Disclaimer: oh give me a break… see previous chapters.
A/N: Two things you need to know about this story…
1.) In this story elves are generally in some control of their dreams.
2.) While I hold to the idea that Elves can see dream-images or shadows of other elves/people on the Olórë Mallë (Path of Dreams), for purposes of this story they normally don't, and perhaps never do, actually meet others in their dreams. But something is going to happen in this story which is not normal.
Names/Pronunciations and any Translation will come at the end of each chapter. ( ) signals a footnote.
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Chapter 6.) Back to Reality
***
"And night by night, down into solitude
The heavy earth falls far from every star."
- Rainer Maria Rilke
***
Recap: Oloriel and Elladan have each just discovered that the other one is real. After another 'nightmare' episode, Oloriel has asked Elladan to give her some privacy. She is walking lone in the dreamscape… or is she?
~~~
Oloriel had been walking along the beach for several minutes. She finally turned back, but could not see any sign of the elf that haunted her dreams. Her mind had been churning relentlessly. What do you do when an elf… a handsome elf… a handsome elf who is of nobble lineage… drops into your dreams? 'I cannot even begin to unravel this puzzle.' She shook her head sadly.
She felt so self-conscious, so insecure… 'What am I supposed to do with him?' she wondered, 'And why did it have to be him?'
She had met Elladan once. It had been when she was still rather young; just a few days after her father had departed for the Undying Lands….
She had been trying to put a good face on everything, but one afternoon she collapsed in on herself. She had to get away. She wandered into the woods beyond the city and found a dear old tree with welcoming branches. She climbed up into it and found her favorite nook to sit in, between the bough and large trunk of the tree. She sat down, resting her head against the smooth bark of the tree, with her legs dangling over one side of the branch, and allowed her tears to begin flowing. She missed her father terribly. And she would not see him again for hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years.
When she climbed up into the tree she had been so caught up in her grief that she did not notice the presence already in it. She still had not noticed, as she sat there weeping, until a dark-haired male elf, looking to be near her age, jumped down from above onto the branch where she was sitting. Her head flew up and then quickly she covered her tear-stained face with her hands. For several moments neither one spoke or moved.
Finally, the young elf crept slowly toward her along the branch. He sat down next to her and again allowed silence to reign. She had been holding in her tears behind her hands all this while, but she couldn't control them forever. They began to flow once more, and she could not keep her shoulders from shaking slightly as she wept.
Gently, the strange elf placed his arm around her shoulder and drew her to him. For some inexplicable reason she did not pull away; she just wept on his shoulder. They sat like this for some time. Slowly her tears began to abate; as they did the elf slowly released her. Eventually she regained control and, wiping her eyes of the last remaining moister, turned to him and said, "I am sorry. You must think me rather silly – weeping like a child."
Elladan (for that is who it was, if you haven't guessed by now) flashed her an odd grin, "Oh no, I'm all for crying – makes your hair grow."(1)
Young Oloriel was caught off guard by this remark and could not help smiling at the odd notion. Elladan's grin widened in return.
Before anything more could be said they were interrupted by Karnélas, Oloriel's older brother.
"There you are Oloriel, I thought I'd find you here. And who is with you?" He peered up into the branches, "Ah, good afternoon my young lord Elladan."
It was that one comment that snapped Oloriel out of her improved mood. "Elladan!" she cried out, bewildered. 'Why, he is the grandson of the Lady of Light; he is heir to the holder of Vilya(2); he is…' she could think on it no further, in a flurry of skirts she leapt out of the tree and ran off before either one could stop her.
Ever after that Oloriel would make herself scarce whenever the sons of Elrond would visit their grandmother in the Golden Wood. She felt ashamed and embarrassed… not only because she had cried in front of (and on) a stranger, but because that stranger was so far above her in station. She could not imagine what he must think of her…
Oloriel shook herself back to reality. She had, yet again, cried helplessly on the shoulder of Lord Elladan. Her only hope was that Elladan would not remember her; it had after all been over a millennium since the other incident. 'But still, I can never face him again… not now.' she thought. And yet, where was she to go? "The Valar take him, he is in my mind!" she yelled, lifting her hands up in exasperation.
