Ahhhh. . . Sweet, sweet pumpernickel. Is there truly a better sort of
bread? On with the story!
Chapter 18: Old Age Outlaws (Hmmmm. . . possibly. . . sourdough! Yeah. Sourdough.)
"Now of course, you are all still fools for not coming here properly prepared. But why come here at all? Wait. . . let me guess. Yes. You've been challenged by an astronomically powerful demon the likes of which you have never seen and have absolutely no chance whatsoever of defeating, and. . . you've come here in the naïve belief that by joining my group of bandits you would become strong enough to defeat him. Is that everything?" Yoko said examining the heroes closely.
"Not quite. We also want to learn the origin of mayonnaise." Replied Yusuke. Everyone did an anime fall. "What? I've always wondered where mayonnaise came from? I think it's a perfectly reasonable request, what's everybody so surprised about?" (A/N Actually, I've always wondered that myself.)
Shocked by her "boss's" stupidity, Botan really couldn't hold in her exasperation much longer. "WE DID NOT COME HERE TO ASK ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DEMONS IN THE WORLD ABOUT SANDWICH CONDIMENTS, Yusuke! No matter how bizarre they may be. But yes, sir, the part about the evil demon is exactly what our problem is."
"Enhh, we might be able to do something about the training, but the mayonnaise is outside my specialty. We have suffered a few casualties over the years, so I suppose if you manage to pass the tests, we might have some sort of an agreement. If you can pass the tests."
Hearing all of this talk about tests made Kuwabara (and to a slightly lesser extent, Yusuke) rather nervous. "Uhh, what do you mean, tests? Like multiple choice? Or are we gonna have to read somethin' and then answer questions? Maybe, like essay questions, or just long answer? It's been a while since any of us have studied anything, you know?"
*Idiot.* Thought everyone present, as they just stared at Kuwabara, which made him, understandably, uncomfortable.
"NOT THAT KIND OF TEST!" Yelled Botan.
"Right. By test, he means the sort where you either pass, and join us, or fail, and die a particularly nasty death. Then again, considering who most of us are, and what we do for a living, that may be your fate either way. But for our records, we should know your names, and I will know if you are lying." said a new voice, as another figure shimmered out of the air. This one was short and fat, and had the sort of aura that just made everyone know that this was the real leader of the gang, and that he would probably have been an IRS agent, or possibly a door-to-door insurance salesman, had he been human. In fact, the only reason they knew he wasn't human was because of the three ears he had that were almost as large he was. "Hmmm. . . yes. You already know Yoko, then again, who doesn't these days. You'll learn who I and the rest of our merry band of cutthroats, thieves, assassins, and confidence men are after you have passed my tests and joined our illustrious, if rather soiled, ranks. Now, your names, if you please?"
"Kurama, also known as Shuichi Minamono."
"Hiei."
"Kenshin Himura."
"Sanosuke Sagara."
"Kuzuma Kuwabara, the strongest, meanest punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."
"Yusuke Urameshi, the much, much stronger, meaner punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."
"Botan, but I'm not really planning on joining. I'm just here to make sure they don't do anything more stupid then what they've already done; most of the boys do have girlfriends that can get reeeeally nasty."
After the little clerk-demon finished writing down their names, he asked everyone a few more questions. "Very well then. Sir, you are absolutely certain that these six warriors, not including the girl, are to your satisfaction and have a reasonably fair chance of meeting our initiation requirements?"
"Yes."
"Alright. You six, are you absolutely certain that you want to attempt to join our bandit gang? By answering yes, you waive any responsibility to I, Yoko, or any other member of this gang should you suffer death or serious injury, at least if said death or injury is sustained during your examination."
"Yes. I do." They all answered.
"Very well than. Prepare yourself for your first test: The Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye."
"Baum, baum, baaauuuummm!" said the rest of Yoko's demon bandits as they, too, shimmered out of the air.
*************************
"Zzzzzzzzz. . . Zzzzzzzzzzz. . . Mr. Huggyfwingers, don't leave me! Mr. Huggyfwingers! Whaaa! Whaaa!"
Uhhhhh. . . yeeeaaahh. Mister Voice in the Dark had one f***-up childhood, that's for sure. Anyway, stick around to see how bad this "Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye" happens to be. Seriously. I know I sure will, and that's a fact.
