It's takes me ages to update this one simply because I don't like very
much. Character abuse has never really been my thing, but here it goes
again. Sorry for any spelling mistakes or overwhelming crapness. My other
two fics are much better!
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*********** Gojyo's leaning over me, his crimson hair is falling into my face and his lips brush gently over mine. He's removing my clothes so carefully and lightly that I hardly notice. I've pulled off his shirt and he's smiling at me and running his fingers over the disfiguring scar Chin Isou made so long ago. I flinch and he puts a single finger to my lips. "Don't be afraid, I like it. It's beautiful."
He waits for me to relax and I do so very slowly. He continues to run his hands down and I release a breath I don't even realise I've been holding. He always knows exactly which spots to go for that drive me wild. His inquisitive fingers are snaking up my thigh and I gasp as his rough tongue drags itself down my chest. "What about Goku and Sanzo?" I whisper urgently, knowing that they probably aren't far away. Gojyo lifts an eyebrow and smiles before dragging his tongue down. "I can stop." He says softly, letting shimmering strands of flaming hair caress me. I can already feel myself moan and arch towards him. Of course, I don't want him to stop but that's the whole point of why he's pausing. He always likes me to beg him, likes to hold me at my most vulnerable. "No." I whisper, pleading for urgency, the need to be satisfied overtaking my worry about our travelling companions. He gives me a heart-warming smile and moves his tongue to where I so desperately want - no, need - it and I arch even more giving the gasps I know he loves to hear.
I feel his fingers gently sliding upwards, requesting entrance and I relax and let them in. The feeling is wonderful and I wonder how he can be so gentle doing this and yet so fierce in his fighting. I lose myself in daydreams and languid pleasure until Gojyo gently sliding into me brings me out of it. I give a quiet whimper but then move slowly with him, marvelling at the changing sensation from pain to pleasure.
We start to move faster, both making the kind of noises I haven't heard for so long. I'm in raptures and I run my hands down his face and body, trying to pull him closer than he already is. He captures one of my fingers between his lips and bites down gently and I give a shuddering sigh. "Your hands are beautiful." He whispers.
Kanan always said my hands were beautiful. I miss her so much. Gojyo understands this and helped me come out of my guilt in his own way, letting me follow him and come to him when I was ready. Our lovemaking always reminds me of hers and mine so long ago; always so loving and sweet and yet with that subtle hint of passion. I'm now looking into his ruby-coloured eyes, seeking the loving gaze before I reach my point.
Instead, I only meet fear and anguish. He looks so hurt and angry, his red eyes almost aflame. We've broken apart now and he's flung me away. I'm falling now, broken and bleeding. I can see Kanan stood by him and I'm reaching for her, desperately trying to reach her crying out for her to help me. She is crying and my heart breaks in two. I call to her again but she turns away from me. Gojyo looks at me once, a desperate look of betrayal then turns away too, walking away from me and holding a knife in his hand. Now I'm falling at speed and it's raining all around me, but it's the colour of blood and I feel pain .. such intense pain ..********
Hakkai jerked awake with cry of anguish, followed by another of shocked as pain lanced through his stomach. He wrapped an arm around his abdomen and was shocked when his arm met a thick layer of white bandage. His scar was throbbing painfully in time with his heartbeat. He clung to the bed he was lying on and tried to catch his breath back and dismiss the rising nausea. He felt disorientated by the darkness of the room, not remembering how he got there.
"Hakkai?" came a familiar voice cutting through his rapidly rising panic.
"Sanzo?" he answered, choking back the bile that was bubbling up in his throat. He was trying to disguise the fear in his voice as he saw that his clothes were covered in dried blood. "Where are you?" he asked shakily, staring around him.
"In the corner. The stupid, stupid, fucking idiots have chained me to the wall." His voice sounded more than irritated.
"Where's Goku and Gojyo?" he asked, blindly trying to see around the dark room.
"Goku's out with a strong sleeping draught they forced down his throat. There's a lamp by the bed, I think. My lighter's in my back pocket; get some light in this damn hellhole."
Hakkai reached out blindly, and ignoring the throbbing of his wound. He didn't know what else to do other than to obey Sanzo, remembering nothing of how he got here or why he was wounded, his memory throwing up no enlighteners. He felt tentatively around him until he grasped what felt like a table leg. He felt upwards until he grasped a glass bulb with curved metal brackets holding it in place, which must be the lamp.
"You have to keep talking, Sanzo, I can't see you." He said softly. "What about Gojyo? Why are we here? What happened to us?"
"You don't remember?" asked Sanzo, and then at Hakkai's silence continued, his eyes searching the darkness for Hakkai. "I have no idea, actually. The kappa came in, shouting for help, with you in his arms and bleeding all over the place. Then all these fucking people turned up baying for blood." He paused as Hakkai reached him and blindly fumbled in his back pocket finally grasping the lighter and pulling it out.