She suddenly froze. She thought that she had heard something away to her right in the trees. She stared into their murky depths for several minutes, but could find nothing, until…
Her brows knitted slightly in consternation. She slowly turned and began again to walk down the beach.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Elladan would certainly not force his presence on any lady, but neither did he feel comfortable with leaving her alone – not after what had just happened. 'After all, she may need my help again.' he thought. This is how he rationalized sneaking into the forest and trailing her along the beach after she had slipped away into the darkness.
He kept just close enough to see the outline of her form, but could not see much detail. He would have liked to get closer, but his honor would not allow it. Keeping close enough to watch over her was one thing; getting closer just so he could to examine her features was an entirely different proposition.
As he watched her slowly advancing form his mind began to wander back to their other encounters. He did remember the young she-elf from all those years ago, and knew that this dream-maiden was the same one.
After she had run off those many years ago he had learned of her plight from Karnélas. He had been even more certain that he had done the right thing in trying to comfort her when he learned why she was crying. It had been only a few years after his mother had passed into the West, and he could identify with what the girl was feeling. He determined that he would try to cheer her up. However, he did not see her again while he was visiting his grandmother. And ever after, whenever he came to the Golden Wood, nothing could be found of her. He had never asked his grandmother or Oloriel's brother about her whereabouts because he didn't feel very comfortable explaining his reason. How could he tell them that he wanted to find a girl who he'd never talked to so that he could try to ease her of a burden that he felt so keenly himself? That would be letting his guard down. After several centuries he had finally given up the search.
Elladan sighed, 'After all these years I have finally found her… but of all the ways to become re-acquainted!' He found the whole situation to be slightly absurd.
Just has he was thinking this is attention was grabbed by Oloriel, face upturned to the stars declaring loudly, "The Valar take him, he is in my mind!" He was stunned at first, but then her words, mixed with his musings, struck him in such a way that he could not help letting out a small chuckle.
He froze his movement and held in his breath. Oloriel's body had stiffened. She turned slowly and began to scan the woods. She looked pointedly in his direction, and he thought that he had been discovered, but when she turned and resumed her stroll down the beach he allowed himself to slowly release the breath he had been holding.
'Smooth, Elladan, very smooth.'
*~*~*~*~*~*
Oloriel was irritated that Elladan had broken his word and not respected her wishes. She was not a naïve elf – she knew when she was being watched. She let out another exasperated sigh. What was she to do with him? For several moments she contemplated taking up nocturnal habits… 'Perhaps if I sleep all morning, practice with Kallindo in the afternoon, and stay up all night I can avoid him'… but she soon gave up the idea. People would start to wonder, and more importantly, Lady Galadriel would come to know, why she did as she did. Above all, Oloriel did not want Galadriel to know. She felt that the Lady would see something inappropriate in the whole affair.
A sudden wave of deep indignation welled up in her. Why him; why now; why did he not leave her alone? If she had had some privacy she would have taken the opportunity to indulge in a blood-curdling scream. Or perhaps she would have picked up her skirts and made a mad dash across the sand, running until she could hardly draw in breath. But instead she continued to walk placidly along, weighed down by the eyes of the hidden elf. She began to feel even more self-conscious. This only stoked the anger in her.
'What right has he to follow me? He has no right at all. All I asked for was some privacy – is this too much to ask? I think not. What does he mean by it?'
In a huff she ungracefully sat back down on the sand. 'It is no use trying to get away I suppose.' She tried to ignore his elusive presence, and turned again to her thoughts and worries.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Elladan was determined to be more careful in his surveillance. Although he had justified his actions in his own mind, he did not relish the prospect of having to explain himself to the maiden.
The maiden. What was he to do about her? Although he had never truly admitted it to his brother, he had been in danger of becoming overly 'intrigued' with the maiden. Therefore, his brother's warning to him had shown both great perception and great wisdom, and Elladan had been determined to follow it – he would not to swoon over 'green-eyes'.
But now everything was confused. Apparently she was real. His reason rebelled against this idea but could not with surety reject it. He tried to convince himself that it was all some mistake – a trick played on him by his own mind – but it wasn't working. There she was, walking along the beach, seeming just as real as anything he had ever experienced and claiming the name of someone he knew existed.
