Authors Note- Hey All, Sorry its a bit of a late update today. Um, anyways, I will prolbably only update once today, cause we only have 12 chapters written, so I don't want to finishing posting them, and then not have any left to post... Does that make any sense? Probably not. Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing.
Disclaimer- Not ours.
Rating- PG 13 (language isn't too bad yet...)
Chapter Nine
"Why do you get to decide that?" I jog up beside her, grabbing her arm, she faces me, a simple tear wandering down her cheek, catches my attention. She looks at me, her stare cold and hurtful, but I don't look away. That is what she wants, for me to give up on her. I wonder how the hell I ended up in this hateful mess in the first place. I only met her three days ago, everything seemed great, they were going well. Then, boom, suddenly there was something between us.
"Because, you are naive." I roll my eyes, and sigh. She really has no idea does she? She thinks she is the only one in the world feeling pain, she's wrong. Dead wrong. I have two children at home who are growing up without a mother, how do I ease their pain? I can't bring her back, the answer is I can't. They will always have a void within them, a void only a mother's love can fill, they didn't get a chance to experience that. But hell, maybe Abby's sad story is like that too. 'Cause I know she has a sad story. Every time I look at her, I see the pain her eyes.
"I'm not naive, okay. I've been through hell and back too." This time its her turn to roll her eyes and sigh. I just watch, then continue feeding the fire. "You think you know everything. You don't know how the hell I felt last night. You don't know how I feel about you now." My anger rises, this women drives me nuts, but its a rush. being with her is a rush.
"Yes I do. You don't want me..." I release her from my grip, she protectively grabs her arm, as though I have hurt her in some way.
"How do you know that?" I say it softly, simply. Disregarding my anger, hoping to go a little bit deeper this time. Maybe actually reach her.
"You apologized." Her voice falters, her eyes fall upon the sand, that has found a place in my shoes. I give her a quizzical look, once her eyes have fallen upon me once again. "If you wanted it to happen, you wouldn't have left. You wouldn't be here now apologizing." She explains this to me with a hint of bitterness and pain in her voice. Does she really want me to want her?
"I-I thought you didn't-" I try to cover up, but the bitterness she once held, comes out in a laugh, then sand is kicked upon my shoe. Is that he way of telling me something? Like what I just said is a load of shit? I'm not sure.
"Carter- Did you go home last night feeling guilty? Did you speak to your wife? Did you think about how its too soon." She's right, I do regret it. I can't say anything to fix that, its the truth. I felt guilty about the kiss. I don't regret meeting her, I'm just not so sure we're right for each. I feel a deeper connection to her, one I haven't felt, since Becca, I just, I don't want to ruin that. I want her to always be there. Right now I think she's what I need, I think I am what she needs. If only she could see that. If she could just, have a sense of happiness... My thoughts come to an abrupt halt as I realise what I could do...
"Come to my place tonight..." A look of utter confusion falls over her. She looks at me for a second, a smile creeps upon my lips, and she sighs, then tension that once hung over us, like a dark cloud, is gone. Everything has changed, the mood especially. "Come for dinner. Surprisingly I can cook, my kids actually eat it. I mean, its just spaghetti, but come..." She looks at me again.
"I can't. I work." She says simply. Her eyes not leaving mine for a second.
"You're not in the mental state to work. I'll call in and get you out of it, if I have too." I won't let her loose this one. She can't work. She is a wreck, she doesn't need it, and the patience don't need it. It will only end badly. She looks at me, trying to read the expression on my face.
"As a date?" I laugh out loud, and shake my head. "Okay then, thanks for the ego boost Carter." She pushes her hair out of her face.
"No. Not a date... Not that I wouldn't date you, but... in light of what happened-" I stammer for a second before regaining my verbal bearings. "No. As friends, that's what seems to work for us." She smiles at me, the first genuine smile I have seen. It fades quickly, replacing it another cold look. I try to mentally will the smile back, remembering how beautiful she looks when wearing it. No such luck.
"You really want me to come?" I nod, the kids will love her. I know it. She may have to watch out for any tricks Seb will play on her, but other than that, I think it could be okay.
"If you will be uncomfortable, I can ask Susan to come as well?"
"She's working." Her eyes are downcast once again, they flicker back up at me, she turns her body in the direction we came. She continues a steady walking pace, I follow her. Matching her pace for pace, the clouds loom over us, I can hear her feet smash against the pavement, out of anger, I'm not sure. "What time do you want me there?" She stops suddenly, out of breath and a little bit shaken up. I look at her, puzzled, not really sure what her sudden out burst was about.
