Author's Notes: I suspect… no, I'm absolutely certain that no amount of apologies will satisfy you… Anyway, let me try: I'm very, very sorry for neglecting this fic like that… but it's not dead yet, I swear! There will be more updates in the future… it's just that, believe me or not, my low self-esteem prevents me from updating. --sigh-- I'm pedantic and a very harsh judge when it comes to my own works… no matter how hard I try, they will always be imperfect… grrr, I hate it. …And besides, I can't stand silly love-stories… and this fic --in my head, anyway-- is slowly turning into one. So beware! Run while you still can!
Chapter Four: Friends or enemies?
A fragile girl throwing herself recklessly at a vicious beast in order to save a half-dead man was probably one of the strangest… not to mention most foolish things Seymour had ever witnessed, yet at the same time he had to admit that the sight was amazing and, in a way, beautiful. However, it wasn't the right moment to marvel at Yuna's courage. Her bravery and determination alone, no matter how impressive, weren't enough to defeat the monster.
Meanwhile, the said girl suddenly found herself less than sixty feet away from the fiend - shaken, empty-handed and without the foggiest idea what to do next. Summoning an aeon without her rod was impossible; besides, she didn't have that much time; the Crusader's cries were gradually becoming weaker. In a desperate attempt at distracting the beast's attention, she grabbed a small stone and flung it with all her might… but just as she had feared, the monster didn't even notice this 'attack'. The rock bounced harmlessly of its shell.
However, Yuna stubbornly refused to give up. She could still think of at least one way of helping the dying man. Biting her upper lip in a rare surge of frustration, she crossed her hands at her chest, concentrating so hard that her vision went white all of a sudden.
It was a healing spell; so powerful that Seymour involuntarily paused in his steps, violet eyes widening in disbelief. One thing was certain - he had clearly underestimated this girl… terribly so. Unfortunately, the monster must have realized this, too, instantly loosing all interest in its former pray. Slowly, though with remarkable ease, it started to crawl in the girl's direction.
Yuna couldn't help but feel equally surprised with her own performance; honestly, she had never thought herself capable of using such a strong spell. She wasn't given a chance to celebrate, though, as she suddenly felt dizzy… dizzy and completely exhausted. After all, she had just used a great amount of her own life-energy to cure the man.
She paled and swayed, collapsing to the ground. There was hardly any time left before the monster reached her. In a split of a second, white light surrounded Seymour's long, slender fingers, and several ice shards shot in the fiend's direction, piercing its thick skin and nearly striking it down. Still, the magic had been too weak, or perhaps the monster simply lacked the basic instinct of self-preservation, because it kept moving towards the girl. Seymour winced, suddenly realizing that another spell was out of question; the creature was already too close to Yuna.
This is so not my day…
Yevon must have taken pity on both of them, because he ran up to the semi-conscious girl just in time, managing to push her aside at the very last moment, a mere second before the fiend's claws struck. Both summoners fell to the ground and rolled to the side, raising a huge cloud of dust in the process. Angry, half-blind from all the sand in his eyes, Seymour instinctively tried to climb back to his feet and cast a second spell, but, before he could do anything, the monster crushed into him, pinning him to the ground with its heavy body.
He didn't even have a chance to scream as the air was forcefully knocked out of his lungs. Fury and dread filled him at once, because he realized that he was undoubtedly going to…
---and he instantly remembered his father's lifeless, almost reproachful gaze when---
Eyes tightly shut, he could suddenly hear the monster shriek in pain. Paralyzed with fear and having no idea what was going on, Seymour didn't dare to move. Then, a few agonizing moments later, somebody pushed the ponderous body aside, just as it started to dissolve into dozens of pyreflies.
Freed from the weight on his chest, the young maester lay on the ground, breathing heavily. His left arm hurt like hell, so much that he had to clench his teeth to keep himself from screaming.
"Get up."
Seymour didn't recognize the calm voice at first, even though it sounded disturbingly familiar. He slowly opened his eyes, only to see a dark, massive figure towering over him. And, much to his consternation, it was Auron, cold and impassive as ever, complete with a bare katana in his hands.
Did he just… save my life?
It took only a moment, really, and a quick flick of Auron's wrist to remove the remains of the fiend's blood from the blade. Then the ex-monk sheathed his sword and wordlessly extended his right hand towards Seymour… who could only blink in surprise. A few awkward seconds passed; neither of them spoke. Finally, the younger man heaved a sigh of relief.
"Thank you," he said simply, reaching for Auron's hand.
