((AN: Hey! Sorry for the looong wait. I've been way busy with work an'
family stuff. Gomen! But I appreciate y'all waiting, and I hope you like
the new installment. Thanks for all the great encouragement, and special
thanks to my first fan, bleedformeee, and my co-writer, Isa-chan!
Oh, and I know in the manga Tohru gets exclusive use of the upstairs bathroom, but I changed that for the story. Bear with me! -))
CHAPTER 3
Yuki stretched, still half-asleep, and rolled over, throwing an arm over Kyou's side of the bed. Instinctively he knew the sun hadn't yet risen, and early morning was always a good time for snuggling. He made a little noise of disappointment when he noticed Kyou was missing, but he buried his face in the pillow anyway, contenting himself with inhaling Kyou's soap-spicy scent off the sheets –
His eyes snapped open like a window shade, and Yuki jerked upright, staring down at the bedclothes. Kyou? The sheets smelled like KYOU??
He scrambled back against the wall, hitting it with a dull thud, his chest tightening in a hot rush. Panic boiled through him, and he pushed the covers away from him as his eyes darted around the room. Oh, God... why did it smell like that? What was Kyou doing in his room?
His gaze bounced over the dimly-lit walls, then the floor, the pre-dawn light making everything gray and washed-out. Nothing was out of place. There wasn't any other sign that his cousin had been in his room besides his lingering scent. He looked back at the sheets, noting somewhere in the back of his mind that he was close to hyperventilating, and forcibly slowed his breathing.
"Calm down, idiot," he muttered to himself, feeling lightheaded. "Stop it. It was just a dream." Just a dream. Sure. It was completely plausible. This wasn't the first time he'd woken up thinking things were wrong, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Cautiously, he leaned forward and put his face to the mattress, drawing in a shallow breath.
Kyou's scent was still there. It tightened things low in Yuki's body, bringing a surge of nostalgia that rolled over him in a crushing wave. He fell limply onto the bed, trying to gather the sheets closer to himself, pressing the cloth to his face. He couldn't admit how much he missed his cousin's warm presence, the reassuring weight of another body next to him at night, because if he did he couldn't move on. But right now, he didn't want to move on. He wanted to remember. Stupid cat, he thought. Stupid...
He woke up a short time later, confused and headachey. He'd fallen back asleep and now his eyes burned, which meant he'd been crying again. Irritated, he rubbed at his face with his pajama sleeve, rolling off the bed and going to his door. This was getting out of hand. Just once he'd like to start the day without a headache. Four months of the same thing every morning was starting to wear on him.
He opened the door quietly and checked the hallway. Satisfied it was empty, he crept to the bathroom and shut himself in, turning on the smallest stream of water possible. The house was silent, and he didn't want anyone to know he was awake. He wet a washcloth and leaned over the sink, holding the cool cloth against his face, and tried to sort out the mess in his head.
So Kyou had been in his room. It was absurd, and completely suspicious, but he shouldn't have gotten all excited about it. There had to be a logical explanation. Most likely it was something silly, like Tohru asked him to get something for her.
In the middle of the night? his brain asked sarcastically. The bed didn't smell like that when you went to sleep.
Yuki sighed into the washcloth, pressing the coldness to his closed eyes. Fine. Maybe not that. But why then? What on earth would make Kyou come into Yuki's room while Yuki was asleep? To start a fight? They'd never fought in each other's rooms before – not enough space – but there was a first time for everything. They'd fought in every other room of the house; might as well fight in the bedroom. But if it had been to start something, why had Kyou left? Had Yuki beaten him without waking up? He'd been told he'd done that once before, but if he had, then why would Kyou try it again? And why bother getting that close to the bed without even waking Yuki up?
He made a face and wrung out the cloth, tossing it into the laundry basket. This wasn't going to make sense any time soon, and he couldn't ask Kyou about it. He wouldn't know how, and part of him didn't want to find out. Luckily, it was the first day of school break. He could go back to sleep for a while and try not to think about it. Maybe things would be clearer later in the morning.
He fit his hand in the groove of the shoji door and tugged. It slipped out of his grasp, slamming itself home with a startling bang, and he jumped.
Kyou stood on the other side of the doorway, his hand on the door, wearing nothing but the pair of white gi pants he normally wore for his workout. He looked surprised, but the second he saw it was Yuki, his eyes narrowed and his nose wrinkled as though he'd smelled something bad. "What the hell are you doing up so early?"
