Okay, I know the first chapter was all about MY demons and my angst. And I
also said it was a one shot. But I realized today that faith isn't a one
shot. It keeps going and evolving, and everyone feels differently about it
than they did the day before. I also decided that sharing my faith under
the Evo category probably wouldn't make too many people happy if it was
just about me. So we're gonna go back to the original plan, but with a
twist. Every day I'll update, and every day will have a new entry in a
prayer journal. It'll be my prayers, of course, but Kurt's at the same
time. Because Kurt is my muse (how cheesy is that?) and he's a visible face
to put on my personality. So. . . keep in mind that this is not only Kurt
writing, but Kitsune Ryune as well.
God Bless you all, and may this fic have the impact that I'm praying it will.
Watashi-no Yôkai
Feb. 19: Today was tough, but I know that you were there with me throughout the day. Sometimes I worry that people will really find out what I'm really like, and as much as that scares me, I kind of want it to happen. After all, hiding behind this image inducer (1) day in and day out is wearing me down. See, I want to be able to go to school as I am, without having to wear a mask, but I know what will happen. People will run away screaming, I'll lose all my friends (except the ones who know what I'm really like), and I'll be left all alone.
It's kind of like that one song that Amanda had me listen to, the Forward Motion one (2). Oh, how did it go. . .?
I've been banging my head against the wall/ for so long it seems I knocked it down/ yeah it got knocked down/
Something like that. That's what my life feels like right now. Like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. It's sort of like trying to explain Trig to Evan. . . very frustrating and depressing. Even so, I've come to a standstill since coming here. With all the time I spend in the Danger Room and with schoolwork, it seems like there hasn't been much time for you lately. I used to talk to you all the time, but it seems like I've just gradually quit. And that's left me feeling abandoned. I didn't even talk to you after finding out about Mystique. A few years ago, you would be the first person I would talk to about something that important.
So basically, I want to find my way back to you. Give me the commitment to keep in touch with you and accept myself for who I am. After all, someone is going to find out about me. I can't just bamf away and run from my problems. Sooner or later, I'll have to face my personal demons.
Even so, I know that you are Eternal Life and the Everlasting Father, and that your love will never leave me. I thank you for all the joy you bring to my life, especially for such great friends as I have at the Institute. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for blessing my life.
In Christ's blessed name, Amen
~~~~
So. . . that's the first entry. Read the first chapter to understand symbolism. I thought Amanda would be someone who listens to Relient K. Eventually, I'm going to have Kurt liking them as well, because they're my favorite band and they have GREAT lyrics that mean a lot Please REVIEW, and let me know if you have questions.
God Bless you all, and may this fic have the impact that I'm praying it will.
Watashi-no Yôkai
Feb. 19: Today was tough, but I know that you were there with me throughout the day. Sometimes I worry that people will really find out what I'm really like, and as much as that scares me, I kind of want it to happen. After all, hiding behind this image inducer (1) day in and day out is wearing me down. See, I want to be able to go to school as I am, without having to wear a mask, but I know what will happen. People will run away screaming, I'll lose all my friends (except the ones who know what I'm really like), and I'll be left all alone.
It's kind of like that one song that Amanda had me listen to, the Forward Motion one (2). Oh, how did it go. . .?
I've been banging my head against the wall/ for so long it seems I knocked it down/ yeah it got knocked down/
Something like that. That's what my life feels like right now. Like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. It's sort of like trying to explain Trig to Evan. . . very frustrating and depressing. Even so, I've come to a standstill since coming here. With all the time I spend in the Danger Room and with schoolwork, it seems like there hasn't been much time for you lately. I used to talk to you all the time, but it seems like I've just gradually quit. And that's left me feeling abandoned. I didn't even talk to you after finding out about Mystique. A few years ago, you would be the first person I would talk to about something that important.
So basically, I want to find my way back to you. Give me the commitment to keep in touch with you and accept myself for who I am. After all, someone is going to find out about me. I can't just bamf away and run from my problems. Sooner or later, I'll have to face my personal demons.
Even so, I know that you are Eternal Life and the Everlasting Father, and that your love will never leave me. I thank you for all the joy you bring to my life, especially for such great friends as I have at the Institute. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for blessing my life.
In Christ's blessed name, Amen
~~~~
So. . . that's the first entry. Read the first chapter to understand symbolism. I thought Amanda would be someone who listens to Relient K. Eventually, I'm going to have Kurt liking them as well, because they're my favorite band and they have GREAT lyrics that mean a lot Please REVIEW, and let me know if you have questions.