Authors Note- A crap load of review responses, a preview, some angst, some fuzz, some tongue action, and a lotta fun. Enjoy the chapter:)
Chapter Fifteen
I refuse to break the kiss, the connection I have to this women is unbelievable... I haven't felt this way about anyone since, Rebecca. I bring my hand up to her face, brushing my fingers across her cheek lightly. I feel her grip her fingers around my neck, gaining easier access to my mouth. I stand up a bit, leaning against the table. Her tongue plays across my lips, I oblige, astonished that she hasn't pushed me away yet. Her tongue ventures further into my mouth, I begin to stand up, she follows suit, as we deepen the kiss...
"Holy shit!" Suddenly I'm being pushed off of her, not with tons of force, but enough to send me back a bit. We both snap our heads to the side, to see an open mouth Susan, staring at us in disbelief. Abby walks further away from me. She is pushing herself away, both physically and emotionally.
"I can explain-" Abby stammers quickly, Susan brushes it off by walking over to the fridge and opening it up.
"Meh, don't worry about it. People kiss." Her voice laced with scepticism, I know I'll be getting the third degree later, as will Abby, I presume. Abby stares at her for a second longer, tension filling the room, like hot air filling a balloon. I can sense she is getting ready to bolt, its what she does best, hell, its what I do best. She quickly turns, to look at me, Susan back is still too us. I eye her suspiciously, noticing every antsy move she makes. She shoves a lock of hair behind her ears, while chewing on her lip. I gesture with my head for us to leave, but she doesn't respond. Susan's shifting grabs our attention, as she turns around to face us. "Okay, I know I interrupted something, but I didn't know you two were this into each other." Her eyes dart between me and Abby.
"That's cause we're not." Abby fibs, great, here we go again. More lies, more hiding. Not that I don't love it, Abby, but I just want to be with you, why can't you let me be with you? I roll my eyes at her, and she manages to bite her tongue, just as it makes its way between her two lips. "We're just friends." She shrugs turning to Susan.
"No, Carter and I are just friends. You two, well, I'm not sure what the hell you two are." Susan's right, we aren't 'just friends.' We can never be 'just friends,' not after this, not after four kisses. Hell, we couldn't even after the first. Its impossible. We're impossible. Abby, shrugs Susan off, yet again, and dashes towards the door, running out of here, as fast as her tiny hooves will take her. I've never been one for complicated relationships, but I think I'm knee deep in one, and I keep on digging myself further, and further into the grave. Susan turns to me after a second of silence, after she has fully formulated a way to quiz me on Abby and I. She will come up with some slick way of asking, beating around the bush, so to speak.
"So are you guys a couple?" Or maybe not.
"Uh-" Is all I can say, she thinks I'm hiding it from her, trying to keep her in the dark. Well, no. Not in this case. Maybe with other things, like the time Sebastian broke the head off of her favourite childhood doll. But this river runs deeper then broken dolls.
"Come on Carter, you were caught making out with my best friend. The day before your blind date with my other friend." I look at her, she actually set that up? I actually have to go out with this women. She obviously catches my hesitance. "Don't worry I'm calling it off now." She says bitterly, I look at her for a moment, she glares back at me.
"What?" Scoffing, she sits down at the table. I join her, wanting to know what the problem is. For some reason I thought she would be happy, over joy, thrilled.
"Look, its just-" I motion with my hands to continue. "You two have both been through so much. Your wife has died. Her child hood was hell, so was yours. Its just, I don't know- I- You're my two best friends. And thought of either one of you getting hurt scares the hell out of me. The thought of you hurting each other-" She grimaces, as she continues her ramblings. "Its not right John. You have two little children to think about. She has her whole fu-" I shake my head, its not like that. Its not like that at all. I need her, I just- I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. I don't know what I will do with out her. "Are you sure you're not just using each other." This grabs my attention completely. Using? "Yeah, for support. No real attraction, just something, or rather, someone, to hold onto." I stare at her, well, its not that way for me. If it was that way for me, I would have grabbed onto someone long before now. I've had the chance, but I can't speak for Abby. Right now, I wish I could. Susan words flood me, they take me over completely. It can't be true, but hell, maybe it could. Susan stares at me, as I focus on anything but her. I try washing the words out, forgetting them. It doesn't work like that. She keeps pushing me away, but she keeps bringing me back. Back, for what reason? For support, knowing I'll always be there, she doesn't really need me. She just needs someone to hang onto. Great, this is the last thing I need. My eyes meet Susan's once again, and she smiles weakly. Yeah, thanks a lot Susan. I push past her and out the door. I spot Abby immediately, the only thing I can think of to do is grab her, so I do exactly that. She looks thrown off at first, but this doesn't stop me. I can feel eyes on me, I don't care. I drag her into the exam room, throwing her to the side. My violent outburst seems to surprise her.