Yuki just stared. Confused thoughts tried to push their way past the dull pain in his head, too slow in coming. He knew he ought to say something rude back... but it was so hard to come up with something with Kyou standing half-naked right in front of him. The heat he'd felt back in his room rushed over him again, turning his cheeks bright pink. All of a sudden he had to get out of there, get away from Kyou before he did something stupid. His hand moved on its own, reaching toward Kyou's bare chest to shove his way past, but the taller boy thrust his arm across the doorway, blocking the opening. "Wait a sec."
Yuki glared at him through his bangs, trying to keep his head down. "Move, jerk."
"Shut up." Kyou shifted, peering at Yuki. "Your face is all red. Are you sick?"
"No. Get out of the way."
"Well, something's wrong if you're up right now."
"What do you care? You're pissing me off."
"Yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?" Kyou leaned in, grinning, and Yuki finally tilted his head back so he could see his cousin's eyes. Kyou's couple of inches usually didn't matter, but this close it required an effort.
"Just move your arm, ass, or I'll move it for you!"
"You?" Kyou scoffed. "Not likely. You hit like a girl."
Yuki's headache was getting worse, and he could feel his patience unraveling. He didn't want to fight, he just wanted to get back to his room before the curious cat got any more inquisitive. "I'm not in the mood for this. If you don't move by the count of three –"
"Yeah, you're reeeal scary right now. Your eyes're all red."
Damn it! This was taking too long! "ONE. TWO –"
Kyou sneered. "You weren't crying again, were you?"
Yuki stiffened, his eyes a shocked violet, his mouth hanging open. How did –
Last night. Of course.
Something flitted across Kyou's face, as if he was abruptly aware of what he'd said, but he glared at the smaller boy defiantly, daring Yuki to say something. Silence fell, oppressive, and the air in the bathroom grew heavy and awkward. The only sound was Yuki's breathing as he struggled to control himself. This was like one of his dreams, but he would not make a fool of himself by getting upset, not in front of Kyou. It was obvious now that Kyou had heard him last night, and had come into his room thinking the whole thing too good to miss. Fine entertainment, watching your cousin having nightmares so bad he cried. Kyou probably thought it was fucking hilarious.
Embarrassment and anger flushed Yuki's skin a deeper pink, and suddenly all he could think about was escape. He put his hand back out, shoving Kyou's arm out of the way and forcing himself into the hall. His cousin stumbled back, swearing, grabbing at Yuki's arm as the rat tried to leave.
"Damn it, Yuki, wait!" Yuki didn't turn around, and Kyou pulled on him, tightening his grip. "I didn't mean it like that –"
"Let. Me. Go."
"It wasn't what I –"
Yuki's fragile control snapped. He yanked his arm, knowing Kyou wouldn't be fooled by the same trick he used himself, and used the resistance to whip his leg around, slamming his cousin squarely on the side of the head. Yuki's arm sprang free, and Kyou fell backward, crashing into the wall.
Tohru's door flew open at the noise, spilling her into the hallway. Her hair was still in braids and her eyes were wide. She took a step forward as she pulled her robe shut, her face white. "Yuki-kun! Kyou-kun, what –"
Yuki ignored her and stood over Kyou, his hands clenched into fists, practically vibrating with pent-up emotion. "I cried over you," he said hoarsely, his voice a little too high, "because I thought I'd done something wrong. You can't even imagine what it felt like to tell you I didn't want to see you, but I had to do it. I didn't have other way to protect you. I let Akito scare me into leaving you, and I hated myself more than I thought was possible. I thought I was the worst person in the world for it. But you know what? I'm not the worst person in the world. You are."
"Yuki-kun, please, think about what you're saying!" Tohru came closer, reaching out toward him, but he scooted away from her, his breath coming too fast. She looked from him to Kyou, her forehead creased with worry, her fingers twisting each other. "Kyou-kun?"
Kyou pushed himself up, opening his mouth in protest. "You don't understand --!"
Nails dug into Yuki's palms, stinging, and his voice rose until he was almost shouting. "I understand perfectly! You made everything crystal clear! You said you loved me, but you don't even care what happens to me any more! I hate every day that I can't be with you, and you don't care! All you care about is showing that you're better than me, that you don't need me, that I'm in your way, and if I was dead then your whole life would just magically fall into place. If knowing you're better than me makes you happy, then this ought to make you damn ecstatic! I can't get over you, and you're months over me! Okay? Happy? Well, I've got two words for you --"
Movement came from his right and he spun around, but he was too slow. Tohru's arms closed around him, hugging him to her, and he gasped as colored smoke exploded through the hallway, obscuring his vision. His pajamas dropped off him as he shrank, becoming smaller, and he fell onto something soft. Hands that smelled like vanilla closed over him, and everything went dark.
