Where Nothing is Clear
Ch. 8
By Ginny
Jed was awake a little after 6 the next morning. He was feeling pretty good. His could tell his fever was pretty much gone and his ears didn't hurt too much. But when he stood up he realized rather quickly that he was still unsteady on his feet. He sighed heavily as he headed for the bathroom.
Abbey woke up when she heard the bathroom door close. She rolled over and listened to figure out if Jed was just using the bathroom. When he emerged a few minutes later he flashed a weak grin as he did his best to walk normally from the doorway to the bed. He wasn't exactly successful as he had to reach out and touch every piece of furniture along the way.
"I guess we have our answer," Jed muttered, knowing that with the unsteadiness lingering on after his temperature had returned to normal it was a good assumption that he was dealing with an "episode". Abbey just nodded as she felt his forehead, confirming his fever was gone.
"Dizzy?"
"Sort of. More unsteady I guess. But I can't face another day of resting around here," he said as he threw on his bathrobe.
"OK, how about we make breakfast, go to Mass and then decide what to do?" Abbey suggested as she reached for her own robe. "We'll just take things slow, ok?
"Deal," said Jed as he turned to head downstairs.
After a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, which they made for themselves, Jed and Abbey headed for Mass. They left the security people behind, preferring to just go out alone. They went to 8:00 Mass at The Church of St. Mary, otherwise known as Our Lady of the Isle. It was beautiful old church and they always enjoyed attending there.
They got to the church just a few minutes before 8, slipping into a pew in the back. As it was early on a rather chilly fall morning the church was not very crowded. Abbey was happy to see Jed smiling, something he hadn't done much of during the previous few days. The hymns and responses were familiar, so he didn't need to read anything. She cast a glance in his direction when it came time for communion wanting to make sure he was steady enough to make his way up the aisle to receive. He gave a little nod of his head as he stepped out in the aisle. He walked close to the pews, resting his hand on every second or third one as he made his way towards the altar. He took the host, sipped the wine and turned to head back up the side aisle. The host didn't quite go down the right way and he started to cough a little. Abbey moved to walk next to him, putting her hand on his back. "Are you ok?" she asked as he stumbled a bit.
Jed just shook his head a little and allowed Abbey to lead him out the door of the sanctuary into a side hallway. They stopped at a water fountain so Jed could get a drink. It didn't help much, he was still coughing. Abbey led him to a bench at the end of the hallway. "Sit," she said as she opened her purse. Once in a while, mainly during an episode, Jed would have trouble eating and would gag on his food. He had the biggest problem with eating rice; he'd basically given up on trying. Abbey dug around looking for the Albuterol inhaler she kept with her for occasions just like this. The more Jed coughed the worse it got, the inhaler worked to relax his throat a little and allowed him to catch his breath and stop coughing. Abbey shook the inhaler and pulled off the cap. With one hand on Jed's shoulder she leaned over and whispered to him, trying to calm him down. "Honey, take a deep breath and exhale," she said. When he did she handed him the inhaler. He took a slow deep breath as he pushed down the plunger. "Good, hold it," Abbey coached as she rubbed his back. He held it for a few seconds and took the inhaler out of his mouth. Abbey rubbed his back for a few more minutes while he calmed down. He took another puff of the Albuterol before handing the inhaler back to her. "Better?" asked Abbey a few minutes later. Jed nodded and leaned back, resting his head against the wall.
"Well, that was dramatic," Jed muttered, talking for the first time since receiving communion.
"Hey, but you managed not to make a scene in front of everyone. I don't think your picture will end up on the cover of The Inquirer and Mirror," Abbey teased as she reached over to wipe away the little tears that were at the corners of Jed's eyes. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," muttered Jed as he stood up slowly, getting his bearings before attempting to walk. By that time Mass had ended and people were starting to stream out of the sanctuary. Jed took some time to shake the hands of a few people who recognized him. Both he and Abbey talked to the priest for a few minutes and headed back to the car a little after 9.
