A Bloody… Parody? Soul Reaver
Chapter Four: The Future Nosgoth
After five months of physical therapy, Raziel is finally well enough to continue on his quest. He emerges from a door and finds himself before the ruins of the once glorious Sanctuary of the clans.
RAZIEL: My God… The Sanctuary of the Clans, reduced to ruin… Beyond these wall lay the pillars of Nosgoth, the seat of Kain's empire. How humble it now appeared, collapsing into the dust of its former magnificence. And yet I had only just emerged… In the moment between my execution and resurrection, centuries had apparently passed…
EG: This world is wracked with cataclysms - the earth strains to shrug off the pestilence of Kain's parasitic empire. The fate of this world was preordained in an instant, by a solitary man. Unwilling to martyr himself to restore Nosgoth's balance, Kain condemned the world to the decay you see. In that moment, the unraveling began… now it is nearly played out. Nosgoth teeters on the brink of collapse - it's fragile balance cannot hold.
With both their little speeches complete, Raziel stands in place as if expecting something. He looks around suspiciously. Soon, he grows impatient, then paranoid, and finally completely panic-stricken.
EG: What is wrong Raziel?
RAZIEL: Haven't you noticed that whenever there's a long line of dialogue Mikoto usually does something to make me either say or do something incredibly stupid to humiliate myself?
EG: And here I thought you were fully capable of doing that on your own. Are you saying you're THAT pathetic that you need Mikoto's help even when trying to look stupid?
RAZIEL: (defensively) NO! I can make myself look stupid without her help! See! Watch this!
Raziel takes about fifty paces away from the Sanctuary doors and begins to stretch his legs.
RAZIEL: The doors of the Sanctuary were immovable, either barred from the inside or rusted shut. I would need to find another means of entry.
At that, Raziel charges towards the doors like an irate bull. Moving incredibly fast, he rams into the doors, head first. Of course, the doors don't budge, and Raziel is thrown backward onto his butt.
RAZIEL: That hurt… :*(
In a hurry, Mikoto comes running up to Raziel.
MIKOTO: (panting) Sorry! I'm late! (pant…wheeze) Did I miss anything?
RAZIEL: (standing up) No! No! You didn't miss anything!
EG: (snicker) Yeah, right!
RAZIEL: No, I was just on my way to… the Abyss! Yeah, that's right! I was just thinking about heading over there!
EG: And when did you get THAT bright idea? Was it before, or after, you smacked your head into a three-foot-thick iron door at running speed?
RAZIEL: Shut up!
MIKOTO: (curious) You really did that, Raziel?
RAZIEL: Uh, well…
MIKOTO: (getting upset) You mean, you made a fool of yourself WITHOUT my help?
RAZIEL: (sheepishly) Yeah…
MIKOTO: (very upset) But, if you can manage to do that without me, then I no longer have any purpose! My life is meaningless now! I'm going to go throw myself into the Abyss! Farewell, Raziel! (fades away)
When Mikoto vanishes, Raziel takes a comfortable seat on a nearby rock and begins to polish his claws. When it is apparent that he does not intend to move any time soon, the EG interrupts him.
EG: Aren't you gonna go after her?
RAZIEL: Hell NO! The sooner that girl is out of my hair, the better!
EG: You're not even going to watch her jump?
RAZIEL: (stands up) Oh yeah! That'll probably be the best thing I'll see for a long time to come!
Raziel hurriedly runs towards the abyss. So impatient to see Mikoto's demise, he doesn't even bother to fight off the wandering Dumahim. In his haste, he even misses a curious looking door as he runs by it. Emerging at the Abyss, he takes a look around. He carefully crosses the rickety, old bridge and walks to the edge of the cliff.
RAZIEL: This, at least, remained constant. The endlessly swirling vortex of the abyss. My tomb, and the womb of my rebirth.
Raziel rises to his feet, still looking downward into the swirling water.
RAZIEL: Damn, I must have missed her fall…
MIKOTO: TAG! You're it!
Mikoto slams her hands into Raziel's back. He looses his balance and plummets into the Lake of the Dead.
RAZIEL: DAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNN YOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raziel finds himself back at the bottom of the Abyss in the spectral realm.
RAZIEL: I. Hate. Her. SO MUCH!
