((Author's Note: Just a (very) short piece of introspective weirdness, set in the final episode of the anime. Unfortunately, I haven't read the manga yet. If you send me the manga, I shall love you forever.))

((Warning: Mildest of Sato/Dai here.))

Owarii

"That can't be..."

"It is a ritual to break down the flesh of my body." His explanation is brief and matter-of-fact. Satoshi is a person who can give orders, or make quiet observations – he has never been one for long speeches. He will not wax lyrical about the glory of death, because he knows that there is no glory in this... there is only necessity. It is necessary for the last of the Hikari bloodline to take his own life, and so he shall do so.

"This can only be done when I am within myself."

He is not afraid.

Fear is for cowards, or for those who doubt that what they are doing is right. Satoshi is neither of these. He continues unfalteringly to trace the lines of the ritual, because he knows that this is what he must do – he knows that this is the only way in which he can get rid of Krad.

He is not running away. He is not running away.

"You can't..." A cry of pain sounds from behind him, and Satoshi wills himself not to flinch. He does not turn around, but he can picture the exact look of incredulous horror on Niwa-kun's face from where he is crouching. He knows that, if he actually sees Niwa, his resolve will falter and the ritual will fail. He cannot allow that to happen. Now is his only chance.

...only be done when I am within myself...

"You're going to kill yourself?" Niwa's voice is tinged with shock and confusion.

It is a stupid question, Satoshi thinks with calm detachment. Of course he is going to kill himself. Below his rapidly-tracing fingers, the glowing lines continue to form.

He is not doing this merely to escape Krad. He is not so weak yet that he would turn to Death and beg it for shelter. He is doing this because he has to.

There is no weakness, no glory, no strength. This is not a refuge, this is not running. There are only lines, traced glowing on the nonexistent ground within Krad's mind.

Lines do not frighten him. He is not afraid.

Niwa Daisuke is afraid, though. He is afraid for Satoshi, and that makes it harder – it is harder to die now. Satoshi did not know, when he understood what he would have to do, that Niwa-kun would be here. He would have been able to complete the ritual on his own, but now he is unsure.

It is not fear. He does not fear for himself, he does not fear for Daisuke. He is concerned, though, because he knows that this will hurt Niwa-kun, and Satoshi hates to see Niwa in pain.

Sometimes, though, there is no other option.

The final line.

Niwa stands behind him, wide-eyed and miserable. Satoshi looks over to him, just for a moment – and, for the first time, he hesitates.

It would be so easy, now, simply to walk away from the circle. To go to Niwa-kun and embrace him, kiss him, tell him all the things that Satoshi has been waiting to tell him for so long.

So easy...

::What are you doing? ...I know that symbol.::

Krad's 'voice' brings his thoughts back to the situation at hand, and he knows what he must do. It will hurt Niwa, certainly... but Krad must be defeated. There can be no space for regret.

::You can't do this. If you try, I will take the boy that you care for so and tear him to pieces.::

Daisuke... if there were any other way, I would take it. If I don't do this now, the alternative is far, far worse.

I...

I'm sorry.

Satoshi stands slowly, closes his eyes, and steps into the circle.