Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Freedom Chapter 5
Freedom
By Stormkeeper
Chapter 5
Scott Summers made his way back to his room. He had been trying to get there before Charlotte went to sleep but he was certain he'd missed it. After escorting Todd back to his quarters, Todd had vented at Scott for quite some time and it was now fairly late.
As the door to his room slid aside, Scott sensed that Charlotte was indeed sound asleep. His thought was confirmed when he saw the baby. Jean was dressed for bed and half-heartedly reading in bed. Her feet were propped up on several folded blankets. She brightened when Scott entered the room. He walked over to her at the side of the bed and they kissed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jean asked. No more words needed to be said. She sensed something had angered him-----though it wasn't the worst anger he'd ever felt, he was obviously not in a pleasant mood either.
Scott shrugged. "How are you feeling?"
"Everything's fine. He's finally taking a break from kicking now," she said, patting her abdomen. "But my ankles have never been so swollen in my life."
Scott fussed over her for a bit, fluffing her pillows and massaging her feet. Jean knew he liked to do that as a way of grounding himself and getting ready to talk about whatever it was that had put him in the bad mood. After he undressed and sat next to her, holding a book which he had no intention of reading that night, Scott opened up.
"I was walking down the hall to our room. I heard fighting and I came up on Northstar and Todd---you know Todd, the English guy in his early twenties with the blond hair? Needs to get a handle on how to control his power of invisibility." Jean nodded and Scott continued. "They were in a fist fight though Northstar was really beating up Todd pretty badly. Bobby was standing there doing nothing. So I get there and break it up. I asked them what happened. Todd claimed that Northstar attacked him. Northstar and Bobby denied it and said that Todd attacked them."
"This sounds pretty serious," Jean said, remembering the Professor's words during one of their many conversations this past month. If An'zhina was to indeed become a permanent refuge, the goal would be for the X-men to recreate the culture of the peaceful people they met back on the Paradise Planet. The natives were able to have a violence-free society and it was what the X-men hoped for An'zhina too. "Did you talk to them about arbitration?"
"Yes. But since Northstar and Iceman are leaving with the others tomorrow, I told them we'll have to deal with this when they returned."
Jean nodded and Scott continued speaking. "Afterwards, I walked Todd back to his room. He wanted to talk for a bit so I sat down with him and listened. He said he had been walking along and minding his own business. He said that Northstar and Bobby were ---quote---'making out' in the hall and getting very lewd. He said he asked them to please take it inside one of their rooms when Northstar lashed out at him and started beating him up." Scott paused and shook his head. "Todd doesn't have any experience with fighting and Northstar was in Alpha Flight for fifteen years. Northstar really beat him up----Northstar came out of it with barely a scratch but Todd was injured. I asked him if he wanted to go to the infirmary but he said he'd be alright. I helped him bandage up. Todd's nose was almost broken."
Jean listened and nodded. Scott continued, "What were they thinking? They shouldn't have been kissing in the hallway. And Northstar's reaction was wrong. He had to have known Todd didn't stand a chance in their fight. He should be disciplined for what he did."
Jean sensed how angry Scott was over the incident. She said, "It seems that perhaps Northstar overreacted. But remember, Scott, what you heard was Todd's version of the story. I'm sure Northstar has a different version of what happened---maybe he attacked only in self-defense. We don't know yet which one is closer to the truth."
Scott looked at her. "The attack on Todd went beyond self-defense. If Northstar was defending himself, it was excessive. I don't see that Todd could have inflicted much damage on him at all anyway. Northstar is a big guy and he's been trained for combat for years. Todd's a fairly average-sized man and one with not much fighting experience."
"It may be true that Northstar was excessive. But we must reserve our judgement until the mediation." She paused and reflected. "Of course, with my powers, I will be able to sense what really happened."
"That's good." Scott sighed and put his book down. "I will try to keep an open mind and be fair when it comes to this mediation. But that Northstar…..first his out-of-line request of Queen Marina and now this. I can't see why on earth Storm sees him as having potential leadership abilities. We've had more trouble from him than almost anyone else lately!"
Jean reached over and put a hand on Scott's shoulder. He'd had a lot on his mind lately. Queen Marina's request still upset him. He had been flustered by the nature of her request, but his concern went deeper than that too. The power balance and the X-men's standing in Endarian space was possibly compromised. Scott and Jean were both aware that perhaps mutantkind was not as secure on An'zhina as they had once thought.
The bright Endarian sun shone as the X-men prepared to board Freedom for their return trip to earth. Moira MacTaggert joined most of the other citizens of An'zhina to say goodbye to their departing comrades. She squinted as she placed a hand above her eyes. The sun was brighter than usual.
"I'll miss you, Charles," Sean Cassidy was saying. "I wish you and the others best of luck."
"Thank you, Banshee. I hope we'll be back soon," Charles Xavier replied.