He watched her closely as she continued at her slow pace. She moved gracefully, even though hampered by yards of soaking cloth. Her hair was half-dried by now and was waving around her waist. Despite her soggy condition she still held and aura about her. The dream-stars seemed to direct their light at her and for her, enveloping her in a soft glow. In all her wetness she was still enchanting. He sighed softly.
'The question is,' he asked himself, 'does the fact that she is real change anything?'
As he pondered this question, he saw her flop down onto the sand in a huff. His eyebrows raised, 'So much for graceful.' The corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly in a suppressed smile. But he soon brought himself back to the issue at hand.
Here was a maiden who he had never really known, who resided in another realm, who might well be attached, and who appeared to want nothing to do with him. Swooning was still very much out of the question.
'And yet, she may still need my help.' Perhaps she was in trouble. She certainly appeared to be suffering. 'But what can I do?' He clenched and unclenched his fist tensely. He had no idea.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She had been gazing at the stars for several minutes. Her mind was still reeling, and her skin was still crawling with the felt presence of the unseen elf. She pushed him out of her mind. 'I shall just ignore him,' she resolved.
She turned her face back up to the stars. They were much larger and brighter than normal stars and they seemed to flicker and pulse, covering the inky sky in a dazzling veil of light. She smiled up at them. She was puzzled by it all. 'I thought dreams were here to help our minds find peace and rest.' She mused sarcastically. She let out yet another sigh – they were coming quite naturally to her now – she flopped back on the sand and let her thoughts slip out into words, "How can something so beautiful be so confusing?"
She quickly sat back up; her hand flew to her mouth. She had not meant to say that out loud. She wondered if the elf had been listening.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Elladan had been sitting silently leaning against a tree, watching the she-elf. He could not help it. He tried to think on other things, to gaze at other things, but his mind and eyes kept wandering back to her. She was now lying down on the sand.
He still did not know what to do with her. 'What if this keeps going? Will I always have to watch out for her? How long can I keep up a silent guard?' His fingers nervously played with the edge of his tunic. 'How can someone so beautiful be so confusing?'
He was extremely startled when he heard her echo his thoughts almost exactly. "How can something so beautiful be so confusing?"
He saw her sit back up quickly, her hand flying to her mouth, and suddenly he knew… he knew that she knew he was watching her. He groaned inwardly.
He made a quick decision. If he couldn't make out this mystery on his own then he would just have to enlist her help. He slowly stepped out of the forest.
"How long have you known?" he asked.
She was still facing away from him so Elladan did not see her as she rolled her eyes. "I had always imagined that Elrond's heir would have more skill than a dwarf when it came to stalking innocent maidens. Oh wait – I forget myself…I suppose that the stalking of innocent maidens would not have been deemed an appropriate past-time for a prince." She slowly turned around to face him, meeting him eye to eye. "Do you blame this bad habit on corrupting influences or on your own stupidity?"
Elladan tried not to cringe. "I deserved that, didn't I?" he asked a little sheepishly.
"Need you ask?"
"Perhaps not, but – "
"But you have no inclination to bend your will to the demands of honor? I suppose that would be rather bothersome for royalty such as you. To be forced to keep your word… how terribly inconvenient."
"I think that is a little unfair." Elladan knew that he was not fully blameless, but he did not feel that he had done anything truly wrong either. "I do not believe that I have broken with the principles of honor. You asked me to give you as much privacy as possible. I do not fully understand what it is you just suffered, but after such an experience I could not in good conscious just let you wander off. I intended to watch over you, nothing more."
"Watch so closely that you could eavesdrop?" she arched an eyebrow at him, "You were very close just now – I could feel you. Why, you were practically breathing down my neck! You could have at least stated your intentions instead of creeping around in the darkness like some fell creature."
Elladan tried not to become aggravated, "A lapse of judgement on my part, lady. It will not happen again."
"What will not happen again – your lapses in judgement? From what I have seen of you I highly doubt that."
Oloriel was shocked at how forward she was being, but she couldn't seem to help it. It all just came spilling out of her. She had let her walls down with this elf when she thought that he was an illusion, now she had to use all her power to push him back out and build the walls right back up.
Elladan was getting frustrated. He thought that he had explained himself as well as he could. The notion of asking forgiveness and rolling with the punch did not occur to him as he became more wrapped up in his own cause. Here was yet another elf, who didn't seem to want to know him, who made quick judgements about him, and didn't want to hear what he had to say.
