when those sad eyes looked up at him.

He hadn't known that he'd be so seduced by sadness.  He was afraid of the type of person he was.  It fit Hijiri, to look sad.  The problem was, he didn't know why.

"Everything in my life…has been a lie…" he heard Hijiri whisper softly, smiling in the manner of a servant taking a beating, only smiling out of duty.

Hijiri stood, brushing his fingers through his hair in confusion.  He didn't know how he'd gotten there, but he knew that it hurt, and he knew that he wasn't completely interested in the neck cramp he had gotten from the metal bed.  He liked the warmth, though, since it seemed comforting.  Maybe it was just there, and that made it nice.

"…Oh…I almost forgot that the truth is perception," Hijiri added, sitting up from where he lied between the two.  "Thank you…for tolerating me, Hisoka.  I don't know what's wrong with me lately…  I'll get another violin, though, since I broke the last one when I fell…and then I'll play something beautiful.  That'll make me better.  I feel like something's watching me, using me…and so I want to make that not true."

Hisoka didn't say anything, but rather was elated to realize that his arms and legs belonged to him alone.  It had scared him to be under the control of Hijiri, even when the other had been sleeping.  It was still the thought of weakness, the lack of power, and it left him petrified.  Empathy made him weak, as weak as those around him.  He was starting to wonder if Hijiri was the weakest.

"Hijiri…what do you plan to do while you're here?" Watari slowly asked, watching Hijiri with attentive eyes.

"It seems…you and I have been partnered up…and then…I'm sharing a room with Hisoka…because they're worried about be staying alone."

Hisoka couldn't help but feel his illness increase.  Just the words made him sick with emotion.

Free Talk!

I got really lazy this chapter ;  Haha, it's so short…does it even count as one?  My brain hurts a bit, so I just stopped…  So I'm sorry in advanced.  Hmm, oh yes, about it being like TB…I guess I can see that if you think of Hisoka and Hijiri as twins and Muraki or Watari as the psycho best friend?  I don't know o.o;  Subi and Hotoko having an incestuous relationship sounds a bit disturbing o.o;  Especially since she wanted to marry her brother off to Sei-chan XD  Thoooough, Matsushita-sensei does often talk about how much she loves CLAMP and often models her characters after CLAMP characters, so maybe the coincidence lies in her?  I haven't read TB in over a year too x.x;  Aww, nostalgia…  Well, I promise the chapter tomorrow will be much better (I hope XD)