"I don't remember anything . only despair like I've never felt before." Hakkai murmured, lighting the lighter and holding it close to the lamp to see how it worked. He expertly removed the glass bulb with one hand and lit the wick as carefully as he could and put the lighter down. He then put the lamp back together with the same care and looked around in the gathering light.
Sanzo was indeed in the corner, in place by a length of chain that bound his gloved wrists together. The chains had then been hooked to the wall keeping his arms high in the air and his feet barely touching the ground so he could only swing a little and gain no leverage. He wasn't injured at least, although his robes were piled up on the floor near the bed, which would have displeased him even more than a beating.
"They were after Gojyo." Said Sanzo matter-of-factly. "Gods know why. They kept ranting on about him being taboo." He gave a short barking laugh. "They think he's corrupted me and forced himself on you and is out the destroy them or something stupid like that."
Hakkai was stunned and put the lamp down with trembling hands for fear of dropping it. He had no reply for Sanzo's revelation. The town had seemed quite normal and their reaction to Gojyo had been a few stares but most of the stares seemed to encompass the strange party as a whole. True in some of these extremely superstitious backwater towns, Gojyo did warrant attention, but Hakkai hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary this time. There certainly hadn't seemed any brewing mobs. The fact that they knew about his and Gojyo's tentative secret relationship was more shocking. Both of them had gone out of their way to try keep it secret.
"How? . What? . Where is he? How did they do this?" he asked in a burble, coming over to release Sanzo, trying to work out just how they had got him up there.
"Short answer . I don't know." Sanzo said, gritting his teeth as Hakkai grabbed him around the waist. The brunette winced in pain himself at the strain on his wound but managed to lift Sanzo gently into the air, letting him unhook his restrained wrists. Hakkai let him down then swiftly unwrapped the thick chains, flinging them aside and doing a quick check for breaks. Sanzo rubbed at the bruises around his gloves, trying to get feeling back into his numbed hands.
"Where's Goku?" Hakkai asked, running a hand across his stomach gingerly testing the wound for any reopening.
"In the other corner. They force-fed him a draught, the bakasaru couldn't fight it; he'll be asleep for hours." Sanzo said calmly. He looked at Hakkai out of the corner of his eye; the man was shaking as he bent down to Goku who was balled up, making the customary rumbling snores of a heavy sleeper. "I heard them talking about it. They fed you something too, they put it in the wine you had at dinner."
Hakkai stared at him, forcing his foggy mind to remember. He had drunk several glasses of the wine and then felt a little queasy towards the end of the meal, blaming the bumpy journey and lack of sleep. He had left the table and gone back to their room intending to take a nap and recover before the others finished. He had started tidying their room up and getting ready to lie down. The next thing he knew he was on his knees in the gardens in the pouring rain clutching at his hair and his chest. Hakkai's thoughts flooded back to him.
******** Oh god. I thought I had nothing with Kanan. That I didn't love her truly. I betrayed her precious memory. My memory of her in times when I was truly happy. Oh god. I wanted to kill myself. I had the knife from the pack and used it on myself. I never thought of Gojyo at all, but he came and found me and tried to help me. I tried to shut my own lover out, the very lover I took to comfort him as much as me. I tried to destroy my memories of everything. It overwhelmed me and yet he found me. I'm falling away from everything again and this time is by my own doing. She died. He's died. Why do I kill everything? I can't breathe.I can't breathe.******
A slap hit him across the cheek and brought him hurtling back to reality. He was on his knees staring at his hands, which he could have sworn had been swathed in blood a second ago.
"For fucks sake Hakkai get some control, stop acting like a fucking psychopath!" came the angry hiss.
Hakkai blinked up at Sanzo, his glassy eyes regaining focus.
"I'm sorry." He said softly. "Where is Gojyo?"
"I don't know. They dragged him away shouting." Sanzo didn't want to say that Gojyo had gone quiet remarkably quickly.
"Can we get out?" asked Hakkai, reaching down and gathering Goku into his arms. The boy gave a light snore and adjusted easily to the new position. Sanzo got down on his knees and reached under the bed to reclaim his gun and sutra.
". They thought they could hide them. Bloody fools."
He then reached over and pulled his robes back on, carefully tying the sash and righting himself; feeling a lot more comfortable now. This was who he was and there was no way he was leaving this place without his property. He slung the sutra across his shoulders and calmly reloaded his gun relishing the clicking noise as each bullet entered the chamber. He then spun around and aimed it at the lock on the door and fired three times in quick succession. The door handle sagged on its hinges and Sanzo turned back to Hakkai who was staring blankly at him, for once at a loss of what to do.
"Now we can. Let's get out of here."
