Authors Note- So chapter eleven, we aren't that far ahead with our writing yet, not like we were with Hate To Love And Back... But we are at Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen will be completed sometime this weekend, so yeah, you'll all have read that by monday. Anyways... Thanks for reading and Reviewing.
Chapter Eleven
The grey clouds loom over us, Maddies tiny hands grasp tighter around mine, her nails puncturing the skin. "When are we going to be there..." She whines, in a panicked voice. I lift her up, the rain drizzles down, Sebastian walks a few feet ahead of us, the grumbles of thunder not disturbing his steady thoughts. The rain comes down harder, Maddies elbows dig into my shoulders, as she holds on for dear life. Assuring her that thunder won't hurt her, is like teaching a baby to speak French. Impossible. Sebastian turns around suddenly, studying me, his face crunched up, his brow creased, as his thoughts brew.
"Can I give Abby a school picture." I shrug, sure, why not. Maddie on the other heads scoffs. Releasing a deep heavy sigh, followed by an eye roll. Sebastian adores Abby, Maddie on the other hand, wouldn't mind if she disappeared and never came back. I'm not sure why she does not like her. Ever since Becky died Maddie has had trouble getting along with women, women who interact with me especially. Susan is the exception to that rule, I think that's because Susan has always been a part of her life.
"Why would you want to give HER, anything..." Maddie draws her words out, making Abby into some awful monster. "I don't like her, and I never, ever want to see her again." She just might get her wish. The way Abby bolted outta my place last night was unsettling. I wasn't intending on doing anything with her, I already know how she feels about me.
"Maddie..." I start setting her down on the pavement, "you have no right to say those things about anyone." She gives me an eye roll, which leads me to firmer grounds. "No. Madison Lisa Carter, you are not above anyone. Not your brother, not me, not Gamma-"
"Dad, no ones above Gamma, she's like the richest person alive." Seb interjects. Not quite, but he's sort of right. With all that money she does hold a fair amount of power, but that still doesn't give her the right to be a snot. Which is where Maddie could be learning this from. Gamma hasn't always been a people person, or at least not with the 'lower class,' or the 'working stiffs,' such as myself. I'm just a working stiff with a nice cushion to keep me happy for well... The rest of my life.
"That still doesn't give her the right to be mean." I tell Sebastian... Madison leaves us to sit down on the bench, outside the ER. "Madison, you have to promise me something." She raises her eye brows in the form of an answer. "That you will give Abby a chance." She sighs dramatically, throwing her head against the bench. Then, solemnly, nods. I pull her into a hug, she responds by pecking me on the cheek.
"But I'm not giving her my picture." She snots, well, at least I got a half hearted promise out of the twerp. I stare down at her, giving her a cold look before grabbing Sebastian's hand. I don't like them running free in her, putting them in the lounge is bad enough, but when Sebastian runs around asking people if they want his autograph, it doesn't sit well with me. We walk up to the desk, Frank is seated on a stool, rocking himself back and forth, while munching on some sort of sandwich, that keeps leaking mayonnaise out of the sides and end. I grab a chart, and head for the lounge, Sebastian blows in first, a smile apparent on his face.
"Abby!" He squeals, well this won't be awkward, not. She looks up smiling, Sebastian throws his arms around her neck in a big bear hug. She reciprocates it, by standing up and completing the hug. Her eyes meet mine, her once happy face is gone, a stone cold expression now covers it, tension falls in the air, as Maddie ignores her completely and heads for the couch. "I have a picture for you Abby!" Sebastian exclaims reaching into his coat pocket, and pulling out a picture of himself. "It's me." He explains, she smiles at it, wiping a wisp of fallen hair out of his eyes. She stares at the picture adoringly, then tucks it away in her coat.
"I'll put it somewhere special." She tells him. He nods, accepting that as a valid answer, then plops down beside his sister watching television.
"Couldn't get a babysitter?" Great, a lame attempt at easing the tension is all we need. I open my locker, and route through it.
"Uh- no, she's coming in a few minutes to pick them up. I just wanted to spend sometime with them after school." She watches me as I speak, her eyes never leaving my face. It makes me nervous, because I don't know what she expects me to say, or do. I wouldn't know where to start, I've known her barley a week, and already we have a complex relationship, the most complex relationship I have ever been in. It scares the hell out of me. I don't know where we are headed, one moment I think we are fine, friends, nothing more. The next we are thisclose to kissing, or actually kissing. I try to sort out my feelings for her, late at night I lye in bed, thinking of the ways I feel about her, coming up with explanations for my actions. Reason why I don't love her. The main one being, I don't think I'm capable of love. Not since Rebecca, she was my true love. There is no one like her, there is no love like ours. I don't want to forget her, I don't want her gone. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. I know that's a cheesy cliche, but I can't help it. Its exactly how I feel. Except I can't have her. Not anymore. I guess I should feel lucky that I had her once. She was mine, we had all the love in the world, then she was taken from me... Quickly, too quickly. I got a chance to know her, to love her, unlike Sebastian, who will never, truly, know his mother. To him she will always be an image. Someone people describe to him, but he will never actually have an understanding of what she was like.