Chapter 18: Old Age Outlaws (Hmmmm. . . possibly. . . sourdough! Yeah. Sourdough.)
"Now of course, you are all still fools for not coming here properly prepared. But why come here at all? Wait. . . let me guess. Yes. You've been challenged by an astronomically powerful demon the likes of which you have never seen and have absolutely no chance whatsoever of defeating, and. . . you've come here in the naïve belief that by joining my group of bandits you would become strong enough to defeat him. Is that everything?" Yoko said examining the heroes closely.
"Not quite. We also want to learn the origin of mayonnaise." Replied Yusuke. Everyone did an anime fall. "What? I've always wondered where mayonnaise came from? I think it's a perfectly reasonable request, what's everybody so surprised about?" (A/N Actually, I've always wondered that myself.)
Shocked by her "boss's" stupidity, Botan really couldn't hold in her exasperation much longer. "WE DID NOT COME HERE TO ASK ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DEMONS IN THE WORLD ABOUT SANDWICH CONDIMENTS, Yusuke! No matter how bizarre they may be. But yes, sir, the part about the evil demon is exactly what our problem is."
"Enhh, we might be able to do something about the training, but the mayonnaise is outside my specialty. We have suffered a few casualties over the years, so I suppose if you manage to pass the tests, we might have some sort of an agreement. If you can pass the tests."
Hearing all of this talk about tests made Kuwabara (and to a slightly lesser extent, Yusuke) rather nervous. "Uhh, what do you mean, tests? Like multiple choice? Or are we gonna have to read somethin' and then answer questions? Maybe, like essay questions, or just long answer? It's been a while since any of us have studied anything, you know?"
*Idiot.* Thought everyone present, as they just stared at Kuwabara, which made him, understandably, uncomfortable.
"NOT THAT KIND OF TEST!" Yelled Botan.
"Right. By test, he means the sort where you either pass, and join us, or fail, and die a particularly nasty death. Then again, considering who most of us are, and what we do for a living, that may be your fate either way. But for our records, we should know your names, and I will know if you are lying." said a new voice, as another figure shimmered out of the air. This one was short and fat, and had the sort of aura that just made everyone know that this was the real leader of the gang, and that he would probably have been an IRS agent, or possibly a door-to-door insurance salesman, had he been human. In fact, the only reason they knew he wasn't human was because of the three ears he had that were almost as large he was. "Hmmm. . . yes. You already know Yoko, then again, who doesn't these days. You'll learn who I and the rest of our merry band of cutthroats, thieves, assassins, and confidence men are after you have passed my tests and joined our illustrious, if rather soiled, ranks. Now, your names, if you please?"
"Kurama, also known as Shuichi Minamono."
"Hiei."
"Kenshin Himura."
"Sanosuke Sagara."
"Kuzuma Kuwabara, the strongest, meanest punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."
"Yusuke Urameshi, the much, much stronger, meaner punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."
"Botan, but I'm not really planning on joining. I'm just here to make sure they don't do anything more stupid then what they've already done; most of the boys do have girlfriends that can get reeeeally nasty."
After the little clerk-demon finished writing down their names, he asked everyone a few more questions. "Very well then. Sir, you are absolutely certain that these six warriors, not including the girl, are to your satisfaction and have a reasonably fair chance of meeting our initiation requirements?"
"Yes."
"Alright. You six, are you absolutely certain that you want to attempt to join our bandit gang? By answering yes, you waive any responsibility to I, Yoko, or any other member of this gang should you suffer death or serious injury, at least if said death or injury is sustained during your examination."
"Yes. I do." They all answered.
"Very well than. Prepare yourself for your first test: The Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye."
"Baum, baum, baaauuuummm!" said the rest of Yoko's demon bandits as they, too, shimmered out of the air.
*************************
"Zzzzzzzzz. . . Zzzzzzzzzzz. . . Mr. Huggyfwingers, don't leave me! Mr. Huggyfwingers! Whaaa! Whaaa!"
Uhhhhh. . . yeeeaaahh. Mister Voice in the Dark had one f***-up childhood, that's for sure. Anyway, stick around to see how bad this "Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye" happens to be. Seriously. I know I sure will, and that's a fact.