A/N: yet another chapter. Once again apologies. I'd love reviews though, for my other fics if you have any time on your hands. If anyone has writers block though, listen to music from DNAngel, inspires you like you wouldn't believe.
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*********** Gojyo's leaning over me, his crimson hair is falling into my face and his lips brush gently over mine. He's removing my clothes so carefully and lightly that I hardly notice. I've pulled off his shirt and he's smiling at me and running his fingers over the disfiguring scar Chin Isou made so long ago. I flinch and he puts a single finger to my lips. "Don't be afraid, I like it. It's beautiful."
He waits for me to relax and I do so very slowly. He continues to run his hands down and I release a breath I don't even realise I've been holding. He always knows exactly which spots to go for that drive me wild. His inquisitive fingers are snaking up my thigh and I gasp as his rough tongue drags itself down my chest. "What about Goku and Sanzo?" I whisper urgently, knowing that they probably aren't far away. Gojyo lifts an eyebrow and smiles before dragging his tongue down. "I can stop." He says softly, letting shimmering strands of flaming hair caress me. I can already feel myself moan and arch towards him. Of course, I don't want him to stop but that's the whole point of why he's pausing. He always likes me to beg him, likes to hold me at my most vulnerable. "No." I whisper, pleading for urgency, the need to be satisfied overtaking my worry about our travelling companions. He gives me a heart-warming smile and moves his tongue to where I so desperately want - no, need - it and I arch even more giving the gasps I know he loves to hear.
I feel his fingers gently sliding upwards, requesting entrance and I relax and let them in. The feeling is wonderful and I wonder how he can be so gentle doing this and yet so fierce in his fighting. I lose myself in daydreams and languid pleasure until Gojyo gently sliding into me brings me out of it. I give a quiet whimper but then move slowly with him, marvelling at the changing sensation from pain to pleasure.
We start to move faster, both making the kind of noises I haven't heard for so long. I'm in raptures and I run my hands down his face and body, trying to pull him closer than he already is. He captures one of my fingers between his lips and bites down gently and I give a shuddering sigh. "Your hands are beautiful." He whispers.
Kanan always said my hands were beautiful. I miss her so much. Gojyo understands this and helped me come out of my guilt in his own way, letting me follow him and come to him when I was ready. Our lovemaking always reminds me of hers and mine so long ago; always so loving and sweet and yet with that subtle hint of passion. I'm now looking into his ruby-coloured eyes, seeking the loving gaze before I reach my point.
Instead, I only meet fear and anguish. He looks so hurt and angry, his red eyes almost aflame. We've broken apart now and he's flung me away. I'm falling now, broken and bleeding. I can see Kanan stood by him and I'm reaching for her, desperately trying to reach her crying out for her to help me. She is crying and my heart breaks in two. I call to her again but she turns away from me. Gojyo looks at me once, a desperate look of betrayal then turns away too, walking away from me and holding a knife in his hand. Now I'm falling at speed and it's raining all around me, but it's the colour of blood and I feel pain .. such intense pain ..********
Hakkai jerked awake with cry of anguish, followed by another of shocked as pain lanced through his stomach. He wrapped an arm around his abdomen and was shocked when his arm met a thick layer of white bandage. His scar was throbbing painfully in time with his heartbeat. He clung to the bed he was lying on and tried to catch his breath back and dismiss the rising nausea. He felt disorientated by the darkness of the room, not remembering how he got there.
"Hakkai?" came a familiar voice cutting through his rapidly rising panic.
"Sanzo?" he answered, choking back the bile that was bubbling up in his throat. He was trying to disguise the fear in his voice as he saw that his clothes were covered in dried blood. "Where are you?" he asked shakily, staring around him.
"In the corner. The stupid, stupid, fucking idiots have chained me to the wall." His voice sounded more than irritated.
"Where's Goku and Gojyo?" he asked, blindly trying to see around the dark room.
"Goku's out with a strong sleeping draught they forced down his throat. There's a lamp by the bed, I think. My lighter's in my back pocket; get some light in this damn hellhole."
Hakkai reached out blindly, and ignoring the throbbing of his wound. He didn't know what else to do other than to obey Sanzo, remembering nothing of how he got here or why he was wounded, his memory throwing up no enlighteners. He felt tentatively around him until he grasped what felt like a table leg. He felt upwards until he grasped a glass bulb with curved metal brackets holding it in place, which must be the lamp.
"You have to keep talking, Sanzo, I can't see you." He said softly. "What about Gojyo? Why are we here? What happened to us?"
"You don't remember?" asked Sanzo, and then at Hakkai's silence continued, his eyes searching the darkness for Hakkai. "I have no idea, actually. The kappa came in, shouting for help, with you in his arms and bleeding all over the place. Then all these fucking people turned up baying for blood." He paused as Hakkai reached him and blindly fumbled in his back pocket finally grasping the lighter and pulling it out.