EG: As my agent, you are beyond death, Raziel. Your enemies cannot destroy you. If you grow too weak, however, you will always be drawn here, to recover.
RAZIEL: (sarcastically) Great… Maybe I WANT to be destroyed. Anything to be rid of Mikoto. Unless… If I can't be destroyed, is it possible to destroy Mikoto?
EG: Doubtful.
RAZIEL: Damn it to hell!
Raziel begins his long hike back out of the underworld. After a few hours, he finally returns to the Abyss. Mikoto is still there waiting for him.
MIKOTO: What took you so long, Raziel? Didn't you use the portal to get back here?
RAZIEL: The what?
MIKOTO: Y'know… the portal… the big t.v. thing? You could've used that to get back here.
RAZIEL: No, I couldn't. The Elder God said I needed to activate other portals first, and I haven't come across any other portals yet.
MIKOTO: You didn't activate the portal for the Abyss back there?
RAZIEL: There's a portal over there?
MIKOTO: Yeah…you mean to tell me you walked all the way back here?
RAZIEL: (annoyed) Yes.
MIKOTO: Haha! That must've sucked!
RAZIEL: Yes, well, now I'm gonna kill you for that!
MIKOTO: Well, before we 'battle to the death', maybe you should go activate that portal in case you end up in the abyss again.
RAZIEL: I don't need the reassurance of the activated portal to kill you. You will be defeated. …But I'll be right back.
MIKOTO: O-kay!
Raziel quickly runs back and finally notices the curious looking door. He activates the portal inside and makes his way back to the abyss. When he gets there, Mikoto is long gone.
RAZIEL: That coward actually ran away! Well, maybe I should continue onward. Now let's see… Though much of Nosgoth's landscape had changed, these cliffs gave me my bearings. My clan territory was to the west - I was anxious to see how my descendents had fared during the centuries of my absence.
Raziel leaps across the cliffs and heads towards his clan lands.
MEANWHILE, in the stronghold of the Razielim…
RAZIELIM #1: Dude, that was some kickin' party last night!
RAZIELIM #2: Man, I was so wasted! I don't even remember what happened!
RAZIELIM #3: Heheh, you were about to go off with a couple of Turelim chicks when their men showed up and beat you unconscious!
RAZIELIM#1: Yeah, it was the funniest thing ever!
RAZIELIM#2: You guys just watched me get thrashed and didn't do anything?
RAZIELIM#3: No, we tried to help…
RAZIELIM#1: Yeah, but the Turelim wouldn't let us have a turn kicking your ass. (snicker)
RAZIELIM#2: You guys suck!
RAZIELIM#3: Hey, who is that blue-dude coming this way?
RAZIELIM#2: He kind of looks like dad, only all like, decayed and blue and stuff…
RAZIELIM#1: (panicked) He doesn't LOOK like him! He IS him! Shit! Kain was right! Dad DID come back!
RAZIELIM#2: Ah, shit! Look at this place! It's a total dump! He's gonna know we've thrown a party!
RAZIELIM#3: Yeah, a party every night since he was killed…
RAZIELIM#2: Heh, remember that night he died? That was the best party of them all! We had almost every vampire in Nosgoth here!
RAZIELIM#3: Yah, and that night when we all got smashed and convinced that human tribe to invade the Dumahim territory!
RAZIELIM#2: Yeah! And they ACTUALLY succeeded in killing off Dumah? That was so cool! The Dumahim were so pissed! They nearly wiped out every human settlement after that!
RAZIELIM#1: Guys! Guys! If dad sees that we've trashed the place, he's gonna kill us! We gotta hide!
All the Razielim run off, leaving the stronghold nearly desolate. Only a few Dumahim remain in sight. They are either too stupid, or too hung over, to realize that all the Razielim have taken off. Raziel enters the court yard of the city. He finds his stronghold in complete ruin. He automatically assumes the worst.
RAZIEL: Utter desolation. My once-proud kin, wiped from this world like excrement from a boot. I knew the hand that wrought this deed…
Raziel strides toward the stronghold's gates. He stops by one of the ruined statues that were once sculpted to his likeness. He pulls down one of many strands of toilet paper that had been strewn all over the vandalized sculpture.
