Authors Note- Thanks for the reviews, there are no responses today. I didn't have time. But in the next update for sure.
Rating- R... Just to be safe, there has already been some sexual content, and the language seems to get increasingly worse... So you've been warned.
Her fingers rest upon my cheek, before slowly running through my hair, carelessly. Her one hand falls, gently cupping my face, as my tongue dances along her soft lips, begging for her to let me in, she stands firm, guarding herself. Reluctantly at first, she pushes me off of her. I step forward, trying to capture her lips with my own one last time. She follows my movements and steps back, her hands play along my chest, resisting me. Tilting my head to the side, my eyes plead with hers, but she isn't budging. "Its not right." Her voice low, "it would never work. I-" She shakes her head, chewing her bottom lip nervously. My finger makes it way up to her chin, lingering there for a second before she brushes it off. I drop my hands to my side defeated. I can't force myself upon her. If she doesn't want me, she doesn't have to have me. Its as simple as that. Hell, maybe she's right. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. Our eyes remain locked, each lost in their own thoughts, daring not to disturb the other. The shrill scream rips through the air, I look at the clock, four o'clock. A lot later then usual. Since, his night was jumbled around, his schedule was thrown off. We break our contact, the only contact we will probably ever have again, and head towards a shrieking Sebastian.
I make it to him before she does, reaching out, I scoop the sobbing little boy into my arms. His tears stain my shirt, his tiny fingers clutch onto my arms. Abby stands next to me, protectively rubbing his back, soothing the shaking body. Seb looks up, catching sight of Abby. He smiles at her, she pulls him out of my arms, releasing the grip on me, he goes. Thankful for the comfort of his mother figure. "Daddy?" I look over to the doorway, a dim light, casts a shadow over her tiny figure. I walk closer to her, bringing her into my arms, protectively.
"Hey, you should be asleep." I whisper into her hair, drawing Abby's attention. To an onlooker we would be the picture of a perfect family. To the trained eye, we are anything but perfect. We have more secrets, painful memories, and scars, then a family should have. I bring her into the bedroom, I sense Abby close behind me. I sit down on the bed, Madison still in my arms, Abby follows suit. I can tell that Sebby has dozed off, but it will take a few minutes before he is in a deep enough slumber to leave. Maddie is sleeping again.
I look over at Abby, watching as she gently strokes Sebastian's hair, providing a source of amenity. I smile at her, she smiles tightly back. "You look so-"
"Don't say it." She interrupts me. "I don't need another reminder, okay, just don't-" I look at her quizzically, sensing the desperation in her voice. I nod my head slightly, watching as a small tear falls, landing on her eye lashes, she quickly wipes it away. She is breaking, I can tell. She can no longer hide like she use too. Her innermost thoughts are slowly coming to the surface, I have gained her trust, I am not sure how, but I am sure as hell not going to do anything to wreck it. I carefully lift Maddie out of my arms, placing her under the covers. I walk over to the opposite side of the bed, doing the same to Sebastian. Abby looks up at me questioningly. I just take her hand and gently lead her out of the bedroom.
Lying down on the couch, I pull her into my lap. She hesitates at first, but succumbing to tiredness, she agrees, but not without a roll of her eyes. Her head finds a spot on my chest, as my arms encircle her waist. Her cheek rests on my shoulder, and one at a time a tear falls onto my shoulder, just like they did with Sebastian, except he wasn't so quick to cover up the obvious pain. I hold her close, letting her cry, empty her heart out. Even as she lies in my arms, she tries to hide her tears. It is unbelievable what this women will do to try and convince people she is strong. She is, but there is a part of her, like there is a part of all of us, that is falling a part, she can't keep herself together, slowly she is peeling her masks off for me.
~*~
"Daddy, did you have sex with Abby last night?" The piece of toast I am currently eating becomes lodged in my throat, for a moment I don't think I am going to be able to dislodge it. Somehow I manage to get the piece of toast 'unjammed' and stare at my daughter shocked. She looks at me, proceeding to shrug. "Did you?" She presses.