Moira then turned to Charles and looked at him. Her heart skipped a beat. She didn't know which was more unnerving----the fact that seeing him still made her react this way involuntarily or the fact that he must **know** her reaction. Moira bit her lip and extended her hands. Charles held them briefly before letting them go.
"We must hae another celebration when you return," she said.
"Of course, Moira. I will miss you."
"And I, you. Best of luck to you."
Charles nodded and moved on. No hug. Moira watched him bid farewell to the next well-wishers and reflected for a moment on what could have been. She then silently chided herself for allowing her mind to take that route. Sean was alive and well----it had been a shock and a blessing when she learned that her husband was still alive and being held prisoner by the Cetians. She loved Banshee more than nearly anyone in her life and since their reunion, they had barely spent a moment apart.
But it was also true that during the months Moira had thought Sean dead, she had been getting closer to Charles. The two had slowly been edging towards opening a door and possibly stepping through it together. Now Sean was back and Charles was alone again. Gone was their morning ritual of eating breakfast together. Moira felt a stab of pain for the man she still cared deeply about.
Storm did a quick count. Everyone who should be aboard was indeed aboard with their belongings successfully beamed into their quarters. Sitting on the bridge with the Professor, Beast, and Wolverine, Storm performed one final diagnostic on Freedom. The engines, life support and all weaponry were on-line and working properly. Storm pressed a few buttons and turned on the cloaking device. To those watching from the moon, Freedom seemed to fade out and disappear in the space of a couple seconds.
"Ready?" Storm asked the other faces on the bridge. "Here we go."
Her fingers working the controls, Storm propelled the ship from the surface of An'zhina. The sturdy ship rose. She then engaged the impulse engines and steered the ship away from the many Endarian moons and passed the large planet itself. Freedom was then plunged into the mists that surrounded Endaria, the mists that served as a natural barrier for the tremendous civilization.
At this point, the Professor's powers always came in handy. The mists not only functioned as a fortress but they also nullified most of the ship's sensors. Charles touched his fingers to his temples and used his memories of Freedom's previous journeys to direct the ship out of the mists.
"We're almost there," the Professor said. "A few more seconds and we'll be out of the mists. Steady." He paused. Storm glanced at his face. His normally calm expression was replaced by confusion…and then a hint of fear.
"I'm sensing other minds!" the Professor said. "Many, many other minds."
"Be on alert, everyone!" Storm said, over the loud speakers.
"Where?" Wolverine asked.
"Nearby," the Professor said, unable to get any more specific. "Hundreds of minds….human minds."
Beast's fingers adroitly worked at his console. "We are coming out of the mists now and sensors are back on line." He gasped. "I'm picking up an FOH vessel!"
The other monitors confirmed what Beast saw. An uncloaked FOH starship was perched just outside of the mists of An'zhina.
"The FOH ship is moving….It is on a direct intercept course to us!" Storm said. "And it is firing up phasers and photon torpedos. I am putting our shields up and bringing all our weapons on line."
Wolverine smiled as he put his hands on his controls. "I'm on phasers and photons."
Beast looked at his console and pressed several buttons. "How do they know our position? Our cloaking device **is** functional. They should----"
He was cut off by the sound of a phaser blast. The FOH ship opened fire on the X-men. Their shields protected them.
The X-men were momentarily stunned by this attack but they reacted quickly. Storm maneuvered the ship in an evasive pattern but FOH handily tracked and kept up with Freedom. It was as if Freedom's cloaking device was non-existent.
Wolverine defended the ship. Although he preferred fighting with his hands and claws, this was also satisfying in a way. Years of practice at simulated battles made him a pro. He and Storm almost effortlessly coordinated their efforts-----she steering the ship and he firing away. They made an exceptional team. Beast monitored the engines.
During the battle, the Professor opened his minds to his attackers. There were approximately 280 minds on board the FOH vessel. The ship was of the same make as Freedom. The minds were experiencing varied emotions---anger, fear, exhilaration, depression, boredom, excitement. The Professor raced through the 280 minds until he reached that of the Captain of the FOH vessel. He took a deep breath and dived into the man's mind.
Charles learned that the FOH Captain was planning on ordering someone to contact other FOH ships in the area and add them to the fight. He learned that FOH had been stationing ships outside of Endaria for a few weeks now. FOH made had an educated guess that Endaria was the refuge the X-men were bringing the rescued mutant to----it was only logical given how the X-men and FOH's last battle near Endaria had ended.
Charles made a decision. He had to convince the FOH Captain to not contact other FOH starships. If he did so, the X-men would face a serious chance of being overwhelmed. Probability was high that the X-could defeat **one** FOH vessel in a space battle. They did not stand a good chance of defeating two or three. Given the new chill in Queen Marina's attitude towards the X-men combined with the xenophobic views of the Endarians, it was unlikely that they would be rescued should they lose the battle. The Professor silently debated with himself for only a second before entering the mind of the FOH Captain and influencing his actions.