"What the hell John." She says shakily, trying to compose herself. I stare at her, our eyes meet for a brief moment, before she tears hers away, focusing on some miniscule thing in the corner. She looks nervous and comfortable, two things she's never really been in front of me. My stomach churns, I know I can only do one thing; confront her.
"Why are you doing this?" My voice comes out harsher then intended, she gives me a questioning look in response, so I continue on. "Are you just using me? Means of support, when you get weak. Someone to hold onto?" I spit the words at her. She shrugs at me, in a guilty manner. I shake my head, the pain taking me over. I guess I should have listened to myself from the beginning. I am knee deep in her, somehow I have to get away. Dig myself out of the hole.
"John-" Her voice comes out soothingly, she tries to continue, but I can't let her. I throw the door open, and leave. Completely. I run out of the hospital, the fall air hitting me smack in the face. I try to breathe, but I can't. I can't breathe anymore. I can't think. Nothing is clear, everything is muddled, hazed. I can't see straight, I don't know what's going on anymore. Everything that was once clear, focused, has now been blurred, taken out of view. I stand there for what seems like ages, people rushing past, none having any real affect on me. I try to breathe, I can't. My body feels tight, the world spins around me. Everything comes crashing down, all at once. I never should have come back here. I never should have let Rebecca leave the house that day. I never should have met Abby. I never should have invited her over that day. I never should have kissed her. I never should have cared... I never...
~*~
"You're home!" Maddie leaps up into my arms. I clutch her tiny body close to me, as she rambles into my ear about her exciting day. I carry her into the kitchen, setting her down on the counter as I rifle through the fridge. Nothing catching my attention. Nothing looking appealing. The only appealing thing is my bed for the rest of my life. Never leaving again. I try to forget Abby, every where I look I seem to see her. Including my own fridge. Where Sebastian had drawn a picture of the family, and it includes her. I stare at it for a moment, her hand in mine. Even a child's drawing can make me see how foolish I was. To think anything could have happened, I should have known better. "Daddy-" Maddie sings. I look at her, her face in mine. I smile grimly at her. "Seb made the picture." I carry her out of the kitchen, saying good bye to the babysitter on the way to her room. Laying her down on the bed, she pulls me down for one last hug, and I leave the room letting her sleep.
I run my fingers through my hair, as I walk down the stairs. I can't get her off my mind. She consumes me, the way she smiles, how she bites her bottom lip when she gets nervous, or is trying to fight back her tears. I shake my head, trying to dispose of any Abby like thoughts. Its hopeless. Maybe I'm giving up on her, giving up on us. Well, that is what she will assume. I just don't know anymore. I thought that it would be harder then this, to get back into the dating world, so to speak. To find someone. I walk into the kitchen, preparing to attack the huge stack of charts, that has cumulated in front of me, the doorbell rings, putting my plans on hold. I drag myself there, swinging the door open.
"Abby." She smiles at me. Not her usual shy smile, a huge flirty smile. I look at her for a second not really sure what's going on here.
"Hey... Carter." She pushes past me, her finger runs along my chest, her eyes sparkle. Her voice, low and seductive. What the hell? This isn't the Abby I know. The Abby who would shove me off of her. I watch as she bites on her lip, then smiles again.
"What are you doing here, Abby?" She closes the distance in between us, moving her hands to my chest, once again. She slowly undoes my buttons, looking at me seductively. I watch her, her eyes glisten up at me. Okay, she is definitely different. Slowly she moves her lips up to mine, she presses hers against me, slowly parting my lips with her tongue. Ah, that's what's different. I move my hands to her waist, and pull her off of me. She looks at me puzzled. "You're drunk." I sigh, everything is coming together now. What, does she have to be drunk to want to be with me?
"I thought this is what you wanted?" Her hands find my belt buckle, I move my hands down to her wrist, stopping her from going any further.
"And this is exactly what you don't want."
~Review Responses~
Kayla- Heh, well we can't have them get together too easily. I'm flattered you think our story is great :)...
x-dramaqueen-x- LOL, we try to update everyday.
Jessie- Hey, Yeah, we mostly do AU stories, although we did do one together, thats still inm progress called bittersweet regrets.
Glad you're liking the fic.
Kayla- They're could be more of those ;)
smilez4eva- We might get into Maddie a little more... Not really sure.
smilez4eva- Hmmm... Abby crumbling.. it could happen lol.
JanBry- Yay... Tense is good. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Fran- Haha, I'm glad you got a kick outta us torturing carter... its fun:D... Don't worry we will slowly get into each and every aspect of their lives... Probably a bit more into why Maddies a little terror too...
march- Happy Abby is coming soon to a theatre near you!!!:P
Kayla- Thank yah:D...
~Preview~
Except it would be nice if he wasn't standing a few feet away from me in a towel and soaking wet. The droplets of water drip down his toned body and I can name a few hundred positions we can try on these silk sheets.