"Maddie-" I scold, she rolls her eyes, waving me off. I can't believe my seven year old is asking me these questions. How the hell does she know what sex is? That's it she's never watching television again. I am locking her in the basement until she's thirty five. Its the only solution. I continue to stare at her open mouthed, as she and Sebastian kiss me on the cheek, and run out of the apartment with their newly arrived babysitter.
"Bye Dad, love you." They holler in unison. I stand up, still in shock from my child's previous statement. I decide to clean Abby's kitchen, to take my mind off of things. Many things, like how the hell my daughter knows about sex. That will keep my up every night for the rest of my life. I don't know how I will survive once she starts to date. I guess I can pray that she turns out ugly, and I don't have to worry about dating. I pick up the dishes stacking them in the sink.
"You're a maid service too?" I look over my shoulder at a grinning Abby, she pushes her hair behind her ears. God she looks beautiful, even after choppy sleep, tears, kisses, mild arguments, and screaming children, I still can't help but stare. I mentally kick myself, knowing that I am probably making her uncomfortable, seeing as she does not feel the same. I take my eyes off of her and continue cleaning the kitchen. She strides up next to me, leaning against the counter, wearing my wrinkled t-shirt. Okay, so I kind of get where Maddie might have gotten the whole sex impression. She tucks her hair behind her ears in nervousness. The tension is looming over us. So I decide to break it.
"So, Maddie asked me if we had sex." Okay, so probably not the best way to start, but hell, you have to start somewhere. She looks shocked, then breaks out into laughter.
"Hey, its not funny." I interject. She shakes her head, clapping her hand over her mouth.
"Sorry, its just- She's seven." I nod, my eyes widening, yeah she is seven.
"Yeah, that leads me to wonder how the hell my seven year old knows about sex."
"Well, Carter, you know kids these days. They are starting so young, its not rare for kids to be caught 'doing it' on the playground." I drop the dish in the sink, not caring as it shatters into a zillion pieces. Abby, bursts out laughing again, then rubs a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Jesus, Carter, I was kidding. Now you owe me for that dish." She turns and waltz into the bedroom. I shake my head, then decide to follow her.
I lean against the door frame, as she roots through her dresser for something to wear. A smile on her lips the whole time, I am not sure what has changed since last night, she seems to be in much better spirits then I've ever seen her. Or this could just be one of her acts. Another facade that she puts on to fool me. Its possible. I cringe at the thought, I will never truly know if she is happy. Or maybe I will, although if she's not right now she is doing a hell of a job of fooling me. Her hair rests upon her shoulders, every now and then it will carelessly fall into her face, I have to fight the urge to walk up to her and push it away for her. She whistles quietly to herself, as she takes her arms out of her sleeves, my breath catches in my throat... "Having fun watching me." I lean my head back, releasing a frustrated sigh.
"I was till then." I smile, my hands jammed into my pockets. She nods, walking up to me, yeah, she beautiful. Her shirt, or should I say mine, is off her body, a bra is quickly replacing it. The moment is gone too fast. She then walks into the bathroom, leaving me in complete and utter confusion. I stand staring at the door for god knows how long. Unable to move. I somehow manage to dislodge myself from my spot on the floor. I sit on the couch, waiting for her to get out of the washroom. The water runs, and I am torturing myself thinking about all the possibilities of what is going on in that washroom. I close my eyes tightly, trying to concentrate on anything but the growing bulge in my pants. Its impossible, the only thing I see is a topless Abby. Probably the last time I will see her topless. Although, lately with Abby you never know. She is the most complicated women I have ever met in my life, and I am having a hell of a time figuring her out, but I can't help but enjoy it. I find myself falling for her more and more every day. Last night I thought there was no chance in hell for us, after she pulled away from the kiss. Now I am not so sure, there could be hope. A small dash of hope.
