Chapter Twenty Four
I hear a gentle knock at the door and I turn my head. It's been two damn weeks too long for me to be stuck in bed. Everything still hurts me, but at lest now I can scream out for pain meds. I motion with my semi-good hand for whoever's behind the door to come in. I'm greeted by a very cheery and happy Susan.
"Hey.. How you feeling? You look like you've been hit by a car."I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at her.
"It's such a strange coincidence isn't it?" She starts to laugh and comes next to me, sitting down on the bed. I'm happy for the familiar face, I haven't seen anyone but Elizabeth for days. She refuses to let guests visit because she said I need time to rehabilitate. I've had enough rehabilitation time. I need to see someone before I lose my mind.
"How are you?'' My question floats over her and she flips through my chart. Okay so it's a miracle I'm still alive, but I am still alive. So now start talking to me. I wish I could smack her for her attention but I can't exactly move. I have pins realigning my back and pins in my leg, and casts and supports everywhere. I feel like a mummy. She flips the chart back and looks up at me.
"Meh, you'll be back just in time to guard the med students from danger." I roll my eyes again. Medical students, the worst thing to happen to medicine since the 1800's. I reach over to scratch the bandages on my bad arm with my good arm. Some of the cuts are still bleeding, I had an anti-clotting agent in with my blood. That prevents my wounds from healing properly. She sees the blood and comes over to help me.
"Ouch, how did those happen." I'd rather not remember, to tell her the truth, but I shrug my shoulders instead. She wraps the fresh gauze around the scratch marks and sits back down.
"Luka called. He'll be back in about a week." I shrug my shoulders. Great for him. I could careless. I mean Luka was okay, he didn't listen to me but he was there when I needed him. I don't plan on becoming dependant on him, but it would be a nice thought to get out of this hell hole. I watch her glance at her watch and sigh.
"I have to get back to work." I nod my head gently and she starts to walk out.
"Bring me something to do. Anything. Charts. Paperwork. Please." She starts to laugh, but I look at her completely serious.
"I'll tell them to throw in some narcotics." I smile at her and collapse back against my pillows. I've traced every pattern on the ceiling at least a million times. There is nothing on TV, and I don't' have any good books to read. The door begins to open against and the noise outside catches my attention. I look who just opened it and there he stands. Brown hair muzzled, green scrubs, white lab coat, black clogs. He has an awkward expression on his face.
"Don't worry. I won't bite." I lean back against my pillow and he walks in, shutting the door behind him.
"Hey." My throat is killing me, the tube scratched it on its way down and it still hasn't healed. It's one hell of a pain to talk sometimes.
"Hi." He walks over to me and pulls up a chair a few feet away from me. He does the same thing Susan did, he grabs the chart and flips through it. I'm the only one that hasn't seen the damn thing. He puts it back down and looks at me. I can tell he's not having a very good day, and I doubt coming to see me is making it any better.
"I'm sorry." I look away towards the window for a second. I'm in the mood for his apologizes or explanations. I knew what I wanted that night. I wanted to die, I would have done it myself. Except then I wouldn't have woken up. He, in a sense, saved my life. I don't know if I should be thankful or angry at him. I play with the edge of the blanket carelessly.
"Don't apologize. You did nothing." He closes his mouth. I think he knows when he should not say a word at all. The awkward silence freezes the air between us.
"How are Seb and Maddie?" He plays with his hands before looking up at me for a second. He bites on his bottom lip and smiles a little.
"Both were worried about you. Seb misses you." I smile a little and match gazes with him for a second. I take my hand and motion him closer to me. He complies and he's a few feet away from me. I take his hand, and he is startled. I don't' know. I've been given a second chance at life. I think I should try to make the most of it. I know I'm not going to change overnight. And all my problems aren't simply washed away. But maybe I can put a little effort through, I can make myself a better person. He's looking at me with a strange look on his face.
"I'm the one that should be sorry. You saved my life." His thumb runs over my hand back and forth, a comforting notion to the both of us.
"I put you here." I shake my head slightly.
"I put myself here." I hear his pager go off and he looks at it. I watch his face change and he quickly stands up.
"I'm sorry. I have a patient." I nod my head, but don't let go of his hand. He doesn't let go either. I pull him closer to me.
"Give me a second chance... Please..." He looks out the window, as if debating the cons to the idea. I know he's afraid to, so am I. I close my eyes, waiting for the rejection, but instead I feel his sweet lips against mine. They taste of coffee and sugar. His lips are fierce against my tired ones. I want more. I need more. He pulls away from me, but leans in for another kiss. I feel his lips against my forehead and he squeezes my hand.
"I'd give you million chances if you would ask." Another quick kiss against my cheek and he's gone. I watch him leave. My heart is pounding, my lungs cannot breathe. He's like a drug that I cannot get rid of . I don't think I want to get rid of him. I wish I don't' screw this up. I don't think I can take screwing this all up again. I don't care if I get hurt. At least this time I know all the pain will be worth something. I need to open myself up. My whole life can slip through my fingers if I don't.