After returning to the house after church Abbey called each of the girls, as was her custom every Sunday. She told them each about Jed's episode but didn't linger over the details and they didn't press her for the gory details. She assured them that he would be fine in a few days. Jed talked to each of them for a few minutes as they were eager to actually hear his voice.
Abbey made tea and they sat at the kitchen table working on the Sunday crossword puzzle. Abbey read and wrote while Jed supplied most of the answers. She had some things on her mind and was trying to figure out the best way to broach them. When their progress on the puzzle slowed Abbey poured more tea and pushed the puzzle aside.
"Time to talk?" guessed Jed with a weary smile. Abbey nodded as she took a sip of her tea. "Well, we might as well get comfortable," muttered Jed as he motioned towards the living room. They settled down on opposite ends of the couch. Abbey tucked her feet under her and turned sideways to face her husband. Jed kicked off his shoes, pulled off his tie and untucked his shirt. "You first," he said gesturing towards Abbey.
"Why do you want to do this?" Abbey asked simply. Her question caught Jed off guard in a way it wasn't meant to. In all the conversations the two of them had had over the past few months Jed had never really come up with an answer to the simple question----Why do you want to be President?
"What do you mean why do I want to do this? It's...it's what I want. It's what's next. I've been a Congressman and a Governor, this is what comes next."
"Jed, if running for President is what follows Governor then there would be an awful lot of people running right now. So far there's Hoynes and Wiley," Abbey pointed out. "Is it really what you want?" Abbey asked firmly. Jed just stared at her, not really sure where she was going with her line of questioning. "I want to make sure you're doing this because you want to do it, not out of some sort of family obligation."
"Family obligation?"
"Maybe obligation was the wrong word. I just don't want you to do this because of who you are, because of the Bartlet name."
"That's not why I'm doing it."
"OK, what about Leo?" asked Abbey as she tentatively reached to touch his shoulder. He flinched a little and she pulled her hand back.
"What about him?"
"It was his idea. Are you doing it to please him?"
"No," Jed said forcefully. "I want this. I want to be President," he repeated.
"And you're not trying to prove anything?"
"Like what?" Jed muttered, knowing full well what Abbey was getting at.
"To prove that you can...that you're capable of...capable of enduring a Presidential campaign despite...," her voice trailed off before she could complete the sentence.
"Say it," Jed urged quietly.
"Despite having MS," she whispered
A near silence came over the room. The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the mantle for what seemed like an eternity. Abbey reached out again to make contact with Jed and this time he didn't recoil. She rubbed the back of his neck trying to release some of the tension she could feel radiating off of him.
"Yeah, that could have something to do with it," admitted Jed with a sigh. He dropped his head to his chest, trying to stretch out his neck muscles.
"Turn around I'll rub your neck," she said as she made a circling motion with her fingers.
"If I don't do this then what's left?" Jed asked as he closed his eyes and leaned into Abbey's touch.
"Jed, you're 56 years old, you aren't exactly ready for the old age home. You could teach, you could write. And yes, you could just retire to the farm, enjoy your grandchildren and..and I don't know, garden or something. Any of those are just fine with me. I just want you to be happy."
"I know. And running for President is what's going to make me happy right now."
"OK," Abbey remarked simply as she continued to loosen up the muscles in Jed's neck and shoulders. She could feel him slowly starting to relax.
"OK?" he asked, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn't he relaxed even further. Abbey moved to the corner of the couch, pulling Jed back against her. She rested her chin on the top of his head and reached to unbutton his white dress shirt. "Uh Abbey," Jed muttered as she ran her fingers through hair on his chest. Although the hair was graying Abbey still found it incredibly sexy.
"What sweetie," she all but purred in his ear. Jed gulped hard.
"Nothing," he gasped as her hands reached down to undo his belt. "I'm feeling better, by the way," he said with a smirk.
"Good," muttered Abbey.
"But I'm not up to doing this on the couch," he said as he sat up. He held out his hand and pulled Abbey to her feet. They headed upstairs, both of them feeling better than they had in days.