Chapter Fifteen
I refuse to break the kiss, the connection I have to this women is unbelievable... I haven't felt this way about anyone since, Rebecca. I bring my hand up to her face, brushing my fingers across her cheek lightly. I feel her grip her fingers around my neck, gaining easier access to my mouth. I stand up a bit, leaning against the table. Her tongue plays across my lips, I oblige, astonished that she hasn't pushed me away yet. Her tongue ventures further into my mouth, I begin to stand up, she follows suit, as we deepen the kiss...
"Holy shit!" Suddenly I'm being pushed off of her, not with tons of force, but enough to send me back a bit. We both snap our heads to the side, to see an open mouth Susan, staring at us in disbelief. Abby walks further away from me. She is pushing herself away, both physically and emotionally.
"I can explain-" Abby stammers quickly, Susan brushes it off by walking over to the fridge and opening it up.
"Meh, don't worry about it. People kiss." Her voice laced with scepticism, I know I'll be getting the third degree later, as will Abby, I presume. Abby stares at her for a second longer, tension filling the room, like hot air filling a balloon. I can sense she is getting ready to bolt, its what she does best, hell, its what I do best. She quickly turns, to look at me, Susan back is still too us. I eye her suspiciously, noticing every antsy move she makes. She shoves a lock of hair behind her ears, while chewing on her lip. I gesture with my head for us to leave, but she doesn't respond. Susan's shifting grabs our attention, as she turns around to face us. "Okay, I know I interrupted something, but I didn't know you two were this into each other." Her eyes dart between me and Abby.
"That's cause we're not." Abby fibs, great, here we go again. More lies, more hiding. Not that I don't love it, Abby, but I just want to be with you, why can't you let me be with you? I roll my eyes at her, and she manages to bite her tongue, just as it makes its way between her two lips. "We're just friends." She shrugs turning to Susan.
"No, Carter and I are just friends. You two, well, I'm not sure what the hell you two are." Susan's right, we aren't 'just friends.' We can never be 'just friends,' not after this, not after four kisses. Hell, we couldn't even after the first. Its impossible. We're impossible. Abby, shrugs Susan off, yet again, and dashes towards the door, running out of here, as fast as her tiny hooves will take her. I've never been one for complicated relationships, but I think I'm knee deep in one, and I keep on digging myself further, and further into the grave. Susan turns to me after a second of silence, after she has fully formulated a way to quiz me on Abby and I. She will come up with some slick way of asking, beating around the bush, so to speak.
"So are you guys a couple?" Or maybe not.
"Uh-" Is all I can say, she thinks I'm hiding it from her, trying to keep her in the dark. Well, no. Not in this case. Maybe with other things, like the time Sebastian broke the head off of her favourite childhood doll. But this river runs deeper then broken dolls.
"Come on Carter, you were caught making out with my best friend. The day before your blind date with my other friend." I look at her, she actually set that up? I actually have to go out with this women. She obviously catches my hesitance. "Don't worry I'm calling it off now." She says bitterly, I look at her for a moment, she glares back at me.
"What?" Scoffing, she sits down at the table. I join her, wanting to know what the problem is. For some reason I thought she would be happy, over joy, thrilled.
"Look, its just-" I motion with my hands to continue. "You two have both been through so much. Your wife has died. Her child hood was hell, so was yours. Its just, I don't know- I- You're my two best friends. And thought of either one of you getting hurt scares the hell out of me. The thought of you hurting each other-" She grimaces, as she continues her ramblings. "Its not right John. You have two little children to think about. She has her whole fu-" I shake my head, its not like that. Its not like that at all. I need her, I just- I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. I don't know what I will do with out her. "Are you sure you're not just using each other." This grabs my attention completely. Using? "Yeah, for support. No real attraction, just something, or rather, someone, to hold onto." I stare at her, well, its not that way for me. If it was that way for me, I would have grabbed onto someone long before now. I've had the chance, but I can't speak for Abby. Right now, I wish I could. Susan words flood me, they take me over completely. It can't be true, but hell, maybe it could. Susan stares at me, as I focus on anything but her. I try washing the words out, forgetting them. It doesn't work like that. She keeps pushing me away, but she keeps bringing me back. Back, for what reason? For support, knowing I'll always be there, she doesn't really need me. She just needs someone to hang onto. Great, this is the last thing I need. My eyes meet Susan's once again, and she smiles weakly. Yeah, thanks a lot Susan. I push past her and out the door. I spot Abby immediately, the only thing I can think of to do is grab her, so I do exactly that. She looks thrown off at first, but this doesn't stop me. I can feel eyes on me, I don't care. I drag her into the exam room, throwing her to the side. My violent outburst seems to surprise her.