RAZIEL: Hmm… Looks like someone threw a party here… Obviously, Kain must've seen fit to throw a victory celebration in my very own home after murdering off my children… That bastard! If he had left even one of my kin, then at least I'd have someone to clean this place up!
Raziel storms off into this stronghold. He encounters a Dumahim.
DUMAHIM#3: (sitting up) Oh, my head… I'm so hung over… Hey, who are you? I don't remember you at the party last night…
RAZIEL: That's because I wasn't here…
DUMAHIM#3: Oh, man! You missed it? That was one KILLER party!
RAZIEL: (irate) I bet it was…
DUMAHIM#3: Hey, what are you doing? AAUUGGGHHHH!!!
Raziel pounces on the Dumahim. While he is busy slaughtering the vampire, a few of the Razielim peek at him from their hiding places.
RAZIELIM#4: (whispering) Oh, God! He is SO pissed! I knew we shouldn't have let the guys throw all those parties!
RAZIELIM#5: (whispers back) We are SO dead if he ever finds us!
RAZIELIM#4: Shh! Quiet! Here he comes!
Raziel strides past, heading towards the opposite end of the stronghold. Up ahead, a Razielim and a Dumahim fight over a hiding spot in a crack in the wall.
DUMAHIM#4: This is MY hiding spot! I was here first!
RAZIELIM#6: Tough luck, pal. You're in my home, so I get first dibs on this spot!
DUMAHIM#4: C'mon! There's enough room in there for both of us!
RAZIELIM#6: Yeah, well, you smell bad! You'll stink it up in here!
DUMAHIM#4: No I won't!
RAZIELIM#6: (points behind Dumahim) Hey look! It's Martha Stewart!
DUMAHIM#4: Huh? Where?
As the Dumahim turns around, the Razielim pushes him out of the hiding place and into the open, just as Raziel turns the corner. Immediately spotting the Dumahim, Raziel charges after him. The Dumahim sees him coming.
DUMAHIM#4: Ah, crap.
From inside the safety of her hiding spot, the Razielim can hear the sickening sound of metal tearing through flesh, followed by the horrible scream of the Dumahim.
DUMAHIM#4: Oh God! It hurts! Oh! Please! Make it stop!
A second later, thick, coagulating vampire blood violently sprays into the crack and spatters on the wall beside the Razielim's head. The sight and smell causes her to wretch. With the Dumahim disposed of, Raziel heads out of his former city. When they are certain he is gone, all the Razielim come out of hiding. They are all trembling with fear from the aftermath of Raziel's warpath of destruction.
RAZIELIM#7: Wow, dad has totally changed… He's so violent and angry, all because we trashed the 'hold.
RAZIELIM#8: Perhaps we should leave in case he comes back…
RAZIELIM#7: Good idea. You saw how medieval he got on those Dumahim…
RAZIELIM#9: Yeah, and their carcasses are littered all over the place now. I don't know about you, but I'M not cleaning this up…
And so, having a newfound fear of their father, (and having no desire to spend a few decades mopping the blood up off the floors), the Razielim pack up their bags and beer kegs and head off to new lands where they can party carefree for the rest of eternity. And thus, they lived happily ever after. THE END.
RAZIEL: Wait! That isn't the end of the story!
MIKOTO: It's not? (disappointed) Oh, yeah, it's not… So much for the 'happy ending'…
Okay, so the Razielim didn't quite live happily ever after. They traveled to new lands, where they came across the town of Sobriety. In this town, alcohol didn't exist, and the vampires had been suffering severe withdrawal--
RAZIEL: That's not what I meant!
MIKOTO: What's not what you meant?
RAZIEL: MY story! MY story isn't complete yet!
MIKOTO: Oh… I see…
RAZIEL: Well?
MIKOTO: Well what?
RAZIEL: Well, aren't you gonna continue my story?
MIKOTO: Eventually.
RAZIEL: What do you mean, 'eventually'?
MIKOTO: This chapter is over. The story will continue next time…
RAZIEL: Damn you!
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The entire Razielim Stronghold scene ended up way longer than I had intended… And Raziel ended up being a tad on the violent side… Perhaps I should lay off him a bit? Hmm… Naw, I don't think so… Hehehe…
So anyway, my reviews finally showed up five days after you guys posted them! I'm glad you all are enjoying this so far! *hugs everyone*
Chapter Four: The Future Nosgoth
After five months of physical therapy, Raziel is finally well enough to continue on his quest. He emerges from a door and finds himself before the ruins of the once glorious Sanctuary of the clans.
