Musings of the Heart By Cold-Zephyr
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own the songs, don't own the Superstars, don't own squat. I thank you very much.
Summary: A songfic series of the Superstars' love lives, as well as their heartaches.
A/N: Here's the ninth one! Matt/Amy, a classic pairing, and note that it takes place right after the Raw episode where Matt saved Amy from Kane. Enjoy!
~~~
Chapter 9: Weak
Song Title: "Sorry 2004" Artist: Ruben Studdard
Pairing: Matt/Amy (a.k.a. Lita) POV of: Matt Hardy
~~~
It's like I missed a shot, it's like I dropped the ball
It's like I'm on stage, and I forgot the words
It's like building a new house with no roof and no doors
It's like trying to propose when I ain't got the ring
Damn, I'm sorry
~
I can't believe I just did that. I risked my body, my career, just to save her.
I thought I was well over her. Oh, who am I kidding? I missed her badly, really badly. Dumping her was the biggest mistake I ever made. I planned to bury my pain regret for the rest of my life and try to move on. I planned to take it like a man. And I was doing pretty well at hiding my feelings, quickly turning into a pretentious, self-centered bastard. No, I didn't like it one bit. But what the hell am I supposed to do, get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness like some weak, pathetic loser?
No. Matt Hardy is not weak.
Matt Hardy is miserable.
~
But girl I've apologized a million times before.
I'll apologize a million more
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done.
Get ready babe, here's One million one.
~
I will never admit weakness. Never...I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and lonely...or maybe if I'm lucky, I'd find someone else to love? Nah...not a chance in hell.
So why exactly did I just save her earlier? I don't really know...I guess that just burying your feelings won't make them go away.
~
Girl this is my sorry for 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance, and make it real clear.
I'm sorry for May and I'm sorry for June
And I'm sorry for July in case I don't tell you.
August, September, October, November 'till your December.
I'm Sorry.
~
I shove my bag into the trunk of my car and shut the lid. I'm about to enter the driver's seat and just drive away from all the confusion of what happened earlier.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. Oh, God...is that her? No, please...no...
"Matt, I want to talk to you." It is her.
"What the fuck do you want, Amy?" It's back to the pretentious, self- centered bastard again, I suppose.
She looks taken aback. Good, good...this is how I want her to feel...right? Right? "Well, I just wanted to ask you, Matt...why did you protect me from Kane earlier?"
"Uh, because...what? Me, protect you? No fucking way! I was trying to fend him off because only a sissy would run away from him, that's why! So don't go feeling all high and mighty there, princess, I didn't do it for you."
Now she's clearly hurt. "I...I see. Well, thanks anyway, I guess." She's walking away now.
Okay, thank God it's over with. Now Matt, just get in the car and drive away. You're no weakling, now forget about her and just get in the car...
"Amy, wait!" The weakness controls me now. What a fucking pansy I am.
~
Its like stayin' out at night, had way too much to drink.
It's like you change your hair, and I dont say a thing.
It's like we're fallin' fast asleep, with no kiss, and before we hit.
And it's like I forgot your gift on 02 14 03.
Yeah, so sorry.
But girl I've apologized a million times before.
I'll apologize a million more
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done.
Get ready babe, here's One million one.
~
"What?"
"Amy..." There's no stopping it now. I swallowed my pride and just caved in. "Amy, I was lying. I saved you earlier because I care about you a whole lot. I can't just let you get hurt. I was a complete idiot to let you get away, my ego just took over me, you know? And I've been sorry, I've been depressed, I've been miserable ever since. I tried so hard to get over it, but I just can't. I miss you too much. It's totally okay if you don't miss me at all, it's okay if you're already over me, but I just needed to get this off my chest, so maybe I could have a better chance of living a semi-normal life without wondering what might have been."
~
I'm sorry for the way that I did you
I'm sorry for the thought and how I hurt you girl
I'm sorry on the first day, sorry on the second day
Sorry for the things I did, sorry for the things I said
Sorry for the lies, sorry for the time
That I didn't get you what you want
That I didn't get you what you like
What can I do to tell you that I'm sorry?
~
"Oh, Matt," she grabbed me by the collar with both her hands and pulled me in for a kiss, shocking me to the core. Tears ran down both her cheeks. I wiped them off as she finally pulled away. "I didn't want to admit this either, but I miss you too. I thought I was over you, but I was only fooling myself."
I sighed, looking at the floor. "Well, what do we do now? Start over from square one?"
"Well, yeah."
So I caved in to weakness, and cast away my pride, the last thing I wanted to do, but sometimes you gotta do that for the more important things in life. In my case, Amy.
~~~
Once again, I thank you all for reading my painstakingly-toiled-over work, and I hope you'll take the time to review it. If you like it, then I'd be more than glad to conjure up another! Thanks, y'all...~*Cold-Zephyr*~
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own the songs, don't own the Superstars, don't own squat. I thank you very much.