"What the hell John." She says shakily, trying to compose herself. I stare at her, our eyes meet for a brief moment, before she tears hers away, focusing on some miniscule thing in the corner. She looks nervous and comfortable, two things she's never really been in front of me. My stomach churns, I know I can only do one thing; confront her.
"Why are you doing this?" My voice comes out harsher then intended, she gives me a questioning look in response, so I continue on. "Are you just using me? Means of support, when you get weak. Someone to hold onto?" I spit the words at her. She shrugs at me, in a guilty manner. I shake my head, the pain taking me over. I guess I should have listened to myself from the beginning. I am knee deep in her, somehow I have to get away. Dig myself out of the hole.
"John-" Her voice comes out soothingly, she tries to continue, but I can't let her. I throw the door open, and leave. Completely. I run out of the hospital, the fall air hitting me smack in the face. I try to breathe, but I can't. I can't breathe anymore. I can't think. Nothing is clear, everything is muddled, hazed. I can't see straight, I don't know what's going on anymore. Everything that was once clear, focused, has now been blurred, taken out of view. I stand there for what seems like ages, people rushing past, none having any real affect on me. I try to breathe, I can't. My body feels tight, the world spins around me. Everything comes crashing down, all at once. I never should have come back here. I never should have let Rebecca leave the house that day. I never should have met Abby. I never should have invited her over that day. I never should have kissed her. I never should have cared... I never...
~*~
"You're home!" Maddie leaps up into my arms. I clutch her tiny body close to me, as she rambles into my ear about her exciting day. I carry her into the kitchen, setting her down on the counter as I rifle through the fridge. Nothing catching my attention. Nothing looking appealing. The only appealing thing is my bed for the rest of my life. Never leaving again. I try to forget Abby, every where I look I seem to see her. Including my own fridge. Where Sebastian had drawn a picture of the family, and it includes her. I stare at it for a moment, her hand in mine. Even a child's drawing can make me see how foolish I was. To think anything could have happened, I should have known better. "Daddy-" Maddie sings. I look at her, her face in mine. I smile grimly at her. "Seb made the picture." I carry her out of the kitchen, saying good bye to the babysitter on the way to her room. Laying her down on the bed, she pulls me down for one last hug, and I leave the room letting her sleep.
I run my fingers through my hair, as I walk down the stairs. I can't get her off my mind. She consumes me, the way she smiles, how she bites her bottom lip when she gets nervous, or is trying to fight back her tears. I shake my head, trying to dispose of any Abby like thoughts. Its hopeless. Maybe I'm giving up on her, giving up on us. Well, that is what she will assume. I just don't know anymore. I thought that it would be harder then this, to get back into the dating world, so to speak. To find someone. I walk into the kitchen, preparing to attack the huge stack of charts, that has cumulated in front of me, the doorbell rings, putting my plans on hold. I drag myself there, swinging the door open.
"Abby." She smiles at me. Not her usual shy smile, a huge flirty smile. I look at her for a second not really sure what's going on here.
"Hey... Carter." She pushes past me, her finger runs along my chest, her eyes sparkle. Her voice, low and seductive. What the hell? This isn't the Abby I know. The Abby who would shove me off of her. I watch as she bites on her lip, then smiles again.
"What are you doing here, Abby?" She closes the distance in between us, moving her hands to my chest, once again. She slowly undoes my buttons, looking at me seductively. I watch her, her eyes glisten up at me. Okay, she is definitely different. Slowly she moves her lips up to mine, she presses hers against me, slowly parting my lips with her tongue. Ah, that's what's different. I move my hands to her waist, and pull her off of me. She looks at me puzzled. "You're drunk." I sigh, everything is coming together now. What, does she have to be drunk to want to be with me?
"I thought this is what you wanted?" Her hands find my belt buckle, I move my hands down to her wrist, stopping her from going any further.
"And this is exactly what you don't want."
~Review Responses~
Kayla- Heh, well we can't have them get together too easily. I'm flattered you think our story is great :)...
x-dramaqueen-x- LOL, we try to update everyday.
Jessie- Hey, Yeah, we mostly do AU stories, although we did do one together, thats still inm progress called bittersweet regrets.
Glad you're liking the fic.
Kayla- They're could be more of those ;)
smilez4eva- We might get into Maddie a little more... Not really sure.
smilez4eva- Hmmm... Abby crumbling.. it could happen lol.
JanBry- Yay... Tense is good. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Fran- Haha, I'm glad you got a kick outta us torturing carter... its fun:D... Don't worry we will slowly get into each and every aspect of their lives... Probably a bit more into why Maddies a little terror too...
march- Happy Abby is coming soon to a theatre near you!!!:P
Kayla- Thank yah:D...
~Preview~
Except it would be nice if he wasn't standing a few feet away from me in a towel and soaking wet. The droplets of water drip down his toned body and I can name a few hundred positions we can try on these silk sheets.