"Hey sailor." She smiles, her hair now wet and messily hanging around her face. I look up at her, she notices the bulge in my pants, but a blind man could notice it... So that doesn't surprise me. I smile back at her, as she sits next to me on the couch. I run my hands through her hair, as she nervously watches me. Her eyes locked on mine. My fingers trail over to her face, she leans against my touch, her eyes closing, as she breathes in deeply. I scoot closer to her, wanting to close any space between us. I need to be close to her so badly, I don't think I can bare separation at this point. She opens her eyes, her hands find their way to my lap, and I watch as she takes them up my chest. Her once happy expression lost to a serious one, one that is unexpected, indescribably sexy. She bites on her lip, and I lean forward ever so slightly, she doesn't move an inch. My head stays frozen in that spot, she slowly moves forward, ever so slightly, but enough to let me know that she is interested in reciprocating. I lean forward, and connect us. Her lips touch mine for a moment before pulling away. Her hands land on my chest, pushing me away.
"I can't-" I look up at her, this women has no clue what she does to me. She throws me for loops, she breaks my heart. I am attracted to her, I want her in my life, but I am not sure if I can keep doing this to myself. "I'm sorry John." She bites back a tear, by gnawing on her bottom lip. "I guess nothings changed from last night." I nod, taking a moment to bite on my bottom lip. She reaches out her hand to console me, but I brush her off shaking my head. "John, sorry."
"No-" I stand up, running my hands through my hair. "Its okay, really its okay. I understand." I take in a deep breath. I watch as she tries to approach me, but I don't need or want her pity. I've had all the pity I can take over the last three years. The last thing I need is pity from her, the first women I've been attracted too since Rebecca. I walk towards the bedroom, and gather all the kids stuff. This time she watches from the doorway. I brush past her, shrugging my jacket on, then opening the door to her apartment.
"I'll see you at work." I say closing the door, I guess that's the only time I will be seeing her from now on. At work.
Rating- R... Just to be safe, there has already been some sexual content, and the language seems to get increasingly worse... So you've been warned.
Her fingers rest upon my cheek, before slowly running through my hair, carelessly. Her one hand falls, gently cupping my face, as my tongue dances along her soft lips, begging for her to let me in, she stands firm, guarding herself. Reluctantly at first, she pushes me off of her. I step forward, trying to capture her lips with my own one last time. She follows my movements and steps back, her hands play along my chest, resisting me. Tilting my head to the side, my eyes plead with hers, but she isn't budging. "Its not right." Her voice low, "it would never work. I-" She shakes her head, chewing her bottom lip nervously. My finger makes it way up to her chin, lingering there for a second before she brushes it off. I drop my hands to my side defeated. I can't force myself upon her. If she doesn't want me, she doesn't have to have me. Its as simple as that. Hell, maybe she's right. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. Our eyes remain locked, each lost in their own thoughts, daring not to disturb the other. The shrill scream rips through the air, I look at the clock, four o'clock. A lot later then usual. Since, his night was jumbled around, his schedule was thrown off. We break our contact, the only contact we will probably ever have again, and head towards a shrieking Sebastian.
I make it to him before she does, reaching out, I scoop the sobbing little boy into my arms. His tears stain my shirt, his tiny fingers clutch onto my arms. Abby stands next to me, protectively rubbing his back, soothing the shaking body. Seb looks up, catching sight of Abby. He smiles at her, she pulls him out of my arms, releasing the grip on me, he goes. Thankful for the comfort of his mother figure. "Daddy?" I look over to the doorway, a dim light, casts a shadow over her tiny figure. I walk closer to her, bringing her into my arms, protectively.