Summary: A songfic series of the Superstars' love lives, as well as their heartaches.
A/N: Here's the ninth one! Matt/Amy, a classic pairing, and note that it takes place right after the Raw episode where Matt saved Amy from Kane. Enjoy!
~~~
Chapter 9: Weak
Song Title: "Sorry 2004" Artist: Ruben Studdard
Pairing: Matt/Amy (a.k.a. Lita) POV of: Matt Hardy
~~~
It's like I missed a shot, it's like I dropped the ball
It's like I'm on stage, and I forgot the words
It's like building a new house with no roof and no doors
It's like trying to propose when I ain't got the ring
Damn, I'm sorry
~
I can't believe I just did that. I risked my body, my career, just to save her.
I thought I was well over her. Oh, who am I kidding? I missed her badly, really badly. Dumping her was the biggest mistake I ever made. I planned to bury my pain regret for the rest of my life and try to move on. I planned to take it like a man. And I was doing pretty well at hiding my feelings, quickly turning into a pretentious, self-centered bastard. No, I didn't like it one bit. But what the hell am I supposed to do, get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness like some weak, pathetic loser?
No. Matt Hardy is not weak.
Matt Hardy is miserable.
~
But girl I've apologized a million times before.
I'll apologize a million more
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done.
Get ready babe, here's One million one.
~
I will never admit weakness. Never...I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and lonely...or maybe if I'm lucky, I'd find someone else to love? Nah...not a chance in hell.
So why exactly did I just save her earlier? I don't really know...I guess that just burying your feelings won't make them go away.
~
Girl this is my sorry for 2004.
And I ain't gonna mess up no more, this year.
I'm 'a take this one chance, and make it real clear.
I'm sorry for May and I'm sorry for June
And I'm sorry for July in case I don't tell you.
August, September, October, November 'till your December.
I'm Sorry.
~
I shove my bag into the trunk of my car and shut the lid. I'm about to enter the driver's seat and just drive away from all the confusion of what happened earlier.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. Oh, God...is that her? No, please...no...
"Matt, I want to talk to you." It is her.
"What the fuck do you want, Amy?" It's back to the pretentious, self- centered bastard again, I suppose.
She looks taken aback. Good, good...this is how I want her to feel...right? Right? "Well, I just wanted to ask you, Matt...why did you protect me from Kane earlier?"
"Uh, because...what? Me, protect you? No fucking way! I was trying to fend him off because only a sissy would run away from him, that's why! So don't go feeling all high and mighty there, princess, I didn't do it for you."
Now she's clearly hurt. "I...I see. Well, thanks anyway, I guess." She's walking away now.
Okay, thank God it's over with. Now Matt, just get in the car and drive away. You're no weakling, now forget about her and just get in the car...
"Amy, wait!" The weakness controls me now. What a fucking pansy I am.
~
Its like stayin' out at night, had way too much to drink.
It's like you change your hair, and I dont say a thing.
It's like we're fallin' fast asleep, with no kiss, and before we hit.
And it's like I forgot your gift on 02 14 03.
Yeah, so sorry.
But girl I've apologized a million times before.
I'll apologize a million more
So here it comes again for all the wrong I've done.
Get ready babe, here's One million one.
~
"What?"
"Amy..." There's no stopping it now. I swallowed my pride and just caved in. "Amy, I was lying. I saved you earlier because I care about you a whole lot. I can't just let you get hurt. I was a complete idiot to let you get away, my ego just took over me, you know? And I've been sorry, I've been depressed, I've been miserable ever since. I tried so hard to get over it, but I just can't. I miss you too much. It's totally okay if you don't miss me at all, it's okay if you're already over me, but I just needed to get this off my chest, so maybe I could have a better chance of living a semi-normal life without wondering what might have been."
~
I'm sorry for the way that I did you
I'm sorry for the thought and how I hurt you girl
I'm sorry on the first day, sorry on the second day
Sorry for the things I did, sorry for the things I said
Sorry for the lies, sorry for the time
That I didn't get you what you want
That I didn't get you what you like
What can I do to tell you that I'm sorry?
~
"Oh, Matt," she grabbed me by the collar with both her hands and pulled me in for a kiss, shocking me to the core. Tears ran down both her cheeks. I wiped them off as she finally pulled away. "I didn't want to admit this either, but I miss you too. I thought I was over you, but I was only fooling myself."
I sighed, looking at the floor. "Well, what do we do now? Start over from square one?"
"Well, yeah."
So I caved in to weakness, and cast away my pride, the last thing I wanted to do, but sometimes you gotta do that for the more important things in life. In my case, Amy.
~~~
Once again, I thank you all for reading my painstakingly-toiled-over work, and I hope you'll take the time to review it. If you like it, then I'd be more than glad to conjure up another! Thanks, y'all...~*Cold-Zephyr*~