RAZIEL: My God… The Sanctuary of the Clans, reduced to ruin… Beyond these wall lay the pillars of Nosgoth, the seat of Kain's empire. How humble it now appeared, collapsing into the dust of its former magnificence. And yet I had only just emerged… In the moment between my execution and resurrection, centuries had apparently passed…
EG: This world is wracked with cataclysms - the earth strains to shrug off the pestilence of Kain's parasitic empire. The fate of this world was preordained in an instant, by a solitary man. Unwilling to martyr himself to restore Nosgoth's balance, Kain condemned the world to the decay you see. In that moment, the unraveling began… now it is nearly played out. Nosgoth teeters on the brink of collapse - it's fragile balance cannot hold.
With both their little speeches complete, Raziel stands in place as if expecting something. He looks around suspiciously. Soon, he grows impatient, then paranoid, and finally completely panic-stricken.
EG: What is wrong Raziel?
RAZIEL: Haven't you noticed that whenever there's a long line of dialogue Mikoto usually does something to make me either say or do something incredibly stupid to humiliate myself?
EG: And here I thought you were fully capable of doing that on your own. Are you saying you're THAT pathetic that you need Mikoto's help even when trying to look stupid?
RAZIEL: (defensively) NO! I can make myself look stupid without her help! See! Watch this!
Raziel takes about fifty paces away from the Sanctuary doors and begins to stretch his legs.
RAZIEL: The doors of the Sanctuary were immovable, either barred from the inside or rusted shut. I would need to find another means of entry.
At that, Raziel charges towards the doors like an irate bull. Moving incredibly fast, he rams into the doors, head first. Of course, the doors don't budge, and Raziel is thrown backward onto his butt.
RAZIEL: That hurt… :*(
In a hurry, Mikoto comes running up to Raziel.
MIKOTO: (panting) Sorry! I'm late! (pant…wheeze) Did I miss anything?
RAZIEL: (standing up) No! No! You didn't miss anything!
EG: (snicker) Yeah, right!
RAZIEL: No, I was just on my way to… the Abyss! Yeah, that's right! I was just thinking about heading over there!
EG: And when did you get THAT bright idea? Was it before, or after, you smacked your head into a three-foot-thick iron door at running speed?
RAZIEL: Shut up!
MIKOTO: (curious) You really did that, Raziel?
RAZIEL: Uh, well…
MIKOTO: (getting upset) You mean, you made a fool of yourself WITHOUT my help?
RAZIEL: (sheepishly) Yeah…
MIKOTO: (very upset) But, if you can manage to do that without me, then I no longer have any purpose! My life is meaningless now! I'm going to go throw myself into the Abyss! Farewell, Raziel! (fades away)
When Mikoto vanishes, Raziel takes a comfortable seat on a nearby rock and begins to polish his claws. When it is apparent that he does not intend to move any time soon, the EG interrupts him.
EG: Aren't you gonna go after her?
RAZIEL: Hell NO! The sooner that girl is out of my hair, the better!
EG: You're not even going to watch her jump?
RAZIEL: (stands up) Oh yeah! That'll probably be the best thing I'll see for a long time to come!
Raziel hurriedly runs towards the abyss. So impatient to see Mikoto's demise, he doesn't even bother to fight off the wandering Dumahim. In his haste, he even misses a curious looking door as he runs by it. Emerging at the Abyss, he takes a look around. He carefully crosses the rickety, old bridge and walks to the edge of the cliff.
RAZIEL: This, at least, remained constant. The endlessly swirling vortex of the abyss. My tomb, and the womb of my rebirth.
Raziel rises to his feet, still looking downward into the swirling water.
RAZIEL: Damn, I must have missed her fall…
MIKOTO: TAG! You're it!
Mikoto slams her hands into Raziel's back. He looses his balance and plummets into the Lake of the Dead.
RAZIEL: DAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNN YOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raziel finds himself back at the bottom of the Abyss in the spectral realm.
RAZIEL: I. Hate. Her. SO MUCH!