He stiffened visibly and curtly replied to Oloriel, "Since the lady obviously finds my company to be so distasteful I will not subject her to it any longer. You shall have your privacy; I would not dare to intrude upon it in the slightest."
With that he bowed slightly and turned to march off into the forest, hoping to find a place of rest where he could lay down his throbbing head. Who knew dreams could be so wearying?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Oloriel experienced a sinking feeling as she watched him leave. Despite her current anger he had never truly been anything but kind to her. And she knew that she had been rather unjust. His explanation was not that far fetched either – his only offense had been being concerned for her.
'But that is offense enough,' she muttered to herself. 'The last thing I need is a shoulder to cry on – they're far to addicting.'
As she sat on the sand, in her still damp clothing, she began to feel the silence close in on her. She realized that she had not been alone – truly alone – with her own thoughts for a long while. Not like this anyway. Her troubled dreams had effectively kept her from brooding while she slept, and over the past few nights her encounters with Elladan had kept her preoccupied. She had begun to forget how quiet it was when you were alone. She curled up on the sand and tried to block out her surrounding, but she couldn't. The dark sea stretched out before her – empty; the forest was lifeless and full of shadow – empty. Only the sky held any light, but even that did not lift her spirits. The stars seemed to retreat back into themselves; she felt like she was falling away from them, like they were withdrawing their blessing from her. She felt like she was being rebuked.
"What was I supposed to do?" she asked the slowly dimming stars. They gave her no reply.
"His act was dishonorable… very inappropriate… I could not have responded differently." She tried desperately to reconcile this reasoning with what she knew in her heart. Somewhere she heard a voice whisper 'He was trying to protect you.'
She huffed in disbelief. "Protect me? And what, pray tell, do I need to be protected from?" She folded her arms in front of her chest and frowned, looking much like a disgruntled young elf-ling.
She did not hear a reply, but she didn't need to. A small voice in the back of her mind whispered the cold truth, and the answer made its way, trembling, out of her fragile lips.
"Myself."
Her rigid pose disintegrated, and with a loud groan she flopped back onto the sand.
When morning finally came, Oloriel's dark surroundings slowly faded back into the sunny walls of her room. She grimaced at the light coming in through her window and burrowed farther underneath the covers. 'If this is what I have to deal with in my dream world, I don't think I even want to face the real one today.'
***
1. This tasty little line was unabashedly pilfered from the movie "Mansfield Park", based off of Jane Austen's novel.
Vilya: one of the three elven rings of power. The ring of air (as opposed to fire orwater), I believe. Elrond was its keeper.
Names to Know:
Oloriel: "dream daughter"
Karnélas: "red leaf"
Olórë Mallë: Path of Dreams
Reviewers: Sorry about forgetting to reply in the last chapter!
bratprincess: You know what? Hearing that my story brightened your day really brightened my own day. I'm glad you're enjoying to so much. = ) Hmmm… book or movie?… it's a tough choice. I would like to stick to book, but I also need to be a little realistic. Trying to come up with enough dream stuff to keep with the plot for the months it will be before they actually meet might be tough. I think I'll speed up the timeline a little bit. But I should be keeping everything except the timeline intact – characters, events, etc. TigerLily713: Well, I replied to most of your stuff in the e-mail… but, thanks again. And I am very flattered that you find my writing to readable. *smiles with glee*Dreamstrifer: You sound exactly like a friend of mine – she can't stand Arwen in the movie… "All she does is kiss Aragorn!"… I don't mind her, except the fact that she does rain on Glorfindel's parade. You can't have everything I guess. I'm hoping to keep both Arwen and Elrohir involved with the plot. Glad you like her. = )
Concetta: Well, what can I say… here's more! ; )
*To those of you who left a review on my poem… It's not like I could put my thanks on the next 'chatper', so thanks!
Thanks to Blade-singer (Cathol-lin) of tolkienonline.com (go read her story "Legolas and the Olore Malle!) and 'Wandering Minds' of fanfiction.net for providing some sparks of inspiration!
Now please, PLEASE review! I've never claimed to own my own muse, so I must get my inspiration and encouragement from another source! Come one... you know you want to... = )
~Iluvien~