Still feeling ill, Yuna somehow managed to sit up, absently digging her fingers into the sand, trying to calm down a bit. She had never been so close to dying before… and only now did she finally realize how utterly terrifying this kind of experience was.
In spite of her sometimes rather low opinion of herself, she was no coward. After all, she had willingly set out on a pilgrimage that would eventually lead to her death. Nevertheless, she had always imagined her final moments to look different, more… dignified. She had thought she would be given enough time to prepare, find inner peace, gather her courage, maybe even make a short speech…
And, as she sat there, dizzy and trebling, it finally hit her. I may never be able to reach Zanarkand… I may as well die somewhere on my way… How silly and conceited I've been to take things for granted…
A few seconds passed and, suddenly, Lulu and Wakka were by her side, both visibly concerned, asking if she was all right. She nodded wearily, not trusting her own voice. The blitzer wanted to know if she knew what happened to Tidus, which was kind of frightening --how come Wakka doesn't know?-- and she found herself unable to reply. She felt sleepy, so unbelievably tired… but, if only for her friends' sake, she tried not to fall unconscious. She noticed that more people started to gather around her… but she couldn't see many of them. Twenty, maybe twenty-five survivors… out of two hundred people that took part in Operation Mi'hen. And there wasn't even a single Al Bhed among them.
One of these lucky - though Yuna wondered if they really considered themselves lucky - survivors, a dark-haired Crusader, stepped in front of her. Looking away, he absently rubbed a trickle of dried blood on his cheek, as if unsure how to start; then bowed in the gesture of prayer. "…Lady Yuna?" She nodded.
"We… we have a favor to ask of you…" the man hesitated, probably noticing the haunted look in her eyes. "Could you… please… perform the sending?"
"Hey!" Wakka shouted angrily. "Can't ya see she's exhausted!?"
"I… I know. I'm sorry. …But," the man opposed gently, "if Lady Yuna doesn't send them right now, they'll all become fiends."
"I…" Yuna's voice was hoarse, not her own.
A second Crusader took a couple of steps forward. "Lady Yuna, we beg of you. Send them!"
A third man joined the two. Then another one. The voices grew in strength.
"Please! Give them the rest they deserve!"
Meanwhile, Seymour stood up with Auron's help. As soon as the maester was back on his feet, Auron let go of his hand and stormed off in the ocean's direction.
Deciding to ignore the unnerving guardian for the time being, Seymour risked a quick glance at his injured arm, wincing slightly at the unpleasant sight. A large part of his once elegant sleeve was now soaked with fresh blood; blood that was still flowing slowly down his arm, dripping from his long fingers. Carefully, he touched the wound, hissing in pain as he did so.
Awful… but I'll live. The thought filled him with infinite relief. He whispered a simple curative spell and the bleeding stopped.
…Unfortunately, the pain remained.
"Ro-roushi-sama!" he heard somebody cry behind his back. "Are you all right!?"
"…Arvel," Seymour turned around, a humorless smile on his lips. "I'm glad to see you alive."
"Seymour-sama…" the Guado was out of breath. "I saw it all… I saw you fall… Roushi… I thought you were going to die… may praise be to Yevon…"
"I'd say… you should rather thank that man," Seymour looked to the right, but Auron was already far away, walking towards the ocean.
"--But I don't want my friends to become monsters!" a young Crusader shouted, his voice clearly indicating that he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Please!"
"Look, Lady Yuna can't do anything right now," Lulu gracefully rose to her feet, her usually calm face betraying signs of immense irritation.
"It's a-all right, Lulu…" Yuna interrupted wearily. She tried to stand up as well, almost falling down on her face in the process, yet somehow - mostly with Wakka's help - managing to keep her balance. "Th-they are right. It is my duty as a summoner. I… I will perform the sending."
"Yuna…" the black-haired sorceress frowned, worried.
"Milady…" another Crusader shook his head, looking away in embarrassment. "I'm terribly sorry, but… please, you have to understand-"
"Are you mad!?" Wakka was nowhere as subtle as his friends. "Can't ya see she can barely stand?"
"But--"
Seymour had enough. He had been listening to this 'conversation' for a while and he certainly didn't like where it was going. Driven by a sudden impulse, he approached the group of nearly hysterical people. "Enough," he said sharply, in a soft, yet powerful voice, causing everyone to fall silent. The Crusaders eyed him wearily. "…Let her rest," he said quietly, almost too quietly to be heard. "I will take care of the sending."
"Roushi-sama… you can't!" Arvel gasped. "Your arm!"