"Hey, you should be asleep." I whisper into her hair, drawing Abby's attention. To an onlooker we would be the picture of a perfect family. To the trained eye, we are anything but perfect. We have more secrets, painful memories, and scars, then a family should have. I bring her into the bedroom, I sense Abby close behind me. I sit down on the bed, Madison still in my arms, Abby follows suit. I can tell that Sebby has dozed off, but it will take a few minutes before he is in a deep enough slumber to leave. Maddie is sleeping again.
I look over at Abby, watching as she gently strokes Sebastian's hair, providing a source of amenity. I smile at her, she smiles tightly back. "You look so-"
"Don't say it." She interrupts me. "I don't need another reminder, okay, just don't-" I look at her quizzically, sensing the desperation in her voice. I nod my head slightly, watching as a small tear falls, landing on her eye lashes, she quickly wipes it away. She is breaking, I can tell. She can no longer hide like she use too. Her innermost thoughts are slowly coming to the surface, I have gained her trust, I am not sure how, but I am sure as hell not going to do anything to wreck it. I carefully lift Maddie out of my arms, placing her under the covers. I walk over to the opposite side of the bed, doing the same to Sebastian. Abby looks up at me questioningly. I just take her hand and gently lead her out of the bedroom.
Lying down on the couch, I pull her into my lap. She hesitates at first, but succumbing to tiredness, she agrees, but not without a roll of her eyes. Her head finds a spot on my chest, as my arms encircle her waist. Her cheek rests on my shoulder, and one at a time a tear falls onto my shoulder, just like they did with Sebastian, except he wasn't so quick to cover up the obvious pain. I hold her close, letting her cry, empty her heart out. Even as she lies in my arms, she tries to hide her tears. It is unbelievable what this women will do to try and convince people she is strong. She is, but there is a part of her, like there is a part of all of us, that is falling a part, she can't keep herself together, slowly she is peeling her masks off for me.
~*~
"Daddy, did you have sex with Abby last night?" The piece of toast I am currently eating becomes lodged in my throat, for a moment I don't think I am going to be able to dislodge it. Somehow I manage to get the piece of toast 'unjammed' and stare at my daughter shocked. She looks at me, proceeding to shrug. "Did you?" She presses.
"Maddie-" I scold, she rolls her eyes, waving me off. I can't believe my seven year old is asking me these questions. How the hell does she know what sex is? That's it she's never watching television again. I am locking her in the basement until she's thirty five. Its the only solution. I continue to stare at her open mouthed, as she and Sebastian kiss me on the cheek, and run out of the apartment with their newly arrived babysitter.
"Bye Dad, love you." They holler in unison. I stand up, still in shock from my child's previous statement. I decide to clean Abby's kitchen, to take my mind off of things. Many things, like how the hell my daughter knows about sex. That will keep my up every night for the rest of my life. I don't know how I will survive once she starts to date. I guess I can pray that she turns out ugly, and I don't have to worry about dating. I pick up the dishes stacking them in the sink.
"You're a maid service too?" I look over my shoulder at a grinning Abby, she pushes her hair behind her ears. God she looks beautiful, even after choppy sleep, tears, kisses, mild arguments, and screaming children, I still can't help but stare. I mentally kick myself, knowing that I am probably making her uncomfortable, seeing as she does not feel the same. I take my eyes off of her and continue cleaning the kitchen. She strides up next to me, leaning against the counter, wearing my wrinkled t-shirt. Okay, so I kind of get where Maddie might have gotten the whole sex impression. She tucks her hair behind her ears in nervousness. The tension is looming over us. So I decide to break it.
"So, Maddie asked me if we had sex." Okay, so probably not the best way to start, but hell, you have to start somewhere. She looks shocked, then breaks out into laughter.
"Hey, its not funny." I interject. She shakes her head, clapping her hand over her mouth.
"Sorry, its just- She's seven." I nod, my eyes widening, yeah she is seven.
"Yeah, that leads me to wonder how the hell my seven year old knows about sex."