From then on, it was fairly simple. He persuaded the Captain to question why they were fighting this battle at all. He suggested that the Captain cease this conflict. He entered the minds of the next level of higher-ups and made it seem reasonable to them that they were now being ordered to stand down from their fighting and turn away. Several members of the crew began forgetting about the encounter with Freedom. Others dimly remembered the battle but thought they had lost it. There was now confusion aboard the FOH vessel. Charles stayed inside their minds and soothed their confusion. The FOH Captain ordered that they set a new course, and the attacking vessel warped far away from Endaria. They forgot to report the battle to the FOH higher-ups back on earth.
The X-men then continued their journey towards earth. During the battle with FOH, they had sustained minor damage to their shields----nothing that a few hours of work couldn't repair.
We were all pretty freaked out after that battle. Well, maybe I should only speak for myself. Okay, I guess it wasn't a surprise that FOH knew we were staying on Endaria. That they should have known. It was freaky, though, that they had been stationing ships outside of Endarian space. But what was really worrisome was that they behaved as if our cloaking device was non-existent. We ran diagnostic after diagnostic on it and they all confirmed that the cloak was functional as it always had been.
Hank said it was not unreasonable to suppose they could have come up with the technology to detect cloaks. There are many brilliant scientists on earth and obviously many of them worked for FOH. Cloaking devices were man-made and certainly it was conceivable that someone came up with a way to detect them.
Unfortunately, we had no way to detect **their** cloak. Hank spent long hours in the lab trying to figure out the methodology behind this, how to go about finding cloaked ships. His early results were not encouraging.
All we could do was continue on towards earth with the knowledge that FOH, at any time, could be hiding out there and tracking us. Not very comforting knowledge. Bridge duty became even more important than before. Two X-men were on bridge duty at all times and I can say that none of us were playing computer games or chit-chatting while on duty anymore. We sat solemnly glued to our monitors, checking for any disturbances, ready at a second's notice to sound alarms and take our battle stations.
It impacted the way we went about our day to day activities when we weren't on bridge duty too. When we ate our meals, got dressed in the morning, trained in the Danger Room or played cards in the rec room, we had to be ready to jump up at any second. We knew the red alert siren could go off at any time. It was a bit like walking down a street at night stark naked. Here we were, naked in space and vulnerable to attack from any enemy that could strike without warning.
The Professor and Storm made their way to a conference room one evening. They had come from a tiring but successful day. The X-men's sessions in the Danger Room were going well. Every day, the X-men spent hours fighting simulated battles against FOH combined with Gorgeous Jorge, Pyro, Raucous and the other mutants who were working with FOH. Their simulations also involved using the Euphoria Vapor and liberating simulated camps. The team was doing exceedingly well, and that fact was helping to chase away fears many on board had been harboring since their encounter with the FOH ship.
Additionally, the Professor and Storm had just come out of a tactical meeting with Beast, Rogue and Wolverine. All three of their new field commanders-in-training were taking their new role seriously and offering strong suggestions. During Danger Room training, each had led several rescue missions and all three were excelling. Charles had not needed his telepathy to sense that the mood on the ship was gradually elevating since their skirmish with FOH two days ago.
"I am going to get myself some tea," Storm said, turning towards a food replicator. "Would you like anything?"
"No, thank you, Storm," the Professor answered.
Storm acquired her cinnamon and honey flavored tea, and sat down opposite Charles in the small meeting room. They briefly discussed the Danger Room sessions and agreed that the team was functioning as well as it ever had, and their new field commanders were strong choices.
"Everyone is starting to feel more calm than they had been since the battle," the Professor was saying. "And, as I reminded everyone at breakfast today, I am continually performing mental scans of the surrounding areas of space so that I can detect if other ships are near."
"They might still be able to cloak themselves, but they cannot hide from your powers," Storm said, smiling. Her expression then turned somber again and she looked at her hands as she folded them on the table. "Have you thought more about using your powers on our next rescue mission?"
The Professor nodded. Fleetingly, he wished Moira MacTaggert were on board this ship. He cared for Storm deeply, as he did for all of his X-men, and he had no qualms about confiding in her. But Charles would always have a teacher-student relationship with the X-men first and foremost. When he had difficult moral questions to ponder, he preferred to do so with Moira. She was more of a peer to him. But Moira was light years away now, and it would not have mattered even if she were present. Ever since the return of Banshee, Charles's former fiancee had been distant towards him. Charles quickly swallowed that pain and focussed, as he always did, on the future.
"I have been mulling over it quite a bit, Storm," the Professor finally answered. "The mental interference I performed during our battle two days ago…..it saved us our lives in all likelihood. But never before have I entered so many unwilling minds and committed so much interference."
"How do you feel about that?"
The Professor smiled. He could not chase away awkward feelings when it came to having a discussion on this level with one of his students. Storm was an adult----indeed she was one of the oldest in age of all the X-men. She was extremely mature and he had nothing but the highest respect for her and her opinions. But Charles still wished that he were doling out advice or guidance rather than confessing to uncertainty with Storm. "I have mixed feelings about it still. However, the more I think about it, the more comfortable I am becoming with the idea of using my powers in this manner to prevent a greater harm from occurring."