EG: As my agent, you are beyond death, Raziel. Your enemies cannot destroy you. If you grow too weak, however, you will always be drawn here, to recover.
RAZIEL: (sarcastically) Great… Maybe I WANT to be destroyed. Anything to be rid of Mikoto. Unless… If I can't be destroyed, is it possible to destroy Mikoto?
EG: Doubtful.
RAZIEL: Damn it to hell!
Raziel begins his long hike back out of the underworld. After a few hours, he finally returns to the Abyss. Mikoto is still there waiting for him.
MIKOTO: What took you so long, Raziel? Didn't you use the portal to get back here?
RAZIEL: The what?
MIKOTO: Y'know… the portal… the big t.v. thing? You could've used that to get back here.
RAZIEL: No, I couldn't. The Elder God said I needed to activate other portals first, and I haven't come across any other portals yet.
MIKOTO: You didn't activate the portal for the Abyss back there?
RAZIEL: There's a portal over there?
MIKOTO: Yeah…you mean to tell me you walked all the way back here?
RAZIEL: (annoyed) Yes.
MIKOTO: Haha! That must've sucked!
RAZIEL: Yes, well, now I'm gonna kill you for that!
MIKOTO: Well, before we 'battle to the death', maybe you should go activate that portal in case you end up in the abyss again.
RAZIEL: I don't need the reassurance of the activated portal to kill you. You will be defeated. …But I'll be right back.
MIKOTO: O-kay!
Raziel quickly runs back and finally notices the curious looking door. He activates the portal inside and makes his way back to the abyss. When he gets there, Mikoto is long gone.
RAZIEL: That coward actually ran away! Well, maybe I should continue onward. Now let's see… Though much of Nosgoth's landscape had changed, these cliffs gave me my bearings. My clan territory was to the west - I was anxious to see how my descendents had fared during the centuries of my absence.
Raziel leaps across the cliffs and heads towards his clan lands.
MEANWHILE, in the stronghold of the Razielim…
RAZIELIM #1: Dude, that was some kickin' party last night!
RAZIELIM #2: Man, I was so wasted! I don't even remember what happened!
RAZIELIM #3: Heheh, you were about to go off with a couple of Turelim chicks when their men showed up and beat you unconscious!
RAZIELIM#1: Yeah, it was the funniest thing ever!
RAZIELIM#2: You guys just watched me get thrashed and didn't do anything?
RAZIELIM#3: No, we tried to help…
RAZIELIM#1: Yeah, but the Turelim wouldn't let us have a turn kicking your ass. (snicker)
RAZIELIM#2: You guys suck!
RAZIELIM#3: Hey, who is that blue-dude coming this way?
RAZIELIM#2: He kind of looks like dad, only all like, decayed and blue and stuff…
RAZIELIM#1: (panicked) He doesn't LOOK like him! He IS him! Shit! Kain was right! Dad DID come back!
RAZIELIM#2: Ah, shit! Look at this place! It's a total dump! He's gonna know we've thrown a party!
RAZIELIM#3: Yeah, a party every night since he was killed…
RAZIELIM#2: Heh, remember that night he died? That was the best party of them all! We had almost every vampire in Nosgoth here!
RAZIELIM#3: Yah, and that night when we all got smashed and convinced that human tribe to invade the Dumahim territory!
RAZIELIM#2: Yeah! And they ACTUALLY succeeded in killing off Dumah? That was so cool! The Dumahim were so pissed! They nearly wiped out every human settlement after that!
RAZIELIM#1: Guys! Guys! If dad sees that we've trashed the place, he's gonna kill us! We gotta hide!
All the Razielim run off, leaving the stronghold nearly desolate. Only a few Dumahim remain in sight. They are either too stupid, or too hung over, to realize that all the Razielim have taken off. Raziel enters the court yard of the city. He finds his stronghold in complete ruin. He automatically assumes the worst.
RAZIEL: Utter desolation. My once-proud kin, wiped from this world like excrement from a boot. I knew the hand that wrought this deed…
Raziel strides toward the stronghold's gates. He stops by one of the ruined statues that were once sculpted to his likeness. He pulls down one of many strands of toilet paper that had been strewn all over the vandalized sculpture.