"Uh- Six is good." She nods in agreement, she attempts to walk away, but before she can I pull her into a tight hug. She stiffens in my arms, slowly easing into the gesture. Her arms snake around my waist, I loosen my grip around her, and start a rubbing motion along her back. Her head rests against my chest, her breaths matching my heartbeat. Gently, my chin rests against her head. Everything seems okay right now. The world is at peace, Abby is at peace. I know it won't last for long, but even a moment is good enough. Some day's those simple moments are what get me through, help me make it by. When I don't think I can any more. But she will learn that each day makes it that much easier, if you're willing to let go. I never was. I am finally learning too. Maybe we can help each other. Her hands make their way to my chest, pushing off of me. She looks at me, my arms, loosely, encircle her waist, she looks up at me. A small smile forms on her lips, and my heart skips a beat, she's beautiful. I let go of her, slip my jacket off of my arms, and place it around her body. She smiles nervously, tucking a few strands of hair away, and we start our journey back to Susan.
~*~
"So... A friend is coming for dinner?" Maddie asks, raising her eye brow. I nod in response, as I prepare the dinner. "Do we need to dress up for this?" I shake my head, and she continues to study me, I should have guessed she would be like this. "It's not Aunt Susan?" She quizzes, again I shake my head. Finding this the easiest way to answer her. She will get suspicious, well even more so, if I open my mouth. "Its a woman?" I nod again, rolling my eyes, exasperated by the third degree, I am receiving from my seven year old.
"His girlfriend!" Seb laugh. I pick up a towel and toss it at his head, he yelps with laughter, balling it up and throwing it back at me. We throw it back and forth, as Maddie looks on, then joins in. I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder.
"Loosen up, kiddo. You'll have fun." She laughs, wriggles free of my grip, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me on the cheek.
"Door BELL!" Sebastian screeches running for the door. I carry Maddie, running after the little scamp. Sebastian runs into the door, falling backwards, Maddie screeches with laughter, as he clumsily picks himself off the floor. I reach to open the door, but Seb pushes me away, and reaches for the knob, as Maddies, head rests upon my shoulder, I can tell she is preparing for the worst.
~Review Responses~
smilez4eva- About freaking time too, lol. Yeah, Carter totally gets her, its great.
Kayla- Glad you're enjoying it, they do connect emotionally.
lolomo- Thank you, glad you like our story... Um, for the ideas, we usually come up with the seperately actually. One of us will have an idea and the other will be like wait a second thats awesome, but you this has gotta go lol. Or whatever this story was actually gonna be a bit different... But Liby, was like no, it be better like this (the way it is now) So I had to have her write it, or yah know it woulda been bad...
Carby04- Thank you... You really look for our story first... Aw. Thanks:) Don't worry, we will keep running, when we get ideas we try to keep them rolling.
~Preview~
He holds my hand in the palm of his, my hand is flat against his cheek. His hands is on top of mine. He's looking at me; he's looking into me. I move closer to him. He engulfs me in his arms and I melt into all that he is. My head rests against his chest; his chin is comfortably placed on top of my head.
Disclaimer- Not ours.
Rating- PG 13 (language isn't too bad yet...)
Chapter Nine
"Why do you get to decide that?" I jog up beside her, grabbing her arm, she faces me, a simple tear wandering down her cheek, catches my attention. She looks at me, her stare cold and hurtful, but I don't look away. That is what she wants, for me to give up on her. I wonder how the hell I ended up in this hateful mess in the first place. I only met her three days ago, everything seemed great, they were going well. Then, boom, suddenly there was something between us.
"Because, you are naive." I roll my eyes, and sigh. She really has no idea does she? She thinks she is the only one in the world feeling pain, she's wrong. Dead wrong. I have two children at home who are growing up without a mother, how do I ease their pain? I can't bring her back, the answer is I can't. They will always have a void within them, a void only a mother's love can fill, they didn't get a chance to experience that. But hell, maybe Abby's sad story is like that too. 'Cause I know she has a sad story. Every time I look at her, I see the pain her eyes.
"I'm not naive, okay. I've been through hell and back too." This time its her turn to roll her eyes and sigh. I just watch, then continue feeding the fire. "You think you know everything. You don't know how the hell I felt last night. You don't know how I feel about you now." My anger rises, this women drives me nuts, but its a rush. being with her is a rush.
"Yes I do. You don't want me..." I release her from my grip, she protectively grabs her arm, as though I have hurt her in some way.
"How do you know that?" I say it softly, simply. Disregarding my anger, hoping to go a little bit deeper this time. Maybe actually reach her.
"You apologized." Her voice falters, her eyes fall upon the sand, that has found a place in my shoes. I give her a quizzical look, once her eyes have fallen upon me once again. "If you wanted it to happen, you wouldn't have left. You wouldn't be here now apologizing." She explains this to me with a hint of bitterness and pain in her voice. Does she really want me to want her?
"I-I thought you didn't-" I try to cover up, but the bitterness she once held, comes out in a laugh, then sand is kicked upon my shoe. Is that he way of telling me something? Like what I just said is a load of shit? I'm not sure.
"Carter- Did you go home last night feeling guilty? Did you speak to your wife? Did you think about how its too soon." She's right, I do regret it. I can't say anything to fix that, its the truth. I felt guilty about the kiss. I don't regret meeting her, I'm just not so sure we're right for each. I feel a deeper connection to her, one I haven't felt, since Becca, I just, I don't want to ruin that. I want her to always be there. Right now I think she's what I need, I think I am what she needs. If only she could see that. If she could just, have a sense of happiness... My thoughts come to an abrupt halt as I realise what I could do...