"Well, Carter, you know kids these days. They are starting so young, its not rare for kids to be caught 'doing it' on the playground." I drop the dish in the sink, not caring as it shatters into a zillion pieces. Abby, bursts out laughing again, then rubs a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Jesus, Carter, I was kidding. Now you owe me for that dish." She turns and waltz into the bedroom. I shake my head, then decide to follow her.
I lean against the door frame, as she roots through her dresser for something to wear. A smile on her lips the whole time, I am not sure what has changed since last night, she seems to be in much better spirits then I've ever seen her. Or this could just be one of her acts. Another facade that she puts on to fool me. Its possible. I cringe at the thought, I will never truly know if she is happy. Or maybe I will, although if she's not right now she is doing a hell of a job of fooling me. Her hair rests upon her shoulders, every now and then it will carelessly fall into her face, I have to fight the urge to walk up to her and push it away for her. She whistles quietly to herself, as she takes her arms out of her sleeves, my breath catches in my throat... "Having fun watching me." I lean my head back, releasing a frustrated sigh.
"I was till then." I smile, my hands jammed into my pockets. She nods, walking up to me, yeah, she beautiful. Her shirt, or should I say mine, is off her body, a bra is quickly replacing it. The moment is gone too fast. She then walks into the bathroom, leaving me in complete and utter confusion. I stand staring at the door for god knows how long. Unable to move. I somehow manage to dislodge myself from my spot on the floor. I sit on the couch, waiting for her to get out of the washroom. The water runs, and I am torturing myself thinking about all the possibilities of what is going on in that washroom. I close my eyes tightly, trying to concentrate on anything but the growing bulge in my pants. Its impossible, the only thing I see is a topless Abby. Probably the last time I will see her topless. Although, lately with Abby you never know. She is the most complicated women I have ever met in my life, and I am having a hell of a time figuring her out, but I can't help but enjoy it. I find myself falling for her more and more every day. Last night I thought there was no chance in hell for us, after she pulled away from the kiss. Now I am not so sure, there could be hope. A small dash of hope.
"Hey sailor." She smiles, her hair now wet and messily hanging around her face. I look up at her, she notices the bulge in my pants, but a blind man could notice it... So that doesn't surprise me. I smile back at her, as she sits next to me on the couch. I run my hands through her hair, as she nervously watches me. Her eyes locked on mine. My fingers trail over to her face, she leans against my touch, her eyes closing, as she breathes in deeply. I scoot closer to her, wanting to close any space between us. I need to be close to her so badly, I don't think I can bare separation at this point. She opens her eyes, her hands find their way to my lap, and I watch as she takes them up my chest. Her once happy expression lost to a serious one, one that is unexpected, indescribably sexy. She bites on her lip, and I lean forward ever so slightly, she doesn't move an inch. My head stays frozen in that spot, she slowly moves forward, ever so slightly, but enough to let me know that she is interested in reciprocating. I lean forward, and connect us. Her lips touch mine for a moment before pulling away. Her hands land on my chest, pushing me away.
"I can't-" I look up at her, this women has no clue what she does to me. She throws me for loops, she breaks my heart. I am attracted to her, I want her in my life, but I am not sure if I can keep doing this to myself. "I'm sorry John." She bites back a tear, by gnawing on her bottom lip. "I guess nothings changed from last night." I nod, taking a moment to bite on my bottom lip. She reaches out her hand to console me, but I brush her off shaking my head. "John, sorry."
"No-" I stand up, running my hands through my hair. "Its okay, really its okay. I understand." I take in a deep breath. I watch as she tries to approach me, but I don't need or want her pity. I've had all the pity I can take over the last three years. The last thing I need is pity from her, the first women I've been attracted too since Rebecca. I walk towards the bedroom, and gather all the kids stuff. This time she watches from the doorway. I brush past her, shrugging my jacket on, then opening the door to her apartment.
"I'll see you at work." I say closing the door, I guess that's the only time I will be seeing her from now on. At work.