Storm nodded. "It does make sense. And you are not committing harm or malicious acts when you enter their minds." She paused and took a sip of her tea. She wished the cinnamon flavor were stronger as she could scarcely taste or smell it. "And when we get to earth…" she began, her tone questioning.
"I will locate the mind of the leader of all FOH. And I will enter it. I have decided that I will not force him to change his mind, but I will transmit sensations to him. I am going to have him experience some of the pain he has caused others. Perhaps once he experiences it as a victim, it will change his mindset."
Storm fought to hide her happiness and keep her expression placid. This was a major turnaround for Charles. Two years ago, he would have never considered such a plan. Of course, in the span of two years, the X-men had seen and survived things they would never have imagined even in their worst nightmares. Storm and the Professor discussed a few more items that evening before ending their meeting.
Charles went to his room and undressed for bed. He attempted to sleep, questions pouring over him in waves. He had debated himself so many times on this question. `It is time for me to trust that I made the right decision and go with it,' he told himself. Charles quieted his mind and allowed himself to slip into unconsciousness.
When sleep finally overtook him, his dreams were vivid and real. Charles rarely remembered his dreams but this night, he tossed and turned as the images played out in his mind. A familiar voice, a beloved voice spoke to him.
//Do you remember me, Charles?//
//How can you even ask the question? Of course I remember you. You are the greatest friend I ever had, and my greatest enemy.//
//Sometimes I think that you have forgotten all about me.//
//I think of you almost every day, Magnus. Do not ever doubt for a second that I grieved when I heard the Friends of Humanity killed you. I have spent the last two years mourning your death.//
//They killed you, too. They killed a part of you----your idealistic dream that humans and mutants could live in peace.//
//I still hold on to that dream, Magnus. However I have come to realize that I might never see it come to fruition within my lifetime. Why did you come to me tonight, Magnus?//
//Because I wanted to commend you. All those years I urged you to use your abilities to change the minds of humankind. I wanted to commend you for finally seeing the light.//
The images abruptly ceased. Charles sat up in his bed, sweating and shaking.
Hank and Panda lay in their bed together. The FOH bedframes did not support their combined weight, so they had removed the frame of the bed and slept on the floor, atop the mattress together. If they spooned, they could both fit their abundant bodies on the mattress.
Panda began to drift off into a contented, relaxed state. She and Hank had just finished making love. He was a gentle and tender lover. Perhaps not as spontaneous as could be, but she had plans to train him. She was feeling so good that the contentment had washed over her and was leading her into a blissful sleep.
"How much did you enjoy that? Did your enjoyment of it surpass the average or was it closer to the average?"
"Mmmmm," Panda replied, snuggling closer to Hank. "Wonderful," she murmured.
Hank held on to his confusion. He was glad that she said it was wonderful but that did not answer his question. He tried again. "What did you like best? What was your favorite thing that we did?" A pause. She didn't reply. "Did you observe that I was really enjoying your calves? You seemed to like it when I kneaded them."
Again, Panda did not reply though she kept her arms around Hank and remained cuddled against him. Hank then asked. "Did you have one orgasm or two? I was not sure but I thought that you perhaps had a second one, smaller in intensity than the first."
Hank started to worry. He lifted himself up on one arm and turned around to face her. "Jessica, I feel so insecure when you won't talk to me after lovemaking. Did I do something wrong?"
Panda shook her head and propped herself up to look at him. "Hank, will you relax? Everything was wonderful! It was great. I'm just feeling really mellow right now and I wanted to enjoy the feeling…When you talk so much, it spoils the mood a bit."
"Should I not talk **during** lovemaking either or just refrain from conversation afterwards? Should I not make any noise at all? Would you like it best if….."
Panda sighed, grabbed a pillow and put it over her head.
I was sitting on the floor of the rec room with Hank and Rory. I couldn't get over how fast she was growing. She was just 15 months old but she already did so much. Hank and I tried to keep up with her playing but she was wearing us out. She also very clearly missed Charlotte. Hank and I were babysitting since Jubilee was serving on her bridge duty shift.
"So, Hank, my friend," I began, "how is life in the realm of the sexually active?" It was a frivolous question, but I asked it anyway. The mood on the ship had been much better lately. The Professor reminded us that he was constantly scanning the area, using his powers. Our long-range sensors were powerful too. If FOH were in the vicinity, we would have enough warning. Besides, look at what the Professor did during our last starship battle with FOH. I guess if worse came to worse, he could save us again that way. I had been having many reassuring conversations with my fellow X-men and felt much better than I had right after the attack outside of Endaria.
Anyway, Hank shot me a disapproving look and didn't answer my question. So I continued on. "So, all those worries you had before….none of them turned out to be a real problem, did it?"
"Not at all," he answered.