"Come to my place tonight..." A look of utter confusion falls over her. She looks at me for a second, a smile creeps upon my lips, and she sighs, then tension that once hung over us, like a dark cloud, is gone. Everything has changed, the mood especially. "Come for dinner. Surprisingly I can cook, my kids actually eat it. I mean, its just spaghetti, but come..." She looks at me again.
"I can't. I work." She says simply. Her eyes not leaving mine for a second.
"You're not in the mental state to work. I'll call in and get you out of it, if I have too." I won't let her loose this one. She can't work. She is a wreck, she doesn't need it, and the patience don't need it. It will only end badly. She looks at me, trying to read the expression on my face.
"As a date?" I laugh out loud, and shake my head. "Okay then, thanks for the ego boost Carter." She pushes her hair out of her face.
"No. Not a date... Not that I wouldn't date you, but... in light of what happened-" I stammer for a second before regaining my verbal bearings. "No. As friends, that's what seems to work for us." She smiles at me, the first genuine smile I have seen. It fades quickly, replacing it another cold look. I try to mentally will the smile back, remembering how beautiful she looks when wearing it. No such luck.
"You really want me to come?" I nod, the kids will love her. I know it. She may have to watch out for any tricks Seb will play on her, but other than that, I think it could be okay.
"If you will be uncomfortable, I can ask Susan to come as well?"
"She's working." Her eyes are downcast once again, they flicker back up at me, she turns her body in the direction we came. She continues a steady walking pace, I follow her. Matching her pace for pace, the clouds loom over us, I can hear her feet smash against the pavement, out of anger, I'm not sure. "What time do you want me there?" She stops suddenly, out of breath and a little bit shaken up. I look at her, puzzled, not really sure what her sudden out burst was about.
"Uh- Six is good." She nods in agreement, she attempts to walk away, but before she can I pull her into a tight hug. She stiffens in my arms, slowly easing into the gesture. Her arms snake around my waist, I loosen my grip around her, and start a rubbing motion along her back. Her head rests against my chest, her breaths matching my heartbeat. Gently, my chin rests against her head. Everything seems okay right now. The world is at peace, Abby is at peace. I know it won't last for long, but even a moment is good enough. Some day's those simple moments are what get me through, help me make it by. When I don't think I can any more. But she will learn that each day makes it that much easier, if you're willing to let go. I never was. I am finally learning too. Maybe we can help each other. Her hands make their way to my chest, pushing off of me. She looks at me, my arms, loosely, encircle her waist, she looks up at me. A small smile forms on her lips, and my heart skips a beat, she's beautiful. I let go of her, slip my jacket off of my arms, and place it around her body. She smiles nervously, tucking a few strands of hair away, and we start our journey back to Susan.
~*~
"So... A friend is coming for dinner?" Maddie asks, raising her eye brow. I nod in response, as I prepare the dinner. "Do we need to dress up for this?" I shake my head, and she continues to study me, I should have guessed she would be like this. "It's not Aunt Susan?" She quizzes, again I shake my head. Finding this the easiest way to answer her. She will get suspicious, well even more so, if I open my mouth. "Its a woman?" I nod again, rolling my eyes, exasperated by the third degree, I am receiving from my seven year old.
"His girlfriend!" Seb laugh. I pick up a towel and toss it at his head, he yelps with laughter, balling it up and throwing it back at me. We throw it back and forth, as Maddie looks on, then joins in. I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder.
"Loosen up, kiddo. You'll have fun." She laughs, wriggles free of my grip, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me on the cheek.
"Door BELL!" Sebastian screeches running for the door. I carry Maddie, running after the little scamp. Sebastian runs into the door, falling backwards, Maddie screeches with laughter, as he clumsily picks himself off the floor. I reach to open the door, but Seb pushes me away, and reaches for the knob, as Maddies, head rests upon my shoulder, I can tell she is preparing for the worst.
~Review Responses~
smilez4eva- About freaking time too, lol. Yeah, Carter totally gets her, its great.
Kayla- Glad you're enjoying it, they do connect emotionally.
lolomo- Thank you, glad you like our story... Um, for the ideas, we usually come up with the seperately actually. One of us will have an idea and the other will be like wait a second thats awesome, but you this has gotta go lol. Or whatever this story was actually gonna be a bit different... But Liby, was like no, it be better like this (the way it is now) So I had to have her write it, or yah know it woulda been bad...
Carby04- Thank you... You really look for our story first... Aw. Thanks:) Don't worry, we will keep running, when we get ideas we try to keep them rolling.
~Preview~
He holds my hand in the palm of his, my hand is flat against his cheek. His hands is on top of mine. He's looking at me; he's looking into me. I move closer to him. He engulfs me in his arms and I melt into all that he is. My head rests against his chest; his chin is comfortably placed on top of my head.