Ahhh, the teacher-in-service day, greatest of the unofficial school
holidays. Actually. . . isn't it the only unofficial school holiday? What
ever. Just be happy that I am back so that you may bask in godly glory and
worship me as I so richly deserve. And while you're at it, send up a couple
of those temple virgins up here as well. On with the story!
Chapter 24: Gods (can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. What's an atheist to do?)
CRAAA-AACK!
CRU-WHOOSH!
"AHH!"
"What happened, Kenshin?! Are you okay?"
"Stretched groin. I'll be fine Yusuke."
"If you say so. . . DUCK!"
"Where? I'm hungry!"
"Not the bird, you idiot! Kenshin nearly got flattened!"
"Oh. Dang." groaned Sanosuke, his stomach rumbling pitiably. "It's alright, big fella, shouldn't be long now." He said, in an oddly touching effort to be consoling to a major organ. He punched the 20-foot tall statue moronically trying to sneak up behind him, crumbling it to pieces, while Kenshin, his nether-regions back in working order, jumped from statue to statue and leaving little more than rubble in his wake.
"Where do these things keep coming from? Their obviously not meant to actually hurt us, or if they were, than whoever designed them was fool."
"Hmm, remember Maze-Castle Hiei? The cultivated Humans? These statues are mere obstacles to slow us down. My guess is that if we can keep moving, we might eventually find a safe spot. Or we could end up finding something significantly more dangerous. But the fact remains that they have effectively kept us from actually proceeding any further into the temple by sheer dint of their numbers and size."
"Any suggestions than, Kurama?"
"Yes. And I'm sure it is one that you will enjoy, Yusuke."
"What?"
"MOW THEM TO THE GROUND AND JUST KEEP GOING FORWARD! ROSE-WHIP: THORN WHEEL!"
"Sounds good to me."
And so our heroes pressed their attack, fighting like a herd of rabid capybaras, they tore into statues one after another using their strongest attacks. The statues kept coming, for like the legendary hydra, every statue destroyed would only leave another two to take its place. But they kept fighting. And fighting, and fighting. And they fought some more. But they were proceeding, and they were succeeding. It was a tiresome fight, especially for Kenshin who somehow managed to get a stretched groin for every fifth statue he destroyed, but even he took such indignities in stride.
"You know Kenshin, I bet that if you would just stretch properly before a big fight, I'm sure you wouldn't get your privates so mangled."
"I'll take that into consideration, Kurama. That I will."
"All right, enough with the personal care advice, people! What are we gonna do now? It doesn't look like there are any more a' those fickin' statues left." With those words, a "hidden" passageway opened behind Yusuke, who again failed to notice while he continued to rant and rave about what to do next.
"VERY WELL MORTALS. YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND HAVE SAID THE PASS PHRASE. GO IN, AND MEET YOUR DESTINY."
"Ya know, I think they forgot they the vaguely threatening laugh." noticed Yusuke.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Okay, maybe not."
Being the ever-intrepid heroes they all were, our heroes descended into the dark passageway.
"We really ought to stop being intrepid heroes, don't we?" Yusuke asked.
"Agreed." answered the group.
"For once." Hiei added.
"Can it, triclops."
"Silence, you carbon-copy of Kuwabara!"
"Children! Children! Settle down now. Hiei, that was completely uncalled for, telling someone that they're like Kuwabara. There is absolutely no need for that kind insult. And you, Sano, stop picking on Hiei. That's my job."
"Sorry, muhther." they sarcastically apologized.
As they continued going down the stairs, our heroes soon noticed an odd glow radiating from the walls themselves, giving everything a surreal quality, as though everything became both more real and less substantial. Including each other. Hiei soon changed into his other form, all green and covered with eyes, while Kurama's hair started to lighten, and his face began to become more vulpine in appearance. Neither of them had willingly caused the change, and nor could they seem to stop it or change back.
Kenshin, on the other hand, soon appeared to be drenched in blood, though when he tried to wipe it off it immediately reappeared. He didn't seem to be suffering any of the symptoms that such massive blood loss would cause, and he knew that none of the statues had harmed him, so he convinced everyone that it must be an effect of the temple.
Sanosuke too was covered in blood, but nowhere near as much as Kenshin. His clothes also became much more worn and tattered with every step he took, and soon, he was carrying his old zanbattou again.
Yusuke, on the other hand, was left relatively unchanged, save for the fact that now everyone could see his aura, a bright sky blue coil, undulating and writhing around him, and soon the very floor he was walking on began to crunch under his feet. Needless to say, this left quite a few wide eyes among his friends. Soon enough, they came to another door.
"Well, I guess this means we're taking door number 1, eh?"
"That joke was derivative and insipid, Yusuke."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, multiclops. I'm still opening it, unless someone has a better idea?" Yusuke opened the door.
"MORTALS WHO HAVE CHALLENGED THE GODS, PREPARE THYSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN AIDED BY YOUR STRENGTH TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE. HOPE THAT IT IS ENOUGH."
That being said, the Gods attacked.
**********************
The Three watched. The Three waited. The Three knew it would not be long now. The Three's plans were almost to fruition. The Three's freedom and vengeance rode on this battle just as much as the lives of the mortals who fought it. One of them passed around some popcorn. The others ate some.