Ch. 8
By Ginny
Jed was awake a little after 6 the next morning. He was feeling pretty good. His could tell his fever was pretty much gone and his ears didn't hurt too much. But when he stood up he realized rather quickly that he was still unsteady on his feet. He sighed heavily as he headed for the bathroom.
Abbey woke up when she heard the bathroom door close. She rolled over and listened to figure out if Jed was just using the bathroom. When he emerged a few minutes later he flashed a weak grin as he did his best to walk normally from the doorway to the bed. He wasn't exactly successful as he had to reach out and touch every piece of furniture along the way.
"I guess we have our answer," Jed muttered, knowing that with the unsteadiness lingering on after his temperature had returned to normal it was a good assumption that he was dealing with an "episode". Abbey just nodded as she felt his forehead, confirming his fever was gone.
"Dizzy?"
"Sort of. More unsteady I guess. But I can't face another day of resting around here," he said as he threw on his bathrobe.
"OK, how about we make breakfast, go to Mass and then decide what to do?" Abbey suggested as she reached for her own robe. "We'll just take things slow, ok?
"Deal," said Jed as he turned to head downstairs.
After a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, which they made for themselves, Jed and Abbey headed for Mass. They left the security people behind, preferring to just go out alone. They went to 8:00 Mass at The Church of St. Mary, otherwise known as Our Lady of the Isle. It was beautiful old church and they always enjoyed attending there.
They got to the church just a few minutes before 8, slipping into a pew in the back. As it was early on a rather chilly fall morning the church was not very crowded. Abbey was happy to see Jed smiling, something he hadn't done much of during the previous few days. The hymns and responses were familiar, so he didn't need to read anything. She cast a glance in his direction when it came time for communion wanting to make sure he was steady enough to make his way up the aisle to receive. He gave a little nod of his head as he stepped out in the aisle. He walked close to the pews, resting his hand on every second or third one as he made his way towards the altar. He took the host, sipped the wine and turned to head back up the side aisle. The host didn't quite go down the right way and he started to cough a little. Abbey moved to walk next to him, putting her hand on his back. "Are you ok?" she asked as he stumbled a bit.
Jed just shook his head a little and allowed Abbey to lead him out the door of the sanctuary into a side hallway. They stopped at a water fountain so Jed could get a drink. It didn't help much, he was still coughing. Abbey led him to a bench at the end of the hallway. "Sit," she said as she opened her purse. Once in a while, mainly during an episode, Jed would have trouble eating and would gag on his food. He had the biggest problem with eating rice; he'd basically given up on trying. Abbey dug around looking for the Albuterol inhaler she kept with her for occasions just like this. The more Jed coughed the worse it got, the inhaler worked to relax his throat a little and allowed him to catch his breath and stop coughing. Abbey shook the inhaler and pulled off the cap. With one hand on Jed's shoulder she leaned over and whispered to him, trying to calm him down. "Honey, take a deep breath and exhale," she said. When he did she handed him the inhaler. He took a slow deep breath as he pushed down the plunger. "Good, hold it," Abbey coached as she rubbed his back. He held it for a few seconds and took the inhaler out of his mouth. Abbey rubbed his back for a few more minutes while he calmed down. He took another puff of the Albuterol before handing the inhaler back to her. "Better?" asked Abbey a few minutes later. Jed nodded and leaned back, resting his head against the wall.
"Well, that was dramatic," Jed muttered, talking for the first time since receiving communion.
"Hey, but you managed not to make a scene in front of everyone. I don't think your picture will end up on the cover of The Inquirer and Mirror," Abbey teased as she reached over to wipe away the little tears that were at the corners of Jed's eyes. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," muttered Jed as he stood up slowly, getting his bearings before attempting to walk. By that time Mass had ended and people were starting to stream out of the sanctuary. Jed took some time to shake the hands of a few people who recognized him. Both he and Abbey talked to the priest for a few minutes and headed back to the car a little after 9.