"Sorry if I'm being nosy and all---it's just that-----"
"You? Nosy? I cannot imagine." Hank smiled tolerantly. I don't think he was really exasperated with me, especially since he's put up with a lot over the years. : ) "I will say, my friend, that I am extremely happy and I know Panda feels the same way." I could tell he was elated and had been ever since he and his girl hit the sack together. Panda looked really happy all the time as well.
"Well that's good….you stud muffin, you," I grinned. He blushed.
"There is one aspect of the relationship that I find, to use the colloquial, takes some getting used to," Hank admitted. "Never before have I had to share a bed with anyone else. After thirty-six years of sleeping in a bed alone, sharing one is an unfamiliar sensation."
"But a good sensation?" I asked.
"Mostly. Except that Panda has a habit of snoring."
He and I smiled over that. Hank then craned his head around, as if to ensure that we were alone in the rec room. We were alone, of course, aside from Aurora who was occupied with her toys. He then leaned toward me and asked, in a more serious tone, "How has your health been? You haven't been feeling at all ill lately, have you?"
"I'm fine. Everything's normal." I knew what he was getting at and added, insistently, "Look, I promised I'd come see you if I ever felt sick and I'll stick to that promise. Don't worry about me. You said yourself that what that guy and I did wasn't all that risky. The odds of me contracting something have to be low."
"I agree. But I am your friend and am always concerned for your welfare. May I inquire as to how you and Northstar are doing? Have you told him yet?"
I swallowed. Obviously I knew what Hank meant; he didn't need to clarify. "No. Uh----I need to tell him. I need to get around to it."
"I know it will not be easy, but it is information he should know."
"Yeah, I know." What else could I say? I dreaded telling Jean-Paul that I fooled around on Ceti III, but I knew I had to. "I should do it soon, too," I said, as much to myself as to Hank.
"Why do you say that?"
"I think that Jean-Paul maybe is getting ready to take our relationship to the next level. Ever since Queen Marina got him a replacement arm, he's had this air about him….he's more confident now. A few others have commented on it too." I was going to elaborate a bit but for a second I had trouble sorting out which thoughts to tell Hank. Who really knew when Jean-Paul would be ready though? I could be reading him wrong. I didn't blame him for wanting to wait. Phillippe had pretty much been the love of his life. He rarely spoke of Phillippe but from the times he did, I knew he missed his lover greatly. I knew that Phillippe had meant to him more than anyone in his life, maybe even more than his sister. And speaking of his sister, he was obviously missing her a great deal.
I wanted to elaborate on this but then another thought just popped into my head, and I verbalized it instead. "I've learned a lot from this relationship. This is the first time I haven't plunged head first into something serious. With the other guys I've dated, we usually rushed into things way too fast. Even Michael and I did that," I said, referring to the man I had a three-year relationship with, years ago. Michael and I had ended things on good terms and I occasionally wondered how he was going.
"I see," Hank said. "I do not have much experience with relationships, but I see wisdom in progressing slowly."
I nodded. "Jean-Paul does too. It's better this way. We're actually taking the time to get to know each other. I like it."
"I am very glad it is working out well for you and that you have learned from this experience."
The doors to the room then slid aside, and Jubilee entered.
"Mama!" Rory exclaimed, rushing right up to her. Jubilee picked up her daughter and whirled her around. She greeted her and kissed her, and then turned to us, "Thanks, guys, for looking after her."
"Our pleasure," I said. "I love being an Uncle."
"I don't know how normal people on earth with kids manage to do it," Jubilee said. "Especially single people. There's no way I could take care of Aurora day in and day out without all of you guys."
Hank and I smiled at the praise. We were glad to help as I think pretty much all of the X-men were.
Jubilee sat down and started chatting with us. I watched her closely during our conversation. I think she was doing alright. Since we're a tight-knit bunch, word has a way of travelling and many had noticed that she had seemed a bit down lately. I thought she'd been doing better since the healing ceremony she and the other women had. Everyone looked after Jubilee, especially Wolverine. He was always checking in with her and spending time with her to make sure she was doing alright.
Psylocke and Wolverine sat on the bridge of Freedom. Wolverine sat near the weaponry controls and watched his console. Psylocke had a different method of monitoring space. She felt in touch with her powers, attuned to any mental activity that could be occurring outside of the couple dozen people on board Freedom. She was confident that Freedom was alone in the vast sea of space and no other ships were lurking nearby.
Psylocke shared her thoughts with Wolverine. "There's no one out there now," she said. "They've left us alone since the attack outside of Endaria."
"When they attack again, we'll be ready for those bastards," Wolverine said.
"You can handle anything," she said, her tone changing. "I saw you in practice today in the Danger Room. You're such a big, strong man."
Wolverine looked up from his console at the beautiful woman sitting next to him. Her scent was giving off unmistakable signals and she was eyeing him desirously. Ever since they'd set out for earth, he'd sensed her interest in him.