Oh, and I know in the manga Tohru gets exclusive use of the upstairs bathroom, but I changed that for the story. Bear with me! -))
CHAPTER 3
Yuki stretched, still half-asleep, and rolled over, throwing an arm over Kyou's side of the bed. Instinctively he knew the sun hadn't yet risen, and early morning was always a good time for snuggling. He made a little noise of disappointment when he noticed Kyou was missing, but he buried his face in the pillow anyway, contenting himself with inhaling Kyou's soap-spicy scent off the sheets –
His eyes snapped open like a window shade, and Yuki jerked upright, staring down at the bedclothes. Kyou? The sheets smelled like KYOU??
He scrambled back against the wall, hitting it with a dull thud, his chest tightening in a hot rush. Panic boiled through him, and he pushed the covers away from him as his eyes darted around the room. Oh, God... why did it smell like that? What was Kyou doing in his room?
His gaze bounced over the dimly-lit walls, then the floor, the pre-dawn light making everything gray and washed-out. Nothing was out of place. There wasn't any other sign that his cousin had been in his room besides his lingering scent. He looked back at the sheets, noting somewhere in the back of his mind that he was close to hyperventilating, and forcibly slowed his breathing.
"Calm down, idiot," he muttered to himself, feeling lightheaded. "Stop it. It was just a dream." Just a dream. Sure. It was completely plausible. This wasn't the first time he'd woken up thinking things were wrong, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Cautiously, he leaned forward and put his face to the mattress, drawing in a shallow breath.
Kyou's scent was still there. It tightened things low in Yuki's body, bringing a surge of nostalgia that rolled over him in a crushing wave. He fell limply onto the bed, trying to gather the sheets closer to himself, pressing the cloth to his face. He couldn't admit how much he missed his cousin's warm presence, the reassuring weight of another body next to him at night, because if he did he couldn't move on. But right now, he didn't want to move on. He wanted to remember. Stupid cat, he thought. Stupid...
He woke up a short time later, confused and headachey. He'd fallen back asleep and now his eyes burned, which meant he'd been crying again. Irritated, he rubbed at his face with his pajama sleeve, rolling off the bed and going to his door. This was getting out of hand. Just once he'd like to start the day without a headache. Four months of the same thing every morning was starting to wear on him.
He opened the door quietly and checked the hallway. Satisfied it was empty, he crept to the bathroom and shut himself in, turning on the smallest stream of water possible. The house was silent, and he didn't want anyone to know he was awake. He wet a washcloth and leaned over the sink, holding the cool cloth against his face, and tried to sort out the mess in his head.
So Kyou had been in his room. It was absurd, and completely suspicious, but he shouldn't have gotten all excited about it. There had to be a logical explanation. Most likely it was something silly, like Tohru asked him to get something for her.
In the middle of the night? his brain asked sarcastically. The bed didn't smell like that when you went to sleep.
Yuki sighed into the washcloth, pressing the coldness to his closed eyes. Fine. Maybe not that. But why then? What on earth would make Kyou come into Yuki's room while Yuki was asleep? To start a fight? They'd never fought in each other's rooms before – not enough space – but there was a first time for everything. They'd fought in every other room of the house; might as well fight in the bedroom. But if it had been to start something, why had Kyou left? Had Yuki beaten him without waking up? He'd been told he'd done that once before, but if he had, then why would Kyou try it again? And why bother getting that close to the bed without even waking Yuki up?
He made a face and wrung out the cloth, tossing it into the laundry basket. This wasn't going to make sense any time soon, and he couldn't ask Kyou about it. He wouldn't know how, and part of him didn't want to find out. Luckily, it was the first day of school break. He could go back to sleep for a while and try not to think about it. Maybe things would be clearer later in the morning.
He fit his hand in the groove of the shoji door and tugged. It slipped out of his grasp, slamming itself home with a startling bang, and he jumped.
Kyou stood on the other side of the doorway, his hand on the door, wearing nothing but the pair of white gi pants he normally wore for his workout. He looked surprised, but the second he saw it was Yuki, his eyes narrowed and his nose wrinkled as though he'd smelled something bad. "What the hell are you doing up so early?"