After returning to the house after church Abbey called each of the girls, as was her custom every Sunday. She told them each about Jed's episode but didn't linger over the details and they didn't press her for the gory details. She assured them that he would be fine in a few days. Jed talked to each of them for a few minutes as they were eager to actually hear his voice.
Abbey made tea and they sat at the kitchen table working on the Sunday crossword puzzle. Abbey read and wrote while Jed supplied most of the answers. She had some things on her mind and was trying to figure out the best way to broach them. When their progress on the puzzle slowed Abbey poured more tea and pushed the puzzle aside.
"Time to talk?" guessed Jed with a weary smile. Abbey nodded as she took a sip of her tea. "Well, we might as well get comfortable," muttered Jed as he motioned towards the living room. They settled down on opposite ends of the couch. Abbey tucked her feet under her and turned sideways to face her husband. Jed kicked off his shoes, pulled off his tie and untucked his shirt. "You first," he said gesturing towards Abbey.
"Why do you want to do this?" Abbey asked simply. Her question caught Jed off guard in a way it wasn't meant to. In all the conversations the two of them had had over the past few months Jed had never really come up with an answer to the simple question----Why do you want to be President?
"What do you mean why do I want to do this? It's...it's what I want. It's what's next. I've been a Congressman and a Governor, this is what comes next."
"Jed, if running for President is what follows Governor then there would be an awful lot of people running right now. So far there's Hoynes and Wiley," Abbey pointed out. "Is it really what you want?" Abbey asked firmly. Jed just stared at her, not really sure where she was going with her line of questioning. "I want to make sure you're doing this because you want to do it, not out of some sort of family obligation."
"Family obligation?"
"Maybe obligation was the wrong word. I just don't want you to do this because of who you are, because of the Bartlet name."
"That's not why I'm doing it."
"OK, what about Leo?" asked Abbey as she tentatively reached to touch his shoulder. He flinched a little and she pulled her hand back.
"What about him?"
"It was his idea. Are you doing it to please him?"
"No," Jed said forcefully. "I want this. I want to be President," he repeated.
"And you're not trying to prove anything?"
"Like what?" Jed muttered, knowing full well what Abbey was getting at.
"To prove that you can...that you're capable of...capable of enduring a Presidential campaign despite...," her voice trailed off before she could complete the sentence.
"Say it," Jed urged quietly.
"Despite having MS," she whispered
A near silence came over the room. The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the mantle for what seemed like an eternity. Abbey reached out again to make contact with Jed and this time he didn't recoil. She rubbed the back of his neck trying to release some of the tension she could feel radiating off of him.
"Yeah, that could have something to do with it," admitted Jed with a sigh. He dropped his head to his chest, trying to stretch out his neck muscles.
"Turn around I'll rub your neck," she said as she made a circling motion with her fingers.
"If I don't do this then what's left?" Jed asked as he closed his eyes and leaned into Abbey's touch.
"Jed, you're 56 years old, you aren't exactly ready for the old age home. You could teach, you could write. And yes, you could just retire to the farm, enjoy your grandchildren and..and I don't know, garden or something. Any of those are just fine with me. I just want you to be happy."
"I know. And running for President is what's going to make me happy right now."
"OK," Abbey remarked simply as she continued to loosen up the muscles in Jed's neck and shoulders. She could feel him slowly starting to relax.
"OK?" he asked, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn't he relaxed even further. Abbey moved to the corner of the couch, pulling Jed back against her. She rested her chin on the top of his head and reached to unbutton his white dress shirt. "Uh Abbey," Jed muttered as she ran her fingers through hair on his chest. Although the hair was graying Abbey still found it incredibly sexy.
"What sweetie," she all but purred in his ear. Jed gulped hard.
"Nothing," he gasped as her hands reached down to undo his belt. "I'm feeling better, by the way," he said with a smirk.
"Good," muttered Abbey.
"But I'm not up to doing this on the couch," he said as he sat up. He held out his hand and pulled Abbey to her feet. They headed upstairs, both of them feeling better than they had in days.