Logan didn't care much for gossip----but to an extent, learning what was going on in your teammates' lives was unavoidable when you spent all your time in such close quarters. For instance, everyone had heard through the grapevine of the Northstar-Bobby-Todd incident the evening before the X-men had departed An'zhina. And everyone knew that not only had Psylocke and Angel broken up, but she had already had a number of different lovers since then. Logan's senses allowed him to pick up on the fact that she had been with four men since splitting up with Angel.
Logan looked back down at his monitor. Betsy moved her chair closer to his and placed a hand on his thigh. "Maybe you can show me just how powerful you are," she murmured. Her hand slowly traveled up his thigh. "I would like that so much. And I know I could show you a thing or two."
Logan moved his chair away, picked up Betsy's hand and gave it back to her. "No thanks, darlin'", he mumbled.
"Why not?" she asked, innocently. Her voice then turned seductive again. "You won't be disappointed. I'll do whatever you want." She moved her face towards his, but Logan backed away.
"`Cause I said no," he replied.
"Is it because of Storm?" Psylocke asked. "I thought your relationship with her was purely sexual."
Logan wanted to answer, `It is,' but instead said, "None o' yer business. I ain't interested. No offense, darlin'."
With that, Wolverine got up and sat near another set of monitors on the bridge. Thankfully, Psylocke did not pursue him any more that day. They still had to finish out their bridge duty shift together.
Logan was not a man who enjoyed discussing his emotions with other people, but that didn't mean that he never thought of them himself. He generally didn't dwell on them but sometimes he had to think things through. Psylocke's overtures were causing Logan to remember some of the conversations Gambit used to goad him into during the weeks they'd spent laboring away in the Cetian mines. Gambit used to insist that deep down Wolverine had to love Storm. `No,' Logan thought. 'I'm too old to confuse sex with love.'
He and Storm had started up together when the X-men had been stranded on the Paradise Planet. At that point, Logan had gone for more than a year without sex and the only women there were Storm, Rogue, Jubilee and….Jean. As had been the case since the beginning, Jean was tantalizingly close but so agonizingly far out of reach. Rogue was also "taken", and even if she hadn't been, the two were simply not attracted to each other. And Logan just couldn't ever imagine having sex with Jubilee---far too incestuous, despite what Jubilee might later have tried to get him to go along with. So that had left Storm. Storm had initiated and the two had become lovers. Simple.
During the weeks Wolverine had been held prisoner on Ceti III, Gambit would often talk during their dinner or as they were trying to fall asleep. He tried to get Wolverine to admit to being in love with Storm. `But I ain't in love with her,' Wolverine thought. He loved her and respected her greatly, but he also knew that if Jean were to miraculously decide she wanted Wolverine, he would go off with her in an instant, without a thought for Storm.
Not that it was much use speculating on this. Logan knew that Jean would never, ever leave Cyclops. Even if good ole' Cyke were to drop dead someday, Jean still wouldn't betray his memory.
But what if another woman were to come along? Not Psylocke, of course. Heck yes, Logan found her attractive----what man wouldn't? Her beauty rivaled Jean's. But he knew that she was messed up in the head, and even if she wasn't, no way was he going to date another teammate's woman so shortly after they'd broken up. No way. Anyone could see Angel was miserable.
But what if someone other than Psylocke were to come along? Logan had reluctantly agreed one day, long ago, to discuss such scenarios with Storm. They decided that if either were to fall in love with someone else, they were free to end their liaison. However, the opportunity simply hadn't presented itself to Logan since he and Storm had taken up together. The xenophobic Endarians wanted nothing to do with the X-men, and the female camp survivors had been psychologically and physically abused. Although many of the camp survivors were recovering, as he'd observed on his last stay on An'zhina, none (aside from Psylocke) had expressed any interest in Logan. So that was it.
Logan also observed that the other men stayed away from Storm. If he mulled over it, in a way Logan liked the thought that the other men knew that Storm was "his" and therefore feared the wrath of Wolverine if they were to proposition Storm. One day, though, he'd overheard Storm talking to someone else. She said that men stayed away from her because they were intimidated by such a powerful woman. There probably was truth to both reasons. Whatever the case, the opportunity of starting a relationship with someone else had not presented itself to Storm either.
So here they remained----friends and companions, and lovers too but not soulmates. In a way, that suited him just fine. Logan had long-ago resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to have a "happy ever after" type of relationship. `Leave the flowers, candy, and all that stuff to the Cajun or to One-Eye. It ain't in the mix for me,' he thought.
For a while, he had thought their arrangement suited Storm just fine too. But Logan also could tell that her feelings for him ran a bit deeper. Try as she might to control and mask her feelings, Logan just had a way of knowing. Fortunately, Storm hadn't said anything about it to him.
All those thoughts swam through his mind for the remainder of his bridge shift and during dinner. As if on auto-pilot, he sought out Storm when they were finished eating. He gave her the look. She gave him the nod and off they went.
"You nervous, Remy?" Rogue asked one evening, as the couple sat together in their room.