"Maester…?" the young Crusader seemed uncertain at first, but he made up his mind very quickly. "Please… We'd be so grateful…" he fell to his knees; some of the others followed.
"You…" Yuna opposed, swaying a little bit, as her vision blurred. "But you are…"
"Don't worry," he interrupted. "I'll be fine."
"I can do this," she seemed determined. "It is my duty…"
"I won't let you," Seymour shook his head, his lips curled in a gentle smile. --I'm sorry for being blunt, but-- "Yuna-dono, in your current state… you would only drown."
The girl hung her head, unable to protest. Seymour, she knew, had told her nothing but the truth. "I… I am very sorry," she admitted, suddenly feeling weak, worthless, vulnerable… and angry at herself… for failing miserably when people needed her the most…
It must be very painful for her, Seymour realized, watching her carefully. He didn't quite understand why, but decided to think about it later, when he had the time.
"Maester, it would be a great honor for our fallen comrades," somebody from the crowd spoke.
Seymour nodded. "Very well, then, " He turned around and started to walk in the ocean's direction.
"But… but… Roushi-sama! You're wounded!" Arvel exclaimed, finally regaining the ability to speak.
"Well, I'm still on my feet, am I not?" he retorted dryly.
"Roushi, please, think this through--"
"Arvel," Seymour's voice was cold, authoritative, and the servant fell silent at once. "I have already made my decision."
He was already to far away from the crowd to notice that, behind his back, Yuna finally lost her consciousness, collapsing to the ground.
Grim as usual, Auron stood on the shore, carefully scanning the ocean's grey surface and hoping against hope that maybe he would spot Tidus' blonde head somewhere above the water. However, the blitzer was nowhere in sight and the guardian was gradually becoming more and more worried. What if the boy had been caught in the explosion? What if some monster had killed him? What if he had fallen to the water, unconscious, and drowned there? And what if…
What if Jecht had taken his son with him?
Auron's scowl deepened; he growled in frustration, clenching his hands into fists. Ridiculous! he mentally berated himself.
…Yet he clearly didn't feel so certain about this.
At first, Seymour wanted to ignore the brooding guardian and pass him by in silence, but it somehow didn't seem right. Did I… misjudge him? The stubborn thought made him pause in his footsteps. After all, he did save my life…
Glancing back over his shoulder to make sure that no one would accidentally overhear them, Seymour slowly turned to face the older man. They wordlessly stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Finally, Seymour lowered his head, skidding his gaze over the scattered bodies. A flicker of guilt crossed his fine features, but it was almost instantly gone, replaced by the customary mask of politeness.
"Leave this place for now," he addressed the former monk in a soft voice, "…unless you fancy joining them, of course…" Raising his eyes, he went on. "You probably realize… that it is my duty to send you?"
He noticed, with some sort of odd, vengeful satisfaction, that the other man tensed at his words. However, much to Seymour's frustration, Auron quickly snapped out of his unpleasant surprise. His tired face regained the usual, expressionless look, making it impossible to tell whether he was irritated, furious, uneasy, or moved in any other way. Seymour, despite himself, couldn't help but feel slightly awed with the guardian's unwavering self-confidence.
"I should've expected this," Auron finally said.
"It's in the air that surrounds you," Seymour nodded slowly. "The Guado are very sensitive to such things. I knew something was wrong the moment I laid my eyes on you." Absently brushing his chin with the slender fingers of his good hand, he tilted his head to the side in a somewhat childish manner and gave the older man a half-curious, half-worried look. "What keeps you here? Aren't you afraid of becoming a fiend?"
"That's none of your business."
I happen to be the high priest of Yevon, so undead people walking around are most definitely my business, Seymour wanted to say, but he bit down this cutting remark. Who do you think you are, anyway? he thought, offended. Considering Auron'sprevious rudeness, Seymour had expected such a gruff reply, but the guardian's terrible behavior still came to him as shocking. Regardless of his fame and reputation, Auron was supposed to show a maester at least some respect.
"Auron-sama, I merely asked you a question," he spoke softly, bowing his head. "I believe that there is no need for you to be angry with me. What have I done to deserve such an unfriendly treatment?" Months spent in Mika's company had taught Seymour how to appear perfectly polite on the outside, even if he was inwardly seething with rage. Speaking of now, the task of remaining calm was easy, because the brief anger had already passed, leaving him all the more curious about Auron's past.
"I made a promise to a friend… which I haven't fulfilled yet," the guardian scowled, betraying some signs of mental discomfort at last. "I won't leave until my work here is done."