"I don't remember anything . only despair like I've never felt before." Hakkai murmured, lighting the lighter and holding it close to the lamp to see how it worked. He expertly removed the glass bulb with one hand and lit the wick as carefully as he could and put the lighter down. He then put the lamp back together with the same care and looked around in the gathering light.
Sanzo was indeed in the corner, in place by a length of chain that bound his gloved wrists together. The chains had then been hooked to the wall keeping his arms high in the air and his feet barely touching the ground so he could only swing a little and gain no leverage. He wasn't injured at least, although his robes were piled up on the floor near the bed, which would have displeased him even more than a beating.
"They were after Gojyo." Said Sanzo matter-of-factly. "Gods know why. They kept ranting on about him being taboo." He gave a short barking laugh. "They think he's corrupted me and forced himself on you and is out the destroy them or something stupid like that."
Hakkai was stunned and put the lamp down with trembling hands for fear of dropping it. He had no reply for Sanzo's revelation. The town had seemed quite normal and their reaction to Gojyo had been a few stares but most of the stares seemed to encompass the strange party as a whole. True in some of these extremely superstitious backwater towns, Gojyo did warrant attention, but Hakkai hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary this time. There certainly hadn't seemed any brewing mobs. The fact that they knew about his and Gojyo's tentative secret relationship was more shocking. Both of them had gone out of their way to try keep it secret.
"How? . What? . Where is he? How did they do this?" he asked in a burble, coming over to release Sanzo, trying to work out just how they had got him up there.
"Short answer . I don't know." Sanzo said, gritting his teeth as Hakkai grabbed him around the waist. The brunette winced in pain himself at the strain on his wound but managed to lift Sanzo gently into the air, letting him unhook his restrained wrists. Hakkai let him down then swiftly unwrapped the thick chains, flinging them aside and doing a quick check for breaks. Sanzo rubbed at the bruises around his gloves, trying to get feeling back into his numbed hands.
"Where's Goku?" Hakkai asked, running a hand across his stomach gingerly testing the wound for any reopening.
"In the other corner. They force-fed him a draught, the bakasaru couldn't fight it; he'll be asleep for hours." Sanzo said calmly. He looked at Hakkai out of the corner of his eye; the man was shaking as he bent down to Goku who was balled up, making the customary rumbling snores of a heavy sleeper. "I heard them talking about it. They fed you something too, they put it in the wine you had at dinner."
Hakkai stared at him, forcing his foggy mind to remember. He had drunk several glasses of the wine and then felt a little queasy towards the end of the meal, blaming the bumpy journey and lack of sleep. He had left the table and gone back to their room intending to take a nap and recover before the others finished. He had started tidying their room up and getting ready to lie down. The next thing he knew he was on his knees in the gardens in the pouring rain clutching at his hair and his chest. Hakkai's thoughts flooded back to him.
******** Oh god. I thought I had nothing with Kanan. That I didn't love her truly. I betrayed her precious memory. My memory of her in times when I was truly happy. Oh god. I wanted to kill myself. I had the knife from the pack and used it on myself. I never thought of Gojyo at all, but he came and found me and tried to help me. I tried to shut my own lover out, the very lover I took to comfort him as much as me. I tried to destroy my memories of everything. It overwhelmed me and yet he found me. I'm falling away from everything again and this time is by my own doing. She died. He's died. Why do I kill everything? I can't breathe.I can't breathe.******
A slap hit him across the cheek and brought him hurtling back to reality. He was on his knees staring at his hands, which he could have sworn had been swathed in blood a second ago.
"For fucks sake Hakkai get some control, stop acting like a fucking psychopath!" came the angry hiss.
Hakkai blinked up at Sanzo, his glassy eyes regaining focus.
"I'm sorry." He said softly. "Where is Gojyo?"
"I don't know. They dragged him away shouting." Sanzo didn't want to say that Gojyo had gone quiet remarkably quickly.
"Can we get out?" asked Hakkai, reaching down and gathering Goku into his arms. The boy gave a light snore and adjusted easily to the new position. Sanzo got down on his knees and reached under the bed to reclaim his gun and sutra.
". They thought they could hide them. Bloody fools."
He then reached over and pulled his robes back on, carefully tying the sash and righting himself; feeling a lot more comfortable now. This was who he was and there was no way he was leaving this place without his property. He slung the sutra across his shoulders and calmly reloaded his gun relishing the clicking noise as each bullet entered the chamber. He then spun around and aimed it at the lock on the door and fired three times in quick succession. The door handle sagged on its hinges and Sanzo turned back to Hakkai who was staring blankly at him, for once at a loss of what to do.
"Now we can. Let's get out of here."
A/N: yet another chapter. Once again apologies. I'd love reviews though, for my other fics if you have any time on your hands. If anyone has writers block though, listen to music from DNAngel, inspires you like you wouldn't believe.