RAZIEL: Hmm… Looks like someone threw a party here… Obviously, Kain must've seen fit to throw a victory celebration in my very own home after murdering off my children… That bastard! If he had left even one of my kin, then at least I'd have someone to clean this place up!
Raziel storms off into this stronghold. He encounters a Dumahim.
DUMAHIM#3: (sitting up) Oh, my head… I'm so hung over… Hey, who are you? I don't remember you at the party last night…
RAZIEL: That's because I wasn't here…
DUMAHIM#3: Oh, man! You missed it? That was one KILLER party!
RAZIEL: (irate) I bet it was…
DUMAHIM#3: Hey, what are you doing? AAUUGGGHHHH!!!
Raziel pounces on the Dumahim. While he is busy slaughtering the vampire, a few of the Razielim peek at him from their hiding places.
RAZIELIM#4: (whispering) Oh, God! He is SO pissed! I knew we shouldn't have let the guys throw all those parties!
RAZIELIM#5: (whispers back) We are SO dead if he ever finds us!
RAZIELIM#4: Shh! Quiet! Here he comes!
Raziel strides past, heading towards the opposite end of the stronghold. Up ahead, a Razielim and a Dumahim fight over a hiding spot in a crack in the wall.
DUMAHIM#4: This is MY hiding spot! I was here first!
RAZIELIM#6: Tough luck, pal. You're in my home, so I get first dibs on this spot!
DUMAHIM#4: C'mon! There's enough room in there for both of us!
RAZIELIM#6: Yeah, well, you smell bad! You'll stink it up in here!
DUMAHIM#4: No I won't!
RAZIELIM#6: (points behind Dumahim) Hey look! It's Martha Stewart!
DUMAHIM#4: Huh? Where?
As the Dumahim turns around, the Razielim pushes him out of the hiding place and into the open, just as Raziel turns the corner. Immediately spotting the Dumahim, Raziel charges after him. The Dumahim sees him coming.
DUMAHIM#4: Ah, crap.
From inside the safety of her hiding spot, the Razielim can hear the sickening sound of metal tearing through flesh, followed by the horrible scream of the Dumahim.
DUMAHIM#4: Oh God! It hurts! Oh! Please! Make it stop!
A second later, thick, coagulating vampire blood violently sprays into the crack and spatters on the wall beside the Razielim's head. The sight and smell causes her to wretch. With the Dumahim disposed of, Raziel heads out of his former city. When they are certain he is gone, all the Razielim come out of hiding. They are all trembling with fear from the aftermath of Raziel's warpath of destruction.
RAZIELIM#7: Wow, dad has totally changed… He's so violent and angry, all because we trashed the 'hold.
RAZIELIM#8: Perhaps we should leave in case he comes back…
RAZIELIM#7: Good idea. You saw how medieval he got on those Dumahim…
RAZIELIM#9: Yeah, and their carcasses are littered all over the place now. I don't know about you, but I'M not cleaning this up…
And so, having a newfound fear of their father, (and having no desire to spend a few decades mopping the blood up off the floors), the Razielim pack up their bags and beer kegs and head off to new lands where they can party carefree for the rest of eternity. And thus, they lived happily ever after. THE END.
RAZIEL: Wait! That isn't the end of the story!
MIKOTO: It's not? (disappointed) Oh, yeah, it's not… So much for the 'happy ending'…
Okay, so the Razielim didn't quite live happily ever after. They traveled to new lands, where they came across the town of Sobriety. In this town, alcohol didn't exist, and the vampires had been suffering severe withdrawal--
RAZIEL: That's not what I meant!
MIKOTO: What's not what you meant?
RAZIEL: MY story! MY story isn't complete yet!
MIKOTO: Oh… I see…
RAZIEL: Well?
MIKOTO: Well what?
RAZIEL: Well, aren't you gonna continue my story?
MIKOTO: Eventually.
RAZIEL: What do you mean, 'eventually'?
MIKOTO: This chapter is over. The story will continue next time…
RAZIEL: Damn you!
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The entire Razielim Stronghold scene ended up way longer than I had intended… And Raziel ended up being a tad on the violent side… Perhaps I should lay off him a bit? Hmm… Naw, I don't think so… Hehehe…
So anyway, my reviews finally showed up five days after you guys posted them! I'm glad you all are enjoying this so far! *hugs everyone*