-Won't leave until my work here is done?- Seymour clenched his teeth to stop himself from uttering a curse. Mika said a very similar thing… That bastard! Damn, why do some people insist on living, denying the undeniable? This world is filled with unnecessary death and suffering, anyway… nothing to cling to, really… And people are said to be happy in the Farplane, free of their sorrow, of all worries, of everything! So why don't just stick to the plan and go there after your life is over!?
"How long has it been?" he finally asked.
"Ten years," Auron shrugged. Even if he could hear the change in Seymour's voice, he simply ignored it. The maester's problems were none of his concern.
Ten YEARS.
Seymour had found himself staring at the man in something akin to shock. He shook his head a little, as if to clear his mind. What he had heard sounded simply unbelievable, and yet he was certain that the ex-monk wasn't lying. Then, suddenly, he realized what it all meant. And it was like a slap in the face.
Then Mika… for Yevon's sake… Mika's going to be able to stay alive for… for a decade? Maybe even longer? Possibly much longer?
He froze, hands involuntarily clenching into fists.
No. Fucking. Way.
And he knew that he definitely couldn't openly disobey the all-powerful Grand Maester - not with Kinoc being Mika's most supportive ally, anyway - and get away with it.
…What a nightmare.
Seymour was furious but, slowly, he composed himself. He certainly wasn't going to show Auron how he really felt. "I'm surprised to hear that," he spoke. "You must be a very strong-willed person, then, Auron-sama. And you said it was a promise? Did it possibly have anything to do with… Lord Braska's…?"
Big mistake. Auron stared at him coldly, as if daring him to finish his question. Seymour finally realized that he had gone a bit too far; prying into somebody's past just like that wasn't exactly the most tactful thing to do.
"I am very sorry," he said quickly. It was obvious that the former monk didn't want to continue with this conversation. For a man like Seymour, who tried hard to forget… certain… aspects of his past, this was perfectly understandable. He wasn't going to push this subject any further… even though, from the way Auron tensed at his earlier words, he was certain that the guardian was hiding something very important.
"I owe you my life," Seymour finally raised his head. "In return… I will spare yours. I will not send you."
He nearly expected the man to snarl in contempt, but Auron did nothing of this sort. "Fine. We are even, then."
Seymour watched him turn on his heel and walk away. Well, a bit of gratitude wouldn't hurt, you know? he spat bitterly in his thoughts, but kept the comment to himself.
Then he sighed heavily. So… it takes a remarkably strong-willed person not to become a fiend, but, after all, it is possible! Ten years, who would've thought… And, as far as I'm concerned, Mika is extremely strong-willed. He will be able to stand for so long, if not longer… Damn! I can't wait that long!
Arvel, who had previously stayed away out of respect for his master's privacy, had reached Seymour's side by now. And he mistook the angry growl for a clear sign of pain.
"Roushi-sama… please, don't do this…"
It was useless. Seymour pressed his lips into a thin line, proving that he could be extremely stubborn at times. "Hold it," he handed the man his elegant staff and began to take off his long, outer robe. He had to get rid of it, because the material was too heavy - if the ends got soaked with water, the damn thing would weigh him down, pulling him under the water.
The dried blood caused the fabric stick to the wound and Seymour was literally forced to tear it away. It turned out to be an awfully painful process - and physical suffering wasn't something the master was used to - but he tried to remain as calm and focused as possible, ignoring his servants protests. If I'm not concentrated enough, he reminded himself, I'll drown…
Arvel watched him in horror. "It's not necessary… Your Highness… I beg of you!"
…Oh, but it is, Seymour thought. Auron may be a strong man, capable of staying true to his human nature, but the Crusaders, in spite of their courage, were just ordinary people, much, much weaker. If I don't hurry, the beach will swarm with monsters in a few hours.
"Here, take it," he sighed, throwing his robe at the servant and reaching for the staff.
At least, he thought bitterly, the ocean is calm.
It wasn't entirely true, though. The ocean might have seemed calm on the surface, but its soul was troubled, affected by the many bodies that lay in the shallows. It was easy to tell… just from looking at the bloody froth that floated everywhere. Wincing at the sight and very much apprehensive about his task, Seymour stepped onto the water.
End of Chapter Four
Author's Notes: Stay tuned for Chapter Five! …In which we will have Seymour… dancing!? --massive sweatdrop-- …I'll better visit a psychiatrist. Soon.
Now, how about reviewing this chapter…? Be harsh! Criticize! Point out all of my mistakes! …It'll make you feel better, you know? :))