There are times when I absolutely hate my life. Hate hate hate hate hate.
These are the times when I become cynical, depressed, and totally anti-
social. These are the times when I can't really compare myself to Kurt,
because he's too.. happy. He's rarely depressed, so how on earth can I be
like him in this state? These are the times when I feel more like Rogue.
And as we all know, family can influence spirituality, neh? So don't worry,
the forward motion is still Kurt's... and mine. We just have a new
narrator, that's all.
Side note: The next chapter I actually wrote before this one, but I thought it made more sense with the Rogue chapter before the depressed chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Watashi-no Youkai
Ever since Kurt stopped wearing his image inducer, he's been getting a lot of crap from the people at school. They tease him mercilessly, and for the most part he's completly oblivious to it. I don't think I would do much about it, though, if it hadn't been for Duncan. Now, everyone knows Duncan's an ass, and he likes to attack anything that has to do with mutants. Since he knows not to attack Scott (too dangerous), Jean (also too dangerous, he might wind up in a coma) or Kitty (dangerous as well, thanks to Lance) he targeted Kurt. AND me. Of course, I set myself up for some of the insults I get from stupid preps like them, but with everything, Duncan took it WAY TOO FAR.
Duncan thinks it's funny to make fun of Kurt's faith as well. Kurt is one of the most spiritually devoted people I know, and he does a good job of keeping his integrity. Duncan, for his part, kept his distance and respected Kurt for his convictions. That is, until we were all exposed. Day by day, Duncan would increase the ammount of taunting on Kurt's behalf until it just got to be too much.
I have never seen anyone explode like Kurt did that day. I mean, I've seen Jean on PMS and even she couldn't rival Kurt that day! Duncan was obviously trying to push his buttons, and Kurt didn't help himself very much.
"How dare you make assumptions about me ven you don't even KNOW me!" Kurt was shouting as I rounded the corner near my locker with Kitty. Duncan had that sefl-satified smirk every anal-retentive jock seems to get when they think they're right about something. "First of all, God doesn't send people to hell. People go to hell because of what they do in life and as an atonement for their sins! Second, Jesus never condemned anyone to hell, like you are saying. Just because he claimed people would get what they deserve does not mean Jesus was a sadistic person and morally wrong because of that. So you are a fool for misinterpreting what is spelled out in plain and simple vords! Besides, vhy vould Christ vant someone to be in pain ven he himself was crucified, the vurst possible death anyone could ever experience?!"
"Maybe the crucifixtion wasn't real. I mean, c'mon, why would someone not defend themselves if they were innocent. And I still say that you are a tool." Everyone but Kurt gasped at Duncan's accusation.
"Vas? If you mean I do God's work, yeah. Of course." Kurt was thourghouly puzzled.
"I mean you are a tool. Tool means that you don't think for yourself, you don't act for yourself, nothing. You're just a Christian because your parents raised you that way and some 3000 year old book tells you you have to live a certain way." THe smirk widened." Not much going for ya, freak boy."
Kurt's blood was obviously boiling, and so was mine. "THat is ENOUGH! I'm not much of a church-goer, but NOONE stands around and insults my brother that way! Duncan, if you have to resort to personal attacks and arguments about Kurt's being a mutant, then you aren't much better than a tool yourself. At least Kurt can argue theology without insulting you, because he's above that. I'm not. You are a stupid, bigoted DUMBASS who will never ammount to anything because you've wasted all your brains on football and picking up girls! And I'm going to LAUGH at you when you're working in the Bayville coal mines and Kurt's off doing something a whole lot better!"
I gave him the ol' double deuce and stormed off, dragging Kurt with me. Kitty trailed behind us. "Oh my god, I have never seen either of you that mad before! It was, like, scary! Are you guys gonna be okay, 'cause if not, I can probably get Scott or Jean to get you out of school for the rest of the day, or something, y'know?"
"Can it, Kitty, okay?" I snapped. "You're not helping."
Kurt wrenched his hand out of my grasp and whirled me around. "Ja? And vat do you tink you vere doing back there, huh? You tink you vere helping very much? Yelling at Duncan isn't going to do much. Now I'm gonna get teased even more because my SISTER had to defend me! Thanks a lot, Rogue." A puff of smoke and the smell of sulfur, along with the distinctive "bamf" hearalded his departure.
I sat down on the floor, back against the lockers. "I hate my life. Hate it, hate it, hate it." Kitty plopped down next to me and raised an eyebrow in question. I glared at her. "Not like you'd ever understand." I stood up and stomped off, hating her, hating Kurt, hating Duncan, hating Jean, and hating everything in the world around me.
I decided to skip the last three hours. School's stupid anyway, and I can make good grades without much effort. Arriving at the Institute, I scaled the wall to my second floor window. It was locked. "Damn," I muttered, trying to dredge up anything I had absorbed from Kitty. I found something, and before I knew it I was flat on my face, half-way inside my room. I phased the rest of the way, and sat down on my bed. Everything in my life sucks, I mused. I pulled out my journal, and started to write
I hate my life. Even if I hadn't stood up for Kurt today, I'd still hate it. I can't get near to anyone, I'm an outcast, and to top everything off, my friends and family hate me. There is absolutely no point in living, so why the hell do I bother?
I considered this some. Why was I even bothering with drudging through high school? Of course, the standard lecture from Scott about teamwork and depending on eachother popped into my head. Then, well, I don't remember what I was thinking, all I know is that it involved Scott and breatheable latex. LOTS of it. Kitty came in later and interrupted my fantasies.
"Y'know, you can be a real bitch sometimes, Rogue."
"Gee, thanks."
"No, really, listen. I know you have some tough stuff you're going through, but it's not all bad. Go talk to Kurt. Apparently he skipped today, too, and he seems to have some issures of his own. You shouldn't stay mad at eachother like, forever."