"Oh-" Is all she says...I guess trying to talk the day after an 'almost kiss' is pretty hard. We stare at each other, neither one of us making an attempt to dissipate the tension.
"Look, Abby, I've told you where I stand with us. Friends. I know you don't want more, that's fine, just don't hurt what we could have, because of it. Don't be afraid." Her eyes are glued on me.
"I don't deserve you." Its that simple for her. She leaves. Without another word, without a goodbye, without a see yah in hell. It's that easy for her. I just wish it was that easy for me. But I see something in her, something no one else seems to see, and I know she just needs someone to talk too. I watch the lounge door, hoping she will come back, knowing there is not a chance in hell that she will. She just thinks the whole world is going to give up on her. I won't. I can't.
"Daddy-" I look over at Sebastian, a grin on his face.
"Yeah?"
"Can Abby come over for dinner again tonight? I'll cook." I laugh, yeah right. I'm not having a kitchen fire, cause my five year old decides to cook for her new crush, or whatever she may to him. I reach into my lab coat, a crinkled piece of paper in the pocket grabs my attention. I pull it out, the phone number. The number Susan scrawled onto the torn piece of envelope and made me have. I tried to fight her on it, but she was having none of it. She kept reminding me how pathetic my life is. I decided it wouldn't hurt, but now I'm contemplating using the number. Something I never thought I would do.
~Review Responses~
Kayla- Kem is not my favourite person, she's too freaking perfect... grrr.... Anyways, lol, yeah Carter is awesome when he helps Abby, its when he tries to change her that issues arise. Thanks for reviewing, and reading..:)
~Preview~
"Thank you." I shrug my shoulders and head over to the cabinet to place the saline and gauze pads away. I feel his presence behind me. His hand lingers on my hip for a few moments before he goes any further. I don't want him to. This only drags us both down deeper. I hope to god he has enough sense to stop because I will not be able to stop him.
Authors Notex2- Just thought I should let you know I wrote this chapter, and I know how much it sucks... lol, its cheesy... But the rest aren't like this, I was having a weird writing day lol... Anyways thanks for reading.
Chapter Eleven
The grey clouds loom over us, Maddies tiny hands grasp tighter around mine, her nails puncturing the skin. "When are we going to be there..." She whines, in a panicked voice. I lift her up, the rain drizzles down, Sebastian walks a few feet ahead of us, the grumbles of thunder not disturbing his steady thoughts. The rain comes down harder, Maddies elbows dig into my shoulders, as she holds on for dear life. Assuring her that thunder won't hurt her, is like teaching a baby to speak French. Impossible. Sebastian turns around suddenly, studying me, his face crunched up, his brow creased, as his thoughts brew.
"Can I give Abby a school picture." I shrug, sure, why not. Maddie on the other heads scoffs. Releasing a deep heavy sigh, followed by an eye roll. Sebastian adores Abby, Maddie on the other hand, wouldn't mind if she disappeared and never came back. I'm not sure why she does not like her. Ever since Becky died Maddie has had trouble getting along with women, women who interact with me especially. Susan is the exception to that rule, I think that's because Susan has always been a part of her life.
"Why would you want to give HER, anything..." Maddie draws her words out, making Abby into some awful monster. "I don't like her, and I never, ever want to see her again." She just might get her wish. The way Abby bolted outta my place last night was unsettling. I wasn't intending on doing anything with her, I already know how she feels about me.
"Maddie..." I start setting her down on the pavement, "you have no right to say those things about anyone." She gives me an eye roll, which leads me to firmer grounds. "No. Madison Lisa Carter, you are not above anyone. Not your brother, not me, not Gamma-"
"Dad, no ones above Gamma, she's like the richest person alive." Seb interjects. Not quite, but he's sort of right. With all that money she does hold a fair amount of power, but that still doesn't give her the right to be a snot. Which is where Maddie could be learning this from. Gamma hasn't always been a people person, or at least not with the 'lower class,' or the 'working stiffs,' such as myself. I'm just a working stiff with a nice cushion to keep me happy for well... The rest of my life.
"That still doesn't give her the right to be mean." I tell Sebastian... Madison leaves us to sit down on the bench, outside the ER. "Madison, you have to promise me something." She raises her eye brows in the form of an answer. "That you will give Abby a chance." She sighs dramatically, throwing her head against the bench. Then, solemnly, nods. I pull her into a hug, she responds by pecking me on the cheek.