"We be okay, chere. You know dat the Professor and Psylocke be usin' deir powers to monitor space all the time. Dey'll sense anyt'ing, if deir are any FOH around."
Gambit and Rogue were half-heartedly playing a card game on the small table in their quarters. Gambit found himself looking around the small room, partly wishing they were back on An'zhina, enjoying its sandy beaches and wide open grassy areas. The X-men were less than a week out from Endarian space, but Freedom felt cramped already. It would be even more cramped assuming their next mission went well. Tonight most of the others were hanging out in the rec room, the gym was being used, and the bridge was now off the list as a potential hang-out area since two people were on bridge duty at all times. So the couple had retreated to their room for some time alone.
"Are **you** nervous, chere?" Gambit asked.
"A little," Rogue replied. It didn't feel at all awkward to admit this to Gambit. They shared so much of their thoughts and feelings with each other, things they wouldn't confess to anyone else. "They're gonna know when we get closer to earth since they can see us even when we're cloaked. And if we even can enter earth's orbit at all and launch a rescue mission, we're gonna have to face all those traitor mutants who are helping them."
"You beat the pants off dem every day in the Danger Room. You'll be fine." He paused and looked intently at her. "Are you feelin' more stressed since you be training to be a field commander now?"
Rogue shrugged. "Maybe that's part of it. I dunno. I know I can do it. Back when Mystique was using me, she trained me in basically the same role and I did just fine." She paused and the edges of her lips curved upwards as several memories floated by.
"What is it?" Gambit asked, seeing the bemused expression on her face.
"Jus' thinking back to those days. I was gonna say how well I did as a field commander back then, but I was way too young and stupid to be afraid. An' I was also thinking that I didn't feel honored to be a field commander then because look who I beat out for the job. Pyro. Blob. Avalanche. We ain't talkin' the sharpest tools in the shed here."
Rogue and Gambit shared a laugh. Rogue then abruptly added, "Sometimes I miss her."
"Mystique?" Gambit asked, his tone questioning but not surprised.
"Yeah. I know, I know. She did some really horrible things in her life," Rogue said, as she reflected. "An' maybe she really was rotten to the core. I just hate thinking of how FOH must've tortured her and killed her. Maybe I should worry more over all the innocent mutants they're hurting instead. But whatever else Mystique did in her lifetime, she saved me. I was homeless and penniless when she took me in. My Daddy had----" Abruptly, Rogue stopped her retrospection.
"What is it, chere?" Gambit asked quietly. Rogue looked confused.
She struggled to verbalize her thoughts. "I----I don't know. This is hard to explain," she said, groping for words. "It's like lately whenever I think of him---and I don't ever think of him too often----it's like some….some alarm goes off in my head and my train of thought stops dead. I---I can't figure it out."
Gambit looked at her and nodded. She rarely ever spoke of her life before Mystique. A year or so ago, Rogue had shared her real name with Gambit and she'd told him a smidgen of information about her pre-Mystique life. He hadn't pressed her for more since he could tell it was not a topic she enjoyed speaking about. In fact, it seemed as though she remembered very little of it.
"You remembering something bad, maybe?" Gambit asked.
"I just don't know," she said, still sounding bewildered.
"Maybe you outta talk to the Professor `bout it. Gambit sure dat he'd love to try to help you. `Course I'm glad to listen to you too, chere. But the Professor got the experience with dis sorta stuff."
"You're right," Rogue said. "He's offered before but I never even considered it. Lately I been thinking maybe I should."
"I t'ink it couldn't hurt. Besides…..he won't be busy wit' any counseling till we get to earth. No one else here is working wit' him."
"I know," Rogue said. "What a shame Betsy ain't anymore. She needs it more than anyone." Rogue sounded a lot more like her old self now that the topic had changed. "I couldn't believe her flirtin' with Kurt at dinner today."
Gambit shook his head. "Gambit 'bout fainted when he saw dat. An' poor Kurt was so embarrassed."
"But did you see Angel? I think he looked ready to kill someone. Poor guy."
Rogue much preferred this line of subject matter to the previous one. They continued with their card game and kept on chatting until they were ready for bed. After they'd undressed and climbed under the covers, Gambit asked her again to consider working with the Professor. The idea was starting to look less unappealing to Rogue.
Psylocke was working out in the gym late one evening. She had changed the lighting level of the gym so that the large room was mostly darkened. Psylocke preferred it that way. Something about a blanket of darkness comforted her ever since she'd been rescued from the FOH camp. Her conscious mind had forgotten that the barracks she'd been held prisoner in and in which she'd endured daily, brutal assaults had been lit with bright, glaring lighting.
Completely absorbed in her exercises, she spun around and gasped when she realized she wasn't alone anymore. In the space of a split second, Psylocke silently cursed herself for letting her guard down like that. Years ago her reflexes would never have been this poor
"Stay away from my man, Psylocke," the voice behind her said. The words were spoken slowly by Storm. Her voice was heavy and serious; Psylocke had never heard Storm sound quite like this.