I thought that was maybe a good idea. Picking up a dusty old bible, I headed off for his room. Life is hard for all of us, and there's no reason why we should endure it alone, right?
Side note: The next chapter I actually wrote before this one, but I thought it made more sense with the Rogue chapter before the depressed chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Watashi-no Youkai
Ever since Kurt stopped wearing his image inducer, he's been getting a lot of crap from the people at school. They tease him mercilessly, and for the most part he's completly oblivious to it. I don't think I would do much about it, though, if it hadn't been for Duncan. Now, everyone knows Duncan's an ass, and he likes to attack anything that has to do with mutants. Since he knows not to attack Scott (too dangerous), Jean (also too dangerous, he might wind up in a coma) or Kitty (dangerous as well, thanks to Lance) he targeted Kurt. AND me. Of course, I set myself up for some of the insults I get from stupid preps like them, but with everything, Duncan took it WAY TOO FAR.
Duncan thinks it's funny to make fun of Kurt's faith as well. Kurt is one of the most spiritually devoted people I know, and he does a good job of keeping his integrity. Duncan, for his part, kept his distance and respected Kurt for his convictions. That is, until we were all exposed. Day by day, Duncan would increase the ammount of taunting on Kurt's behalf until it just got to be too much.
I have never seen anyone explode like Kurt did that day. I mean, I've seen Jean on PMS and even she couldn't rival Kurt that day! Duncan was obviously trying to push his buttons, and Kurt didn't help himself very much.
"How dare you make assumptions about me ven you don't even KNOW me!" Kurt was shouting as I rounded the corner near my locker with Kitty. Duncan had that sefl-satified smirk every anal-retentive jock seems to get when they think they're right about something. "First of all, God doesn't send people to hell. People go to hell because of what they do in life and as an atonement for their sins! Second, Jesus never condemned anyone to hell, like you are saying. Just because he claimed people would get what they deserve does not mean Jesus was a sadistic person and morally wrong because of that. So you are a fool for misinterpreting what is spelled out in plain and simple vords! Besides, vhy vould Christ vant someone to be in pain ven he himself was crucified, the vurst possible death anyone could ever experience?!"
"Maybe the crucifixtion wasn't real. I mean, c'mon, why would someone not defend themselves if they were innocent. And I still say that you are a tool." Everyone but Kurt gasped at Duncan's accusation.
"Vas? If you mean I do God's work, yeah. Of course." Kurt was thourghouly puzzled.
"I mean you are a tool. Tool means that you don't think for yourself, you don't act for yourself, nothing. You're just a Christian because your parents raised you that way and some 3000 year old book tells you you have to live a certain way." THe smirk widened." Not much going for ya, freak boy."
Kurt's blood was obviously boiling, and so was mine. "THat is ENOUGH! I'm not much of a church-goer, but NOONE stands around and insults my brother that way! Duncan, if you have to resort to personal attacks and arguments about Kurt's being a mutant, then you aren't much better than a tool yourself. At least Kurt can argue theology without insulting you, because he's above that. I'm not. You are a stupid, bigoted DUMBASS who will never ammount to anything because you've wasted all your brains on football and picking up girls! And I'm going to LAUGH at you when you're working in the Bayville coal mines and Kurt's off doing something a whole lot better!"
I gave him the ol' double deuce and stormed off, dragging Kurt with me. Kitty trailed behind us. "Oh my god, I have never seen either of you that mad before! It was, like, scary! Are you guys gonna be okay, 'cause if not, I can probably get Scott or Jean to get you out of school for the rest of the day, or something, y'know?"
"Can it, Kitty, okay?" I snapped. "You're not helping."
Kurt wrenched his hand out of my grasp and whirled me around. "Ja? And vat do you tink you vere doing back there, huh? You tink you vere helping very much? Yelling at Duncan isn't going to do much. Now I'm gonna get teased even more because my SISTER had to defend me! Thanks a lot, Rogue." A puff of smoke and the smell of sulfur, along with the distinctive "bamf" hearalded his departure.
I sat down on the floor, back against the lockers. "I hate my life. Hate it, hate it, hate it." Kitty plopped down next to me and raised an eyebrow in question. I glared at her. "Not like you'd ever understand." I stood up and stomped off, hating her, hating Kurt, hating Duncan, hating Jean, and hating everything in the world around me.
I decided to skip the last three hours. School's stupid anyway, and I can make good grades without much effort. Arriving at the Institute, I scaled the wall to my second floor window. It was locked. "Damn," I muttered, trying to dredge up anything I had absorbed from Kitty. I found something, and before I knew it I was flat on my face, half-way inside my room. I phased the rest of the way, and sat down on my bed. Everything in my life sucks, I mused. I pulled out my journal, and started to write
I hate my life. Even if I hadn't stood up for Kurt today, I'd still hate it. I can't get near to anyone, I'm an outcast, and to top everything off, my friends and family hate me. There is absolutely no point in living, so why the hell do I bother?
I considered this some. Why was I even bothering with drudging through high school? Of course, the standard lecture from Scott about teamwork and depending on eachother popped into my head. Then, well, I don't remember what I was thinking, all I know is that it involved Scott and breatheable latex. LOTS of it. Kitty came in later and interrupted my fantasies.
"Y'know, you can be a real bitch sometimes, Rogue."
"Gee, thanks."
"No, really, listen. I know you have some tough stuff you're going through, but it's not all bad. Go talk to Kurt. Apparently he skipped today, too, and he seems to have some issures of his own. You shouldn't stay mad at eachother like, forever."
I thought that was maybe a good idea. Picking up a dusty old bible, I headed off for his room. Life is hard for all of us, and there's no reason why we should endure it alone, right?