Whoo-ee! This must be one of my longest chapters ever. Barely took an hour though. But maybe this will convince you to read my other story.
Chapter 24: Gods (can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. What's an atheist to do?)
CRAAA-AACK!
CRU-WHOOSH!
"AHH!"
"What happened, Kenshin?! Are you okay?"
"Stretched groin. I'll be fine Yusuke."
"If you say so. . . DUCK!"
"Where? I'm hungry!"
"Not the bird, you idiot! Kenshin nearly got flattened!"
"Oh. Dang." groaned Sanosuke, his stomach rumbling pitiably. "It's alright, big fella, shouldn't be long now." He said, in an oddly touching effort to be consoling to a major organ. He punched the 20-foot tall statue moronically trying to sneak up behind him, crumbling it to pieces, while Kenshin, his nether-regions back in working order, jumped from statue to statue and leaving little more than rubble in his wake.
"Where do these things keep coming from? Their obviously not meant to actually hurt us, or if they were, than whoever designed them was fool."
"Hmm, remember Maze-Castle Hiei? The cultivated Humans? These statues are mere obstacles to slow us down. My guess is that if we can keep moving, we might eventually find a safe spot. Or we could end up finding something significantly more dangerous. But the fact remains that they have effectively kept us from actually proceeding any further into the temple by sheer dint of their numbers and size."
"Any suggestions than, Kurama?"
"Yes. And I'm sure it is one that you will enjoy, Yusuke."
"What?"
"MOW THEM TO THE GROUND AND JUST KEEP GOING FORWARD! ROSE-WHIP: THORN WHEEL!"
"Sounds good to me."
And so our heroes pressed their attack, fighting like a herd of rabid capybaras, they tore into statues one after another using their strongest attacks. The statues kept coming, for like the legendary hydra, every statue destroyed would only leave another two to take its place. But they kept fighting. And fighting, and fighting. And they fought some more. But they were proceeding, and they were succeeding. It was a tiresome fight, especially for Kenshin who somehow managed to get a stretched groin for every fifth statue he destroyed, but even he took such indignities in stride.
"You know Kenshin, I bet that if you would just stretch properly before a big fight, I'm sure you wouldn't get your privates so mangled."
"I'll take that into consideration, Kurama. That I will."
"All right, enough with the personal care advice, people! What are we gonna do now? It doesn't look like there are any more a' those fickin' statues left." With those words, a "hidden" passageway opened behind Yusuke, who again failed to notice while he continued to rant and rave about what to do next.
"VERY WELL MORTALS. YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND HAVE SAID THE PASS PHRASE. GO IN, AND MEET YOUR DESTINY."
"Ya know, I think they forgot they the vaguely threatening laugh." noticed Yusuke.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Okay, maybe not."
Being the ever-intrepid heroes they all were, our heroes descended into the dark passageway.
"We really ought to stop being intrepid heroes, don't we?" Yusuke asked.
"Agreed." answered the group.
"For once." Hiei added.
"Can it, triclops."
"Silence, you carbon-copy of Kuwabara!"
"Children! Children! Settle down now. Hiei, that was completely uncalled for, telling someone that they're like Kuwabara. There is absolutely no need for that kind insult. And you, Sano, stop picking on Hiei. That's my job."
"Sorry, muhther." they sarcastically apologized.
As they continued going down the stairs, our heroes soon noticed an odd glow radiating from the walls themselves, giving everything a surreal quality, as though everything became both more real and less substantial. Including each other. Hiei soon changed into his other form, all green and covered with eyes, while Kurama's hair started to lighten, and his face began to become more vulpine in appearance. Neither of them had willingly caused the change, and nor could they seem to stop it or change back.
Kenshin, on the other hand, soon appeared to be drenched in blood, though when he tried to wipe it off it immediately reappeared. He didn't seem to be suffering any of the symptoms that such massive blood loss would cause, and he knew that none of the statues had harmed him, so he convinced everyone that it must be an effect of the temple.
Sanosuke too was covered in blood, but nowhere near as much as Kenshin. His clothes also became much more worn and tattered with every step he took, and soon, he was carrying his old zanbattou again.
Yusuke, on the other hand, was left relatively unchanged, save for the fact that now everyone could see his aura, a bright sky blue coil, undulating and writhing around him, and soon the very floor he was walking on began to crunch under his feet. Needless to say, this left quite a few wide eyes among his friends. Soon enough, they came to another door.
"Well, I guess this means we're taking door number 1, eh?"
"That joke was derivative and insipid, Yusuke."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, multiclops. I'm still opening it, unless someone has a better idea?" Yusuke opened the door.
"MORTALS WHO HAVE CHALLENGED THE GODS, PREPARE THYSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN AIDED BY YOUR STRENGTH TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE. HOPE THAT IT IS ENOUGH."
That being said, the Gods attacked.
**********************
The Three watched. The Three waited. The Three knew it would not be long now. The Three's plans were almost to fruition. The Three's freedom and vengeance rode on this battle just as much as the lives of the mortals who fought it. One of them passed around some popcorn. The others ate some.
Whoo-ee! This must be one of my longest chapters ever. Barely took an hour though. But maybe this will convince you to read my other story.