Psylocke absorbed Storm's demand. "Is he really **your** man?" she asked, her composure recovered. Her eyebrows were raised and her voice artificially breezy and friendly.
"Yes. Our arrangement doesn't include you," Storm replied, smoothly and calmly.
Psylocke smiled. "Whatever you say, Storm." She shrugged. "I didn't mean to step on your toes," she said, simply. Psylocke resumed working on the upper body resistance exercises she was performing. She did a few more reps and heard Storm's footsteps retreating. Psylocke then turned around again and said to Storm's back, "I thought the only part of his that belonged to you was his cock. We both know the only woman he loves is Jean. Being a telepath, I can't help but to be aware of things like this. It's difficult when you love someone who doesn't love you." Psylocke's words may have sounded sympathetic, but her tone was almost taunting. She then continued, "But when it comes to sex, I know Wolverine's got….energy for more than one woman. That's why I asked him. I'm sorry Storm." The apology sounded as artificial as it was intended to be.
Storm stopped walking. She then took a breath, forced herself to ignore
Psylocke, and resumed heading towards the exit.
`Shame on me,' Storm thought, as she boarded a turbo-lift and headed for the hallway that would take her to her quarters. `What kind of a leader am I? I am going to need to find a way to keep working with Betsy.' She shook her head. `How could I have let my emotions get a hold of me like that? What is wrong with me?'
Storm decided that she would write in her journal that evening. She had to. Although the powerful Wind Rider enjoyed having Rogue or Jubilee confide in her, Storm couldn't abide by opening herself up and sharing her inner feelings with others. On the rare occasions that she did so, Jean Grey was usually her confidant, and Jean was now thousands of light-years away.
`Of course, even if Jean were not so far away, this is not a matter that I could share with her,' Storm later wrote in her journal. `I sound like a jealous school-girl, but I know that part of my turmoil has to do with how Logan feels for Jean. I do not resent Jean at all for this. But I must get control of my emotions and not have anymore outbursts like the one I had with Betsy today. It is not Betsy's fault--or Jean's fault, for that matter—that Logan does not love me. I believe that all women are sisters and it is time my actions demonstrated that belief.'
`And I also must be careful not to resent Logan,' she wrote. `Love cannot be forced and he is not to blame for not being in love with me. I must accept this situation and learn to deal with it. If I cannot accept it, then I have the option of breaking off the relationship that Logan I do have.' Storm put the pen down and shook her head. No way. She would never give up the piece of Logan that was hers.
"Bad mutant baby!"
The words were spoken by seven year old Stephan as he delivered a smack across Charlotte's face. The two children had been in the play room, being babysat by Jeanne-Marie. Charlotte had made her way over to Stephan and tried to hug him when he yelled at and slapped her.
"Stephan!" Jeanne-Marie said, getting up from the book she'd been immersed in. She physically put herself in between the two and, bending down, placed her hands on Stephan's shoulders. "Why did you hurt her?" she asked, her tone not hiding her anger. She resisted the urge to shake her son or strike him.
"She's a bad ugly mutie!"
"Stephan! **I** am a mutant and **I'm** your mother. And I love you. A
lot of good people are mutants. You should never---" Jeanne-Marie's
communicator beeped and she turned her attention to it. "Yes?"
"It's Jean," the voice on the other end said. Jean Grey was working with some of the camp survivors that afternoon and had left Charlotte in Jeanne-Marie's care. "Is everything okay? I sensed some distress from Charlotte." Jean's voice was obviously full of concern.
`There is no chance of hiding anything from her,' Jeanne-Marie knew. She said, "Charlotte is alright now. Jean, I apologize but my son has been acting horribly. He….he called her a name and slapped her. I've got him separated from her now. I'm terribly sorry. I don't know what caused this. I'm sure Charlotte didn't do anything."
"How's Charlotte?" Jean asked, trying to calm her anger and focussing on the condition of her daughter.
"She's fine. She's not crying. She's sitting down watching us. She seems to be fine though." Charlotte's calmness was quite a surprise to the former Alpha Flight member.
Jean debated stopping in there to pick up her daughter. She mentally linked up with Charlotte and was convinced that the baby was alright. She then asked Jeanne-Marie to contact her if anything else should happen, and resumed working with her group.
Jeanne-Marie turned back towards her son. "Stephan, you must never hit someone else. Especially not an innocent child. And you must learn to see mutants as human beings. You love me, don't you? I'm a mutant."
"I hate muties! And I hate it here! There's nothing to do. I wanna be back home, with my friends."
"We spoke about this, honey. You know that we can't go----"
"We can't cause my mother's a fucking mutant! I hate you!" With that, the boy ran out of the room.
Jeanne-Marie slumped down to the floor. She dropped her head on her hands and remained that way for many long moments.
She suddenly felt a little tap. Charlotte had crawled up to her and had her little arms open as if she wanted to give Jeanne-Marie a hug. Jeanne-Marie picked up the baby and cuddled her.
Chapter 4
Chapter 6