Authors Note- Sorry about the lack of updates recently. I was away, and my computer is screwed up... So I'm sorry... The updates could be rare this week.. Maybe one or two, depending on my computer.. I have no review responses in this one, I while try my best (no promises) to get some up for the next chapter... Tahnks for them all though!!!
Chapter Eighteen
The rain suddenly comes pounding down, as if all of it was being held together and someone pulled a cord. The lighting crashing, thunder booming, hail pounding down. A sign from the heavens that I'm not supposed to be here at all. The wind rips at everything, making the world around me move from its stable position. The rain suddenly turns to a mix of hail and water, ever drop falling faster and faster biting into my bare skin. I feel a hand grab me from behind, burning into my skin, trying to hurt me more than the forces ever could. He doesn't want me in his life. It's okay with me. He wants me completely gone. I understand. I'm far from blaming him. His grip on me tightens by the second, but the water helps me get away from him. Helps cleanse me of his touch, his taste, him. The lighting cracks sending a stream of light through the sky, making the world suddenly go dark. I feel the scars and bruises forming on my arm from his touch, the blood mixes with the rain and washes down the stream, dissolving into nothing. I feel nothing but the pain. The physical burning. I'm still running, I need to get away. I can't let this happen. He can't change his mind, he shouldn't. I can't change my mind. It was meant to happen, I was meant to die tonight.
He grabs me once again, fighting the rain, the wind, the forces. Both arms are effected by his grip, holding on tighter than he had before. I feel like the flow of blood to my hands has stopped. I can still get away. I have to get away. I can't love him. I simply can't. I shouldn't either. I'd only mess up his life more so. I just wanted to feel loved again, like I belonged to someone. I wanted to feel the rush during a kiss and the warmth during the night. It wasn't meant for me. None of it was meant for me. I hear him calling my name under the pound of the rain and the roar of the thunder. The wind sweeps it off to another island, far from here. Far from the destruction that I've caused.
"Abby... Abby! Please..." His words get swept away from me, they mean nothing. A bitter prick of the needle with every syllable. I try to fight him off, he won't let go. I'm pulling him, he's holding on. His grip loosens and tightens with the distances, yet I can't get rid of him. I can see the streetlight, the sidewalk out of the ambulance bay, but I can't get there. He's like a rock, fettered to me to prevent me from going any further. Just like I'm simply dead weight to him. I finally make to the clearing. I can break away from him. I can shake him off, slip right through his fingers. It would be the best end for both of us. Quick and painless. I rivet my body in a circle and my flesh is left hanging on his fingers. My blood swarms down my arms, a warm trickling in contrast to the cold rain. I start to run. I need to get away. I have to get away. From the pain, the suffering, to the end. Run until I can't see, can't breathe, can't live. I get off the curb, refusing to look backward, ignoring to look forward.
A split second.
A screeching halt.
Weightlessness.
Crack.
Blackness....
I hear my name being called, and I open my eyes. A small, warm body curls up next to me in the bed. She pushes my hair out of my face, and gives me a small smile. Who is she? Where am I? I look around, the room looks familiar, yet strangely the opposite. The dark colors are gone, and the room is bright and light. A smell of fresh flowers drifts through the room, and I take a closer look at the girl in front of me. Her dark brown hair cascades to her shoulders; she wears a white sundress. She looks so familiar. I turn around, searching for anything that might remind me of where I am. The sun shines through the window; the birds sing a tune in harmony. The sun. A sharp contrast of the rain. The rain. The thunder, the darkness, the pain. Where am I?
"Mummy.... You promised we could go for a walk..." I squint my eyes, looking back at the girl. She looks so familiar, almost a spitting image of someone I've seen before. I run my hand through my hair, long and flowing. I look at the mirror across on the dresser. I look younger, almost alive. The dark bags under my eyes that I thought I would never get rid of are gone. I'm not the same Abby. What is happening?
"Mummy..." The little child digs her head onto my chest, and wraps her arms around my neck. I start to sit up. I look at her, in her eyes. She simply smiles a big grin and quickly starts to laugh.
"Who are you?" She starts to laugh even louder. She's no older than six or seven, her petite frame tells me so. Her green eyes hold so much charisma and energy, so much love, so much life.
"Don't be silly mummy... I told you I was sorry about breaking the glass..." I shake my head, trying to sort out the world in front of me. I push her hair back and she starts to smile again, lying down in my arms. She kisses me on the cheek and I see the small silver necklace resting on her collar. I push to read the inscription.
Zoey.
My heart stops beating.
My lungs are not working.
Zoey.
Life.
The life I never had.
She looks so familiar.
She looks like me.
She was a part of me.
Zoey.
The only name I ever liked.
She pulls me towards the edge of the bed and I begin to stand up. I check to see if I still can, and the world is like walking on thin air, soft and comfortable. She continues to pull me incessantly with her hand. I follow her. The rooms are in all bright colors, flowers, books lining the walls, in perfect order. Everything is almost perfect. She lets go of my hand and runs off to presumable her room. I walk towards the flapping white curtains and slowly step through them. The sun shines against a clear blue sky. The wind laps gently at my face. The shore is underneath me, looking out towards a gorgeous view. Simple blue water and nothing else. I walk back into the home and an eager face meets mine. She takes my hand in hers again and quickly shoots out the door.
"Mummy! Come on!" I start to laugh, I feel alive. I pick my little angel into my arms and swing her around. I place a kiss on her forehead and I hold her in my arms.
"I'm sorry..." She gives me a kiss on the lips and rests her head on my shoulder.
"I dunno what you did mummy, but I forgive you." I smile and hold her closer to me.