Yuki just stared. Confused thoughts tried to push their way past the dull pain in his head, too slow in coming. He knew he ought to say something rude back... but it was so hard to come up with something with Kyou standing half-naked right in front of him. The heat he'd felt back in his room rushed over him again, turning his cheeks bright pink. All of a sudden he had to get out of there, get away from Kyou before he did something stupid. His hand moved on its own, reaching toward Kyou's bare chest to shove his way past, but the taller boy thrust his arm across the doorway, blocking the opening. "Wait a sec."
Yuki glared at him through his bangs, trying to keep his head down. "Move, jerk."
"Shut up." Kyou shifted, peering at Yuki. "Your face is all red. Are you sick?"
"No. Get out of the way."
"Well, something's wrong if you're up right now."
"What do you care? You're pissing me off."
"Yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?" Kyou leaned in, grinning, and Yuki finally tilted his head back so he could see his cousin's eyes. Kyou's couple of inches usually didn't matter, but this close it required an effort.
"Just move your arm, ass, or I'll move it for you!"
"You?" Kyou scoffed. "Not likely. You hit like a girl."
Yuki's headache was getting worse, and he could feel his patience unraveling. He didn't want to fight, he just wanted to get back to his room before the curious cat got any more inquisitive. "I'm not in the mood for this. If you don't move by the count of three –"
"Yeah, you're reeeal scary right now. Your eyes're all red."
Damn it! This was taking too long! "ONE. TWO –"
Kyou sneered. "You weren't crying again, were you?"
Yuki stiffened, his eyes a shocked violet, his mouth hanging open. How did –
Last night. Of course.
Something flitted across Kyou's face, as if he was abruptly aware of what he'd said, but he glared at the smaller boy defiantly, daring Yuki to say something. Silence fell, oppressive, and the air in the bathroom grew heavy and awkward. The only sound was Yuki's breathing as he struggled to control himself. This was like one of his dreams, but he would not make a fool of himself by getting upset, not in front of Kyou. It was obvious now that Kyou had heard him last night, and had come into his room thinking the whole thing too good to miss. Fine entertainment, watching your cousin having nightmares so bad he cried. Kyou probably thought it was fucking hilarious.
Embarrassment and anger flushed Yuki's skin a deeper pink, and suddenly all he could think about was escape. He put his hand back out, shoving Kyou's arm out of the way and forcing himself into the hall. His cousin stumbled back, swearing, grabbing at Yuki's arm as the rat tried to leave.
"Damn it, Yuki, wait!" Yuki didn't turn around, and Kyou pulled on him, tightening his grip. "I didn't mean it like that –"
"Let. Me. Go."
"It wasn't what I –"
Yuki's fragile control snapped. He yanked his arm, knowing Kyou wouldn't be fooled by the same trick he used himself, and used the resistance to whip his leg around, slamming his cousin squarely on the side of the head. Yuki's arm sprang free, and Kyou fell backward, crashing into the wall.
Tohru's door flew open at the noise, spilling her into the hallway. Her hair was still in braids and her eyes were wide. She took a step forward as she pulled her robe shut, her face white. "Yuki-kun! Kyou-kun, what –"
Yuki ignored her and stood over Kyou, his hands clenched into fists, practically vibrating with pent-up emotion. "I cried over you," he said hoarsely, his voice a little too high, "because I thought I'd done something wrong. You can't even imagine what it felt like to tell you I didn't want to see you, but I had to do it. I didn't have other way to protect you. I let Akito scare me into leaving you, and I hated myself more than I thought was possible. I thought I was the worst person in the world for it. But you know what? I'm not the worst person in the world. You are."
"Yuki-kun, please, think about what you're saying!" Tohru came closer, reaching out toward him, but he scooted away from her, his breath coming too fast. She looked from him to Kyou, her forehead creased with worry, her fingers twisting each other. "Kyou-kun?"
Kyou pushed himself up, opening his mouth in protest. "You don't understand --!"
Nails dug into Yuki's palms, stinging, and his voice rose until he was almost shouting. "I understand perfectly! You made everything crystal clear! You said you loved me, but you don't even care what happens to me any more! I hate every day that I can't be with you, and you don't care! All you care about is showing that you're better than me, that you don't need me, that I'm in your way, and if I was dead then your whole life would just magically fall into place. If knowing you're better than me makes you happy, then this ought to make you damn ecstatic! I can't get over you, and you're months over me! Okay? Happy? Well, I've got two words for you --"
Movement came from his right and he spun around, but he was too slow. Tohru's arms closed around him, hugging him to her, and he gasped as colored smoke exploded through the hallway, obscuring his vision. His pajamas dropped off him as he shrank, becoming smaller, and he fell onto something soft. Hands that smelled like vanilla closed over him, and everything went dark.