"But I'm not giving her my picture." She snots, well, at least I got a half hearted promise out of the twerp. I stare down at her, giving her a cold look before grabbing Sebastian's hand. I don't like them running free in her, putting them in the lounge is bad enough, but when Sebastian runs around asking people if they want his autograph, it doesn't sit well with me. We walk up to the desk, Frank is seated on a stool, rocking himself back and forth, while munching on some sort of sandwich, that keeps leaking mayonnaise out of the sides and end. I grab a chart, and head for the lounge, Sebastian blows in first, a smile apparent on his face.
"Abby!" He squeals, well this won't be awkward, not. She looks up smiling, Sebastian throws his arms around her neck in a big bear hug. She reciprocates it, by standing up and completing the hug. Her eyes meet mine, her once happy face is gone, a stone cold expression now covers it, tension falls in the air, as Maddie ignores her completely and heads for the couch. "I have a picture for you Abby!" Sebastian exclaims reaching into his coat pocket, and pulling out a picture of himself. "It's me." He explains, she smiles at it, wiping a wisp of fallen hair out of his eyes. She stares at the picture adoringly, then tucks it away in her coat.
"I'll put it somewhere special." She tells him. He nods, accepting that as a valid answer, then plops down beside his sister watching television.
"Couldn't get a babysitter?" Great, a lame attempt at easing the tension is all we need. I open my locker, and route through it.
"Uh- no, she's coming in a few minutes to pick them up. I just wanted to spend sometime with them after school." She watches me as I speak, her eyes never leaving my face. It makes me nervous, because I don't know what she expects me to say, or do. I wouldn't know where to start, I've known her barley a week, and already we have a complex relationship, the most complex relationship I have ever been in. It scares the hell out of me. I don't know where we are headed, one moment I think we are fine, friends, nothing more. The next we are thisclose to kissing, or actually kissing. I try to sort out my feelings for her, late at night I lye in bed, thinking of the ways I feel about her, coming up with explanations for my actions. Reason why I don't love her. The main one being, I don't think I'm capable of love. Not since Rebecca, she was my true love. There is no one like her, there is no love like ours. I don't want to forget her, I don't want her gone. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. I know that's a cheesy cliche, but I can't help it. Its exactly how I feel. Except I can't have her. Not anymore. I guess I should feel lucky that I had her once. She was mine, we had all the love in the world, then she was taken from me... Quickly, too quickly. I got a chance to know her, to love her, unlike Sebastian, who will never, truly, know his mother. To him she will always be an image. Someone people describe to him, but he will never actually have an understanding of what she was like.
"Oh-" Is all she says...I guess trying to talk the day after an 'almost kiss' is pretty hard. We stare at each other, neither one of us making an attempt to dissipate the tension.
"Look, Abby, I've told you where I stand with us. Friends. I know you don't want more, that's fine, just don't hurt what we could have, because of it. Don't be afraid." Her eyes are glued on me.
"I don't deserve you." Its that simple for her. She leaves. Without another word, without a goodbye, without a see yah in hell. It's that easy for her. I just wish it was that easy for me. But I see something in her, something no one else seems to see, and I know she just needs someone to talk too. I watch the lounge door, hoping she will come back, knowing there is not a chance in hell that she will. She just thinks the whole world is going to give up on her. I won't. I can't.
"Daddy-" I look over at Sebastian, a grin on his face.
"Yeah?"
"Can Abby come over for dinner again tonight? I'll cook." I laugh, yeah right. I'm not having a kitchen fire, cause my five year old decides to cook for her new crush, or whatever she may to him. I reach into my lab coat, a crinkled piece of paper in the pocket grabs my attention. I pull it out, the phone number. The number Susan scrawled onto the torn piece of envelope and made me have. I tried to fight her on it, but she was having none of it. She kept reminding me how pathetic my life is. I decided it wouldn't hurt, but now I'm contemplating using the number. Something I never thought I would do.
~Review Responses~
Kayla- Kem is not my favourite person, she's too freaking perfect... grrr.... Anyways, lol, yeah Carter is awesome when he helps Abby, its when he tries to change her that issues arise. Thanks for reviewing, and reading..:)
~Preview~
"Thank you." I shrug my shoulders and head over to the cabinet to place the saline and gauze pads away. I feel his presence behind me. His hand lingers on my hip for a few moments before he goes any further. I don't want him to. This only drags us both down deeper. I hope to god he has enough sense to stop because I will not be able to stop him.
Authors Notex2- Just thought I should let you know I wrote this chapter, and I know how much it sucks... lol, its cheesy... But the rest aren't like this, I was having a weird writing day lol... Anyways thanks for reading.