"I love you!" Her voice chases everything away from me, all the doubts I had about what was going on.
"I love you too, baby. I love you too." I shut the door and start out towards the outside world.
Chapter Eighteen
The rain suddenly comes pounding down, as if all of it was being held together and someone pulled a cord. The lighting crashing, thunder booming, hail pounding down. A sign from the heavens that I'm not supposed to be here at all. The wind rips at everything, making the world around me move from its stable position. The rain suddenly turns to a mix of hail and water, ever drop falling faster and faster biting into my bare skin. I feel a hand grab me from behind, burning into my skin, trying to hurt me more than the forces ever could. He doesn't want me in his life. It's okay with me. He wants me completely gone. I understand. I'm far from blaming him. His grip on me tightens by the second, but the water helps me get away from him. Helps cleanse me of his touch, his taste, him. The lighting cracks sending a stream of light through the sky, making the world suddenly go dark. I feel the scars and bruises forming on my arm from his touch, the blood mixes with the rain and washes down the stream, dissolving into nothing. I feel nothing but the pain. The physical burning. I'm still running, I need to get away. I can't let this happen. He can't change his mind, he shouldn't. I can't change my mind. It was meant to happen, I was meant to die tonight.
He grabs me once again, fighting the rain, the wind, the forces. Both arms are effected by his grip, holding on tighter than he had before. I feel like the flow of blood to my hands has stopped. I can still get away. I have to get away. I can't love him. I simply can't. I shouldn't either. I'd only mess up his life more so. I just wanted to feel loved again, like I belonged to someone. I wanted to feel the rush during a kiss and the warmth during the night. It wasn't meant for me. None of it was meant for me. I hear him calling my name under the pound of the rain and the roar of the thunder. The wind sweeps it off to another island, far from here. Far from the destruction that I've caused.
"Abby... Abby! Please..." His words get swept away from me, they mean nothing. A bitter prick of the needle with every syllable. I try to fight him off, he won't let go. I'm pulling him, he's holding on. His grip loosens and tightens with the distances, yet I can't get rid of him. I can see the streetlight, the sidewalk out of the ambulance bay, but I can't get there. He's like a rock, fettered to me to prevent me from going any further. Just like I'm simply dead weight to him. I finally make to the clearing. I can break away from him. I can shake him off, slip right through his fingers. It would be the best end for both of us. Quick and painless. I rivet my body in a circle and my flesh is left hanging on his fingers. My blood swarms down my arms, a warm trickling in contrast to the cold rain. I start to run. I need to get away. I have to get away. From the pain, the suffering, to the end. Run until I can't see, can't breathe, can't live. I get off the curb, refusing to look backward, ignoring to look forward.
A split second.
A screeching halt.
Weightlessness.
Crack.
Blackness....
I hear my name being called, and I open my eyes. A small, warm body curls up next to me in the bed. She pushes my hair out of my face, and gives me a small smile. Who is she? Where am I? I look around, the room looks familiar, yet strangely the opposite. The dark colors are gone, and the room is bright and light. A smell of fresh flowers drifts through the room, and I take a closer look at the girl in front of me. Her dark brown hair cascades to her shoulders; she wears a white sundress. She looks so familiar. I turn around, searching for anything that might remind me of where I am. The sun shines through the window; the birds sing a tune in harmony. The sun. A sharp contrast of the rain. The rain. The thunder, the darkness, the pain. Where am I?
"Mummy.... You promised we could go for a walk..." I squint my eyes, looking back at the girl. She looks so familiar, almost a spitting image of someone I've seen before. I run my hand through my hair, long and flowing. I look at the mirror across on the dresser. I look younger, almost alive. The dark bags under my eyes that I thought I would never get rid of are gone. I'm not the same Abby. What is happening?
"Mummy..." The little child digs her head onto my chest, and wraps her arms around my neck. I start to sit up. I look at her, in her eyes. She simply smiles a big grin and quickly starts to laugh.
"Who are you?" She starts to laugh even louder. She's no older than six or seven, her petite frame tells me so. Her green eyes hold so much charisma and energy, so much love, so much life.
"Don't be silly mummy... I told you I was sorry about breaking the glass..." I shake my head, trying to sort out the world in front of me. I push her hair back and she starts to smile again, lying down in my arms. She kisses me on the cheek and I see the small silver necklace resting on her collar. I push to read the inscription.
Zoey.
My heart stops beating.
My lungs are not working.
Zoey.
Life.
The life I never had.
She looks so familiar.
She looks like me.
She was a part of me.
Zoey.
The only name I ever liked.
She pulls me towards the edge of the bed and I begin to stand up. I check to see if I still can, and the world is like walking on thin air, soft and comfortable. She continues to pull me incessantly with her hand. I follow her. The rooms are in all bright colors, flowers, books lining the walls, in perfect order. Everything is almost perfect. She lets go of my hand and runs off to presumable her room. I walk towards the flapping white curtains and slowly step through them. The sun shines against a clear blue sky. The wind laps gently at my face. The shore is underneath me, looking out towards a gorgeous view. Simple blue water and nothing else. I walk back into the home and an eager face meets mine. She takes my hand in hers again and quickly shoots out the door.
"Mummy! Come on!" I start to laugh, I feel alive. I pick my little angel into my arms and swing her around. I place a kiss on her forehead and I hold her in my arms.
"I'm sorry..." She gives me a kiss on the lips and rests her head on my shoulder.
"I dunno what you did mummy, but I forgive you." I smile and hold her closer to me.
"I love you!" Her voice chases everything away from me, all the doubts I had about what was going on.
"I love you too, baby. I love you too." I shut the door and start out towards the outside world.