I hear a gentle knock at the door and I turn my head. It's been two damn weeks too long for me to be stuck in bed. Everything still hurts me, but at lest now I can scream out for pain meds. I motion with my semi-good hand for whoever's behind the door to come in. I'm greeted by a very cheery and happy Susan.
"Hey.. How you feeling? You look like you've been hit by a car."I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at her.
"It's such a strange coincidence isn't it?" She starts to laugh and comes next to me, sitting down on the bed. I'm happy for the familiar face, I haven't seen anyone but Elizabeth for days. She refuses to let guests visit because she said I need time to rehabilitate. I've had enough rehabilitation time. I need to see someone before I lose my mind.
"How are you?'' My question floats over her and she flips through my chart. Okay so it's a miracle I'm still alive, but I am still alive. So now start talking to me. I wish I could smack her for her attention but I can't exactly move. I have pins realigning my back and pins in my leg, and casts and supports everywhere. I feel like a mummy. She flips the chart back and looks up at me.
"Meh, you'll be back just in time to guard the med students from danger." I roll my eyes again. Medical students, the worst thing to happen to medicine since the 1800's. I reach over to scratch the bandages on my bad arm with my good arm. Some of the cuts are still bleeding, I had an anti-clotting agent in with my blood. That prevents my wounds from healing properly. She sees the blood and comes over to help me.
"Ouch, how did those happen." I'd rather not remember, to tell her the truth, but I shrug my shoulders instead. She wraps the fresh gauze around the scratch marks and sits back down.
"Luka called. He'll be back in about a week." I shrug my shoulders. Great for him. I could careless. I mean Luka was okay, he didn't listen to me but he was there when I needed him. I don't plan on becoming dependant on him, but it would be a nice thought to get out of this hell hole. I watch her glance at her watch and sigh.
"I have to get back to work." I nod my head gently and she starts to walk out.
"Bring me something to do. Anything. Charts. Paperwork. Please." She starts to laugh, but I look at her completely serious.
"I'll tell them to throw in some narcotics." I smile at her and collapse back against my pillows. I've traced every pattern on the ceiling at least a million times. There is nothing on TV, and I don't' have any good books to read. The door begins to open against and the noise outside catches my attention. I look who just opened it and there he stands. Brown hair muzzled, green scrubs, white lab coat, black clogs. He has an awkward expression on his face.
"Don't worry. I won't bite." I lean back against my pillow and he walks in, shutting the door behind him.
"Hey." My throat is killing me, the tube scratched it on its way down and it still hasn't healed. It's one hell of a pain to talk sometimes.
"Hi." He walks over to me and pulls up a chair a few feet away from me. He does the same thing Susan did, he grabs the chart and flips through it. I'm the only one that hasn't seen the damn thing. He puts it back down and looks at me. I can tell he's not having a very good day, and I doubt coming to see me is making it any better.
"I'm sorry." I look away towards the window for a second. I'm in the mood for his apologizes or explanations. I knew what I wanted that night. I wanted to die, I would have done it myself. Except then I wouldn't have woken up. He, in a sense, saved my life. I don't know if I should be thankful or angry at him. I play with the edge of the blanket carelessly.
"Don't apologize. You did nothing." He closes his mouth. I think he knows when he should not say a word at all. The awkward silence freezes the air between us.
"How are Seb and Maddie?" He plays with his hands before looking up at me for a second. He bites on his bottom lip and smiles a little.
"Both were worried about you. Seb misses you." I smile a little and match gazes with him for a second. I take my hand and motion him closer to me. He complies and he's a few feet away from me. I take his hand, and he is startled. I don't' know. I've been given a second chance at life. I think I should try to make the most of it. I know I'm not going to change overnight. And all my problems aren't simply washed away. But maybe I can put a little effort through, I can make myself a better person. He's looking at me with a strange look on his face.
"I'm the one that should be sorry. You saved my life." His thumb runs over my hand back and forth, a comforting notion to the both of us.
"I put you here." I shake my head slightly.
"I put myself here." I hear his pager go off and he looks at it. I watch his face change and he quickly stands up.
"I'm sorry. I have a patient." I nod my head, but don't let go of his hand. He doesn't let go either. I pull him closer to me.
"Give me a second chance... Please..." He looks out the window, as if debating the cons to the idea. I know he's afraid to, so am I. I close my eyes, waiting for the rejection, but instead I feel his sweet lips against mine. They taste of coffee and sugar. His lips are fierce against my tired ones. I want more. I need more. He pulls away from me, but leans in for another kiss. I feel his lips against my forehead and he squeezes my hand.
"I'd give you million chances if you would ask." Another quick kiss against my cheek and he's gone. I watch him leave. My heart is pounding, my lungs cannot breathe. He's like a drug that I cannot get rid of . I don't think I want to get rid of him. I wish I don't' screw this up. I don't think I can take screwing this all up again. I don't care if I get hurt. At least this time I know all the pain will be worth something. I need to open myself up. My whole life can slip through my fingers if I don't.